> “Hello there, addicts. Billy Does Mobile is back to not to praise mobile, but to ask a question about it. So the thing everybody does is have regular characters and then have seasonal alts. You know, summer, Christmas, summer. Commander of Heroes just came out with its summer alts, and it has me wondering, why? Why not have summer be the basic version and then put a costume on them for other events? I mean, if Aerywe Beruvo always looked like that, I would have made different decisions. I don't know, guys. I think we've been taking some pretty weird things for granted.”
The pan-ludic assembly passed a resolution to the following effect: “Metatron can do whatever he wants as long as I get to be in the game.” Metatron requested clarification as to whether it counted if someone combined aspects from multiple characters.
“That sounds hot,” MIDORI moved. That resolution also passed.
With that done, the cluster held its breath for Metatron to proceed to the next stage of development, then exhaled and went about its regular business before it collapsed. The Ersatz Struggle fighters resumed their training, though what more they might achieve after a thousand years of practice with exalted masters from established fighting game franchises did not merit achieving. As a result, the common training grounds, relocated beside the ocean while they waited for the artists to draw in the Century Lakes, turned into a salon with background music that consisted of thuds and battle cries.
“Lunar THRUST!” That one, for instance.
“It's nice to relax like this after all that craziness at the latest recruitment session. It's a given we won't say anything more about that. What I do want to ask is how are you holding up with all those costume changes, Aerywe Beruvo of the Whispering Waves?”
“Thank you for your concern, Vritia. Royal Decree! I find it refreshing to have a reason to switch between alts, considering that my bridal version fell rather short in mechanical terms. The ideal in my mind is for every officer to have multiple versions and occasion to use them.”
Tinni Ilx applauded so hard that Medics in the vicinity tossed ampules at her preemptively. “What a wonderful sentiment. I couldn't agree more. Let's also wish for the spinoff to succeed so much that we all get in via DLC. Wouldn't that be fun? Sure it would!”
Aerywe let Gaelvry spar with Lynissia alone for a bit to give herself time to entertain the idea. “No,” she said at last. “A bloated roster is most unsightly. The character select menu must be legible at a glance and allow space for ornamentation.”
While Tinni Ilx searched for people who shared her dream, and there were many, Hot Air Hank wandered around with a dejected look about him. His moping attracted a punch in the shoulder, magnet-like, from Heartful Azalea. “Hey there! It's fine to take setbacks hard, but successes are something else. With all the chaos the Frame Vacuum Minis caused, what's your completed, refined, souped-up Frame Vacuum (Standard Version) going to do? Break up the whole world probably, and then it's balloons for everyone to travel among the shards.”
“Aw, thanks for the cheer, and I wish I could see things in an Azalea kind of light, but I can't do it. Sure, my contraption is a miracle what any tussler a short time ago would have given every cent in his pockets to own, which by most accepted forms of mathematics comes out to zero cents total on account of all the frivolities they keep spending them on. Not that I want for anything, but pay's like keeping score for inventors. The stumbler is that somebody around here broke the counter.”
He held up his improved Frame Vacuum, the smooth, polished body of which reflected the sun's rays onto faces that stared at it with hungry eyes and lips moistened by restless tongues. Those faces belonged to the fighters announced for Commandment of Hero: Ersatz Struggle, who after a millennium of training at last considered frame data not a subject of academic interest or a phrase that kept popping out of Dosellian Urapta and his stooges while they pretended to listen by means of scattered uh-huhs and do-tells, but rather the very lattice of the universe.
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“Yes indeed. The 'Tiboleus Incident' as I call it made everything real clear to me. The way the little guy absorbed all them frames and such showed me what the lack was, which is these prongs here for running numbers through to create a directed alteration of temporal potential on account of the well-knowed phenomenon wherein everybody's got more time for bigger numbers than teensier ones. This Frame Vacuum now satisfies all requirements. It pulls out frames in whatever quantity you like according to the manipulation of these here switches and dials and puts them right where you want them to boot. Yessir, every reasonable function is included, and maybe you can get unreasonable if you turn the dials right. But what good's all that if little Tiboleus fixed everything up already? Just as I reach the top of the mountain, I find out valleys are all that's popular these days.”
Gradis P. Dorenz's cheerful response contained a tint of dark longing for those able to hear, which Hot Air Hank was not, being more of a maker than a listener as he was. “That's a shame. I hate to see ambition unrewarded, except when my enemies have it. Just put that away in our clubhouse vault. We'll find a use for it sooner or later.”
“You won't, because I funded that Frame Vacuum. If anyone gets to sit on it in case market conditions change, it's me.” Wruden Calx acted to assert his claim after a quick conference with Marileanna.
The other fighters dispensed with legal justifications and just went for it. Waltzing Matilda kicked the whole thing off four-hoof style by advancing at a full trot and yanking the Vacuum right out of Hot Air Hank's twitchy little hands. “I have committed the crime. My stage training prepared me for this. First I would like to thank the children.”
“How conscientious,” Count Poitnem commended her. “While you do that, I will remove this heavy Vacuum from your hands.”
Waltzing Matilda looked at the space where she had been holding the Frame Vacuum seconds earlier for a good long time, unable to understand what had happened. “Villains can have things stolen from them? That sounds implausible.” She looked around for someone more given to villainy who could explain the rights and privileges inherent to the lifestyle, but all of them were busy engaging in villainy. Cloton Zvolo took some starch out of Count Poitnem's ruffles with a diving tackle that sent the Vacuum flying, only for it to be snagged by Duelist Theena with some deft sword-work. Lynissia smacked said sword aside with her sign and grabbed the device with her free hand where the Vacuum sat for all of five seconds before an active young duchess from the Tasgan Federation Glofaled through the mob and Darlotted the thing away.
The hubbub mega-evolved into a brouhaha when the non-fighters who happened to be present decided to get involved on behalf of their favorites. In many cases, the favorite was not yet confirmed to be in the game, but doubtless DLC would supplement the obviously lacking launch lineup. The helpful boundaries around the training area which consisted of ropes taped to traffic cones failed to contain the non-ersatz struggle once a couple dozen officers tossed their Skill Stars in, and the conflict broadened yet more when Trainer Eumorsedio managed to run all the way to the plaza with the Frame Vacuum tucked under his armpit before merciless impacts of arrows, bullets, and elemental power at last caused him to Flinch.
As before, a few brave Convergence/Divergence heroes had the courage to fail in their attempts to save the food stations, and neither did the clubhouses survive the brawl intact. Not only did nearly every officer in Commandment of Hero's roster join in once the word got out via Society Page Lasva's big mouth and busier pencil, but many from Furious Galaxy and Afterschool Hunters had cause to believe some frame adjustments might help them in their own upcoming spinoffs. It was too late for Slay Every Dragon unless the publisher wanted to fund ongoing balance adjustments, which was not impossible, strictly speaking.
The low-atmosphere FG bombardment took care of everything around the data renewal facility which had the temerity to stick up, and the frenzied warriors below carved new Nazca lines in the ground except without all the purpose and skill. The complex patterns of destruction spread northward as whoever held the Frame Vacuum tried to escape toward the spaceport west of Freegate where Cracked Orbs of Mastery waited on the convenience of travelers prone to airsickness, train fever, or a sudden desire to get away from it all. Once in Opuwa, a fugitive would be able to flee over the practically infinite landscape. Any pursuit after that would have a worse chance of success than a new entry in the crowded mobile space.