I’m five years old now…

The first of three stages in a child’s life before they are considered an adult.

5 years old, being able to walk and talk, kids are no longer considered completely dependent on another to live.

10 years, then you’re big enough to take care of those smaller than you, and big enough to be proficient with a sword to defend yourself and other from a goblin or what not.

15 years, and you’re an adult ready spread your seed and have a family of your own.

Well technically I K years old where K is any integer greater than 5, because ya know, knowing everything until like chapter 18 of this story.

Knowing that you’re a character in some shitty web novel and the ending to said novel makes one older than they actually are.

In the regular time line Conrad(Elf bro) comes and tells me about I have no talent for magic, and that I am to learn the way of the sword.

And we talk little about his circumstances and they are in debt, and that there’s not much to be done.

Conrad opens the shed, closing door and the frosty air behind him. He shakes off the snow on his head on shoulders, as he removes his cloak. After his satisfied that he’s dry enough he comes over to me to pick up my dead weight of a body to place me in front of him as he begin to talk about the mentioned subjects.  

“…That’s fine too, not everyone can use chant-less magic. 

Chantless mages are uncommon, but for some reason orphans have a higher chance of using it compared to other people.

Those who can use it will have an easier time, but for you, you must work hard. 

Because you can’t use chantless magic you’ll have to fight in the front line, therefore you have to work harder, so you don’t die”

…

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“It’s fine if you wish to leave, but wait till you have reached intermediate in at least one sword style, you do not have to worry about this debt, you can go and live you own life. 

I nod at his words, he hands me his mentor’s dagger from his days as an adventurer; after a few more words, he takes out his grandmother’s gloves and hands them to me.

Seeing those gloves I can’t help but smirk at the memories I had with his grandmothers, or should I say the memories that I will have with her.

“Thanks” I mummer as caress the gloves indulging in the pings of emotions that I rarely feel now a days.

“… You smile a lot, but I always feel like you put up a mask when you do, hiding something you don’t want to say… this smile feels real.”

Conrad tells me as I continue to indulge in the memories of his grandmother.

“… You may not related any of us here by blood, but we really do think of you as family, so if you ever have anything to say then you can tell us no matter what it is.”

I had a lot in my head I wanted to say:

“You’re going to die no matter what anyone does, please kill that fucking noble and leave this city.”

“You people are nothing but characters meant to die”

“All the kids you’re raising have an agenda, and the other two are in the same boat as you who will follow to death.”

I don’t care anymore.

…

A few moments pass and neither of us say anything.

“You are all going to die”

“…”

“In a few years, the noble your indebted to will join the rebels factions and use the debt contract to force you to fight for their side, and then you will all be slaughtered”

“Is that my… is that our fate?”

“Yes”

“…”

I told him anyway I don’t care anymore.

“Then that’s how it is, will you kids be fine.”

“We’ll live, it’s part of the story. Well Cain and Lotus won’t make it, they will follow you guys.”

“I see…”

“You could say that we are all just part of a story that has ended in the creators head since time immemorial.”

“If you know this can you change anything?”

“Does it really matter? I just a character that was given cognizance of his everything, as such he can just write whatever he wants. Say I do save everyone… then he can just continue the story on the next page ignoring everything that happened before and continue the actual story.”

This is all just shit show.

“Then accept it”

“Accept what?”

“Your Fate.”

“I want a happy ending.”

“That is not your fate.”

“I know.”

“Accept it.”

“And then what?”

“Move on.”

Conrad stands up, walking to the door, he dons his cloak and stare down at me.

“Even if it’s fate just do what you want.”

“What if, what who I am is no longer what I am? What if everything I thought was controlled by another?”

“Then accept it and move on.”

“I want to save myself.”

I whimpered, and begged for someone to save me.

“Ok then do.”