I’m getting kind of lazy here, I don’t really rewrite all shit, I know I was all gung ho and shit about making quality stuff but you know what here:

“I think I’m 2 now?

I really have no clue what’s going on, but I’m not supposed to, I’m just a baby~

I’m starting to get a hang of the language, Go me! 

Sorry that’s a lie, I have no idea what anyone is saying for the most part.

I’m surprised that I understand anything at all, after listening to some words enough times they just stuck with me.

I guess living in the language is a lot better than trying to learn it from a book, or is it just because I’m a baby that I’m picking it up, who knows.       

Oh yeah something to say about these past two years in this wonderful land? I’ll make an easy to understand Haiku.

Will the weather change?

Will anything ever change?

No it won’t, dumbass.

That’s more or less the summary of the last two years I’ve spent in the area.

It’s still freaking cold, and the 13 of us are still a giant mass of flesh.

Well I’ve gotten a little bit bigger so I’m not as freaking cold, so there’s that.

Now a days I can see and walk and hobble about so I have some bearing of my surroundings now. 

We live in a big shack close to the walls of the city, there’s a well not too far from the shack, so that’s good, for some reason the water don’t freeze, I wonder why?

We also live really close to the walls, and if you hugged the wall and kept going south for about an hour or two you’ll reach the city gates where people come and go. 

Close to the well is some kind of food stuffs store or a restaurant, we take their trash from time to time if we can’t get any food for ourselves.

And that’s about the extent of my surroundings that I know.

What you expected me to talk about the house since I should wobbling around it?

Well it’s a shack one room, one roof, four walls, or is it three since one wall is a door? That’s more or less the house. 

I only know where the wells, stores, and gate are because me and the other baby have to be on one of the big kids at all times, I assume because we’d freeze to death with no one home. 

Everyone seems to be doing something during the day, begging or doing odd jobs I’d have to guess, what do poor people do?

I really wish that I could grow up soon and change this all around!

…

I’m with one of the big kids today; oh did I mention that he’s an elf! 

He has long ears and everything, I love fucking around with his ears it’s so much fun, and he doesn’t mind too much either so I end up spending most the day with him. 

Today we’re doing something new, usually we hang around the restaurant place and wait for a chance to grab some trash when no one’s looking, or we go around looking for firewood, stuff like that.

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Today we’re staying at the shack for some reason.

After everyone leaves he looks at me and says

“___something something_____ (I wish i knew the language, lol) Learn”

Cool am I finally going to learn something about this world?

He shows me the palm of his hand and the air around his hand starts to waver.

After a moment a small fireball appears. 

It’s like if you took some string cheese and squished it into a ball then plasma starts exploding out of it, that sorta thing, 

that’s the image that comes to mind when you think of fireballs right?

HOLY FUCKING SHIT, IT’S MAGIC~!@#$%^&*(423504542y623y7gy139843g

I shit and pissed myself in excitement.

Elf bro gave me a funny look and put away the fire (how does that work?) before wiping my ass cleaning me up.

BUT DUDE ITS FUCKING MAGIC, IM IN A FUCKING WORLD OF MAGIC!!!

…

Now that I got that out of my system, I try to do that.

I clenched my asshole, scrunched my face, I tensed up my arm, and I thought of fire.

Fire, fire, fire, fire… FIRE, FIRE FIRE FI-RE, FIR-E, FIRE-, -FIRE, F-IRE, F-IR-E, F-I-R-E, uhhhh 

Nothing happened D; 

I think Elf bro tells me something along the lines of next time, I’m so sad I wish I could understand the language, so I could learn faster.”

I know what you’re thinking guys wtf is this shit, isn’t the author just completely disregarding their readers, and just fucking these chapters, which were perfectly fine, but throwing in to stupid fucking commentary?

You’re not wrong right now as a character I’ve have full consciousness of what doing.

And what I’m trying to say is that this story is SHIT!

What?

Following conventions and all that stuff?

I guess, I can barely remember what’s happening any more, I’m a baby after all.

And all I’m thinking is how pointless this whole thing is going to be anyway, right now at this point in time for the next… uhhh 18 chapters I have full lucidity and access to the entire history of this story.

For the next 16 chapters I guess, I might change the original banal story into something, or not.

Whatever.

What even happens in this chapter anyway?

Let’s see

- I grew up to the age of 2

- I love my adopted family so fucking much

- It’s fucking cold, yes we know that, trying to make a some sort of cool metaphor later in the story, sorry I don’t think I’m that skilled.

-We learn that there is magic in this setting and I shit my pants, *laugh track*

That about it, I guess if I wanted to be really minimalistic then I could just go: “I grew up, I loved my family they take care of me, it fucking cold, I pooped myself *hahahah*, this setting has magic holy shit!”

God I’m so sick of this.