Hi it’s your 4th wall breaking shit of a main character, that you may or may not mistake for the author trying to comment on their own work, coming to you with this forth chapter.

Here you go:

“Three Years old, it’s the age where you can walk around and talk to other people. 

I can finally speak a bit and have proceeded to gather information about my surroundings.

So first off is everyone I know.

1) ME! 3 years old, I’m fucking awesome!

2) Varvara! 3 years old, she’s a smart one she can already use magic to make fires.

3) Yefim! 8 years old, he uhh… he’s pretty nice.  

4) Yegor! 7 years old, he’s Yefim’s brother, he’s pretty buff and can lift me and Varvara with one arm.

5) Kurara! She looks similar to those two, she doesn’t talk much.

6) Conrad, ? years old, he’s my elf bro!

7) Maya, 17 years old, she’s the blonde sis!

Umm…

So uhh yeah this is awkward I really don’t know everyone even after all this time, well it’s not really my fault, elf bro takes care of me and Varvara most of the time while the other adults (teens?) take care of the other kids.

It’s something like this: 

Elf bro is with me and Varvara.

Blonde sis takes care of the two bros and Kurara.

Tall bro takes care of the two 10 something year olds.

And gloomy bro takes care of the two biggest kids. 

There are times when tall bro, and gloomy bro’s groups go and don’t come home for a week or two at a time.

So I don’t really hang out with them that much.

Whenever I ask elf bro he just tells me their out making money. 

Most my days are spent with Varvara, Yefim, Yegor, Kurara, elf bro, and blonde sis.

Elf bro teaches us magic and language, blonde sis teaches us what to eat, what not to eat, and make us exercise so we grow up nice and strong. 

I still can’t use magic that well, but Elf bro tells me its fine and that most people can’t use until they’re 5 years old.

Though Varvara can make fireballs, she’s pretty awesome.

She could only cast a fire ball or two a day when she started, but after a few weeks she could throw out dozens without breaking a sweat.

Elf bro was really surprised, because most people in this world agree that one is born with a finite amount mana in their body.

This leads to there being something like a 1 to 20 ratio for every magician there are 20 warriors sorta thing. 

…

This is bad if I remember in that one web novel I read, there was a setting similar to this.

That magic can grow as long as you cast it, and will stop growing after a certain age.

I really have to try something, otherwise how am I going to be OP!?

Ok, since there are no books, I can only go off what I hear from the others. 

Elf bro tells me to imagine a fire from within, to feel warmth and to bring it out.

Varvara tells me to impose a fire upon this world; she says “a fire should be there, if it isn’t there then make the fire come out, because she must be shy.”

Blonde sis tells me that there are standard incantations that will let anyone cast a spell.

But most are of those belong to the rich, and some merchant will sell a copy for pretty penny.

She says that magic can be done by anyone, but most don’t have the aptitude for it, because of the aforementioned finite mana pool each person has.

She tells not to worry too much, and that there are other ways to fight in this world.

… 

Damn I can’t really feel anything, aww well maybe next time; I tried hard enough for today right?

Blonde sis and elf bro tells me that if I can’t do it that it should be fine. 

I’ll just try tomorrow, yeah tomorrow is going to be the day I use magic.”

Lol I actually forgot about most these character’s besides the main ones.

Did you know that in the original plot I was going to become a demon lord of ice in the epilogue crafting weapons and shit for humanity and talking about how the only thing we can do is to progress?

Well that’s not happening, but I did live through that, so please do forgive me for forgetting things here and there, I have the entirety of this universe to try and comprehend.

I may be just 2 years old irl… err in this story, naw irl since I really do exist rn now.

Well not really I may exist and feel things as a real person, put as it stands now I know that I’m nothing more than a concept in this world that somehow exists within a reader’s mind: that is you who are reading this, whoever you are. I just a concept that exists because you are reading this, if no one read this then I would be nothing more than text, you catch my drift?

But yeah summery time:

= character introductions me (myself); Varvara (Her); Yefim, Yegor, Kurara (The neutral faction, or the beast man dudes); Leo, Nona (The Lawful faction, or the Original faction) Conrad, Maya, Mark, Vlad (the four parent figures)

=How I spend my days with these guys.

=Being poor

=talking about the magic system a bit.

=my desire to be accepted as a somewhat goofy character before being completely in the plot later on.

Yeah so that more or less covers what happens as I turn three, or in this chapter 4.

It’s kind hard to know how I exist anymore, my souls has been somewhat corrupted to be able to process all this information.

I can’t really feel time anymore rather I just perceive that chapters exist and that after Dungeon #1: Day 1, Last Part my soul will be restored to its original state, and I will have to go through everything that will happen.

Sigh.

Kinda pointless trying to do anything knowing it will happen anyway. I mean I could write out the entirety of what will happen in the future on paper and hope that I can somehow live a happier life, but at that point I won’t be me anymore, and he’s just going to get himself killed if he knows.

All I can really do is follow these steps that already exist, without deviation, that way I know that I(me?) the person I’ll be after I forget after I forget everything will live.

But there’s a big gap until that chapter or about 4 years in real time, I think damn I don’t even remember anything anymore.

Whatever.

“Hey where are you going” Conrad asks me

“The weather looks nice today I wanna go outside” I said trying to make the most innocent smile I could.

“Ok just make sure you covered also, Warmth” Conrad casts a utility warmth spell on me.

“Thanks a lot bro” I thank him.

I move a sleeping infant version of Varvara out of the way so I can open the door, and I take a few steps out onto this snow covered land.

It’s not too bad since I’ve got 3 layers on plus a spell to keep me warm.

“Ahhh” when you breathe you can still see your breathe though.

This shack, this adopted family, this fucking country/city-state whatever the fuck it is.

Ahh this fucking sucks, I should just drown myself in the snow and end it all here… but It’s not really my life to decide.

Since I(me) the person I will be after I lose all this knowledge chose not to kill himself, I won’t do it.

*plop*

Throwing myself on the snow I make fail my arms and legs making a snow angel.

Looking up at the sky all I can see is white.

But today the weather is good, not a cloud in the sky and the sun is shining bright.

Under these circumstances even in is world of white, I can see it.

I can see the tinge of blue that barely exist, faint, but it’s still there.

Why, why does it make me feel like crying?

*sniff* I never asked for this, heh I guess I did ask for the whole reincarnating thing, but I never asked to know everything about the future.

To for some reason be given knowledge of my existence within the confines of this universe, for an arbitrary amount of time so that the author gain their desire to write the rest of my shitty life through my eyes.

*sniff* *sniff* this sucks.

…

“Hey.”

Shit I’m not supposed to be here at this point in time.

Nth Tier Liquid Extremity: Rippled Reality

{([9 “Hi” I replied with my arm over my eyes.

This is voice is Nona’s.

I guess she finished training and saw me crying over here.

“Are you sad?” She continued to speak in her usual monotone voice.

“I am”

“At what?”

“At this world, at myself, at everything.”

“Hey Leo go back home I want to talk for a while” she gestured for Leo to go back into the shack.

“???OK :D” Leo followed the order making a face something like that emote.

Then she look back towards me.

And silence for maybe what felt like 30 minutes, maybe it was 30 hours, most likely is was 30 seconds because who in their right mind would sit still in the snow for that long?

“uhhaa---“

Then she gave an exasperated sigh.

“Aren’t you 3, you barely learned how to talk and yet you’re talking about losing all your hope in humanity, a bit young don’t you think?”

The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

“…” I don’t really know what to say.

“Do want to snuggle? Human warmth reminds us that we exist and that we are not alone”

I took her up on that offer and dove head first into her pants, specifically the gap in-between her legs.

“Cracks are the warmest part, so let me rest here.”

I can’t see what kind of face she’s making, but it’s fine, she won’t remember any of this after we’re done.

“So that’s the kind of person you are, acting a bit serious, then getting embarrassed you try to hide it how cute~”

Her voice starts to perk up, and her she sheds the cool and monotone façade that she normally dons.

Then I feel something, a hand stroking my head, she’s petting my head.

“Please don’t pet my head, I feel like it diminishes my masculinity, and maturity, so that it’s just like your looking down on me.

In fact human warmth is fine, snuggling really does make me feel good and gives me hope. But why do I feel like head petting is a no go and demeaning?

Let me tell you my dear Nona, head pets are things you do with your pets, hence the name petting.

People may think that this is just a form endearment one can use for anyone.

But let’s look at the dictionary!

Liquid Extremity: Infinite Projection

============================================================== 

Let’s look at the dictionary stroke or pat (an animal) affectionately.

verb

% stroke or pat (an animal) affectionately.

"the cats came to be petted"

synonyms:

stroke, caress, fondle, pat

"the cats came to be petted"

 % treat (someone) with affection or favoritism; pamper.

"I was cosseted and petted and never shouted at"

synonyms:

pamper, spoil, mollycoddle, coddle, cosset, baby, indulge, overindulge

"she had always been petted by her parents"

 % engage in sexually stimulating caressing and touching.

 "couples necking and petting in the cars"

Synonyms: kiss and cuddle, kiss, cuddle, embrace, cares

===============================================================

Oh I guess the second definition somewhat fits that definition.

But no, I can’t back down!

Petting, and pets don’t you get it your treating me like an animal, like something below you!

Is what I’m trying to say.”

Yes I am peeved at head petting fuck anyone who wants to be petted like an animal.

Any I more or less screamed the entirety of my tangent, spit, snot, tears, and all into Nona’s crotch, I casted the projection magic behind so that she could, but I could tell what was on it, see it makes sense that I could still see the definition even though I was face first in her crotch.

Well she stopped, petting me at least.

“So….. you don’t want me to pet is that it?” I can feel the hesitation in her voice, I think I sacred her, well who wouldn’t be thrown off their game when some shitty brat trying to lecture you will buried in your crotch.

Oh god I’m so embarrassed.

“Naw, just keep on petting me.” I tell her.

“Ok~”

Some more silence.

“… ahh~” Oh god this feels good, I feel at peace with the world now, I don’t mind knowing that I’m going to be NTRed, beaten senseless, have a dick shoved my ass in the future, or that I know that I will crumble knowing that I can’t really live a proper life in this world with my strict morals, fuck all of that. Right now this is the best thing in the world oh god, if I were older then I’d jizz in my pants from the stimulation.

“Feeling better?” She’s asks while shuffling her legs.

“…A bit” She just goes at her own pace, well she did just go on a journey after the Kingdom Arc, rather than… you know have anything to do with the kingdom that messed up everyone’s life.

“So about that petting thing, even though you are so vehemently opposed to it in your head, you just melt like snow if someone asks you if you want it.. Why do you think that?” Great now she’s trying to act like a detective finding the reasons for people actions.

“Who cares, I’m stupid like that, if you want a reason it’s because I feel like I’m the verge of organism when someone pets my head.” Hey I’m not lying.

“Even if part of the reason is because you’re a pervert, I don’t think that the entire reason, would you like to hear my guess~” So far she’s had one hand on my head while the other one was petting it. Just now she removed the idle hand, which mean she must have stuck up her index finger in a balled hand, you know the sort of gesture for an idea.

“Sure~ why not~” Might as well go with her pace.

“Hmhmhm. So here’s what I think, I think you really do believe the things that you were saying, and at the same time you want to be petted.

That means that you think that you yourself should be degraded as a human being and looked down upon, you deserve to be treated in this demeaning manner.”

…Bitch don’t tell me what I think

“If that is the reason let’s take it back one more step, why do you feel like you should be degraded and treated like an animal?

I think for that question, it’s because it’s the think that makes you feel good, you can feel safe knowing that you are less than human, knowing that you’re an animal, having a place in this cruel world where no one knows there place, knowing that there is someone that will endear you for pitiful existence, it makes you feel good doesn’t it?

But of course I could be wrong, so was I right?”

…Bull eyes, I guess my personality really doesn’t change even if I know everything.

“Yeah, sure your right.” I crawled out from her crotch from her petting from her pity, and sat on the snow facing her.

“You know, it doesn’t really mean anything right, you just making up stories on your own, making something as harmless as a petting into something so twisted and fucked up, right?’

“But that’s who I am, I can’t really help it.”

“I guess accepting is one solution, just accept that you a shameless person that wishes to be pitied so that you can find your own place in the world. But if so why did you leave, if you really accept that you were a shameless person than why are you sitting in front of me staring me straight in the eye? That’s something someone with pride does.” 

She’s right there to, I was fine letting her me if she didn’t know, but now that she knows I no longer have the desire to let her pet me, I want to keep this part of me myself I don’t want anyone to have it. Well she’s not going to remember any way.

“It’s b-because..se” I’m stammering I don’t want you to look at me like this, I don’t want you to look me in the eye and talk to me as if we were equals, we’re not, I’m not, I’m worse than shit.

“Because I want to keep myself me, I want to be me, If some were to know me then, then I wouldn’t be me anymore, if they knew who I really was then they could approach me… I don’t want anyone to approach me I don’t want anyone to change me, even if who I am is someone worthless… Like you, you fucking bitch.”

She’s staring at me her stare hurts, it hasn’t changed but I have no idea what she’s thinking about me, fuck I may be all knowing, and know that she won’t remember this, just this moment right now that she’s glaring at me hurts so much.

Fuck I’m just letting myself thinking about the possible insults she has in her head right now; I don’t want to be labeled, don’t call me rude, and don’t call me pitiable, I don’t want to hear any of those things.

“Aww pish posh~ you’re just trying to push me away cause you’re sacred aren’t ya?

It’s fine let’s act like I never said anything, I don’t have anything else to say, your still young, and when you grow up you’ll have more experience and things to think about, hopefully you can find it in you self to find an answer that will make you happy, come on come back here~” She say patting her lap.

“What if I don’t? What if I just spend the rest of my life feeling horrible?”

“I don’t know, I won’t say anything, but I hope that one day you’ll become bored of being miserable, or that you wake up one day and don’t feel like a cloud of hyper gravity is bearing down on you, or that you’ll meet someone who can make you feel differently, or that one that you’ll find it in yourself to change.

I really do hope the best for you~”

I’m tired, I’ll take her up on that offer.

Laying being 3 I’m like 2 ft nothing, so I just laid my back onto her chest.

She rested her chin on head, hugged me with one arm, and used the other play with my dick.

“What are you doing?”

“Trying to break the ice.”

 “No… Oh god this is so wrong I’m being violated.

“Hey little boy, you’re not going anywhere now that you’re in my clutches. Tehe~”

“So you won’t tell me anything?” I’m scared.

“I won’t” She finally pulled her hand out of my pants.

“Let’s just talk about meaningless things until your spell ends.”

“You knew, I felt something weird at first, but I couldn’t put my finger on it, then you just went ahead and casted a top tier spell out of nowhere, I more or less figured that you casted a spell when we started to talk.”

“Yeah, I casted something called rippled reality this event will be carried away by the ripples of the universe, it’ll be as if nothing happened, well I’ll know at least, I’m being forced to know everything right now.”

“I see, I see. How interesting.” She says as she nods she head on top of mine, her chin is hitting my head, it kinda hurts, so used my hand to buffer the hit, she noticed and stopped.

“Aren’t you 3 though? Why so angsty?”

“Aren’t you 8, why do you feel so adult like?”

“I’ll tell you if you tell me how bout’ it?”

Sure why not.

“Ok, you better not freak though, I’m actually a person from another world who was reborn retaining all his memories and personality from his last life!”

“Wow that’s so…. Whatever, lol so what about the uber-tier magic? Did that come with the keeping your memories?”

“Come on I know, that this kinda of stuff is bound to happen where magic exists, but still ehhh whatever. The magic I got from this world, I’m experiencing a phenomenon where I’m forced to know everything right now, which lets me casts this magic.”

“Cool, Well no need to tell you about myself then, you probably know already.”

Yeah I do.

“I guess knowing everything, doesn’t really help you at all huh?”

“Nope”

“So tell me about your world I want ta know!”

“Sure what do you wanna know?”

“ok so first what about the food over there is it any different?”

“Let’s see, we got a lot more sauces than over here, so it more things we call dipping foods like French fries, and chicken nuggets, and……”

“I see, I see, then what about travel, what do you guys use for the higher ups if you don’t have magic?”

“We have air planes and they are….” 6])} : reality dispersed

…I’m hiding behind the shack right now, and I see Nona and Leon coming back from training, they stop for a second to stare at the snow angel I made, and go back into the shack.

Safe.

Sliding down the wall of the shack onto the floor my ass makes a satisfying plop sound.

“That was fun.”

I murmured to no one in particular.

Tilting my head up I see the sky.

Good weather today.

Not a cloud in sight.

The sun is shining bright.       

And when in this land covered into snow which cause the sky to reflect an eternal white.

A speck of blue can be seen in the white sky.

For a moment the sky had a shade of blue, even if it lasted a moment it still existed, even if no one will remember, I’ll remember.

But when I can no longer remember that shade of blue.

It doesn’t matter it happened and it pasted, I’ll keep on going even if it isn’t that much longer, no need to stay fixated on point in time forever.