Today is another day.
I wake up and go over to Varvara; she heats up the water for everyone.
I wash my face and body,
Training begins today, all the daily exercises are in order, followed by a few bouts against each other, then another bout with Nona, Leo, and I against Tall bro.
He beats us down, as always, and lectures us on team fighting tactics.
Besides that Leo has reached intermediate in Impact style and Nona reached intermediate in suppression style.
Tall bro looks us over and with gleaming eyes and says.
“Good, I’ve thought you all as much as I can teach you, the only things left is for you to get experience and grow stronger yourself, training is over, go and conquer the Luke Warm dungeon and your training will be over!”
Oh I guess today isn’t just another day.
…
Alright here’s the group formation:
Leo is the vanguard his job is to rip though the enemies killing as many as he can throw them into disarray.
Nona and I are mid guard, we’re the second wave that will clean up all the left overs to the left and right of Leo’s and preventing any monsters from changing our rear.
Rear guard is Yefim, Kurara, and Yegor.
Yefim is in charge of healing, Kurara is to keep her mana in reserve for when for any BIG ones, and the monster boss.
Yegor is their guard to keep them safe in case any monster’s get past us, and will sub as caster for Kurara if she runs out of mana, and Nona will take the guard position.
That’s the formation for normal mobs.
In case of a BIG monster or the boss, Yegor, Kurara, and I take Vanguard and will prevent its advance Leo takes mid guard and whenever he see the chance jumps in to deal damage or prevent one of us from getting killed.
Yefim will heal us, and Nona will be casting magic till the thing dies.
Apparently dungeons are a thing in this world; the lowest ranked dungeon has an intermediate level boss that is Rank E.
Completing a dungeon will net you the adventurer rank +1, so if we defeat the rank E dungeon we’ll be able to get Rank D as adventures.
I asked the Elf bro, and he has no idea why dungeons exist, it’s just that beating one will decrease the surrounding monster population, as they will migrate into the dungeon, and the dungeon will restore itself.
The 2 main draws to dungeon is all the shit that you can find, mostly from dead dungeon crawlers or whatever the monsters bring from the surrounding area when the dungeon gets reset.
The other draw is the boss of the dungeon, they are unique monsters that only exist in the confines of the dungeon, and when you kill one they have a magic core that are highly useful for magician, so they go for a lot of money.
The Luke Warm dungeon that we’re heading too is an E ranked dungeon that no body bother going to.
The boss Luke Warm Turtle only drops a low quality core that isn’t worth the man power, risk, or time needed to complete the dungeon.
Due to this no one enters the dungeons so there is no dead man’s loot, and the monsters are generally E ranked and the loot they bring is low tier as well.
So generally the Luke Warm dungeon is empty, other dungeons tend to be filled to the brim with people trying to make a profit.
Well that’s the basic lesson on dungeon in this world today.
Next on the list is preparations and planning.
Our group consists of 6 people: Leo, Nona, me, Yefim, Yegor, and Kurara.
The Luke Warm Dungeon is very simple; one straight path to the Lake where the Luke Warm Turtle lives.
The distance from the entrance to the Lake is some 43 Kilometers, about a day’s journey on foot, but since we’ll be fighting we need to chop the whole thing into three days, to recover our strength and not get worn out.
So that’s a 6 day round trip, food for 6 for 6 days that’s about 36 portions of food, how the hell are we going to get that much food with our nonexistent budget, fuck!
Tall bro told us we have a month to clear the Luke Warm Dungeon.
And for some reason the party chose me to do logistics, fuck them, shouldn’t we this job go to the oldest person?
Well Nona said she isn’t smart enough, Leo said he trusted me the most, and Trio told me not to jack this up.
I guess we’re all kids anyway, might as well let the awesome me with my adult sensibilities guide this project to a success.
Now that I think about it I always ended up working alone on group projects, so I’ve always been handling everything myself anyway.
At the very least the rest of the party said that they’ll help me get whatever I need to complete prepare for the run.
Ok where was I, food.
If were to die because of hunger that would be pitiful.
…
“Hey Varvara”
“Yeah?”
“Give some money to I or I is gonna punch at you”
“It’s a pity where am I going to get alcohol now that you have died…”
“Hey I’m not dead yet”
“And after I’ve cut off your arms and legs, I’m going to throw you in a pit of rape dogs, they’re going to rape all your orifices”
“I’m sorry, may I please have some money Mistress Varvara.”
“No~”
…
Plan A was dud, I know that recently the aristocracy has taken an interest in Varvara, Seeing such a bundle of talent who wouldn’t?
If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.
She hasn’t declined, but she hasn’t accepted either, I guess she’s just enjoying her time here or something.
They gave her a pass to access the royal library, so I’m pretty sure if she asked for some money they would give to her.
Wait now that I think about it, couldn’t she just ask to get rid of the debt?
Asking her thus, she replied with a scrunch of her face.
“I have already tried that, the response was that the crown had a policy of non-interference with high nobility, so they couldn’t grant my request, which is stupid.”
“Well damn, couldn’t you ask them for some food for my dungeon raid?”
“You’re a capable person, I’m sure you can manage it.”
…
Plan B
We’re going to eat the monsters!
First let’s get a quote on that.
Gloomy bro: “Don’t throw your life away”
Blonde sis: “That’s a horrible idea, you don’t know what weird stuff those monsters have been eating, what if it gets into you?”
Elf bro: “I guess you could, but you’d need someone who specialized in preparing monsters to eat, and an advanced mage in detoxification magic, in case you contract any diseases”
I guess it’s the same connotation as going to war and eating other humans, nobody really does it.
Sigh~
Dungeon Meshi, why’d you lie to me?
…
Plan C
I’m just going to freeze a giant thing of mish mash soup.
And so I pitched the idea to my party they had their qualms, but they couldn’t think of anything better so we just spent the whole day scavenging for leftover food from people’s trash.
By the time we finished looking for enough food, we threw it into a pile and we boxed of the pile with giant slabs of wood we got from ripping apart an old abandoned house in the area.
Now we’ve hit a problem.
After boxing off the food, we spent some 2-3 hours running back and forth from the well to the box filling it up with water.
But after it was filled to the brim, the water was still cold, and you can’t stew with cold water.
We stupidly tried having Nona cast some fire balls into the stew, gently so that the soup wouldn't splash everywhere, but it once the fire entered the stew it went out and leaving behind no trace of any heat.
Fuck.
We spent a whole fucking day of labor just to end up with a cold pool of leftovers.
I’m going to lose my shit.
Holy fucking crap, over 15 hours of shit gone to waste.
Fuck that.
Plan C-4
We took out some the water from the box, and placed them into 4 metal pots, these four metal pots were all we had.
They were the only containers that could conduct heat, fucking hell we are going to make this work.
The process went something like this:
Step 1) Pour water from the box into the pot
Step 2) Heat up the water using fire magic
Step 3) Pour the hot water back into the pot
Go back to step 1 until the water in the box starts to boil.
…
HeheaufhaewgagBA
Shit fuck pussy fart cunt.
After some 15 hours of repeating this horrible horrible shity shity fucking diarrhea inducing, goatsee fisting process, we finally got the water to boil.
Our hand were wet, we were on the verge of getting hypothermia, but we had fire magic and healing magic, and detox magic, arm pits, and butt holes to stick our hand into, then our arm pit and assholes started to freeze too.
Anyway the water boiled, and we stewed the shit in the box.
After it was done, Nona, Yegor, and Yefim casted ice magic on the fuck.
Everyone was tired as fuck repeating this mindless cold task over and over and over, everyone looked like a zombie.
No we were zombies doing this for shit this long.
And thus, we had created our very own block of frozen stew, which would feed 6 people for 6 days. Hahahahahhahahhahhahahhhhahahahahahhsvfhjbahlfjbvhjlfabvufibhupaefbpvbavjafvdfah!@#$%^%$#@!@#$%^&*I(*&^%$#$RGYEHNIUHV)PS*GJ)U#GHGJ)(JSGwatchpenguin0^&T*FEOPY^EFBUVE&*GVDBH.
“OK EVERYONE TAKE A TWO DAY BREAK WE CAN THINK ABOUT THE DUNGEON LATTER!”
That was the most inefficient process I’ve have ever done in my life.
…
Later that day at night, two people were drinking.
Varvara said this to me with a small smirk on her face.
“I could’ve heated it up for you; it’s well within my powers”
I couldn’t even bother to think of anything witty.
“Fuck you too.”