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I'm Contaminated With No Hope Of Recovery
Chapter 68 - Verge Of Understanding

Chapter 68 - Verge Of Understanding

[You take a bite out of the seed, leaving slightly more than half remaining…]

Lem felt relieved when his simulated self immediately dropped the other part of the seed, ignoring the temptation to take another bite.

So easy.

In the last simulation, it had been much more of a struggle because he had wasted time trying to break the seed in half first.

This time he had bitten it directly, reducing the amount of time he spent resisting his urges.

[You immediately begin punching the air repeatedly with your [Nine Bull Fist], focusing on speed, and you are able to easily keep the energy at a manageable level.]

Lem focused on the sensations in his body, the cycle of damage and recovery.

[You feel a strange feeling come over your mind, and you feel the world come into clarity around you…

After a time, you no longer feel like the energy level is dangerous, so you consume the second half of the seed.

Another huge amount of spiritual energy enters your body, giving you a feeling of terror.]

Lem was unable to make any meaningful observation while his simulated self digested the first half of the seed, but he maintained his focus.

It only took one breakthrough for all his efforts to be worth something. On the other hand, the only way it would be certain that he had been wasting his time was if he gave up.

[You continue practicing the [Nine Bull Fist]. Your condition stabilizes…

After more than an hour, the spiritual energy within you settles to the point that you no longer have to practice the [Nine Bull Fist].

You turn and begin to travel to the northeast, intending to return to the harvesters and look for clues about Lang Town…]

Lem ruminated over what he observed.

Unlike other sessions, this time he had been close to finding a crucial detail.

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He thought through the motions of the [Nine Bull Fist], one movement after another.

There was something he was missing, something obvious.

He felt like he was on the verge of understanding a critical point.

Unfortunately, this feeling slowly faded.

[You see the clearing you passed by on the previous day…

You encounter a wolf-sized jade-eyed spider, but it runs away…

Night falls, but you are too energized to sleep. You stay awake, monitoring your surroundings…

You hear a noise. A wolf enters your field of view. When you look at it, it flees...]

[Day 8: Night passes without incident, and you continue traveling in a northeast direction. You still feel vigorous and alert from the consumption of the spiritual seed…]

Early in the morning, Lem suddenly realized what he had been on the cusp of discovering before. It all felt so obvious now.

The origin of the feeling of harmony.

The harmony came from the world.

The harmony also came from his body.

This was because his body was a part of the world.

It felt like a simple point, and in many ways it was, but it was far from intuitive. It was easy to view the world as separate from the body.

After all, most of his life was spent with tension between himself and his surroundings.

Threats such as beasts, dangerous plants, and evil beings all felt very antagonistic towards him. They felt like they were separate entities that he had to avoid.

From his perspective, the world was a hostile place that wanted to kill him.

Even opportunities, like spiritual herbs, and even spiritual energy, were things that he sought and tried to integrate. Why would he be integrating it if it was already part of him?

His entire experience grated against the feeling of being one with the world.

Would he have to run from beasts if they were already one with him?

Would he have to desperately pursue opportunities if they were already one with him?

This had influenced Lem’s thinking on a very fundamental basis. Most of the time, when he was practicing the [Nine Bull Fist], he was thinking that he was improving his abilities. Martial arts felt very personal to him.

However, this was not where the feeling of harmony originated. It was the very opposite!

The feeling of harmony came from giving up ownership of the attack.

It came from borrowing power from the world.

The very force that he was producing with the punch was not something that could be produced from his physical body.

How could his current body ever match up to that of a beast’s?

The force had to come from elsewhere.

It had to come from the outside, from a place that was filled with power and was far more mysterious and spiritual than his fleshy body.

The world was that very place, and he was already connected to it.

The harmony was the bridge that formed the connection!