Almost a year ago.

What could it be? What kind of illness did I catch? Instead of asking someone, I hide my unwellness from my family, as I have never gotten sick in my entire life, and the moment they may learn that I'm sick, they may come to the conclusion that my final days have arrived.

Maybe that's even the case. At some point my body will wane and it never felt as real as it feels today. Yes, these are my final days. I must have so many diseases that now my aging body can't keep it up anymore.

I always wanted to die on the battlefield. But I also never wanted to be defeated in a real fight. This sucks. Why am I dying like that? I always gave my best. I always fought to my fullest, and that's what the world is giving me!?

I'm the strongest! Nobody was ever able to defeat me! Causing me to retreat, sure! If there is no worth in a fight, there is no need to stick around. Yet, whenever I decided to fight, I won! I won't stand by it. I won't! Defeated by a disease!? Never!

That's it! I'll join the next battle! When I die, it'll be with a weapon in one hand, and the remains of an enemy in my others. Probably a head I tore off a neck!

...even I can tell that this is not how I really feel.

It's getting cold. My muscles spasm a bit. It's so cold. I never minded the cold, so why now? Why do I feel the desire for a blanket?

No, let's find the warmth of a woman. Yes! This will prove it! I'm not feeling cold, I just want to bang! That's it! Despite my age, my sex drive is still strong and there are several women, young and ripe, that want to have an unforgettable night with me!

Ahhhh... that hurt. That piercing pain in my heart.

―○●○―

The current day.

After Ken-kun laid on the bed and took Momo's medicine, he went back to sleep, but that just spawned a new conflict. Or to be more precise, Mirianne-san spawned it: “I should stay in the room, in case he needs something.”

I know an obsession when I see one―I have plenty myself. Yet while my research is actually very important and a gift to alfrkind, that one just wants to hump Ken-kun which may break all of his bones. I know how rough she is firsthand. “Mirianne-san, that's not a good idea.”

“Why!?”

“Because boning him while he's asleep is a form of rape.”

Yes, I like that reaction. “I--- I would never---”

“Erm... is that a joke, Ara?” Rine-kun asks very carefully. “I mean, I'm the one who should be with him anyway, as I'm his lover, so-”

“Katarine-san, you shouldn't be the one either. You already did enough today.”

“What do you mean?”

“Should we start with how you rearranged his pelvis an hour ago?”

“Ugh... That was an accident.”

“These happen too often. The only sensible choice is to have Momo take care of him.”

Mirianne-san's and Katarine-san's heads turn in unison towards the black-haired girl, who lifts her hands in defense: “Those are her words, not mine.”

Ignoring that disruption, I continue my case: “Momo is the most capable of all of us in terms of nursing. She can use medicine and magic, knows how to treat him, and doesn't seem to want to jump on him the next opportunity she gets.”

““...”” Both girls vying for Ken-kun's penis look carefully at Momo, before they both nod in agreement. Though I'm sure that they're dissatisfied, which is the basis of any compromise.

Momo puts on a smile, before saying: “Don't worry, I'm just treating his wounds.” Then she speaks the next words softly, probably betting that only me—the only person without a hearing disability in this hallway—can hear her: “Arako, next time we're alone, I'll pull on your ears until they bleed.” Yes, she certainly knows that I can hear her, and uses the knowledge to threaten me. Most likely because I didn't notice something. However, that's a problem for future-me.

The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

Present-me has other priorities, so I turn to the crazy girl after Momo has closed the door behind her. “Mirianne-san, is there a room I can take a nap in?” There is little to do until her mother is back, so I’ll just take the time to do what I can best: Sleep!

“But Ara, you can't just sleep.” Katarine-san, if you believe that, I'm shocked how little you know about me. “Come with us! I'm sure we can play with the children for a while.”

This gets me thinking. Usually, I would prefer to resume my research or get a nap before doing any physical activity, but we're talking about those children. They're just so adorable when they squeal in terror, and there is just so little time before they grow into the big-uddered, rough-shaped, and fat abominations called humans. Though to be fair, most human children are already fat, that's their genes' fault, I presume. “Fine.”

“Yay! Grekk, you--- where is he?”

She hasn't noticed. “He stayed behind at the foyer, muttering that he would wait for us outside.”

“Oh, silly Grekk. I guess, he thought it'd be impolite to enter the house with many?”

“I'm absolutely sure that he's very used to barging into houses with a lot of people.”

“You think? Well, he has lived long enough, I guess. Yet he's new to our party, so maybe he's a bit too shy? Perfect, we can get to know each other with some games as well!” Katarine-san, your inability to read between the lines is as valuable as a national treasure. “Let's get him. Come, Mirianne!” She grabs me and the crazy girl by our hands, seemingly dropping every discontent she had with the other human entirely.

Mirianne-san on the other hand: “Don't dra--- What is that grip!?” Yes, she also is about to break my hand in the process, but I learned to go with the flow when Katarine-san gets excited. Otherwise, she will beat me into submission.

The moment we exited the building, Katarine-san immediately finds Grekkun who leans on the wall with his eyes closed. How much I envy him! “Grekk!” Katarine-san shouts needlessly loud: “Come!”

The gray-haired human tilts his head, then turns it to the blond-haired girl: “Something wrong?”

“Yes, you're not with us!”

He scratches his head, then he straightens himself and answers: “If that's the case, sure. Where to go?”

“We want to play with the children.”

“Hey, I didn't say I want to-” Mirianne-san interjects.

It doesn't help, if the person you're talking to doesn't listen and abruptly interrupts your sentence: “Come with us, it'll be fun.”

“Alright, lass! Let's do it!” For someone who is old for a human, he certainly seems full of vigor.

Ten minutes later, we're all in the courtyard. The game is an alteration to tag, called 'Bandits and Mercenaries'. The one who is 'it' is a royal knight, who slays the bandits by touching them. The slain bandits have to stay still on the ground until the game ends. However, a bandit can go to one of the corpses and touch it, which 'pilfers' the corpse. The bandit and the corpse can then walk hand to hand to a specific location—in our case a bench—and if the corpse is brought there, the corpse is traded for a mercenary. Mercenaries can be slain like bandits, but then leave the game entirely. If there are more mercenaries on the field than bandits, however, the bandits win.

It's needlessly complicated and has a questionable story, but I like it.

As a princess, Katarine-san is the knight of the first game. The other players are Grekkun, Mirianne, ten of the children, and myself. “Are you ready?” Katarine-san asks while we're running.

“““““““““YES!!!”””””””””” Like a choir, how adorable.

“Then here I come!” Katarine-san uses [Swishstride] to move within an eye blink and tags three children almost immediately. “I got you!” She smiles as she uses the unfair advantage called [Skills].

I feel a bit proud of her, but I better start with the preparations. “[Entangle]!” I let the plants around a cluster of players grow to capture them.

“““HIIIIII!!!””” Like a terrorized crowd, how adorable.

“What's that for, elf!” Comes from the entangled Mirianne-san.

“Fufu, you don't realize our win condition!” My declaration causes Katarine-san to stop tagging the entangled and listen for a moment: “To win, we need to have more mercenaries than bandits. Which means, we need mercenaries first and that means, we need to sacrifice the seven weakest of us to make them mercenaries.”

“Oooh! That's smart!” Katarine-san admires how I deconstructed the game immediately. “Then I must slay the bandits before they get pilfered.” She tags all of the entangled, and then suddenly makes the jump towards me.

However, I'm prepared. I already switch to [Acrobat] and jump on the closest roof. “Hey,” one of the children says: “the roofs are unfair!” Small human, I do it for victory.

Also, it doesn't help against Katarine-san, who jumps at a close tree to spring from it onto the roof. Yet I jump down again, as an [Acrobat] I'm agile and I can see every movement Katarine-san does, so as long as it's avoiding her, I will manage and buy enough time for the rest to convert the corpses into mercenaries.

Left, right, right, left, this is more akin to a dance than me running backwards. I can see clearly where her hands are, this is almost too easy. “Katarine-san, it see-urgh” What I didn't consider before is that Katarine-san isn't exactly what I'd call a normal alfr—or in her case, a normal human—who spontaneously decided to just be faster than me and her suddenly accelerating arm hits me. I feel the pain. This isn't a tag, this is a stab!

The force throws me backwards, and I make a Ken-kun—which means, I tumble gruntingly along the ground. This hurts about as much as it looks.

“Urgh... aaaahhhh...” I hold my chest that was 'tagged' while rolling myself to a ball.

“Wow! Look at her!” A child exclaims while pointing at me. “She takes it very seriously being slain.”

Ahem, I'm not even trying.