“So, you're on the way to Zethtrin as well?”

“Affirmative,” Ara-san slips that information. Why, Ara-san!? This geezer is suspicious as hell! You should know better!

“I see. What a coincidence!” The geezer chuckles while drinking some beer.

“Weren't you supposed to be a beggar?” I ask. “Can you even afford your drink? We're not paying it, just to be clear.”

“Don't be a miser, Red Ranger.”

“Yes, Kenta-kun.”

“Why are you taking his side, Ara-san!?”

“He's funny.”

“Yeah, I'm funny!”

Seriously, why have the two of them suddenly hit off so well!? It wasn't like this the first time they met, there it was... yes, Rine. I look at the girl in question, who looks at the self-proclaimed traveler while frowning. “Hey Rine, what's wrong?”

“I don't know... It feels like entangled yarn inside of me.” OK, what kind of description is that?

“Just take it one step at a time.” This non-descriptive advice is all I can give here. I look at Kyou-san, who is paying attention to the conversation between Ara-san and the geezer. She smiles, but I know that behind this facade, she's scheming something.

The dishes of the girls are served and all of them start eating. “Hey, Red Ranger.”

“Would you stop calling me that?” I'm wanted in some countries already!

“Why? It's a great name. Let me show you! HEY GUYS!” The geezer suddenly yells to the whole room. “THE LAD HERE IS THE RED RANGER!” Hey, I asked you to exactly don't do that!

A second of silence, then a few people stand up, all of them buffed people who look like bounty hunters or mercenaries. They all look at me, seizing me up. I glare back at them, then one speaks: “Is it true? You're the Red Ranger?”

Great, now they're all here to capture me, catching me for being a sinner or a criminal, it doesn't matter in the end. “No.” So lying it is.

All of them look... strange, I don't know what to make out of their expression. “I see.” Why is he hanging his head? Wait, all of them do the same while they return to their seats.

“Why did you do it, lad?”

“Yes, Kenta,” Rine endorses this question, “they were looking forward meeting you.”

...are you fucking serious? You want to tell me that all of them were fanboys who wished to fawn over me because of what Kyou-san unleashed? Even if that's the case... “Why should I care?”

“...but!” The geezer starts: “You have a good name. Why wouldn't you want to endorse it?”

“What good is that name?” I hate being surrounded by people like an animal in a zoo. Also, all this superficial attention is worth nothing. I've rather have nobody look into my direction instead of being praised by everyone in such a skin-deep way, especially for things I didn't do. I don't need them to know that I'm good, thank you. I also don't need them to distribute a name that's wanted, double thank you.

“...” The geezer looks like he wants to say something, but holds back. “I see, so you really don't care at all. I'll still tell your stories, bleh!” There are lots of things I never needed to see in my life, but this is the moment I realize that seeing an old man sticking out his tongue is on the list as well.

I hear Rine whispering to Kyou-san. “Are they getting along or not?”

“He, yes, Ken, no.” I can't agree more.

The geezer continues his conversation with Ara-san: “Why are you even heading to Zethtrin?”

“I’d like to look for the author Lezzard Limuur.”

“Who is that?” Exactly my question.

“He wrote 'Burning Fangs.'”

“What's that?”

“A novel.”

“A book?”

“A book that tells a story.”

“Ah, these kinds. I can barely read, so I don't know books well.”

“I could give you some.”

“As a present?”

“For rent with an interest rate of 300% per week.”

“Inte-what?”

“It means that you'll pay me more if you don't return it within a week.”

“Thanks for the offer, but it's not like- wait, why don't we go to Zethtrin together?”

I interrupt the conversation: “No.”

“We're heading into the same direction, so-”

“No.”

“Come on, Red Ra-”

“No.”

Let's face it, having someone else join us would be inherently stupid. In the end, I count as a sinner to this world, and when there are too many sinners within a species, it means genocide. I didn't invent it, it's what stands in the Divine Laws! You can't be married to more than one spouse. The curse didn't care, I didn't volunteer either, but this is the gist. The Crusaders are already on my trail, but somehow Kyou-san was capable of neutralizing my public image with a ridiculous lie. However, having someone in our party that's not part of it, someone who can find out and report it is an unnecessary risk.

I look at Kyou-san, who silently agrees with me, Rine cocks her head, maybe she thinks about why, but she's also not arguing about my decision. “We're an exclusive club,” Ara-san explains joyfully: “There are several conditions to join us. For starters, you'd need to shave or do you see anyone here with a beard?”

“But I like my beard!”

“You're also not within our age expectations.”

“I'm too old?”

“In addition to being too young. You have to be under twenty or above a hundred years old.”

“You're just bullying me.”

“Exactly. It doesn't change the decision though, we'll keep to ourselves for now.”

The geezer chuckles again: “Well, thought so. Youngsters like to keep to themselves, I get it. Would have been nice to have someone who could face the monsters in my stead, but you're doing your thing at your pace. However, I'll take some compensation.” His hand snatches the bread from Ara-san's bowl and he shoves it into his mouth, even though it's so large that it still sticks out: “Hwaush shatt!”

“[Freeze]!” Is she freezing the bread inside his mouth!?

“GGGGGEEEH!” Despite seeming shocked for a moment, he chunks down the bread: “I've won!”

“Have you? We'll see later.” ...eating this freezing bread will definitely upset the geezer's stomach and she knows it.

? There is a change in the surrounding sounds. I activate [Pitch] and can hear someone climbing a small set of stairs. I look in that direction, with the old man and many people here, I didn't immediately notice the small stage on the other side. There is someone, a human, who has a harp ready... well, a musician. I guess we'll get some entertainment, it's not that unusual with roadside inns, as this way the musicians can usually room for free while getting some gratuities.

Entertainment in a fantasy world just sucks in general. No games, no movies, almost no theaters, too few libraries and novels, whenever you want to have entertainment, you need to pay a sum. One of the few exceptions is music, as musicians without exceptional talent use their art for cheap. They just try to get enough for bed and food with some coins as a bonus, but in the end, this is the harsh truth of the entertainment world in its finest: Only a few selected can make a proper living using their art and just a fraction of those will ever become wealthy.

I just hope that this musician won't suck, music is already bad enough here. I mean, he is just a single harpist, so I don't need to expect anything from the music I can hear at home by opening YouTube.

“Dear guests,” the musician starts in a loud voice and most people shut up. “Some of you have surely heard of me, I'm Incubarius, the Dream Dancer, as my music will dance in your heads in tonight's dreams. Those who have never heard of me, don't worry, you'll remember me after this evening.” His fingers roam over the strings of his harp and some pleasant chords are heard. “I've seen it all, the vastness of the Freshwater Sea, the fiery mountains of Feuerberg, the depths of the stout folk, the highs of the winged folk, I even took a sneak inside an alfr forest. I sure wish I hadn't.” A snicker comes from the audience, Ara-san, however, snorts. The harpist starts playing his harp, always changing the tune fitting to his words: “But aside from burned underwear, I also collected the stories and melodies of all over the continent and sometimes even beyond it. Funny stories, sad stories, stories about magic, stories about the mundane, stories of commoners, stories of nobles, stories of myths and dreams, stories of history. I collected them all, refined them for you, my dear audience, as while most of them are interesting to know, they're also boring to hear.” The musician is looking at each of the people in the taproom. “Dear husbands, make sure to look after your wives, as whenever I play, the women fall to my feet.” He laughs at his own words, though I don't have the feeling that the men around here take it as a joke. “As we're in the Wildlands, let's start 'The Settlers' Follies.'”

This book is hosted on another platform. Read the official version and support the author's work.

He starts singing a song with a lively tune, many people fell into the song, same goes for Rine and the geezer after a while for the refrain. Still, as heroes from other worlds, the rest of us have a problem: We hear two lyrics at once, one that only matches the content somehow but is more in line with the melody, like when a translator is translating a song for a movie or game. The other one is a machine translation that is much more accurate but doesn't care if it fits the meter.

The content of the song? Mostly about how foolish people tried to conquer and cultivate land that's not fertile enough while monsters are destroying their settlements and fields. It's much longer and more detailed than that, but do you really need to know that someone set a trap that would tip a bucket full of water out on a monster, just to realize that the monster can go around the trigger and was therefore eaten? Really, every single person in this song was an idiot!

After a while, the musician starts to observe Rine, smiling at her... hey! I have to agree, Rine has a good singing voice, but what's that jerk up to!?

The song ends, and the musician starts talking again: “Thanks for your support, dear listeners. One voice impressed be especially. You there, blonde beauty,” he points at Rine, “May I know your name?”

Rine looks around, as she does not realize that she's meant. “Me? I'm Rine.”

“Rine, your voice is beautiful. Are you a bard as well by chance?”

“No.”

“Ah well, you may still become one. Is the young man beside you with you?”

“You mean Kenta?” Don't give my name so freely!

“Kenta... interesting name. Are you his lover?”

“Erm... ah, yes, I am.” ...at the most inappropriate times, Rine remembers the wrong things. In Goldbrunn, we used a cover-story, that Kyou-san is my sister, while Rine is my lover to give people an easy-to-believe story of why I'm traveling as the sole male with three girls. Yes, technically, it also fits here, but...

“Ah, I see!” The geezer says to me in a low voice. “That's why! You did it!” Do you mean I and Rine!? No, we didn't... well, let him believe what he wants. Maybe he'll stop his side-comments. “You're so shy, lad!” What he wants... There are a bunch of reasons why I shouldn't hit him though it's what I want.

The bard speaks in a sad voice: “What a tragedy! My poor heart is almost broken, but who knows what the evening will bring. However, I need a bit of melancholy to digest these shocking news... 'The Weather will never care!'”

Another song, one which somehow touches my heart a bit. It's about mourning, a person who locks themselves at home, looking at the weather which just does whatever it wants despite it feels like the world is ending. The rain is welcome, the storms are like the turmoil in their soul. However, then comes the sun, but instead of a sign of improvement, it grows more and more annoying. The sun shines like it doesn't care about all the sadness. Then the mourning person realizes that the world really doesn't care, it just goes on like nothing happened.

“It doesn’t matter what you want,

it doesn’t matter how you fare,

no matter how strong your bond,

the weather will never care...”

There is no relief at the end, nothing that lifts the feeling, it just ends with this chorus. The taproom is quiet, then some people start knocking on their tables, showing their approval. “Thank you! Thank you! With every loss, there is change, and with every change, there will be new meetings. All you lovers, be prepared to cuddle a bit. Except you, Kenta, you don’t deserve it.” ...would it be inappropriate to just go to him and punch him in the face? “‘Your Heart will live Forever.’”

The sappy tune hits the right notes of nauseating tenderness. Definitely not my kind of music, a love song in its finest. I look at Ara-san, who decided to sleep on the table at this point, while Kyou-san and Rine listen to it with moist eyes. The geezer, however, looks like he’s thinking about something.

Another round of applause comes at the end, and the musician bows to the audience: “Thank you, thank you. I’m happy to see that Kenta has heeded my warning, this might be my chance, right?” Laughs are echoing in the taproom.

...just stay calm, he’s just like some low-level comedian who tries to make the people laugh at my expense. Ignore it, I can also just go upstairs, there is no reason to stay here.

However, the shitty guy makes a dick move. “Rine, you may have noticed my feelings for you, and you may have felt some love for me as well. Now I want to devote my next song to you. To you and your next ex-lover Kenta.” ...WHAT!?

“Ex-lover!?” Even Rine is shocked, as Kyou-san is clearly suppressing a burst of laughter. Ara-san looks up, her face is as hard to read as always, the geezer however, just laughs out loud without a hint of delicacy.

(song inspired by Eure Mütter “Ein schönes Paar”)

“Have you been ever told that you’re the perfect match?

Well, ‘perfect’ stretches it quite a bit.

Let me say this to you, Rine, while you’re a real catch

he’s rather the complete opposite.

Because if I called him perfect here, everything would fall apart,

it would be nothing but a big fat lie.

Though he does his best to be not as appealing as a fart,

we’re all thinking that he’d better die.

Yet you, my dear Rine, made Kenta your lover,

I’m wondering how he was capable of such a feat.

The reason might be, now that I think it over,

the truth of the saying that is: Extremes meet.

Because you, Rine, are beauty beyond ev’ry compare,

while Kenta’s face looks like the gods didn’t care.

With you I like to dance, I want to stab him with a lance,

you’re like an edifice, while he’s just a mud fence.

You are a princess, he’s a tramp, you’re a regular, he’s a temp,

you’re the soap, he’s the dirt, you’re the heal, while he’s the hurt.

You’re the shoe, he’s the boot, you're the crown, he’s the root,

you’re the audience while he’s an angry moot.

You’re as sparkly as the stars, he’s as pale as the mist,

you’re like a gentle touch, while he’s a brutal fist.

He’s the night, you are the sun, he stale bread and you a bun,

he’s the displeasure and you are all the fun.

While with about every line, people start laughing like crazy, I feel how the anger is welling up bit by bit. I know that this is just a joke at my expense, that I shouldn’t take it personally, but seriously, this is going too far!

The worst are the ones who sit at my table, though. Kyou-san is laughing so hard that she’s about to suffocate, the geezer yells without any words to show his excitement, Ara-san started to note down the rhymes as they come.

Rine looks at me, showing how she doesn’t know how to deal with this, her eyes of pity are even worse than the rest!

The musician continues, however:

“You’re the jacket, he’s the coat, you the ship, while he’s the boat,

he’s fractured, you’re whole, you’re diamond, he’s coal.

He’s the disease, you’re the cure, he’s infested, you’re pure,

you’re the safety-space, while he’s insecure.

Though I have to tell you, folk, before I go to get a gulp,

Kenta, this is just a joke, so please don’t beat me to a pulp.

I don’t want to be a bother, so I say this to you sober:

You are both, in fact, meant to each other.

…

minus Kenta.”

With the last words, a wave of applause and bawling fills the room, though it’s almost inaudibly for me, as my enraged heartbeat is drowning this sound in my ears.

Oh, this isn’t supposed to be so bad, you say? Remember: Whenever I listen to a song, I have two versions in my head at the same time, one that fits the melody, one that’s a pure translation. With this song-format, almost nothing from the original text made it to the melodic version, therefore I had twice the share of insults!

It’d be so easy to go to the stage and snap that asshole’s neck, but what then? So I opt for another strategy, one much less striking, but most likely better for everyone involved. “Kenta?” Rine looks at me concerned, while I stand up slowly. I guess my movements tell her that I’m about to burst.

Yet I still have the self-control to turn away and walk to the door. “Oh, Kenta!” The musician says with a smirk: “Can’t you handle it?”

I ignore him, as anything I might do will end up killing that guy. I don’t care what others think of me, but that doesn’t mean that I can endure such an onslaught of insults.

I open the door outside, there are already first drops... the storm is coming, while I might find another shelter, I don’t have my backpack on me, so it’ll end miserably. So I close it again and go upstairs to our room.

...of course, the girls have locked it and still have the key. This being proper procedure doesn’t make it better at all... Should I go outside after all? Maybe I can just scream a bit and return? The more I think, the more my feelings are reined in, though I still want to be furious!

… “Seriously, why are you even trying to be silent at this point?” I turn around to the stairs. Kyou-san, Rine, and Ara-san are there. They tried to sneak up the stairs despite my good senses. Kyou-san now stands tall, folding her arms: “Do you want to talk?” She skips the ‘Are you alright’ question, as she knows I’m not.

I don’t answer her, though. I don’t want to talk about it, because it’s childish to feel that way. Still, I can’t help but want to cave in that bastard's head. So I just glare at Kyou-san, who, in return, shrugs her shoulders as if she has expected it.

“Kenta,” Rine tries, and I can already say that this will be a disaster: “I don’t know what he was talking about, I don’t like him at all and he was super-mean! We should talk to him.” Of course, she took everything at face’s value.

“Phew...” So I sigh and just shake my head.

“Kenta-kun,” here is the final challenger. “We will go into the room and do something nice. I think I have recreated your stats.”

“...What are you talking about?”

“With the new data I got from the swamps, I’m confident that I can finally predict our stat-growth with each level and, therefore, also do it in reverse, calculating your base stats.”

“... let’s go inside.”

Ara-san opens her hands and Kyou-san gives her the key to the room. Then the alfr girl opens the door and lets me in. I enter the room, but she lingered at the door, looking at the girls: “I win.” With this statement, she closes the door behind her.

“...did you made a bet with them?”

“No, I just wanted to point something out.”

“What?”

“They’ll know. I don’t.”

“...does that mean that you just said this to make them think about what it means!?”

“Exactly.” OK, this is kinda sadistic, but on the other hand, it’s totally something Ara-san would do, it’s the little prank that takes almost no effort.