Chapter 1 – My confession went weird
Hi, I’m Katsuragi Kenta, an invalid former highschooler, now hero, from Japan. I’m still probably 16 years old, and my whole life is a multitude of messes and holes that I and other people keep digging.
Where do I begin to explain? Let’s start with back when something in my life went somehow right. I used to be a gamer, basically doing the minimum for school—and still getting rather good grades—and spending my whole time gaming. A bit round, rather unpopular in class, but to be honest, as basically everyone in my class was a jerk, not being talked to was more of a plus.
Then suddenly my whole class—including the two teachers—was summoned into a fantasy world during homeroom. This summoning process also made us into heroes, which changed greatly how our minds and bodies function.
Heroes are insanely sturdy. I can basically force my body to do as I like, even if it’s hurt or exhausted, as long as it’s physically possible. It also heals much faster, medicines, drugs, and such work immediately, and while there is a limit, it’s far beyond anything that most people can imagine.
In addition to that, we have game-like stats, such as [Levels], [Attributes], and [Abilities]. We can have up to four [Classes] that even alter our bodies to match them, like when I’m in [Pikeman] I get an increase in muscle mass and lose basically all of my body-fat. Each [Class] also changes the [Attributes] and the [Abilities] we have access to.
This also influences our minds. As a [Pikeman] I can endure pain much more easily and are more confident taking danger head on, while my [Ranger]-class makes me think like a hunter, looking for weaknesses and propels me to avoid danger rather than to face it.
Other general mind-alterations encompass me not being able to feel homesick and that even my mental fortitude is much greater than I assume should be the case. Heroes just keep going.
So being a hero isn’t half-bad, and as a gamer I can get some mileage out of it, though there are still many secrets to the hero-system and some things just don’t work like they would in a game. For example, double [Strength] doesn’t give me double the lifting capacity. I also still definitely feel pain. In addition, the world itself doesn’t seem to work on game-logic at all.
This leads us to the real shitty part: This world! As you can imagine, the native people just call it the world, and it doesn’t seem to have a proper name. There are monsters, strange animals, several human-like species, and strange human-like people that are literal monsters! There is magic, there are gods, there are so many ways to get killed, and as it’s medieval, there are no games at all, nor electricity, compasses don’t work like they should, and if I weren’t a hero, I’d die within hours because the air lacks the necessary oxygen to survive, and I was able to learn that first-hand! I hate this world!
Also, while I love RPGs with fantasy settings, I loathe being the one who lives in them. I just realized how little I know about stuff like power-scaling in this world, and the only way to return home I know is to fulfill the quest that we got when we were summoned: To kill the demon king!
Which is super far away from the top of my priorities at the moment, because of the next shitty thing that happened to me! While I was leveling for myself, I used a rather reckless method to increase my level, which was only possible by looking for and selling treasures and valuable monster parts.
While the hero-system can identify items and see their worth, the rule is: When you can equip it, you also have to equip it to identify it. This led me to the first magic item I’ve ever seen that happened to be in a rather unremarkable cave, and while it seemed well crafted, it still appeared to be just made out of copper. It’s a cursed ring that looks like a lion and it’s still on my ring finger to this day, and if the curse is active, it slowly kills me by decreasing my Max SP (Stamina Points).
Later I found out that this cursed ring has another side: It marries me to other people if certain conditions are met. By being close to my wives the curse-part doesn’t only go dormant, but also grants us certain benefits, like a whole new system that uses WP (Wedding Points) that can be farmed by holding hands, feeding each other, stuff like that, which then can be spent to power us up in new ways.
Yet the ring also fucks with our minds by giving us feelings for each other. That makes it super hard to discern which feelings are genuine and which are produced by the ring.
I have three wives. The first one is the former president of my class, Momokawa Kyou. A beautiful, yet two-faced girl who used to manipulate everyone in school to look good, make herself popular, and treat people like me as trash. Since we’re stuck together in this fantasy world though, I’ve also started to think of her as my worst enemy and yet a very reliable ally. One that may tackle problems in a totally different way than me, but for now I try my best to trust her.
My second wife is Katarine von Stolzherz, also known as Rine. She’s the former crown-princess of Feuerberg, the kingdom that summoned us to fight against the demons that they’re at war with. She’s very genuine, not the sharpest tool in the shed, and overly emotional. She’s also a massacre machine, though her instructor is much worse.
My final wife isn’t even human. It’s an alfr-girl called Ara’ainn. She may be the most human alfr in existence, yet it still means that she’s basically forever stuck in puberty, often immature, and loves to get on our nerves and play pranks on others. She’s also intelligent, well-versed, and lazy as hell. Additionally, she’s the only friend I have in this world. We just get along, though the curse also fucks us up physically by giving us sexual attraction to each other. It gives her a human-like menstrual cycle, and if we touch each other in certain ways, we get the erogenous zones of the other species for a limited time.
To lift the curse, we want to get to Zethtrin, a big city with a big church and even some people able to use the curse-heavy [Black Magic]. As the former attempt in Feuerberg failed miserably, and with Rine being a runaway princess, it didn’t seem like a good option to try there for some time.
Yesterday, I had the chance to surrender to her instructor, who came to take her back, and get another decurse-attempt there and in an action that makes half of me agonize in pure regret I decided to let Rine make her decision… Let’s say that we came to an understanding.
Before that fateful decision and the duel that followed it, which awakened powers within Rine only the enemy side suspected and knew about, I fell down a cliff, and got severely hurt. I was kinda treated on a farmstead until Ara-san fetched me and we recruited someone new to our party for our rescue attempt: Grekk-jiisan.
We met Jii-san two times before, and he’s also heading to Zethtrin, though I don’t know why. I suspect it’s about the so-called ‘games’ that will be held there. Even though he’s a gray-haired old man, he seems to be a somewhat capable warrior as he was able to totally block out Meldorn—my own mentor that accompanied Rine’s—while I lost mercilessly to him.
To be honest, the last few days I spent mostly sleeping, so I guess Ara-san knows a lot more than I do about Jii-san. I don’t trust him, but he helped us and only asked us to accompany him until Zethtrin. He confessed earlier that he may be strong, but age makes it hard for him to fight continuously.
Yay, another glass cannon like Rine. Exactly what we needed! I’m being sarcastic here.
Yet it currently helps to have another male in the party, as my body is in grave shape. My only unbroken limb is my left arm, my body is a single bruise, and I may even have some permanent brain-damage. Kyou-san, who is our healer, learned a new spell that may patch me up, but it seems to be dangerous, so she wants to wait until I’m better. Otherwise, it may kill me and her by extension…
Is there something else? Well, one thing…
Since yesterday, my weird relationship with the girls got a whole lot weirder.
Because of all the stuff yesterday and Rine, who has been full of doubt, I bet on her still lingering feelings for me—the fake feelings the curse gave her—and kissed her. I feel really bad about it, as this represents something I don’t want to do with people: Using them and their positive feelings for me.
Aside from that, this may have also closed the path of self-awareness Rine was actually treading. The many conflicting feelings I have and had are building up, making me remember the exact moment yesterday and how things got weird…
―○●○―
“Rine. Go out with me.” The moment I speak these words, I feel how the entirety of my inner emotions ties itself to a knot. There is a lot going on, and while I doubt that I’m ready for it, I also know that it’s the right—or rather least wrong—thing to do.
She’s sitting right in front of me in the cart we have borrowed from the farmstead that took care of me for maybe a day. She’s absolutely exhausted by her earlier feat, her battle with Gottfried, while I just can’t walk extended periods of time.
My words cause her to turn her eyes into the upper left corners first, as if she’s wondering what I mean, then suddenly she gapes and blushes, then she blinks, then she closes her eyes for a moment, and finally, her blush vanishes and she looks firmly into my eyes: “Do you love me?”
I avoid her stare for a moment, trying to not get pinned down on an answer without giving it any thought. Of course, the whole party stopped whatever they were doing to watch and listen. Kyou-san looks at Rine and me as if we’ve just decided to start a cult to worship Uncle Jam, the creator of Anpanman, as our true lord and savior. While Ara-san’s physical reaction is just a light twitch of her ears, I can tell that she’s asking herself what she has missed that led to this situation. Jii-san claps his hands, swooning like a maiden in love, which irritates me immensely! Well, of course they’re interested! Dammit!
Stolen novel; please report.
Back to Rine’s question. I decide to answer truthfully: “I don’t know.”
“So you ask me, because you kissed me?” Her face reddens again, but she’s often honest to a fault and not embarrassed to show affection. I guess just remembering it now makes her blush.
I guess remembering it also makes me blush. I can definitely feel my face heating up. Weird, though it also may be just a side-effect of me scraping at the border of being broken which definitely makes me feel a lot of weird feelings all over my body now and then.
Rine continues, as I hesitate with my answer: “Kenta, if you ask me out because you’re feeling guilty, then I don’t want to have any of that.”
“…it’s not just that. How can I say…” I try my best to unknot my inner turmoil. Fragments of thoughts I had here and there assault my mind, and while some of them sound good, I don’t know if they truly are: “Rine, I’m really bad with love stuff.”
While I may not look at Kyou-san, I still notice the ‘No kidding’ in her eyes, drilling into the side of my head.
On the other hand, Rine smiles: “It’s not complicated, Kenta.”
“It is.”
“Come on. You can hear love in songs and stories. You can see love by watching your parents. The love they gave you, the love you feel for your siblings, all these wonderful feelings. It’s as easy as that, Kenta.”
“It isn’t. I have no siblings, and my parents? Rine, my parents met through a matchmaker and I haven’t seen them even having something remotely called a conversation with each other for years! My parents don’t love me, they were just expected to be married and have a child.” It’s not like I blame them— well, I do so secretly, I guess. “I mean, they both have different bedrooms, and I thought it was normal for a married couple for a long time! I don’t proclaim that they dislike each other, but… love is not what I would call it.”
“You told me they get along!”
“Not exactly, I said I get along with my parents. I mean, they also do get along with each other, it’s convenient and such, but would you say ‘get along’ to describe people loving each other?”
“Ah…” She bows forward, still visibly exhausted, and reaches out for my hand, only to stop, seeing how my right hand is basically a blob barely holding shape, while I need my other arm to keep myself upright. So she gently puts her hand on my knee. “You never told me…”
Of course I didn’t. I’m not a whiner who makes a big deal of my own problems. I mean, there are so many people worse off than me. “Let’s say for now, that I’m an absolute noob with something like romance.” For a moment, I feel an urge to vomit, I cough violently which sets up explosions of pain inside my body and mind.
““[Heal]!”” Rine and Kyou-san cast their spell at the same time, and the pain eases a bit, allowing me to regain my breathing, but I feel ravaged.
“Th-thanks…” I return while holding in more coughs. “Phew… Rine, it doesn’t mean that I don’t love you—I just don’t know. When I look at you, I have all these strange emotions I can’t name. What I more or less figured out is that I find you attractive. That while you drive me nuts at times, I somehow end up thinking fondly of it, and that I don’t want you to go away.”
“So you love me, after all?”
OK, what do I want? Fall sideways because I use my left arm or squirm in pain because I use my right one? Whichever it will be, I need to do a facepalm! I mean, I just explained that!
Ara-san comes to the rescue by taking over my part: “He doesn’t know. Taking the curse into account and how it influences his feelings, Kenta-kun is very confused.” Don’t remind me of that crap.
“Then why is he asking Rine-chan out?” Kyou-san brings up the next way-too-good-but-inconvenient question.
“Sometimes you need to be with someone to learn if you love that person.” Jii-san, I’m surprised! That’s actually a very good point.
“Ken,” Kyou-san shoves the life-experience Jii-san showed aside like an annoying fly: “If it’s about the curse, then it’s easy, no? Just compare your feelings towards us to Rine-chan’s and if they’re different, then it’s not just the curse.”
Don’t make me do that. “Phew… then why don’t you use [Empathy] and figure it out yourself, if you’re such an expert in love.”
For a second, Kyou-san may have taken my invitation—one I didn’t think thoroughly about. “You know that I can’t filter it yet. I would most likely only feel your pain.” I also didn’t think of that, but I have little problem letting her believe that I did.
“Kenta,” Rine speaks up as if she’s about to give her final verdict: “You’re thinking too much again. So I have an idea… Kenta, I love you.”
I feel a stabbing pain, which has nothing to do with my physical condition. Then comes sadness, and a chill running over my whole body, and while my limbs begin to surrender to the numbing cold, a scorching heat rises from my chest.
Nodding to my reaction, Rine declares: “Alright. I’ll go out with you.” I blink, as I didn’t expect that answer at this point, “Under some conditions, that is.”
…what!?
I mean, first I expected that Rine would cheer in joy, start deteriorating her mind again, and become an absolutely clingy girlfriend. When she started questioning me, I expected her to decline and that it’d take weeks to make it less awkward. Now she accepts, but only with conditions?
Seriously, I’ll never get this girl.
“First,” Rine starts by lifting her index finger, “Kenta, I love you. That’s true, be it because of the curse or not. So if we break it and we find out that we don’t feel like it anymore, we will break up. Even if the curse makes us love each other, it doesn’t change that these feelings are true at this moment. If it ends, it will end, and there will be nothing to blame, and it will become just a fond memory of past love. Understood?”
…no?!
I mean, if the curse gives us these feelings, then they’re obviously fake, right? I mean, it’s not like I wasn’t prepared to somewhat deceive her to at least make her believe to be happy for a while, but… I mean… What exactly is she even trying to accomplish!? “But if the curse-”
“Shhh,” she silences me without any force, yet strangely final: “Even if the curse makes us feel that way, I’d rather act upon these feelings, but I don’t want to regret it either. I want to have both. Maybe you love me and are just insecure because of the curse. If that’s so, then we’ll just continue going out even after we break it. If not, then we can be happy for the time we had and just become friends instead. Let’s take both!”
OK, I’m utterly confused. Whether it’s Rine’s usually happy-go-lucky attitude or a profound wisdom that I lack, she attained it while I wasn’t watching. Yet thinking about it, it makes the kind of strange sense only reality can have. “…phew… fine. What’s the next condition?”
“Second,” she lifts her middle finger as well, “we will do our best to be a couple, yet we also won’t loiter around more than necessary to break the curse. I’m sure we may falter on our own, but we need to remind each other. That’s also what a couple is supposed to do.”
“…alright.” The hesitation doesn’t stem from the motion to extend the relationship as much as possible, but because of the couple-part. “Just don’t expect too much. Like I said, I suck at love.”
“Un. That’s fine, we’ll find our balance. I may get a bit overboard, as I can only copy the people around me. So while I’d like it if you indulge me a bit, I also want you to voice your opinion when it’s too much.”
“Sure.”
“Now to the most important one: Third!” The emphasis she puts into this and the force with which she pulls up her ring finger makes me almost flinch, but the bracing only makes me squirm in pain: “If Kyou or Ara asks you out, please put some real consideration into it.”
“““What!?””” Kyou-san, Ara-san, and I shout in disbelief, and while I recover from another pain-attack, which is quickly [Heal]ed, Jii-san laughs at the spectacle.
Kyou-san looks at Rine as if she had just suggested her to join a polygamous relationship… which she basically had: “Rine-chan, what makes you-” A single glance from Rine’s fire-eyes show how earnest she is about this request, which silences Kyou-san.
“Katarine-san, you may have noticed that he’s a human, and I-” Same goes for Ara-san, whose eyes are widened a little bit, which shows how perplexed she is.
“Kyou, Ara. I love you too. I held back these feelings for Kenta only for a while, and it hurt so much. I don’t want that for you. Same goes for Kenta. If Kenta wants to go out with any of you, please think about it. Don’t use me as an excuse to not face your own feelings and dilemmas. We’re all wed to Kenta anyway, and I never had a problem with the thought of the two of you being in love with him. On the contrary, I would feel bad if you hold back these feelings, because they’re wonderful and I want you to be happy. Just because Kenta asked me out first, it doesn’t mean that I’m the winner or something of the sort. I also think that with all of us together, it’d be fun. With the two of you, it’d be not sharing happiness, but multiplying it.” I feel like I heard these words before… or at least something similar. “But that’s me and I want to respect your choice there too. However,” she turns to me again, “I ask Kenta to be open about it, if possible. Do you dislike those two?”
“Erm… no.” Is this the right answer? This is one of my most unprepared moments of my life, and that’s after the whole Gottfried-shitshow.
“Great! Then you accept, right?” I’m pretty used to seeing happy, yet terrifying smiles on Kyou-san, but the fact that Rine’s smile right now doesn’t have any ill intent behind somehow makes it even more threatening.
“I… guess?” For a traitorous second I remember several dreams and fantasies I had with the three of them, which were absolutely R-rated, but logically speaking—nevermind, logic isn’t applicable here in any way.
“What about me?” Jii-san suddenly asks Rine.
“What do you mean?”
“What if I develop feelings for Ken-kun?” Why is he calling me like that!? And why this strange question which gives me goosebumps!?
“Hm… sorry, Grekk. Currently, I’d have problems with someone I don’t know well being with Kenta, too. But… I guess, if Kenta and you really feel like that towards each other, it’d be selfish to not allow that love to bloom.”
“Great!”
“Do—argh!!!” I wanted to say: ‘Don’t just assume shit like that!’ but like always, tensing up even a bit causes horrible pain. After some moments of agony, I calm myself down to press a “Rine, he and I are men, for fuck’s sake!” through my tooth spaces.
“But if two people love each other, I don’t think that matters? I mean, maybe Grekk just likes men?”
Jii-san himself smiles: “I don’t know yet. I mean, I was my whole life with women, got kids, and such. Yet maybe it’s time to try something new.”
“Fufufu…” Ara-san laughs out loud, and I hope she’s with her assumption of him just joking around.
Kyou-san sighs and I can hear her mumble: “Why did we accept him again?” Because he’s somewhat strong, helped us in a tight spot, and it’s only until Zethtrin. But I can feel you, Kyou-san, I think he and Ara-san together might crush my sanity eventually…
Time to get back on track. “Phew… now that’s all done-”
“It’s not.” Rine immediately interrupts me and I notice that she still has three of her fingers lifted. “There is one condition left.”
Ugh! With what came before, what strange thoughts from Rine’s mind will now emerge? How weird can it still become?
The fearful composure I feel is accompanied by a strange squelching noise coming from my neck, just before Rine lifts her pinky: “Fourth and final condition!” Here it comes! “I want a kiss right now!”
…
… … …
Brainfart. Once again, all my expectations are blown away, not only by the condition itself—which is something between adorable and mind bogglingly stupid—but also how serious Rine’s facial expression is.
I mean, the second condition was to actually try to be lovers, so… I guess that’s what I’d have expected more or less anyway? I mean, even with us being serious lovers now, it won’t change that I don’t feel comfortable with people getting too chummy with me, but I have to learn to deal with it in regards to Rine in some capacity.
Also, it’s not like I don’t want to kiss her, so… “Yeah?”
“Take good care of me, Dear. I’ll do the same.” With a radiant smile which makes my heart beat like crazy—though its throbs radiate into my ribs, which aren’t happy about being shaken—Rine clumsily goes on her knees, carefully avoiding my legs. She puts her hands around my shoulders, the weight gives me another sharp ache, yet I only feel it subconsciously, as I’m enthralled by Rine’s eyes and her smell, and her lips.
*Smooch*
This is the first consensual kiss I have. It feels different from being suddenly kissed or being the one to smack their lips on someone else.
I immediately feel two urges. One is to break free, as someone is invading my personal space. Yet it’s not that strong, maybe because of months of her continuously entering it, for lap pillows, for linking arms, for feeding me the first bite during breakfast.
The second urge is to embrace her and press her body to mine. Rine and me kissing feels right, even though it may be because of the curse. So I want to have her all.
I feel her arms getting lower, as if to hug my whole body and with a sudden yank, I feel like my side just caved in, while she backs off at the same time, looking at me wide-eyed, as shock of what she just did dawns on her.
I’m in shock as well, and I bemoan the fact that this surprise will last only for a short while. Because after one or at most two seconds of shock, the pain will come…