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I hate being wed in a fantasy world!
Volume 07 - Chapter 3-1 – Tidings to the Person in Need

Volume 07 - Chapter 3-1 – Tidings to the Person in Need

Chapter 3 – Tidings to the Person in Need

After a night on the floor with Ara-san next to me—the best compromise was to have Kyou-san sleep in the other bed—we eat breakfast in the taproom. Yeah, it's soup! Totally watered down but with chunks of things I don't know for taste. I'm sarcastic of course.

I'm reevaluating the information Kyou-san gathered. The trading road is a wide road, wide enough for carts and wagons to traverse. There is also a path that's regularly used by pilgrims, mercenaries, and soldiers, it's sometimes narrow, sometimes rough, but still traversable enough.

Finally, there is a dangerous path, that's not used as it gets too close to monster territory. This once was a regular route, but many years ago monsters have started infesting this path and with another path, nobody around here wanted to spend money on mercenaries to clear it again.

All three of them are marked, though nobody is sure if all marks are still there for the old path. Or if it's still open. As far as we know, only heroes are taking this path, as the monsters here have little value. They're rather strong, but their parts aren't special, so selling it for rarity or properties won't bring enough profit for the risk, unless you can get XP out of it.

As mercenaries, it would make sense to take the safer path. As heroes who have Correo and his goons to consider, taking the difficult route is more likely, less exposure to others. I would usually say that the trading route would be the way to trick everyone, but since the Crusaders have pacified them, a lot of traders will traverse them, so it may be way too much exposure and it may be too easy to hide an ambush there.

To be honest, I'm stuck. I don't know the best course of action. There are neither bad nor good choices from where I'm standing. Of course, that old path might be risky and not even open, but we're only four people, so we can climb a bit. Heck, Ara-san can jump several meters high, so she may bind a rope to the top of a cliff for the rest of us. This can also be applied for avoiding ambushes.

This sucks. Not that we're incapable of avoiding ambushes as long as I can use [Shared Senses] and Ara-san's [Like the Wind], that's cool. I mean deciding the best course of action if everything looks the same right now, as these decisions will come back later. “Phew...”

Ara-san's ears twitch once, then she turns to me. “This is the eighth time. Is the soup that bad.”

“I don't particularly care.” I only like complaining about it. “Just weighing our options.”

“I see. That's why you are the leader.”

“Because it's a pain in the ass?”

“Exactly.”

“Phew.”

“When in doubt, just draw by lot.”

“Huh?”

“Just use an event you can't predict and base your answer on that. Like how about the bard will come into the taproom?”

“What do you mean?”

“We still have three choices?”

“Yeah?”

“Then when he comes in and is angry, anxious, or otherwise showing his discontent, then it's option 1. If he comes in and is trying to hide the fact, then it's option 2. If he doesn't come before we leave, it's option 3.”

“We still need to spread the rumors before we leave.”

“I can't think of everything for you.”

“You're just trying to cover up that you haven't thought of it.”

“Ahem.” No need to be proud of that! Sometimes I'm not sure if she's free-spirited or just an idiot in her own right.

...Kyou-san, why are you looking at me like I've put an octopus into my shirt? “What have the two of you done?”

“Erm... What are you referring to?”

“The bard.”

“...” OK, now that I have slept over the matter, I do kinda feel guilty.

Ara-san isn't. “What didn't we do?”

“Are you realizing that this is the reason why alfar aren't welcome anywhere!? Ken, you should have stopped her!”

“Erm, I did damage control?”

“He certainly did. There are so many things you can do with fire.”

Kyou-san snorts: “Yes, and most of them are stupid ideas. Let me guess... you're on a petty revenge trip.”

I scratch my head as an answer, as I can't dismiss this verdict. I was caught in the heat of the moment and counseled by an alfr who certainly is a bad influence for anyone.

I look at Rine who isn't even listening, she eats her soup while humming. It's one of the songs that were played yesterday, I guess she liked it. I'm glad that it's not that one. I can't help but feel a bit relieved that she didn't notice what we're talking about right now.

The door of the inn opens, and a person in underwear comes in. He has a hat glued on his head, tusks drawn under his nose and a face around his emergent navel which now looks like a nose. His eyes are red, his lips are blue, his side is dirty and wet. He must have jumped out of the window to escape his room, as we may have taken his room key with us after we were done, locking him inside his room.

While he was performing last night, Ara-san spiced his drink with one of her sleeping agents when nobody was looking. While Kyou-san has more potent drugs, Ara-san has her own stash for alfr-purposes. It was enough to put him into a good, long sleep.

Of course, we had to enter his room, but the beauty of it was that it was on the second level. Ara-san jumped at the window from the outside, despite the rainstorm, and somehow opened it without even breaking anything. Then she entered the room, dried herself with a spell, found the key, and let me in.

For some reason, the bard walks up to us... wait. Now that I think of it, Ara-san is an alfr, of course she's the one who will be suspected first. “This is quite an experience. Thank you for it. Yet I'm in the need of my clothes. Would you please give them back to me?”

Ara-san's face is as unmoving as ever, her ears are slightly uplifted, showing her amusement. “Your clothes are where your feet are moving while they don't tread, and you're larger than standing while sitting.”

“A riddle! What a turn!” He overacts, but I guess he's an entertainer.

“An easy one.” Yes, the answer is 'horse' or any other kind of mount, therefore his clothes are in the stables.

“Thanks for your mercy. I'm also sorry if my song about your friends has angered you.”

“Angered? You don't know alfar well.”

“For what other purpose have you put mud into my backpack, taking a bite of each of my supplies, while wetting my sheets, smear on my body, gluing my hat on my head with something alive in it which moves constantly now, putting a frog in one boot and itching powder in the other one, taking my coins and hiding them throughout my room—even opening deck boards for that purpose and masterfully masking this craftsmanship—then detuning every single one of my instruments, and taking my song books and doing a flawless grammar correction?”

Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.

OK, now that he started listing some of the things we did, I realize that even after haggling Ara-san down we still made an overkill.

However, Ara-san is merciless. “Is this all you have found?”

The bard is understandably shocked: “There is more!?”

“I’ll leave it to your imagination.”

“Shiver me timbers!” OK, that reaction is exaggeration. “Then I need to find my clothes now. Be well, my alfr friend.” Then he turns to Kyou-san: “You as well, my unknown beauty,” Kyou-san gives him a look as if he had called her a slimy eel, “and finally you, my dear Rine.”

Hearing her name, Rine turns around. “Oh, hello,” greeting him like she hasn't noticed. “I'm sorry, but I'm not interested.” Then she turns to Kyou-san, who nods at her in approval.

While being ignored actually seems to hurt the bard, the rejection makes him smile: “They say love grows with distance and the next time we'll see, you will realize that I'm the man of your dreams... Just kidding, this is just an act. Though next time I'll be more careful and notice if there's an alfr in the room.”

Hey, is he about to cry? I see his eyes are a bit wet! This somehow makes me feel delightful, as it would really, really get on my nerves if he could take so much harassment without even caring. Still, I do feel a bit guilty.

Just for a moment though, as he makes a claim: “Next time I'll change a line. Instead of 'Though I have to tell you, folk, before I go to get a gulp, Kenta, this is just a joke, so please don't beat me to a pulp.' it'll be 'Now I need to end it, I hope you understand, because if I don't stop now, he will send his alfr friend.' My girls, stay as beautiful as you are. Kenta stay away.” With these words he laughs and walks away.

...what erk all the way through to the end. Well, in a way just pathetic. Or maybe he thinks he's acting like an adult that way, I don't know.

“Being treated by a human I pranked this way is unsatisfying.”

Kyou-san puts her hand on Ara-san's shoulder. This is a measurement to keep the alfr from running away while questioning here. “Now explain to me why you did so in the first place, Arako.”

“Actually, I don't know. I somehow got the urge to show that musician what it is like being one-sidedly targeted... could it be? May I have finally awoken to justice?”

Kyou-san's voice is so serious that it's funny. “No, you haven't.”

“Then maybe it's because I'm culture-sick. Being away from alfr so long may make me miss them so I have to make up for a whole village. Or maybe I'm more... how do I express this best... in certain circumstances, I have short streaks of protective feelings towards all of you. I mean, obviously I have positive feelings about you, but whenever someone is badmouthing or threatening you, I have these emotions I can't really explain.”

OK, this is the part where Kyou-san would retort with something. Yet her face is unmoving and she retracts her hand. “I see.” Is she a bit paler than before?

On the other hand, Rine starts to smile like she used to, stands up, and embraces Ara-san tightly. “You're caring about us!”

“Wwffw.” Considering their respective heights, Ara-san is pressed against Rine's plentiful bosom.

Caring... so this is Ara-san's way of being protective? ...my mouth tastes like shit.

“Ah, sorry.” Rine let go of Ara-san with her newly attained gloomy mood. “I mean, erm...” She sends me a distress signal with her eyes, most likely because she jumped into a conclusion again and realized it.

I just nod to her, as she's right to be more careful. Then I point with my chin to Ara-san, trying to say to her nonverbally that she's the one who can tell Rine whether she's right with her idea or not.

The white-haired alfr however is busy catching her breath. “*Huff* The theory of developing breasts as a means to suffocate other people wins more and more credibility.” Then her ears start dropping while slightly bending forwards. Is this her way to frown? “Caring about you though? I certainly feel a certain amount of affection towards all of you. I also feel like I want to be ravished by Kenta-kun and ravish him back, but this is another matter entirely.”

“Hey, don't phrase it like that!” I retort.

“Well,” Rine takes up the thread, “I believe that you're feeling bad whenever one of us feels bad, right Ara?”

“Possibly.”

“When another person is the reason, you get mad at them, right?”

“I suppose?”

“So that means that we're truly friends, right?”

“Is there any benefit for being your friend?”

“Hn?”

“Like a discount on potions or a membership in the Feuerberg Crochet Society?”

“There is one?”

“It's your country, you should know about it.”

“I'm sorry.”

“I forgive you.”

OK, now Ara-san is just messing with Rine …messing. This is right, Correo is also messing with me in a way. Logically speaking, his plan to capture us with mercenaries must have cost a fortune and while it may pale in comparison to the bounty of Rine, I don't even know if this bounty is his end goal.

When I interrogated one of the mercenaries, he said that Correo wanted me to know who they're after. Since then, Correo and his possible plans weighed on my mind, especially with the oni coming after us in Goldbrunn.

Yet, it was only the oni. The Crusaders weren't on Correo's paycheck, same goes for the guards. The oni might have been doing a recon mission and acted on her own after finding me without any of the girls.

I look at Kyou-san, who frowns upon Ara-san and Rine. She was right in a sense. We've been through the swamps to not let Correo tell us what to do, so I need to act like that and make my decision.

The old path it is. With our set of skills it should be easy to anticipate and answer any kind of ambush and even if the path is blocked, we'll find a way. Time to announce it.

Ara-san has one of her ears laying on her head while she says in a slightly annoyed tone: “I believe that 'The Pimp's Crochet Society' would be more appropriate.”

“And I tell you-”

I turn around to Kyou-san. “What's going on!?”

“They've decided to start their own crochet club and now they're fighting over the name.”

“Ah, I know!” Rine says loudly. “We're the Lion Squad, therefore we're the Lion Squad Crochet Society!”

“What a splendid idea,” Ara-san agrees.

Hey, don't throw mud at the name I gave us! My hands are slowly moving towards the ears of both, slowly, not with single intention to hurt someone. Now I have them pinched between my fingers. “Would you mind listening? First, I won't participate in any crochet club, so cut the name.”

“Oh,” Kyou-san smiles at me, “I think it's a wonderful idea.”

“Are you serious about joining!?”

“Of course. I mean, it's not like there is much to do in this world besides fighting monsters which isn't a real past-time. Or can't you crochet?”

“Kenta, I'll teach you how to do it!”

“Shut up, Rine.”

“Auh...” Now she's sad again.

“Phew... hey, just listen, OK? I've decided that we're going the old path, so Kyou-san, make sure that everyone here thinks that we're going the mercenary route.”

“Only if you join the society.”

I want to hit her, I want to hit her so badly... Yet there is another distraction: “Red Ranger!” It's the old man again who surely has slept in his poncho. “Are you alright? Also, why do you have a pair of ears?”

Ah, I still have Rine and Ara-san by their ears. I let both of them go. Dammit, did the geezer listen to our conversation? “They had an argument.”

“You're really busy, right? Come, let's get a drink.”

“I thought you were dirt poor.”

“Often enough. That's why I'm asking you to pay the bill.”

“Hell no!”

“Come on, lad. I still need a day or two to rest and want to save my money.”

I appreciate his honesty in this matter, but I hate the content. “Why should I?”

“Because I'm that charismatic.”

“You're not. Also, we’d like to move on soon.”

“Another reason to have a drink together.”

“Do you have any knowledge about what's before us?”

“Barely.”

“Then sorry, but no sorry. I don't have the time right now.”

“Ah, I'll drink something with him,” Rine suggests to me.

“Rine, don't pay attention to him. Geezer, we're on a tight schedule and have limited funds, so no thank you.”

The old man shrugs his shoulders. “I see. Too bad.” Then he goes to the next group of young people.

Now Kyou-san can give the false intel and we're ready to go.

―○●○―

Masahiko looks at Correo, who is holding a pendulum, a relic that can lead a person to the closest hero. If a hero touches the pendulum, they can't detect them for a year though. So the two parties of heroes have all been excluded for the search.

The pendulum moves a few centimeters to southeast. “We're getting closer,” Correo says while adjusting his hat. “Less than a day behind.”

“We should hurry,” Yoshimura-kun suggests. “Hoshibashi-kun and I can catch up to them in half that time.”

“I don't know,” Masahiko says slowly while frowning. “If we're too reckless, we'll just tire ourselves. Correo-san, they're in the canyon, right?”

“Most likely.”

“We need to save our energy then.” While Masahiko doesn't want a battle, he does want to prepare for one. “Hurrying might kill us. We need to keep monsters and other hazards in mind.”

“This is a waste of time, Inoue-san,” Yoshimura-kun replies, “we're talking about a canyon here, so if they're in too deep, knowing their direction won't help much. There are dozens of paths.” Yoshimura-kun sounds lecturing and urging at the same time.

“You're right, it becomes more complicated. But we have Teruko on our side, she will find them.”

The girl in question steps forward: “I'm a [Deepstalker], I can find anyone.”

Correo coughs slightly to gain the attention: “There is an inn right before the canyon. I would suggest that we do a compromise, we'll travel at a fast pace there and take a rest. As far as I know, you heroes recover quickly, so we'll win time. Maybe someone has seen them there.”

“What about you, Correo-san? You would still need a break.”

“I'm a non-combatant and used to traveling. So a bit of forced march won't affect me much. We could be there in half a day.”

Masahiko remembers how Correo brought them here in the first place, so yes, walking isn't something Correo needs to be worried about. “Please guide us.”