The last thing he heard was "Don't let the door hit you on the way out!", then the door smashed into his rear, sending him flying into the wall. Some hours later, when he began to recover consciousness, he heard voices murmuring in the background. He vaguely recognised the tone but couldn't make the effort to pin it down. As he slipped back into sleep, the words slipped away.

" I told you to look after him! You're the sodding Xeno Officer. Next I find him with brain injuries in my Medbay. Explain, and this better be good!"

Second Officer Portas was practically melting under the gaze of his Captain. He looked like he was ready to push him straight out of an airlock.

" Captain, please, I brought him on the tour, everything that he had asked to see. Then we got to the engine bay, but the Engineer wouldn't let me in. She said it was too dangerous to let a 'Lightweight' into her department."

He looked pleadingly at the Captain, " You know what she's like. Plus she has seniority down there."

The Captain grunted, " Go on."

"Our guest took that as an insult, and called her some strange things.

Is ' Flatware' an insult? Anyway she ordered us out. The engineering department has its own hatchs, much stronger than the interior doors. I guess our friend here forgot. He left in a huff, pulling the door closed behind him, it activated and sent him straight into the opposite wall. The guy weighs about, what, fifteen kilos?. He flew like a bullet."

The Captain sighed," Keep me updated. Tell the Engineer I need to speak with her. Also, you are still neck deep in the shit. I want a full review of our procedures dealing with light-gravity Xeno types. Handwritten."

Portas kept his composure until the Captain left, then he melted into a handy chair. " Fuck. Handwritten? I can't even remember how that works."

He looked at the unconscious Xeno. Idiot. He knew that Heavy World training was provided before you were allowed on a human ship. This one was obviously used to stomping about and complaining. Well, that had really worked out well for both of them, and then this idiot got to be unconscious while he had the Captain eating him alive. Pillock.

Captain Pearce cursed softly as he caught the ladder back to the bridge. It had taken weeks to get these light-worlders to talk, let alone send a Prince-Envoy. Privately he agreed with his Second, the creature had ignored the training and had taken a smack.

He nodded at the crew loitering around the deck. Looking for the newest gossip. He committed their names to memory as he continued to swear quietly to himself. At least he wouldn't suffer alone.

The Prince had ignored his training, ignored the time and effort needed to certify a human ship for light world trading. Why not just send a fucking Avatar? Xeno royalty were, in his very unofficial opinion, a bunch of inbred reactionary, pampered mouth-breathers. He stopped outside the bridge, taking a moment. Back to work.

"Captain Pearce, the Engineer is on her way up. She doesn't sound happy."

Captain Pearce nodded, "There's a lot of that going around today. I'll be in my office."

His cabin had a lovely view of the planet they were orbiting. At nearly twice the diameter of Earth, it had a spectacular sunrise.

The view was currently obstructed by his Engineer. In all honesty, he didn't blame her, but it might be better if she didn't believe that. Still, it was hard not to remember she had blown up a moon the last time someone pissed her off. Normally he just enjoyed the salary reduction that had meant for her. Not right now, though. Frankly, Revel's face hovering over the planet was disturbing.

"Engineer Revel, I believe our guest was injured leaving your department. I believe you were, in fact, the last to speak to him before he was so badly hurt?"

The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.

Revel immediately recognised the gambit. Ha. " I told you never to send tourists into my department. Never mind a lightweight, the stuff we are throwing around would hurt anyone. As it happens, I was speaking to the Second, not your guest. He should have known better, Captain."

His title was dropped heavily at the end of the sentence, a little reminder of who she held responsible.

The Captain silently surrendered, sitting down. He looked at his Engineer, " We have a problem. They want their dear prince back in one piece. It will take weeks to heal him onboard and, in the meantime, we are stuck here. I can't move him, not without somewhere to put him. I need a decent hospital on the ground, something I have offered to build. So, Engineer Revel, you are going to go and build it. I'm sending you the details. Think of it as your good deed for the day."

That stumped Revel for a minute, "You're sending me onto the planet? You know that doesn't always work out. People ask questions."

The Captain nodded, " I know. It's not ideal for anyone, but I'm short on choices and the locals have agreed. Look, just throw up a Medbay down there, smile a bit and get back here. I know you have enough spares to build a dozen of the things. I got the bill, remember?"

Revel was loading the shuttle with supplies when the Second came to see her off.

" Engineer, I just came down to apologise. I brought you my notes, stuff our guest let me know. Usually this stuff just goes back to Earth but I figured you might need it."

She took the data, not quite willing to forgive Portas just yet. " So what's on it? Anything I need to know?"

Portas grinned, at least she wasn't shouting at him. " Yeah. They take Royalty really seriously, which is why we are in this hole, I suppose. They don't know exactly what happened, so don't dwell on it. He hit his head is all you should say, then get back here before he wakes up. We told them that Engineer is a human 'Noble' title, so you should have some rank down there. Bring something to wear "

He hesitated," Look, I called in a favour. Earth is sending someone, but it's going to take a while. Maybe I fucked up, but when they heard it was you, I got a lot of dead air. Be careful down there. Keep your hands clean and get back here quick. Let Earth handle the rest. Please."

As Portas left, he wasn't sure if he had made things better or worse, but she wasn't mad at him anymore. He had been told as a young Ensign that pissing of the Engineer on any ship would end badly and, frankly, Revel's temper was now in the history books.

She loaded up a few personal items, then called the Captain, " I'm good to go. If anyone from Earth turns up, please keep them here. It should only take a week or two to get something built, but building on a Lightworld is a pain. It will probably take longer to calibrate than build. Anyway, permission to leave?"

The Captain had been following her loading carefully. He wouldn't have been surprised with an outright refusal to leave. Perhaps she did feel a little guilty about the Prince-Envoy. Regardless, he needed this done and done quickly. She was the best Engineer he had ever had on-board and he expected no problems. " You are good to go. Let's get this unfortunate Prince home. Best of luck."

As she began the descent, she plugged in the data spike. Might as well get some more background on these people. She set it to audio, sat back and listened.

*Welcome. The following information is classified as - unknown- please indicate your agreement. If you are a robot, please include your IP address. You have indicated yes. Please hold.

*This is the system of Carpus. It is an Aristocracy. Its capital planet is Carpus. It is the fourth planet of nine. It is a Light-gravity world. It is uncontacted by the Galactic Council. Please update as required. Recent editors include Portas183. Would you like to listen to these additions? You have indicated yes. Please hold. Loading.

"Ehh, ok. This is TTT Australia, trading with the new system Carpus. It's a light world, and the inhabitants are, well, unusual. It is a light world, so everyone is nearly three meters tall and weigh about the same as a toddler. Our Captain paid quite a lot for this territory, so we expect good things. "

Edit rejected (obsolete)

" Ok, apparently I need to add that this is a human, heavy world, mammalian species ship. We operate from the Terrestrial Trading Territory of Australia. I'll fill you in on the politics asap."

Edit accepted

"Okay, this species is divided into two. At the top, maybe five percent, they are much longer lived, clan based and fill every position our Captain will meet. Only the top tier are allowed to travel off-world. Apparently the lower tier can't take the acceleration. Sounds like bullshit to me, half our allies are Lightworld. It's probably about sex. It usually is."

You have subscribed to Portas183. New broadcast available. You have indicated yes. Please hold.

" Ok, we had a Prince arrive. He wants a tour, Captain has insisted he does the Health and Safety training. I haven't met him yet, but guess who normally gets handed these assignments? That's right me. "

Edit: "Quick update. It didn't go well, Prince was injured. Got to go."

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