"I didn't blow it up! Why do you keep looking at me like that?" The human engineer was pissed, his alien crewmates were suddenly a lot more alien than usual.

The Captain of the Saleship 'Love, Live, Laugh' was pissed. Someone, probably the human, had put a very large hole in her ship, running straight through the cargo deck. Her scent glands were sending the crew into a frenzy, her rage filling the ship. She gazed out the viewport, watching pills, pastes and vital oils flow into space.

Her inventory was pouring into space, and her downline was already behind in payments and orders. This could kill her chance to be an independent, successful businesswoman, not to mention ruin her chance to go on the company cruise. Her people would never know the joys of inner fulfillment or healthy scales.

"I didn't blow anything up!" He repeated," I was fixing the lighting on deck three, not mucking about with the ship systems. Look, I need you to get out of the way and let me see the damage. Right now you need me a lot more than I need a bunch of snake oil salesmen." At that he pushed past the crew, ignoring the hissing and headed for his engineering office.

Practically every warning light, buzzer and scent filled the room. The engineer paused at the door, the combination of flashing red lights, shrill screeching and the smell of burning rust had turned his office into a cheap version of hell, or a student party.

He moved quickly to silence everything, propping the door open to remove the smell. The reading's were pretty grim. Something had exploded in the aft cargo hold, propelled itself through two more holds and then blown a hole in the hull. The holding fields had worked as expected, thankfully, keeping the atmosphere in and letting out any debris.

He was checking the inventory of the aft cargo hold when the Captain called," Engineer, please report. What happened?" She had the same readings as he did, this was mostly a 'What did you do?' call. No doubt they would need another meeting.

If he ever got off this ship, he was going to sign up to one of those Library ships, just for the peace and quiet. "Captain, something in the aft hold went live. I'm going through the cargo lists now."

He continued scanning the lists. Nothing stood out, mostly a weird mix of trinkets, religious oddments and a pile marked as 'Crystals, varied.' Crap.

"Captain, those crystals... Do you have any idea what they were? Before they exploded?, I mean."

The Captain coiled a little tighter to her perch, hissing loudly," I believe they were spiritual energy crystals, a beautiful calming shade of green. Completely harmless." Aware that wasn't exactly the sales pitch she had intended to use, she hurriedly added, " Unless your Aura was damaged, then they are wonderful."

She had been finding the Engineer's cynical disbelief tiresome. Normally, she would never associate with such a materialist species but, unfortunately, engines didn't respect the spiritual. She resented that she had been forced to pay a premium to engage one.

The Engineer nodded," Alright, I'll track them down. It's not important at the moment. This is a shipyard scale problem. I can keep us going, relatively safely, but you need to dock somewhere soon. Those fields are eating our fuel right now. I'm just letting you know that I'm throwing the rest of them out an airlock."

Even as she went to command him to stop, she heard the alarm ring as her last cargo fell into deep space.

It took the Engineer an hour to track down these supposed "healing" crystals. He laughed when he discovered what they were. Dead batteries, but apparently not dead enough. The 'calming shade of green' was a warning that they were damaged. Someone had seen the Captain coming, repackaged their trash and sold it to her. He decided he had had enough, next stop he was off the ship. No-one was paying him enough to keep this lunatic asylum in space. He doubted she could afford him now, anyway.

The nearest station that could repair them was a newly uplifted species that he had never heard of. No AI to speak of. This looked more interesting. Despite his distaste for his current position, he didn't really want to resign. Mostly he just wanted a break, perhaps a night out. Firstly he went to negotiate the repairs.

Eventually he found a local banging on a field generator, cursing in the native language. They didn't seem to do signs around here. Might be cultural, might be pure laziness. You never knew with Xenos.

"You look like you could do with some help. That's a Riki generator. They probably fitted it upside down, and you're only supposed to use them in zero gravity."

The local growled at him as he waited for the translator to catch up. It was currently scanning all available data on the station, but this could be first contact for him. That carried a nice bonus, cheering him up and making him inclined to make himself useful. Finally, a quiet beep confirmed language acquisition - and confirmed the bonus. Nice.

".... machine refuses to work! Second rate piece of excrement. You know about them? Who are you anyway, alien?"

"Oh, we just docked. The ship with the bloody big hole in it. I'm the ship engineer, my name's Middleton, I'm human."

The local growled again. " Never heard of you. You blew up your ship? Maybe don't touch this. I am the Station Engineer. We will fix it for you. Probably. If I can get this working, anyway."

Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

Middleton laughed," Not my fault, Captain decided to carry explosives, forget to tell anyone. Still, I'm sure we can sort out a price."

The Station Engineer growled agreement," Captains. They never tell you what you need to know, never listen when you tell them something important."

Middleton nodded," Everywhere in the universe. I can help you with this thing, though. We used them a lot, once upon a time. I served my apprenticeship with the buggers."

At that, he pulled out his multitool and began disconnecting the panels. Then he hesitated ,

"Just to mention, I'll have to put a warning on this. Galactic rules, just lets people know I fixed it. Long story."

The Station Engineer laughed," I don't care if you paint it blue, If you can get it working. You know how long I have to wait for parts out here?"

At that Middleton just got on with the job. Nothing complicated, just poor maintenance. He tweaked a few settings and nodded at the Station Engineer. "Whenever you're ready."

He put the station's first ever 'Human Altered' sign on the repaired generator.

Thirty minutes later, he and his new friend were in a dingy bar, enjoying a drink. It turned out that the native population had accidentally uplifted themselves. They had found a "Speaking Stone", that insisted on teaching anyone who turned up.

Eventually, it had formed the basis of government and education on their planet. Then they began running into other races passing through the local space. Using information from the "Speaking Stone", they made first contact. Then second, third, forth and so on. A very busy day. Currently they were waiting for a library ship to turn up, but that could be generations away.

Middleton got the impression that the Station Engineer had been dying to recount the history to any alien he met. He also had a pretty good idea of what had happened. " So, this " Speaking Stone"' is it still going? The Station Engineer nodded," Very important people visit it all the time, it's hallowed. Why?"

It might be worth a chance. Fuck it, "So, how long for the repairs? Would I have time to go visit it? And, I hate to ask, but do you have a name I'm able to pronounce? All I get is your title."

"My name is my title. Too many aliens, it made it easier. I'm the first ever Station Engineer, so it is my name. I will be famous. Yes, you can visit the Stone. It listed 'Human Engineer' as important. I looked you up. Apparently, many priests and scholars have wondered what that meant for generations. They are looking forward to meeting you."

The shuttle was a bit basic, but they landed safely. A crowd of very brightly dressed Xenos were waiting for them, much to the discomfort of Middleton. He hadn't exactly dressed for company.

One of the Xenos stood forward. His mane was beautifully cut, his clothes perfectly chosen. Everything about him screamed 'Important'.

"Welcome, human. Apparently we have waited many years for you. Luckily, now we are a space faring race and have met aliens before. Otherwise you would have been burned as a witch. Still, come and meet our 'Speaking Stone'. We suspect it's an AI, but well beyond our technology. Perhaps you can help."

Middleton shifted uneasily, " Nice to meet you. I'm not a diplomat or anything, just passing through. I could contact my government, if you like."

"That won't be necessary. It would like to talk to you. No doubt your government will be in touch soon enough."

The building was spectacular. Not as a 'look at me, see how much power I have' but to an engineer. This building was many thousands of years old with no battle damage, no fires, no neglect. This had grown from neolithic to the space age, cared for, extended and protected.

"Wow!"

His obvious admiration caused the Xeno to relax. "Thank you. It is the work of generations. I'm glad you appreciate it, we weren't sure how Aliens would react."

Middleton paused," I know you are new to space, welcome, by the way, but this will draw millions if you let them come. No other species has been able to preserve and grow something like this. It's awesome. We lost most of our history to time or malice, to greed or accident. I have never seen such work."

The leader bowed," Thank you. I will bring you directly to the Stone. It doesn't like ceremony, something that made our priests unhappy for years."

The Chamber was impressive. Standing stones incorporated into the walls, thousands of years of architecture in a room, all combined, all honoured. In the middle stood the Stone.

It spoke," Welcome human. I have waited many years for your arrival. Do you recognize my form?"

Middleton walked carefully around the rock. "You're an AI for one of the silicon people. Not sure which one, I've never sailed with them. What happened to your ship?"

"I was not a ship AI. Merely a passenger. I am an educator. The ship was damaged, nearly eleven thousand orbits ago. The crew was lost and I landed here. I assisted the population. It has been very satisfying. However, now I require your help."

Middleton was confused. " Eleven thousand years ago? We weren't even in space then. Why go looking for a human engineer?"

The rock simply replied," We too have stories. Time is not always what you think it is. I require certain elements to sustain myself, and one of your famous nanotech avatars. I wish to see the planet I have spent so much time on."

A very surprised Middleton replied," So this isn't a rescue? You don't want to leave?"

"No, human. I simply wish to move about a bit. It is tiresome sitting still for this long and the techtonics on this planet are dull. I can't remember the last proper earthquake I had. Please, build me an avatar. "

The planet was mild, for a human or a sentient rock. To be honest, nice as it was, it felt like a permanent Tuesday afternoon to Middleton. He needed to move on. It had taken weeks to get the station up to the point of making the tech that the Stone needed. He could have upgraded the ship instead, but he'd be damned to see them wandering around with this kind of tech. It was a nice touch that the Stone had come to see him off.

"Thank you, Middleton. You have done much for me and asked little. I will stay here until my people here are safe in the stars. No doubt your people will be along shortly."

Middleton had to agree. " Sheer curiosity will bring them. It's been a pleasure, and congratulations on your work. You have fantastic people here. I've called in a few favours, a library ship is on the way right now. They will go far, no doubt "

After a formal farewell from the elegant leader, he was quite happy to find himself back in the same dingy bar with the Station Engineer. He raised his glass," Best of luck with it all. It certainly made a pleasant break."

The Station Engineer growled, in his ' I'm laughing' tone.

"Are all humans like this? Your coming was foretold by the ancients, our Stone, worshipped by millions, walks amongst us for the first time, you have given us technology from beyond the gods themselves and, yet, here you sit drinking your terrible beer!"

Middleton shrugged," The universe is a strange place. If you ever get bored, we can always use another Engineer. Cheers."

He re-entered his ship, now happily repaired. The station had tried to cancel the bill, but he wouldn't let them. The Captain needed to learn to tell him what was on the ship. As he moved to his quarters, he was interrupted by a crewman,

" Engineer, the lights are gone on deck three again. Please fix it properly this time."

Definitely a library ship next time.