'Captain, the humans have gone mad. They have declared a holiday and refuse to work. I tried to question them but they simply babble about a new alliance they have formed. Human Resources have received several requests to land on the nearest human colony to meet these new Xenos. Sir, I have no record of any new contacts, certainly not one that only the humans know about.'
The Captain scanned all her available data. Humans everywhere were on the verge of madness. Throughout the Fleets, humans were drinking alcohol and laughing and declaring a universal celebration. Her med-bay was filling up with the results.
'We will return to port. Whatever madness that is possessing them will pass or we will have to replace them. Right now I am more worried about a bunch of drunken Engineers on my ship than their new friends. Take us back and scan for brain slugs. The humans don't usually go mad without reason.'
Every ship in the Fleet was crowding into the station, most of the Captains equally baffled. A quick comm check had summoned them to a dark and discreet conference room.
The first Captain simply hissed, ' I have nothing. All I heard was a scream from the engine room and then every human was embracing and laughing. My Chief Engineer was dancing. The human barely smiles and now he is dancing. It exceeded every parameter we have on human behavior and I had to return. I hope one of you has more information.'
A dark and stony Captain joined in, ' We have just updated our entire database on humans but nothing suggests collective madness. I warn you now that we have been seriously wrong about this species before. I suggest we do as they ask and allow them to meet this unknown ally of theirs. My Engineering crew refuses to leave until this is accomplished. We will be armed and ready if some foul infection has taken them.'
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They decided to allow the humans to leave their ships and shuttle to their colony. Once they were clear the ships, station, and everything else would be checked and sterilized. Weapons were issued to darken an already confused mood. Humans were good, helpful creatures. No-one wanted to start shooting. Unless they had all gone mad. One crew reported that their Engineer had begun building a small house in his quarters. It was clearly too small for a human.
The shuttle landed quickly, driven by sheer impatience. The humans disregarded the fact that the ship only carried humans and instead filled with more babbling nonsense and strange words. Intel became increasingly unhappy as they filed nonsense names and childish memories from the humans that added nothing.
A single human was waiting at the spaceport. He had a serious expression and blocked the exit. ' All right. I know why you're here. I need you to calm down. I have updated your translators but, and I'm serious, if you can't control yourself you have to leave. Form a line or choose a spokesman.'
The first in line was junior engineer Shona Bois and nothing on Earth was going to move her. ' Me.' She looked at the gatekeeper ' It's real? Really, truly real?'
The man smiled for the first time,' Yes. You will understand and so will he. It worked.'
She stepped past him and waited. He was gorgeous! She called out to the waiting crowd,
'He says he's a good boy and his name is Dropje!'
'New Friend!'
Following the Canine Alliance protocols, all humans are permitted to keep and maintain a Canine on any and all ships. Terms and conditions apply.