Longshot gently brought her Celestial Class ship into the target system. She sent out probes to measure all the niggly bits that the broad map Random had given her missed out. What was the composition, exactly, of the asteroid belt? The gas giants, as yet unnamed, needed some study, just in case something lived on one of the many moons.

Random had been tasked with doing a serious study of the sun. She was glad to be out, under her own steam again. It had been nice to have a chance to work on the ship systems, but she didn't particularly like being cargo. It was also nice to be flying again, after weeks of walking about in her Avatar. Her organic avatar, a thoughtful, if odd, present from Longshot, was still sitting in her new quarters on board. Untouched. She was enjoying designing her new personal space and had decided she wouldn't wear it until it was finished. Also, she admitted to herself, she was a little shy about it. Funny the things you learn about yourself, when you're not just several thousand tons of screaming death. Now she was still screaming death, but also debating about paint colours at the same time. She had a mood board and, one-day, perhaps she would admit that to someone. She might kill them afterwards, though.

Anyway, those were things to worry about after she had finished her homework. The sun looked ideal, and she suspected this was just an excuse for the adults to talk without her around.

Eells was still catching up on the new tech, having spent a good few weeks under the hood with Random's ship. It was a nice opportunity to get to know her a little better and size up her Captain. Oskar seemed to be growing up, no-more smash and grab. Privately, he thought Random was doing a good job turning him into a human. However, now his job was to brief the newly defrosted. Now that he was feeling more himself, perhaps he could risk a drink or two. Longshot had leaned pretty hard on that one. Spoilsport.

As he walked into the gathering, he forgot to mention that he always went out for two drinks. The first one and the last one. Everything in between depended on the company. He made his way to the front of the meeting. Despite everything, he still feared public speaking more than a runaway reactor. You knew if you had fixed that, because if you failed you were dead. You could die on stage and not find out for hours.

“Welcome. I’m Eells, Engineer around here. I’m a little younger than you so Longshot asked me to give a few words. I helped set up the Pi Project, an insurance policy for the human civilisation. You are going out there, you have chosen this future for yourself and your families. Just for scale, the last recorded human left the galaxy over a hundred million years ago.”

The room paused at that. Eells continued,” Obviously, our work continued for many millions more, with our successors still out there now. We are not forgotten people, and you need to remember that. We are a myth, good and bad. We are Gods and Devils to those who remember.

Above all, I want you to show them that we are just people, perhaps lucky people, perhaps clever people, but nothing that they can’t achieve. We are here to help, our library ships will fly and we will raise them up. Anyone here who fucks with that will be thrown straight out an airlock, by me or Longshot. Any wannabe Conquerors or Saints better just go back in the fridge. Am I clear?”

He left the stage to subdued applause and moved swiftly to the bar.

He had, gradually, been figuring out his future and had decided to stick with this project until he learned what was new. Then he was going to hop on a library ship and go back to wandering. He was also seriously considering changing his name. In the meantime, it looked like he was on the same adventure as the corpsicles. Time to make friends.

Oskar was debating the next move. He had discussed it with Random, but she tended to just go 'You're the Captain. Let me know what you decide." That was annoying on many levels, but it had forced him to pay attention. He was ready to admit, at least to himself, that he had let circumstances push him about recently. Now the Longshot had made an offer and he was going to take it. The fact that Eells wasn't involved was, honestly, the biggest bonus. He liked the guy, but, fuck, he filled the room. This would be his first legit job since he hatched and he was a little nervous, but the 'Human World Ambassador' was one hell of a title to hold right now.

Longshot took her place over the planet. It was up to her to name it, a wretched decision as far as she was concerned. She had asked her crew for suggestions, trusting that they would find something. So far the choices were the stuff a child would pick like Terra, New Earth or Gallifrey. She wanted something... else. In the end, as usual, Eells provided the answer. Over several whiskys he had deemed it " Crann Bethadh", or Crann to the locals. Sufficiently obscure, with enough history behind it to win a pub quiz. So absolutely ideal.

As Random confirmed her findings about the sun, Longshot released her first wave of builders onto Crann. Once she had built the first city it was all up to her passengers. It was quite hard to stop thinking of them as cargo, but this was their planet now. She would run the Moon, build all the space infrastructure, then sit back and watch. Probably.

The City of Baha was growing. Slowly Longshot put the basics in place, a series of settlements arranged around the central hub. The planet was relatively new, only slightly older than Eells, so there was no life to contend with. She had been seeding oxygen producing organisms into the vast seas, although it would take years for them to complete the task and turn the water from dust-red to blue. Unless she intervened.

In the meantime, she simply built the domes and let the pioneers go to work. The Planet hub would make those choices, not her. She wasn't prepared to run a world, she had too many years in space. Happily, she had the ideal candidate for the job. She'd wake him up when the City was finished.

Random and Oskar had been meeting the neighbors. His knowledge of the current Great Powers, combined with Random's innocent human ideals proved a powerful mix. She handed out innocent technology to those Oskar deemed worthy, and a shopping list of required changes to anyone else. Longshot listened to every negotiation, while Eells nodded yea or nay. Between the four of them, they began molding the systems around them.

An atypical event had been when the K:Keck had turned up. Eells had decided to show up personally for that one.

The Royal Advisor was at a loss. Seriously

He had issues. For a start, there was a bucket. At the meeting.

Well, not a bucket, it was The Bucket.

He thought the Founder had begun re-establishing the human empire, and the bucket brought back bad memories. Apparently his new Queen had misjudged events. He had been expecting an Emperor, the fabled Founder Engineer. Instead, he recognised the Pirate that had caused the destruction of the palace and an Avatar, presumably of this insanely big orbital.

They claimed to speak for the humans. All the while, as he pretended not to recognise the pirate, and the pirate pretended not to know that he had been recognised, he watched the bucket.

This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.

After a few minutes, a new person joined the meeting. The Advisor didn't recognize the species, but it didn't look particularly threatening or important. It nodded at the human Ambassador and ignored him. Oskar took his cue.

"Welcome, we are delighted to hear from the K: Keck system. I believe you have a long history dealing with the Founders."

The Royal Advisor had to admit, it was beautifully put. Either an invitation or a death sentence. Fuck. Well, that was why he was here.

"Thank you Ambassador. Of course, we were proud to rescue such a personage. And, of course, cultural changes happen and times move on. Perhaps that was why we felt it was time to send him on his way. I am, of course, delighted to see it worked out so well for him." He looked pointedly at the bucket.

Oskar might have been a pirate, but this guy would steal the meaning of your words while you were still speaking. Afterwards, he'd see if he gave lessons.

"Of course, and the humans are delighted to meet such an old ally. In fact, given our long history, we were able to cobble together a rough treaty between our peoples."

At that Oskar turned to Eells," Engineer Eells, perhaps you could fill in the details?"

The Royal Advisor turned pale, as blood fled from his faces. The nondescript alien beside him was a Founder. The Founder. It looked harmless, but he had heard the stories. He had stood in the hall as the Queen's Guard had held weapons pointed at its naked brain. Unfortunately it wasn't naked anymore, it was sitting beside him. In the largest ship he had ever seen.

Eells had decided on a suitable fix. It wasn't pretty, because fuck these slaving bastards, but it would make them a shining example of why it was worth joining the humans as allies.

He began," Please inform the Queen, with all due respect that, after many years in the care of her family, these are my suggestions. You will host the first full human embassy, and appoint a suitable ambassador to Crann. Perhaps the heir?

Eells didn't wait for an answer, simply continuing his statement, sure the point was well made,

"We will issue you with the technology to massively increase the productivity of your Empire, installed by our finest Engineers.

As a thank you for your hospitality, over so many, many years and following the distressing destruction of the Palace, we will rebuild it for you, using our finest techniques. You won't be able to tell the difference.

You have also been chosen to host the fleet of Library ships that we, together, will send out to the wider galaxy. The finest honour I could bestow. Of course, it is for your government to decide. If she objects, I'm sure I can come up with a different offer."

Eells concluded with a slight smile. He had waited centuries for this.

The Royal Advisor quickly stripped out the meaning. The humans would be on his world. They would take control of the technology, boosting it beyond his people's understanding. The next Queen would be raised away from the court, hostage to the humans.

Only the humans would know how the Palace worked. What it could do.

He wasn't exactly sure what a Library ship was, but his people would crew them. This was the blood price for stealing a Founder

If the Queen refused, well, who knows? He suspected the K:Keck wouldn't be around long at all. As far as the rest of the galaxy was concerned, they had already chosen a side.

The Royal Advisor rose from the table and bowed to Oskar," Your offers are a delight. To offer to rebuild our Palace, train our Heir in your ways and go together as ambassadors into the galaxy, these are the dreams of my Queen."

He wasn't exactly lying. She thought the Human would finish the burning of her world.

" I can accept your terms immediately. Let us celebrate, let the universe know about our new treaty."

Oskar understood. Tell everyone that the Humans were watching, before the K:Keck got wiped out for being the first to capitulate to the humans. Well, he'd already made his peace with it. Time for the rest of them.

Oskar got the idea that this new meet-and-greet was different when, instead of "Hello Ambassador, we are the *unimportant minor power looking for help*, very nice to meet you", the alien ship immediately opened fire without a word, shielded missiles seeking Random's engines, while hostile drones sought to penetrate the hull.

Random felt the enemy weapons seek her out. It was like a bad smell, an incoming attitude. However you wanted to put it, the bad guys were at the door and she needed to get to work.

This time, she would use her weapons on the fuckers at the door. No courts out here.

The Unlisted had finally found the humans. It hadn't been hard, in the end. They had invited the Emperor to a feast, celebrating the treaty between the humans and the K:Keck. His ship was listed as the plus-one. The Emperor was pissed, since he had to withdraw the troops on their way to the burned Palace of K:Keck. The records showed how that would end, attacking a human vassal. Already, mere weeks after the humans return and politics were in chaos

The Unlisted Captain didn't have a plan, he expected to look for intelligence, perhaps see how other guests felt about the return of the Founders. Look for allies.

That all changed when he was challenged by the perverted pirate ship that had unleashed this evil back on the Universe. The twisted thing demanded his credentials!

Some possessed abomination pretending to be alive was allowed to challenge him! Before his brain engaged, he had already ordered his ship to attack.

Random had been looking forward to testing her weapons, she had helped as Eells rebuild the whole array. He had warned her that being unique wasn't always a good thing, that it might take some time to remind the galaxy that being a human AI meant being human and nothing less. Well, today was the day.

Oskar was searching the database, since Random was preoccupied with the incoming fire. He identified the ship as the Unlisted, a warship although it carried Diplomatic codes. Right up until it attacked, then they weren't invited to the party anymore. The Treven Theocracy, an Empire, one with a real Emperor and everything.

Oskar hadn't ever visited the place, but he had seen their priests annoying people at the spaceport. Apparently they hated the Founders. Oops, probably not the best people to welcome to the celebration. He knew that the humans apparently didn't like theocratic anything, let alone an empire. He'd ask Random what she said to upset him later. For now, he just sent her an update on their tech and probable crew structure.

Random got the info from Oskar. So she was an abomination, was she? She called him," Captain, perhaps you could strap in? It's going to get messy. Any new orders?"

Oskar had decided that his intervention would only slow her response down, " No, just swat that idiot out of space. We'll collect any survivors afterwards." Then he secured himself in his chair.

Random felt like she was dancing in space. In fact, that sounded like a good idea. Oskar got quite a surprise when thundering beats began ringing around the ship. Then she attacked, tracking the incoming missiles back to the launchers. Captain wanted survivors then. Ok, gloves on for this one.

She released a swarm of nanoparticles, using them as a fist to shatter the missiles. Then she released her own missiles, powering them through open space like lighting from her fingertips. Awesome.

The Unlisted Captain watched as his attack failed. His weapons were destroyed long before they reached his target. Even with complete surprise, he hadn't scratched the paint. Then he waited as the response arrived. It slammed into his engines, blowing the rear of the ship asunder.

The Unlisted spun in space, helpless and dying. The Captain cursed his failure, the failure of this cursed ship. At least he wouldn't be the first Captain to lose to the humans. Perhaps his martyrdom would serve the Emperor. Then drones began cutting into the hull. He pulled out his pistol, preferring to leave a corpse than face his failure. The smell of burning flesh filled the bridge and a moment later, the Unlisted surrendered.

Random took control of the stricken ship, while Oskar met the prisoners as they were shipped in. What the fuck was he supposed to do with them?

After a short conversation with Longshot, he called the Emperor of the Treven Theocracy directly. You weren't supposed to be able to do that, but Random organised the connection.

"Hello your Emperes’ness, this is the Human Diplomat Ship Random Event. I am Captain Oskar, and I have some bad news."

The Treven Emperor was seething. The humans had crushed his Warship, diplomatically asserting that his Captain had gone mad. They pointed at his honourable suicide as proof. He had been forced to concede, as the human ship informed him that the crew had been left in the care of a nearby system.

Apparently the Unlisted was beyond repair, and had been destroyed for health and safety reasons. He was still 'Expected' to turn up at the treaty signing, as an 'Honoured' guest. Or as an example of what happened if you didn't play nice with the humans. It suddenly struck him, as never before, how the last Treven Emperor to fall to the humans must have felt.