I let out a shriek and dropped the book.

At any other point I would have felt embarrassed about it, but I didn’t care. That was my handwriting. I had written that. I didn’t remember how or why but I knew that I did.

Fuck, it didn’t matter that I didn’t remember it.

I had written it. I had felt that twisted feeling.

That sick, twisted feeling of pleasure, of joy at my power’s result. The desire to use them, just like with the villain on the bus, like the physical examination. Without prompt, I could feel it rising up again, and I removed one of my gloves.

And I brought it down on the notebook, tearing it apart. The remaining pieces of paper scattered across the room.

I clenched my hands.

I wasn’t a monster.

I would go to Atlantis.

I promised my mom. I promised Birgit. I promised Iraklis.

I would go to Atlantis.

I-I couldn’t breathe. My heartbeat was ever increasing, and my chest just got tighter and tighter. I reached for my inhaler drawer, taking the device out and uncapping it. I put it in my mouth and let out a soul wrenching cough. I repeated the process once more and I focused on my breathing once more.

Eventually, I was able to breathe normally again. I put on my gloves and looked around the room. Ripped paper littered the floor. It was a mess. I looked at the clock, and it was still seven forty five. Mom and Dad wouldn’t be back for a couple of hours, which meant that I had time.

I took my phone, keys and a bit of money and left the house. I wrote a little note for my parents in case they got back early, but I couldn’t stay home after what had happened. I didn’t have a specific destination in mind, so I just started walking.

After a while, I reached the city centre. It was full of life–lights everywhere, crowds of people surrounding me at every moment. I pushed through, still not stopping even as I reached parks and playgrounds. Eventually, I somehow made it to Koules.

I looked up at the fortress, before I walked further to the pier. There was a wall on the left side, with stairs in order to walk on top of it. On one side was the pier, on the other stacks of wave breakers.

People, whether they were alone like me, in groups, or couples, were all around. As I walked further and further away from the shore, the people became less and less. Eventually, I was the only person up here, with a few joggers and groups walking below. With the hussle of the city behind me, and my house an hour’s walk away, I was able to truly let everything set in.

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And with that, the whole evening seemed to set in. I could see the city’s skyline. From a hero’s view. I remembered myself in the dreams, with various hero costumes–from spandex to armour.

Those nightmares didn’t mean anything, I knew that logically. The doctor had explained that when I’d first gotten them, all the way back when I’d hurt Maria. But they didn’t stop the feeling. The feeling of being dragged down to the centre of the Earth. The horror of knowing I could only leave pain and destruction behind me.

The horror that this horrible part of me–the part that actually enjoyed it all–might actually be real.

A loud whoosh broke me out of my thoughts. I barely managed to dodge the object heading straight toward me. It was a metal sphere, frozen in midair.

No, no, no, not now. Not her.

But my prayers went unanswered. Maria, standing on top of two floating metal disks and with two other spheres orbiting her, rose up in front of me. My eyes briefly locked with her black ones, before they traveled to the scarred portion of her face.

“He-hello Maria.”

“I really can't escape your pitiful little face, can I?” she said with a sneer.

“Not today,” I said quietly. “I'm sorry, but I can't do this today.” After what I'd read. I couldn't pull myself together, I couldn't convince myself that I wasn't a monster when I was faced with Maria.

“You know, this is the first time I decided to come here and train. I even canceled all my plans for the day,” she said pointedly. She gestured slightly and the sphere next to me went back to her.

“I'm sorry,” I said instinctively. Why did I decide to come here? “I can go.”

“There's a chance we'll be in the same university, you know,” said Maria, and I could almost feel the world open up to swallow me. “I mean Atlantis if it wasn't clear enough,”

I looked down at my hand. So there was a chance that I'd be training to be a hero next to Maria?

“Maria, I-”

“No, you listen to me,” she snapped at me. “I don't like you. And I never will–no matter how many more villains or disasters we face together while there. Still, if I find you acting like an idiot and holding yourself back for my sake, I will make you feel the same pain I felt.”

I opened my mouth to respond, but a sphere stopping just short of hitting me cut me off. “I won't accept your pity. And I won't let you go until you say yes. Understood?”

I didn't know what to think, never mind what to say. Maria at Atlantis would be a game changer. Even after what she said, I wasn't sure how I'd be able to handle this.

Apparently I took too long to answer because she launched another metal sphere at me. I barely managed to dodge by jumping off the wall. I rolled on the ground and almost fell in the sea, but I caught myself.

She shot the other two as well. I managed to dodge one, but the second hit my stomach, throwing me back.

“Alright, alright,” I said, breathing heavily. I put my hands up in surrender before backing away. “I'll leave.”

She didn't say anything but also didn't throw anything at me, so I took that as my cue to go.

Deciding that I'd gone through enough excitement for today, I decided to go straight home and clean up. I'd also need to find a way to deal with the nightmares, Maria, everything.

And I'd need to be quick about it. The written exams were around the corner and–assuming I actually manage to pass–Atlantis wouldn't be too far behind.

I clenched my fists. Why did everything need to be so difficult?