It was a long ride home. While I was on my way, I got an email from Atlantis–a concept so insane I actually had to reread it three times–regarding the start of the new academic season. Apparently a boat was going to pick us up and take us to the Isle of Heroes–the name of the island Atlantis was located–on September fifteenth.

When I got home, I told my parents the good news.

They were worried at first, seeing me back when I told them I’d stay over at Birgit’s. Dad all but threw a party when I told him that I’d wanted at a girl’s house and he helped me convince Mom that it’d be a good idea. So seeing me back, they were naturally quite worried and even after I told them everything was fine.

“I made it into Atlantis,” I said, the words still feeling foreign. Almost too good to be true.

They both were, expectedly, excited at the news. Mom rushed over to hug me while Dad gave a sturdy pat on the back, telling me he was proud of me. He always tried to keep a somewhat stoic and sage but most times, including times like this, he couldn’t keep himself from having a grin so wide I was worried his face would be split in two.

“We need to get you ready for your trip,” said Mom, suddenly panicking and talking about everything she’d need to pack.

“Relax, honey,” said Dad, wrapping an arm around her. “We can get started on that tomorrow.”

“Yeah,” I said, chuckling slightly. “Besides, we don't get going until the fifteenth.”

It was meant to be a soothing thought–so I’d get her to relax–but it seemed to only make her panic more. “That’s the Monday after the next!” she said worriedly. “John, I need you to get some things tomorrow.”

We talked for a bit more before I got up to my room. This was a good day, one where–aside from regular exercises I did each morning–I didn’t really do anything taxing. Still, I felt more tired than I’d had since I actually took the exams.

I opened the door to my house with a grunt.

My gloves were drenched in blood so I wasn’t wearing them. It made everything frustrating though, since I had to be careful not to touch anyone or anything on the way over. Even if there were more than a few punks that I wanted to use my powers on.

I went in and saw Birgit all dressed up. She was wearing a black dress, although it wasn’t fancy like the ones she wore. I had more than a few words for it, but even now I tried to censor myself. I looked down at my wedding ring. She wasn’t wearing hers. It’d been a long time since she had.

“Out with another ‘friend’?” I asked bitterly. There was no use in hiding it. We’d been married for ten years, known each other for nearly twenty. Trying to keep secrets was pointless at this point. Even if we’d both tried. Even if we’d both been miserable for the past five years.

She sneered at me. “I can practically see the air quotes. You’re as good at being subtle as you are at being a husband. Now, get out of my way, idiot.” It used to be loving, the word ‘idiot’ coming from her lips. Now it only made me want to bring the house down.

“Don’t you dare talk to me like that, you cheating who-”

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She slapped me.

“I can’t believe I ever let myself love you.”

“Well, am I wrong?”

Silence.

At least she had the decency to look ashamed. After years of this charade, it was finally vindicating to see her like this. Looking on the floor, finally unable to come up with some smartass response.

“Answer me,” I said quietly.

Silence.

“Answer me!” I was yelling at this point, but I didn’t care.

“You’ve got a lot of nerve,” she spat out. She was looking at me now, with a gaze that would absolutely murder me in the most painful way possible if it could. “What are you even trying to do? Somehow prove that it’s my fault we’re like this?”

“I’m trying to see if you’re at least a little bit sorry for what you’ve done. Repeatedly might I add!”

“What I’ve done?” She was yelling now too. “You left! For a whole year! And you came back with that-that, I won’t even grace her with an insult.”

“I had to do that! I-”

“Oh, you had to bang her brains out? Had to go on a killing spree with her before you did that?”

“You’ll never understand what I had to go through.” I stepped away from the door. “Just leave. Like everyone else.”

“Don’t be such a drama queen,” she said, already halfway out. “I won’t feel sorry for you. Not this you at least. The man I married was a hero. He wouldn’t relish in the carnage you cause like you do. You’re less than a government lapdog. You’re nothing.”

I watched her go, her long brown hair waving in the winter wind.

You’re nothing.

But she was right. She was a torturous, awful human being, but…damn her for being able to push my buttons like she did.

You’re nothing.

Wait a moment.

Brown hair?

I looked down at myself. My hands were pale. I was wearing a wedding ring…on my left hand?

This wasn’t real.

This was a nightmare.

Once the realisation hit, I could feel everything being swallowed by darkness even before I saw it. There, just a couple of metres away from me, I could see someone standing and glowing blue. The glow eventually fade and I could see who it was.

It was me.

I was wearing a dark blue suit with black gauntlets, utility belt and boots. I was holding a black domino mask and–like in all my other nightmares–I was wearing a red cape that seemed to be flowing even though there was no air.

But it felt different this time. Almost like it was calling to me. Like this was what I was supposed to be in a weird, and somewhat melodramatic, fashion. It slowly faded back into the blackness and I suddenly felt like I was falling.

I woke up with a start. The details of what happened were already starting to slip away from me. I still remembered the broad strokes, enough to want to call Birgit and make sure everything’s alright with us. It was nearly three at night though, so I didn’t.

Instead I took out the new nightmare journal I had started keeping, and wrote it all down. The strangely specific image of the suit I had in mind, the dealings with Birgit who maybe wasn’t Birgit after all, and the fact that I seemingly wasn’t myself.

The fact that I, once again, seemed to cherish the destruction and pain I caused.

I took a deep breath.

I really wanted to be able to leave this all behind me when I got to Atlantis.

But it looked like there were some things that I just couldn’t get rid of.