Caroline
25th of April, 649
"You had that dream again, didn't you?" Turonn asked, taking a drink from a steaming coffee cup. Caroline nodded. She hadn't been sleeping well since that night. It all just felt too real to her, and the prospect that sleep would bring her back into that space with the girl on the rock was enough to lead to budding insomnia. Tiredly, she stirred her own coffee. She'd put too much sugar into it, which would have been okay for tea, but not for coffee. She sipped it with a grimace.
"I'll make you another cup," Turonn said, taking hers as she lazily accepted. "I know the High Vestal frowns upon it when I share this with you, but you've got to keep your energy up somehow."
"I know, I know," Caroline said. The aroma filled the room - a blend from Turonn's home in the snowy islands to the northeast - notes of cocoa and cinnamon filled the air in the faculty room, and she smiled. "I just need to be brave and actually try to sleep, but I'm a coward, Turonn. I'm scared of that girl. Scared that it feels real and that she's talking like she's alive." She closed her eyes and exhaled deeply. When she inhaled, the steam from the new cup filled her nostrils. She'd avoid the sugar entirely this time.
"Thank you, Turonn," she said, bowing her head. He nodded in return, sitting down across the table from her. He took another long drink from his cup, and she could tell that gears were turning inside his head.
"Of course, Vestal. I know that when the High Vestal returns that she'll certainly want to discuss all of this, but in the meanwhile, I think I have somewhat of an idea of what we should do. Would you like my advice?"
Does he even need to ask?
"Absolutely."
"I've been searching in the library for more information about Dreamseer Arondel in advance of the High Vestal's return. If we can find anything about her, then maybe we'll have some clues on how you can deal with what you're seeing in there. I was thinking that today, since you aren't teaching, that perhaps you could look with me?"
Caroline frowned at the word Dreamseer.
"Caroline," he said gently. "We won't let what happened to her happen to you. Times are different than they were 300 years ago."
"I know, but it's still scary."
"I understand. It's not something anyone ever asks for, Goddess-willing. We all know how quick the Conclave is to declare apostasy for just about anything that gets brought to their attention. Having you helping me search through some of the old records could help us out later on. Would you mind giving me a hand today?"
"I'd be happy to. I appreciate that you care this much, Turonn."
"Why wouldn't I? We are friends, are we not, Vestal? Cybele knows I wouldn't want anything of the sort that happened to Dreamseer Arondel to befall you."
"I'd hope not," Caroline smiled cheekily, receiving a smile in return from Turonn.
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The afternoon swept by as stacks of books covered a long table in Freyja Chapel's library. Turonn and Caroline had been scouring for hours now, and Caroline was grateful that Audine, the chapel's librarian, wasn't around today to see the chaotic mess.
The research had borne some fruit - journals kept by the Noctavian Empire that were in the public domain had some basic information about an operation to retrieve Dreamseer Arondel from her home, and they'd also found an article about her apparent escape from custody. After that, however, the trail of information ran cold. She'd either been captured and killed at that point or had gone into hiding. As far as her death had gone, Caroline was unsure that the rumors she'd heard of a splinter group were actually true at all.
Turonn signaled Caroline to join him at the end of one of the rows of books.
"Did you find something?"
"Not anything that new, but interesting nonetheless."
"What's it about?"
"Dreamseer Arondel spent a year in Empire custody, as we talked about earlier. This appears to talk a bit about her connection with the other world and her communion with Cybele, which is odd - I thought most of these documents were in Empire custody, but how they ended up here..."
"What does it say?"
"It's similar to what you've told me of your own dreams, Caroline," he said, sighing and closing the book. "I know that the idea of this is terrifying, but we'll just have to wait for the High Vestal to return to talk about it more. She'll have some good ideas, I imagine."
Caroline batted a thought around in her head that made her feel deeply nervous. The Empire had held the Dreamseer in their custody in the wake of the war that founded their nation - a war fought between the Empress' faction of the Church and those of the Bold League, a progressive wing of the Church. It was a deeply turbulent time when Dreamseer Arondel had been captured, and while the state of the world wasn't quite as tenuous as it was in those days, it was enough to make Caroline anxious. Would the Conclave keep me as a pet, too?
"I hope she does. Elysium only knows what they'll want to do to me when word gets around."
"So let's not let it, then," Turonn said, placing the book back on the shelf. "The only people who know anything at this juncture are myself and the High Vestal, and perhaps High Vestal Ileen by now, but I know she wouldn't risk her friendship with Vivienne over it."
"Would she?"
"How would I know? This isn't the sort of thing you'd want to gossip over tea about. You and I both know that there's a risk involved here, and if Vivienne told Ileen anything, I would rest assured knowing that she probably wouldn't say anything to anyone else."
Caroline fidgeted. Rumors always seemed to spread like wildfire, even ones with such potential gravity as this one. She closed a book she'd been mindlessly thumbing through and sighed.
"Vestal," Turonn said in that kind way of his, "if you're ready to head back I'll escort you to your quarters."
"That may be a good idea," Caroline nodded. She was hungrier than she expected, and the loud growl from her stomach drew a sly smile from Turonn.
"And maybe a stop at the cafeteria on the way back?" He added. Caroline laughed and the two left the library, stepping out into the afternoon's cool ocean breeze.
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Caroline sat on a large woven blanket as she and Turonn took the plastic wrap off of their sandwiches - seafood salad, or something like it. They'd encountered the Attendants in the cafeteria, but Caroline deferred from joining them for dinner, which had been unusual for her, and for them as well. She hated feeling this kind of stress; and Vivienne's return would undoubtedly compound it. She looked at her sandwich miserably but took a bite anyway. It tasted fine, but it reminded her she remembered why she liked to cook for herself so much. Turonn was already halfway through his when he turned to her.
"Pretty good, isn't it?"
"Maybe. Maybe I got spoiled at home with all the fresh fish?" Caroline smiled, picking at the sandwich. "I don't know, really. Reminds me of gas station food."
"What's wrong with gas station food?"
Caroline laughed. Turonn had traveled all over Terrah before he came to the Chapel, and she felt a sense of regret that she came off as picky to he, who had probably eaten everything on the continent at some point or another. He studied her face; she'd been quiet too long.
"It's alright not to feel hungry when things are bothering you, Vestal, but try to eat at least something."
"Did you grab anything else from the cafeteria?"
"Some carrots with dressing. You can have those if you wish."
"Thank you," Caroline said, grateful for the forethought. He was always so good at this sort of thing. At times, he reminded her of her own father, who almost always seemed to have a bag of snacks ready on her childhood trips. Turonn had been a father, too. He spoke fondly of Anaiah, his daughter, as well as his wife Gabriella - both had been lost many years before in a car accident. He didn't like to talk about them much as the pain was obviously still raw, but Caroline could see the spark of joy in his eyes when he'd talk about them. What he did before the Chapel, she wasn't sure of, and didn't want to pry into his past too much. She was just grateful that he was there at all.
As Caroline ate what she could of her sandwich and devoured the carrots, Turonn looked out to sea as the sun faded lower in the sky. Everything seemed to glow in a brilliant orange - a shade not unlike that from her dream. The cool ocean breeze had a chill to it, and she shivered. Turonn noticed. He always noticed everything like that. It made her feel safe.
"So what are you doing tomorrow?" Caroline asked.
"Me? Well, with the High Vestal's return, I need to see to her chambers and make sure they're prepared and secured. After that, I might ought to head out to Teliander and pick up some groceries for her since she left a list - it's good that she's more like me and less like you when it comes to food," he smiled, "but my word if she doesn't know how to put it away. I wouldn't want to be up against her in an eating contest, I'd lose miserably."
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At over six feet in height and no less than 250 pounds, Turonn was a formidable man - and while he was almost fifty years old, he still had the physique of a trained athlete. The idea of Vivienne out-eating him made Caroline laugh, but she'd had many dinners with the High Vestal that ended with Vivienne needing a break on her couch before coming back for seconds and thirds... Caroline knew of a joke about grandmothers from eastern Velus, where the High Vestal was from, to the same effect. The more she thought about food, however, the more she felt hungry.
"What about you, Vestal?"
"Nothing too exciting. We're meeting with the High Vestal tomorrow when she's settled in, and you already know how I feel about all of that. Perhaps I'll take the girls out into the fields again to check on the crops and see what if anything has changed? I know it's early yet, but it'll still be a fun exercise."
"Of course," Turonn nodded. He was always supporting her.
"Maybe some lesson planning tonight once we get back," she continued. "Cybele only knows that I'm freaked out about going to sleep."
"The dreams," Turonn murmured with a nod. Caroline nodded quietly.
"Like, what am I supposed to do? I can't not sleep."
"Is it every night?"
Caroline shook her head.
"Well, maybe you can will it away?
"Still freaks me out."
"I understand."
"So what do I even do?"
"If you wish, I could ask the High Vestal to be stationed near to your room for a few nights, Vestal. I know it's against protocol, but these are strange times."
"I appreciate that, but I can't imagine that she'd be okay with that, as kind as it is for you to offer." He scrunched up his mouth and shrugged. "You know what I mean, Turonn. You know how she is."
"It doesn't mean I have to like it. Your safety is above the rules, Vestal. What if something happens to you?"
"Like what?" Caroline said, concerned. Could a dream hurt her? "Like if I fall out of bed?"
Turonn smiled but shook his head. "I don't know, honestly. The whole thing with the dreams is admittedly making me feel pretty nervous, too. I didn't want to say anything as not to scare you, but I am bracing for what the High Vestal has to say about her conversation with Ilene."
"Good to know that even Turonn the Brave gets a little rattled sometimes," Caroline jibed, but he sighed. "Oh, I'm just teasing. I'm flattered that you care as much as you do and that you're taking it seriously. I can't imagine where I'd be without you backing me up."
He smiled thoughtfully but didn't say anything further. She always enjoyed paying him compliments as they made him visibly uncomfortable - not out of a dislike of them, but an uncertainty of how to handle them.
"You've got goosebumps on your arms," Turonn said. "We ought to get going. They said it might snow a little tonight, which is strange for this time of year, but who knows with weather anymore."
Caroline nodded and the two began their walk back to her quarters.
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26th of April, 649
Caroline squirmed in her seat as she waited for the High Vestal to return. She'd had to step away to speak with Turonn about something or other, she didn't know exactly, but the waiting was excruciating. She yearned to be outside in the field with the Attendants - it hadn't snowed at all, mercifully, and the warmth of the day had surprised her when she'd stepped outside in a cardigan.
Vivienne returned to the room and sat down in her big chair across the desk from Caroline. She leaned forward, tenting her fingers over her mouth, her eyes studying Caroline closely. It made Caroline feel deeply uneasy.
"Vestal, I won't keep you waiting. I spoke with Ilene about your... predicament." Vivienne studied Caroline's face closely. Caroline tried not to show how nervous she was, and she wasn't sure if it was working. "First of all, I want you to know that I made sure to safeguard your secret by invoking the High Vestal's Covenant," she paused, "and I know you don't know that that is, so I thought I would explain it. Typically, I would not be able to tell you that it even exists, but it is a way for High Vestals to discuss matters of the cloth in a discreet way outside of the purview of the Cybelian Conclave. It is something we are not truly supposed to be using, but there are many loopholes in the scripture around it. I felt that this... that this was worth the risk, Caroline."
"I don't know what to say," Caroline said, surprised. "But I thank you for doing that. I didn't want you to have to be in danger, and I'm sorry I..."
"Nonsense," Vivienne shook her head, cutting Caroline off. "Listen, Vestal. Sometimes we need to do things we are uncomfortable with in order to protect those we care about, alright? You are important to both me and to this Chapel, and I need you to understand that I'm in your corner on this, no matter what happens."
"Even if I start floating above the ground screaming that I'm the Goddess reborn?" Caroline joked, and Vivienne looked at her with a mix of confusion and bewilderment as she cracked an obviously reluctant smile.
"Let us hope it doesn't come to that, Vestal. I'm not entirely sure what we'd do in reaction. We'd probably either genuflect or... well, let's not go there."
Caroline smiled wryly. "Yes, let's not. So what did Ilene say?"
"Ilene said that there is a library far to the south, on the other side of the Great Tansarian Desert - in the town of Candus, which sits on the isthmus between Terrah and Fornacis. This library apparently maintains records of Dreamseer Arondel, which have been preserved well. I'm not sure if you are familiar with Tansar, but the Dreamseer had been well loved by its people, so much so that there is still a small settlement bearing her name three centuries later."
"What does the Empire think of that, do you think?"
"They probably don't care, to be honest. All of it's too close to Fornacis for them to want to dig into, but that's beside the point. Ilene has sent a message to the Candus Library for access to the records, but as they are fragile it may take several weeks before they can scan them and send us a copy of them, and then there's the whole issue of getting it sent here and having it arrive intact."
"Could they send it through the SGNL system?"
"Unlikely," she shook her head. "I'd imagine there's entirely too many protocols and procedures to be followed to have them even accessed in the first place by non-Tansarian folk, so I am unsure of when they'll get to us."
"Did she have any ideas on what I should be doing? You know, to not lapse into those dreams?"
Caroline hadn't dreamt that past night - she'd managed to wear herself out enough that she'd fallen asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow, but she knew that that kind of remedy was unsustainable. She'd woken up tired and in desperate need of caffeination - more than her morning cup of tea could provide, for sure.
"Unfortunately, she did not know of any remedies for it. If you feel like where you are visiting is a connection to Cybele, then perhaps you should consolidate your prayers to the early part of the day? I know it sounds like heresy to skip your evening prayers, but perhaps in the interim of knowing what will keep you safest we should at least try this approach?"
Caroline didn't like the idea of falling asleep without praying - she'd only ever skipped them inadvertently and getting advice from a High Vestal to skip them felt like genuine insanity. Nonetheless, she knew that Vivienne wouldn't be suggesting it unless she really thought that it would work.
"I suppose I can. If that doesn't work though, what then?"
"We will burn that bridge when we get there, Caroline," Vivienne said, smiling.
"Burn that..."
"Don't think about it too hard. Does this make sense though? We don't know enough yet, regrettably, to have a concrete answer, but we will continue our research. Let's hope that the fine people in Candus can get us what we need, and soon."
"I agree."
"There is... there is one more thing."
Caroline's heart sank.
"What is it?"
"One thing about the Covenant is that if the level of threat or magnitude of importance exceeds our station, then the Conclave needs to become involved. It would likely involve sending you and an escort to Sha'ul over land - you know how how they detest modern technology - I know that is frightening sounding, and I would wish to avoid such unnecessary involvement if possible, but..."
"But what?"
"We should be prepared for all options, Caroline. I realize you were due to go on a pilgrimage in the near future, but we need to be ready in case things change or take a turn for the worse."
"How are we supposed to do that?"
"Like I said, we are trying. We need more information. I hope that we can at least outpace the dreams in the process."
"I hope so too, High Vestal."
Caroline hated the feeling. She couldn't control it. She couldn't control what she saw in her dreams, and she loathed the idea that she'd have to travel thousands of miles to be put under the Grand Luminatrix's scrutiny.
"You should probably get back outside. I'm sure the girls are wondering what's keeping you."
Caroline bowed her head and stood to leave.
"Thank you, High Vestal."
"Are you feeling any better at all about this?"
"Not yet, but this has helped a little bit at least."
"I am glad. I have been quite worried about you. Turonn and I both."
"I appreciate it, High Vestal. I hate being the center of attention, and it makes it so much worse knowing that if this is truly Dreamseeing occurring that there'll be even more attention on me. Can't we make it go away?"
"If it is indeed a communion with Cybele that you are experiencing, Caroline, you realize you must devote your life to it. Do not give into the lying words of Corybas and run from it. Is that understood?"
Caroline hated the wrenching feeling in her gut. She had been struggling to come to terms with the dreams even, but to be a vessel for the Goddess for the rest of her life? It sounded like the blazes for sure, but Caroline held her tongue.
"I understand."
"I know it is incredibly hard to deal with. It is beyond anything anyone alive has experienced. We will have your back every step of the way. Now go on, they're waiting for you."
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"Vestal Caroline!" Serena called, waving from the field. "Emilia, Kate, Alison! Vestal Caroline's back!"
The girls came running towards Caroline, and their levity momentarily took the fear feelings from Caroline's mind. The girls had been playing tag in the field - Caroline soon joined the fray, and she lamented being slightly out of shape as Kate's hand grazed her backside, making her it. Kate's face was red as a tomato, but Caroline simply laughed.
As she ran after the girls, she felt happy - even though in recent days she had felt a budding disconnection from her surroundings and from the Chapel itself, she felt reassured and calm as the laughter of the girls carried across the field. At last, she'd caught Serena, who seemed to slow down on purpose.
The last time they were in the field, they'd dug up what Turonn thought may be Rigelite - Caroline was half tempted to ask the girls to search for more fragments of it after the game so that they could study it in class, but she was surprised by a sudden yell from her right side.
"I said hands OFF!" Emilia yelled, giving Serena a shove.
"We're playing a game, Emi! What do you mean?"
"I said don't touch me! What in blazes do you think you're doing? You just want what I have, I heard you say it earlier!"
"Emi, don't be weird. What are you talking about?"
"Whoa, whoa," Caroline said, jogging over to the girls. Emilia had her hands balled up into fists. "It's just a game, alright? We don't need to fight over it."
"Stay out of this!" Emilia yelled at Caroline. Caroline furrowed her brow.
"I will not, and you will stop at once," Caroline said, but Emilia looked right through her. It unnerved Caroline in a way she didn't quite understand. She saw a flash of blue that made her feel slightly disoriented, but as nothing had changed thought it may have just been her imagination.
Serena reached out to tag Emilia again, and Emilia wound up and punched Serena right in the eye. Serena fell to the ground, howling, and Emilia looked at Caroline, pale as a ghost.
She unclenched her fists, and what she'd been holding fell to the dirt below. The stone? Why was she holding that?
"Back up," Caroline said to Emilia, who took several steps backwards and stood still as stone. She helped Serena back to her feet and gave the crying girl a hug. Kate and Alison came running to see what happened and to comfort their friend.
Caroline reached for her pocket and pulled out her SGNL, messaging Turonn. He replied swiftly - she was grateful he hadn't left for Teliander yet.
"I don't want your stupid stone," Serena cried. "Emilia, you dummy! Why did you hit me? I thought we were friends!"
Emilia said nothing and Caroline could see tears in her eyes, too. Caroline reached down to pick up the stone, and as she held it in her hand, she felt the skin of her palm begin to blister and burn. The burning sensation crept up down her fingers and up her wrist and into her arm.
Caroline screamed and clutched her hand as she fell to the ground.