Joel
8th of May, 649
Joel pulled the truck into his space in front of the workshop, where Shandi was sitting on a milk crate by the door smoking a cigarette. Lucas had come along for the ride this morning - an unusually early start for the boy, but Joel appreciated his energy and commitment to the offer he knew Espee had dangled before him.
Tommy Thorne was a close friend of Joel's from his days in Stormhill Ridge, and Joel knew that the man's work would be a good fit for Lucas' interests. The revitalized Lucas had apparently nicked some of Joel's coffee, and he noticed the boy shaking as they got out of the truck.
"How many cups are you up to?" Joel asked, raising an eyebrow. Lucas answered with a shrug.
"Hey," Shandi called. "Tried to call ya but you didn't pick up," he said, standing up and brushing himself off. "I got your message, are we really staying overnight tonight?"
"Maybe. We've got that delivery coming in right away to start the morning, who knows how long that's going to take?" Joel shrugged and scratched the back of his head.
"Better not be overnight. My wife's gonna kill me, aya. The kiddo barely slept through the night, you remember those days, huh?"
"Not sure I miss them all that much, that's for sure."
"Well, either way, man. Let's get in there and get goin'. When's the truck coming with that big piece?"
"A little after 0800 is what they said."
"Right on. Alright, let's get to it."
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The truck from Valdena came on time as planned, leaving a tremendous task before Joel and his small team - they had been making swift progress on the Terradrill's construction in the days passed, and this new challenge was one that was specially requested by Hegemon Nox himself.
Looking over the cannon gave Joel a miserable uneasy feeling - there was nothing in the workshop that he could think of that would be able to lift it with the pinpoint accuracy they'd need to assemble it properly, and Joel knew that even Billy's skill with the forklift wouldn't be quite enough - they'd need someone up on scaffolding to make sure everything went just right.
Clouding his thoughts were the impending call from Victor, as well as the abrupt end to relations between him and Sephie. He'd wanted Espee the night before, but she'd refused him - at no fault of hers, but he'd been left hungry nonetheless. He craved Sephie for more than just her body, but he rather did enjoy having his hands all over her...
Billy waved an irritated hand in front of Joel's face.
"Man, stop spacin' out, boss. Shandi said we're gonna have to stay overnight if we can't get this done on time. Let's get going."
Joel nodded, thoughts of Sephie's scent lingering in his mind as he moved towards the workbenches to get his tool bag. He spent the next few hours working with Lucas and the team to try to devise a way to hoist the cannon onto a higher platform without everything collapsing on them, but little progress had been made by the time lunchtime rolled around.
Joel's SGNL phone rang - it was Victor - and the rest of the team knew it was time for a break. Lucas walked out with Shandi and Billy, leaving Joel alone in the workshop. As Joel sat down at his desk in his office, he relayed the SGNL's video chat to the big screen in front of the desk.
"Fancy seeing you again," Joel said, not terribly enthused to be speaking with Victor. The stress of getting the cannon mounted weighed heavily upon him.
"Well, what did you expect? Ciara?" Victor halfheartedly laughed. "I don't have a lot of time because I'm driving, but I wanted to tell you that the dates I gave you the other day have been nearly solidified - we're looking at a full-scale mobilization on or around the morning of the 20th."
"That's two weeks out."
"I know. Nox is expecting that cannon to be ready, too. Have you made any progress?"
Joel shook his head. "We're ill-equipped for that sort of thing, Vic. You know that, I know that. Why don't they?"
"Because, Joel, you know that they just want the end result and don't care how it's done. I wanted to also warn you about something else - you may notice an uptick of Drone activity in the area around Cygnus over the next two weeks. They look almost like small birds of prey, but they're General Hawkridge's intelligence collectors. She knows not to have them anywhere near the workshop as that's my jurisdiction, but still, be on your guard."
"Thanks," Joel said, shaking his head. "I know we talked about it, but what am I supposed to do with my family here? Are we supposed to get out ahead of it, or...?"
"Leaving would jeopardize our other mission, Joel," Victor said, sighing. "It may not be enjoyable, but you'll need to stay, at least for a little while. We'll devise a reason for you to have to leave, but until then you'll just need to endure whatever happens. Can I trust that you'll be able to handle it?"
"As long as that asshole Nox isn't in here all the time, yeah. Or whoever this Hawkridge woman is, she sounds nosy."
"Not so much nosy as shrewd. She's a sharp one that you'd probably do well steering clear of."
"Why, do you two not get along?"
"You could say that. You could also say that she's rather ambitious and in the Emperor's pocket, so just someone for us to be wary of. If Nox is the 'brawn', Hawkridge is undoubtedly the brains... with brawn of her own to boot.
"And Samsara? What about that? How's the construction going?"
"You realize how hard it is to get supplies into the mountains without anyone noticing, don't you? We are fortunate to have some of the connections that we have, at least. There's some good progress that's been made, but we might have months before the place is habitable long-term. There's so much damage from the fires that..."
Victor shook his head. "That's a concern for another time. You should eat up and get back to work. We'll talk again soon."
"Hey, wait," Joel said. "You're not really going back to Teliander, are you?"
"No," Victor said, shaking his head. "We're staying close to where the command post is being set up. This way I'll be closer to you if something comes up that you can't handle yourself."
And Sephie. She'll be there too, won't she?
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"Alright, let's give 'er a whirl," Shandi said, sitting at the controls of the forklift. The idea was likely insane, and Joel knew it. Lucas had apparently convinced Billy and Shandi to give it a go over their lunch break, and while the idea was fundamentally sound, Joel had reservations about its execution.
Two winches high above the floor of the warehouse draped ropes down, and Shandi carefully maneuvered the cannon, held in place on the forklift, to their loops. Lucas and Billy secured the cannon to the ropes as Joel operated the winch remotely - it made the girders above creak, which set Joel on edge. He had no idea how much the thing weighed, let alone if it was safe for the ropes to even be lifting that much - it was folly, but in the wake of his call with Victor, he felt hurried. The pit in his stomach was implacable.
"Right on! Let's get this baby up!" Shandi yelled, and Billy climbed a ladder on the scaffolding he and Lucas had assembled. Lucas spotted from below as Joel carefully raised the cannon further above the ground. Joel hadn't used the rail system in years, and the controls were more finicky than he was comfortable with them being - the winch ropes slotted into the rails on the ceiling, allowing for freedom of movement - it felt like the cannon was the clapper of an enormous invisible bell as it swung pendulum-like in its ascent.
"Easy does it!" Billy yelled from above as Joel maneuvered the cannon ever closer to Billy. He felt his heart pounding in his chest as it inched closer. Lucas had his hand on the brake lever nearby in case they needed to stop suddenly - but if something were to go awry and things began to fall apart, Joel knew that stopping it would be easier said than done.
The cannon inched along the rails as Shandi climbed the scaffolding to join Billy. Lucas watched with wide eyes as it moved, and Joel steadied his breathing. This would be by far the most difficult step of the construction process, and they'd had so little time to prepare due to the revised timeline that Joel was petrified something would go wrong.
"Stop it there!" Billy yelled as the cannon hovered near the side of the Terradrill. Lucas threw the brake lever and the cannon crept to a creaking halt as Shandi threw another rope around it to pull it closer. Another winch system above them pulled it so close to the Terradrill that Joel was nervous that it'd damage it, but Billy and Shandi set right to work on getting the Technica components put together to get it attached. "Alright, Joel! Get on up here! We need you!"
Joel nodded and stepped away from the winch controls. He ascended the ladder on the scaffolding to join his crew. He stood by, watching intently as Shandi and Billy worked fastidiously to get things attached. Shandi swore in a language Joel didn't know as he pinched his finger between two parts, and Billy examined the part he was working on, squinting. He held the wires carefully as he deftly threaded them together.
"Hold this a sec," Shandi said as Joel wedged himself into the tight space. Shandi ratcheted together several parts, instructing Joel where to hold it and when, and Billy called something to Lucas down below. The boy ran into one of the supply closets and returned with a hammer, which he tossed up to Billy, who shouted at him incredulously. I'll have to talk to him about not doing that, Joel thought, and Lucas grinned sheepishly.
They'd worked themselves into a frenzy over the next several hours - Billy and Lucas established a system of getting tools up to the work area without throwing things, and Joel and Shandi worked through the various welds and Pulse-powered components. The sun cast long shadows through the large windows of the workshop, and with a hearty laugh, Shandi pulled a switch on the underside of the cannon.
"Step back from it," he said as it hummed to life with Pulse power. Joel could see the faint purple-white glow of the control panel that Billy had spent most of the afternoon assembling, and Joel felt a wash of relief come over him as he looked upon their work.
"Goddess' shit, guys, you did it," Joel said excitedly, holding onto a railing.
"Yeah we did," Shandi laughed as he wiped grease off of his hands. "Guess you'll have to take us out for drinks, tonight, huh?"
"You can say that again," Billy said. "Man, my hands are so sweaty. I've probably lost like three or five pounds or somethin' just sweating up here."
"Come on up, Lucas!" Joel yelled to him below. Lucas climbed up the ladder and marveled at it with seemingly hesitant interest, but Joel's thoughts turned to Ceres. She'd love this, he thought, soaking in their success.
"What're they gonna do with this thing?" Lucas asked, touching it gingerly as if it was going to burn him. "Never heard of a drill with a cannon like this before."
"Not sure," Shandi said, "but it's probably above our pay grade if ya know what I mean, aya."
"The less I know the better," Billy said, shaking his head. "Do you know, Joel?"
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"Well, they're using the smaller blasters for excavation, but... this big one? I gotta be honest, I don't really know."
"Better not be using it on people," Lucas said, frowning. "But who knows. Maybe they found something big to blow up?"
"Probably the former," Shandi shrugged. "But y'know, it ain't us at least."
"Shut up," Lucas snapped.
"Easy now," Joel cautioned.
"Hey man, I'm just sayin'. They're gonna do what they wanna do, no matter what we do."
"You don't know shit, Shandi," Lucas said as he walked towards the ladder.
"Lucas!" Joel furrowed his brow. "Pull it together, bud. Can't be talking to each other like that."
"He started it," Lucas said, staring daggers at Joel.
"What in blazes," Billy sighed. "Not again, man."
It wasn't the first time Lucas had gotten angry at the shop in the few weeks he'd been there, but it was the first time he'd vocally lashed out at anyone. Joel knew he had some decisions to make.
"What do you mean, not again, huh?" Lucas glared.
"You get too mad, li'l bro," Shandi said sighing. "Like c'mon, you ain't the one firing the cannon. You gotta chill out."
"Don't tell me to chill out! If you got some shit to say about how good those Empire jerkoffs are, fight me about it!"
"Is he serious right now?" Shandi said incredulously, gesturing angrily with his hands at Joel.
"Lucas," Joel stressed. "Get outta here. Now. Go outside and take a breather or something. Come back when you're calm."
"I am calm!" He shouted. "This idiot's over here pissing me off, and you're telling me I'm wrong?" Joel saw the hurt in his eyes and the boy, red-faced, descended the ladder to the floor below. He sighed angrily and kicked an empty box as he crossed the floor, slamming the door behind him on the way out.
"Man, he's just like Bobby," Billy shook his head. "What's his deal? Empire kill his grandma or somethin'?"
"Well," Joel said, eyebrows raised. "Espee and I aren't his parents, as you know." The men nodded. "Lucas' parents were... well, they're dead. His father ran afoul of the Empire, but that's about as much as I know," Joel said as both Shandi and Billy expressed surprise. Shandi put his hand on his forehead.
"And you're having him work here? Making shit for the Empire? What are you thinking?" Shandi shook his head in disbelief. "Joel, c'mon, man. What in the name of Corybas are you doin' having that boy here?"
"He wanted to. He knew what we were doing here."
"Still though, man. I dunno. Seems pretty boneheaded to me, mm," Shandi said as he and Billy moved towards the ladder. "He was pretty pissed off. Maybe you should go check on him?"
"Yeah, you should go an' do that," Billy said. "Besides, I ain't got gas left in the tank for anything else tonight. What you say, boss? Think we can get outta here?"
Joel's shoulders drooped. "Yeah, I guess. I'll take care of cleaning this all up and getting Lucas back in order. Maybe I'll give him the day off tomorrow."
"Just tomorrow? He's tryin' to throw hands an' shit at me, man. Just huffin' and puffin' around the floor and having tantrums. Do we really need him?" Shandi asked. "The extra hands are nice, yeah, but we're about done with this thing, ain't we?"
Joel looked to Billy who surprisingly nodded in agreement. "Yeah, boss. Maybe it's time to cut him loose. Didn't he just graduate, too? Give the boy the summer off. Maybe he can help Bobby with his mixtape or something."
Joel wasn't sure how to respond. He wanted to help Lucas out, but he also didn't want to lose Shandi or Billy.
"Up to you though," Billy said. "I like the kid, but man, what a temper, huh?"
"You can say that again," Shandi shook his head. "Whatever. Billy, you wanna meet up at the Copper Stallion? An' Joel, if you get outta here before midnight, you should stop over. I think you owe us, anyway."
"I'll try," Joel grimaced. He knew talking to Lucas was going to be difficult, and he dreaded the confrontation. How am I supposed to justify this to him?
Shandi and Billy left the workshop as Joel stepped outside to look for Lucas. Joel's SGNL buzzed in his pocket - it was Espee calling, and he answered it.
"Hello?"
"Joel? What's going on? Ceres said that Lucas just called her and screamed a bunch of nonsense at her. What happened at the shop?"
"It happened again, Esp."
"It happened... oh." She sighed heavily. "So what are we supposed to do about it? The boy refuses to take anything for it, and you know it's going to be blazes itself trying to get him to go back to the clinic."
"I don't know. It was stupid of me to even bring him here, wasn't it?"
Espee clicked her tongue. "No. It wasn't, Joel. You were trying to help him earn some cash so that when he and Ceres left for Sylva after the summer's end. But we knew the risk of having him work there, and, well, from the sounds of it it's blowing up in our faces. Ceres was crying, it's just all going to blazes here. What even set him off this time?"
"We installed a cannon on the Terradrill today. A big one, special ordered by one of the Empire's guys. Shandi got to talking about how the Empire was gonna use it, and..."
"They don't know, do they?"
"They do now."
"So what are you going to do about it?"
"The guys want me to let him go. Shandi was all on edge, Lucas looked like he was gonna hit him or something. It's just a bad situation, Esp."
"Maybe you should do that," Espee sighed. "It's not going to do him any good staying there. They'll have to figure out something else for pocket cash, but..."
"He's gonna take that real bad, Esp."
"I know he is. But it's not much longer until he goes with Ceres..."
"Didn't you just say he made her cry? Do we want him going with Ceres?"
"I... I don't know, Joel. I'm a little worried, to be honest with you. Do you have a few minutes to talk?"
"Yeah, but hold on a sec. Did Lucas say he was headed back towards the house?"
"That's what Ceres said. Maybe Bobby picked him up, I don't know. It was hard to understand her, and she slammed and locked her door on me."
"Okay. Let me get back into the workshop, it's getting windy out here."
Joel re-entered the workshop and sat down at the desk in his office.
"Good now."
"I wanted to talk about Lucas and his outbursts. He and Ceres have been arguing an awful lot as of late, and I'm concerned that one day she's going to do or say something and they're going to attack each other, maybe even physically. I'm not sure who to be more worried about, to be frank. She's been on him so much about being 'faithful' even though he barely says a word to anyone who isn't her, and he's been awfully mercurial. I told him to try and endure it and..."
"Why would he need to deal with that?" Joel asked, sitting forward, elbow on his desk. "He's 17, for Goddess' sakes. If he isn't doing anything wrong, why's she on him like that?"
"Beats me. I guess I was remiss in telling him to just suck it up, wasn't I?"
"A little bit."
"I'll have to talk to him again, then. I suppose even with young adults, parenting never truly gets easier, does it?"
"Especially when they're not even your kid," Joel sighed. "I don't mean that to be harsh, but he's not our son. Suppose he'll want out eventually. He'll have his own life to live outside of us, and he's under no real obligation to hang around."
"Is that what you want?"
"No. It might be what he wants, though. You've seen the way that boy looks at those atlases. He wants to get out and see the world. I just hope Ceres realizes that."
"She's as stubborn as he is."
"You can say that again," Joel sighed. "Well, I've gotta get back to work. The guys left real quick after Lucas did, so I've got a lot to clean up on the workshop floor."
"When will you be home?"
"I'm not sure yet. I've got a lot to do, and if I wasn't alone I'd be able to get it done a heck of a lot faster. It could be hours, Esp."
Espee sighed. "Guess we can't have time together tonight then." Joel could hear the disappointment in her voice, and it was a tone that he'd become all too familiar with over the years. "If it gets too late, maybe you should just stay there? It's supposed to storm overnight, so I don't want you driving around if it's going to hail again."
"I'll be fine," Joel said. "If it's really that bad, I'll just sleep on the couch here."
"That's a good idea," Espee said. "I'll let you know when Lucas comes back, but I won't bother you while you're busy. Love you, Joel."
"Love you too, Esp," Joel said as the SGNL beeped and Espee dropped off the call. He took in the silence and sat back in his chair, staring up at the panels on the ceiling. There was indeed a large amount of work left to be done, but he'd lost any and all initiative to get up and actually do it. He opened the drawer with his whisky in it and poured out a small glass - just a spot to take the edge of the day so far off, but not enough to make him tired.
Espee's words resonated with Joel regarding Lucas, and it set Joel at unease thinking about the way Ceres and Lucas' arguments might escalate in the future. He wished the two were better at communicating, but he chastised himself for being not too much different - he'd never been particularly good at communicating... unless it was with Sephie.
While Joel and Espee's relationship had been built on unstable ground from the get-go, they'd found strength in the struggle of their early days, complicated further by Espee's surprise pregnancy with Ceres. Times had been tumultuous - Espee had been largely cut off from her family's fortunes, and Joel found himself working inhumane hours to make ends meet. Their fire had been well-tended then, their hunger for one another unabating and their ability to find common ground felt as easy as it was natural.
The house in Stormhill Ridge represented the apex of their works together, but also served as a harbinger for what would become of too many days spent apart and alone. Espee had tried to reach through to Joel, but the rigors of his traveling schedule had become almost too much to contend with. He'd spent too many nights in Ceres' preteen years sleeping in hotel rooms and in the guest room of Victor's house in Teliander, and the strain between them even radiated out to his and Espee's bond.
Joel sat back and took another drink, emptying his glass. He didn't know how to handle Ceres' estrangement from him, and he knew at this juncture it was already too late to do anything real about it. How much time did I miss with her, Joel thought ruefully. How much time could I have spent learning that girl instead of doing whatever else I was doing?
Joel's SGNL buzzed on the desk. He picked it up, expecting to see a message from Espee about Lucas.
"Are you free?"
Sephie.
Joel weighed responding - he held the SGNL device in his hand and sat back in the chair. He took a deep breath and stood up, then walked out onto the workshop floor. There was an incredible amount of work left to do - the cannon was still roped up to the Terradrill, even though it was no longer completely dependent on the ceiling for support. Tools were scattered about as were bits of wire and other plastic wrappers and debris from the construction. He sighed and shook his head.
"Yeah. Why?"
The response came more swiftly than he'd expected.
"I was hoping that you'd be. Could I meet you at the workshop in about an hour?"
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9th of May, 649
Joel and Sephie lay on the couch in Joel's office, fresh with sweat and breathing heavily - he'd had her yet again in a hungry, desperate embrace. She rested her head on his shoulder, and he felt her breasts push against his side as he held her closely. That he'd been able to spend the night here at all was a wonder beyond wonders, and that she was able to...
She'd been coming to the workshop in the days prior for clandestine visits, but this was the first time since his birthday that he'd had carte blanche to consume of her without having to worry about intrusions or time restrictions. He had taken her hungrily when she offered herself to him, and yet again he'd filled her with the seed of their love - the idea of it made him stiffen again as she sighed lovingly on him.
"Joel," she said quietly as rain beat down against the roof. A clock on the wall read just past midnight. "If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were trying to get me pregnant again."
"What makes you say that?" Joel knew she wasn't too far off the mark, as hesitant as Joel was to admit it. He hadn't been careful at all in any of their encounters.
"It's possible, you know," she laughed, giving Joel a gentle smile. Joel had thought of it several times since the night of his birthday - the initial panic had given way to a brazen sense of desire and necessity. The furtive, cautious intrusion he'd made just a week and a half ago was replaced tonight by an incendiary, deliberate act.
"I know it is," Joel said, stroking her hair. "I know. Sorry, I'm not thinking well yet. Fog."
"You never have been able to think after sex," Sephie teased. She gave his bare chest a kiss and sat up next to him. Joel took in the scene and reveled in the woman's beauty - how her hair flowed down over her bare chest, how her breasts hung - she noticed him staring and just smiled. "But... Joel? What if it happened again? Would we..."
"Would we what?"
She furrowed her brow. "Would we what? If I got pregnant again, Joel, would we keep the baby this time?" The this time rang in his head painfully.
"I..."
Sephie stared him down, and Joel relented.
"I know we would. We would have to find a way to make it work, but we would, without a doubt. Do you think I'd be doing any of this if I didn't know the risks?"
She kissed him on the forehead. "I don't know," she said, reaching for her shirt and pulling it over her head. "But what I do know, Joel, is that I trust you to keep your word on this. If on the off chance it happens again, you know what you have to do."
"I know," Joel nodded.
You'd have to leave Espee. You'd have to abandon her and Ceres and live with the guilt of not being able to keep your cock in your pants. How they'd hate you for it. How you should hate yourself for it.
Sephie stood up from the couch and stretched her arms over her head. "I'm getting pretty tired," she said. Joel's eyes were drawn to her lack of underwear, and she laughed as she noticed him looking again. "Not too tired to go again, though."
"You're incredible," Joel said as she stood over him.
"No, that's you," she winked. "Yes, I'd like to have you again, but give me a moment, I need to use the bathroom. Be ready when I come back."
Joel stared at the lights on the ceiling as Sephie slipped away to the bathroom, then returned, still in naught but a t-shirt and looking quite mischievous.
"What ya thinkin' about?" Joel asked her.
"Oh, just how much I love you. Hey - I've got a wish. You wanna hear it?"
"Yeah. Why don't you show me?"
Joel indulged in Sephie for the better part of the next hour, recklessly imbibing in her and her in him - they collapsed in a sweaty, sticky heap on the couch once more.
"I love you, Joel," she said quietly. She sounded tired, and Joel was feeling the adrenaline of having her with him in the workshop beginning to wear off. "It doesn't matter how long it takes. It matters only that you're the one waiting for me at the end of the road ahead."
"That's deep, Seph."
"I'm serious, Joel. I don't want anyone else. I haven't wanted anyone else since the first time we met. That sounds so stupid because I was so young, but I just knew."
She looked at him tenderly. Not even Espee looked at him that way. He felt special. He stared into those beautiful green eyes and felt in that moment that he, too, knew. He'd known from the first time he'd had her in the back of that truck that she was more than just a fling, and the words came like water to his lips.
"I'll do everything I can, Seph. I love you."
She looked at him as if she was expecting more but said nothing.
"I'm glad you came tonight," Joel said to her as she snuggled against him. "We'll have to be up early to get you out before Shandi shows up, but..."
"I know. Let's enjoy this, just for now. Like husband and wife," she said. "Like my dreams."
Joel closed his eyes and fell asleep with Sephie in his arms. For tonight, the world is alright.