Joel
29th of April, 649
"I'm sorry, Joel, but I've got to cancel on you for lunch today. I got home late and just completely crashed out, I'm so sorry! I'll make it up to you, I promise," The message on Joel's SGNL device read. He sighed and slipped it back into his pocket as the workshop around him banged and bustled with clangorous noise. 39, Joel thought, his back aching from the unpleasant sleep of the night before. 39, and not getting a minute younger.
Espee had seemed relieved to see him when he finally came to bed, and Lucas had somehow made it the rest of the Dumbass Davis episode without anything rude to say - he knew that the boy had been through enough in his life and that those sorts of outbursts weren't too uncommon, but Joel had always felt ruffled when they happened, nonetheless.
The morning in the workshop had been busier than usual - it was almost noon now, and Lucas had been allowed to stay at home given his embarrassment over the argument - Joel and his crew had been double-timing things on top of that so that Joel would be able to go home for the evening early.
A large truck was just finishing another delivery of parts from Fort Arcturus, one of the Empire's military bases in northern Velus. The driver had been curt with Joel, as all the Empire folk not named Victor had been - they would have their work cut out for them for at least the next several weeks.
"Start getting ready to head out," Joel said as Shandi drove by on a forklift. "We're shutting down for the day. You guys have worked your asses off." Shandi waved as Joel felt the SGNL in his pocket buzz once more. He ignored it until it buzzed again and began to walk towards the office for some privacy. He knew Sephie was up to something, he just didn't know what, exactly.
Just as Joel sat down at the desk, there was a knock at the door.
"Come on in," Joel said, and Billy waved at him.
"Hey, Joel. Me and Shandi are good to roll. You need anything from us?"
"Nah, you're good. Go enjoy the sunshine."
"Right on, right on. We'll see ya tomorrow morning. Have fun tonight!"
The SGNL buzzed in Joel's pocket twice more as Billy spoke, and as Billy closed the door behind him, Joel fished the device from his pocket and confirmed his suspicions.
"I hope you're not too mad," the first message read. "I mean it Joel, I'll make it up to you," the second followed.
"Don't worry about it," Joel replied, knowing the can of worms he was unleashing.
"Joel!! How could I not worry about it? It's your birthday and I'm stuck up here watching Ciara's stupid cat until the boarder's opens again in an hour. It's a stupid reason, yeah. And I slept in til like 1030, too! What am I even doing? I was just looking forward to seeing you."
"Seph. Don't worry, I mean it."
"I know, I know, but ugh! I wanted to see you one more time before we head back up north, alright? What do you have going on tonight?"
Joel felt his stomach somersault, but he responded anyway. "Dinner with the family. Not sure how late we'll be out."
"Oh, fun! Don't eat TOO much, okay? Let's talk later, I gotta run for now. Maybe I'll see you tonight."
Joel didn't write back. He slid the SGNL back into his pocket and leaned back in his chair as far as he could go, unleashing a deep sigh. The trouble you are in, Joel Leonart. The trouble you are in.
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"Well now, don't you look dapper," Espee said, coming up behind Joel and resting her head on his shoulder as she gave him a once-over in the mirror. "Getting a little tight around the belly there, but you don't look a day over 34," she grinned and patted him on the back.
"Hey, this shirt's about that old," Joel smirked as Espee moved back towards the bed. He ran a comb through his hair. "Better steer clear of all that before-bed ice cream, huh?"
"I suppose," she shrugged. "But I don't know, I sorta like you with a little bit of a paunch. Still so handsome. Our twenties may be behind us, but the best is still to come, as they say." Espee pulled her shirt over her head and tossed it into the hamper, and Joel couldn't help but try to sneak a peek. "Can't believe Ceres is getting ready to go off to college. Time goes too fast, doesn't it?"
"Of course. Feels like only yesterday she was a baby."
"Time goes, but our love remains," Espee said, unhooking her bra and rolling her shoulders. She winked at Joel as she caught him gawping. "Strange to think how much has changed in the last two decades, huh?" Espee rummaged through their closet and came back out holding a cream colored blouse. "What do you think? Will this look good?"
Joel knew Espee knew how he was staring at her, and she cracked a wide smile.
"You'd look good in a burlap sack, Esp," Joel said. He couldn't help still feeling that same electricity he'd felt the first time he'd laid eyes on her.
"Oh? Is that a challenge?" Espee said, scrunching her mouth as she took a bra from the dresser. "Here, gimme a hand with this thing, I don't know why it's so tricky sometimes but..."
Joel helped with the clasp but found himself pressed against her back. Espee pulled away from him.
"Oh, aren't you forward! I was thinking perhaps we could do that later tonight. Don't want to keep our reservations waiting now, do we?"
She pulled the blouse over her head and Joel found his mind racing in split directions - Espee wasn't a bad wife, on the contrary - he wondered why she'd ever settled for him in the first place. But for him to have done the things he'd done with Sephie, he wondered what it was between him and Espee that was so hopelessly broken in the first place. He didn't blame Espee for it, nor Ceres or even Lucas. The moment of clarity felt sobering, but Joel forced the thoughts back into their box - it wasn't the first time those thoughts had upwelled, and Joel knew it certainly wouldn't be the last.
"Now look at you," Espee said, looking him over. "You've always looked great in that shade of blue, Joel. Almost 40 and looking like that, huh? Might ought to put a collar on you one of these days so that people know who you belong to... wouldn't want you taken from me." She stepped up to him and gave him a quick peck.
"I'm not a dog, Esp," Joel smirked. A dog, huh? You certainly are a dog, Joel. "Hey, hold on a sec - are those the earrings from that trip we took to Cape Hale?"
"For our tenth? Of course. I've always loved these."
"Thought you'd forgotten about them; I never see you wearing them."
"Well, they're for special occasions. Thought I'd break them out tonight for you. I do love them, you know."
"Mom! We're ready!" Ceres called from the hallway and Espee turned towards the door.
"We'll be down in a few! Tell Lucas to brush his teeth!"
"Okay, Mom!"
"I'd best get out there," Espee said. "You finish up and we'll see you downstairs, okay?"
Espee left the room and Joel felt the weight of the SGNL in his pocket - the messages from Sephie had been on his mind heavily all day long. He thought about them as he tied his tie haphazardly - it'd been a tremendously long time since he'd had to tie one of these things, but he eventually figured it out. He checked the SGNL at last - no new messages from Sephie or anyone else for that matter - but her last message stung him with its barbed hooks. "Perhaps I'll get to see you tonight," it had read, and his mind swam with it.
To blazes with you, Joel Leonart. To blazes with you for craving her the way you do.
Joel deleted the message thread and forced the SGNL back into his pocket.
Resist her, you fool. Resist her. Her touch. Her smell. The feeling of her lips against yours, the touch of her bare skin against your...
Joel shook the rogue thoughts as he left the bedroom and into the hall. Down below in the living room, Lucas sat with his head tilted back, staring up at the ceiling. Ceres sat against him, her head leaning on his shoulder, dressed in a pastel pink sundress. It startled Joel that she actually smiled at him when he came down the stairs.
"Everyone ready to go?" Joel asked, and Espee entered the room with keys in hand. His pocket vibrated again as Espee jingled them and they followed her out to the car.
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The crowd at the bar at the Copper Stallion hooted and hollered at the Technivisions mounted on the wall above the liquor shelves. Joel saw runners on a racetrack and hearing the cheering section was helping to keep his mind off of other things as they waited for their food.
An older waitress came by the table, breaking his distraction. "For midweek, this place is nuts," she said, shaking her head. Joel read her name tag - Paula. "Sorry about the delay and stuff," she grunted, forehead sweating. "Don't know why it's so busy but hey, can I get y'all anything while you wait? Drinks or somethin'? Goddess knows I could use one right about now," she laughs.
Espee raised her eyebrow as she looked between Joel and Paula. "Probably all in town for his birthday," she said slyly. Ceres looked at Espee, surprised.
"Mom," she urged, "now they're gonna sing to him and it's gonna be so embarrassing and..."
"Oh, a birthday, is it now? Had one of those myself not too long ago," Paula smiled. "Good time of year for it."
Lucas squirmed awkwardly at the small talk.
"I'll have... hm. Whiskey on the rocks, if you'd be as kind," Joel said. "Espee, what about you?"
"Just more water," Espee said, sipping from her glass as she moved the ice cubes around the bottom of her cup with her straw.
"Cool, great. Whiskey for the birthday boy and a water for the missus, coming right up," Paula nodded as she walked off towards the bar.
"Whiskey, huh?" Espee said, giving Joel a gentle nudge. "Hope we don't have to carry you out of here. Remember that time we came here and you..."
"Mom," Ceres hissed, and Joel could tell she was embarrassed.
Paula returned with the drinks just as another waiter set appetizers down on the table - a smattering of unhealthy, fried foods and some more health-conscious fare for Ceres.
You're gonna miss all of this when you leave this place, Joel thought as he thanked the waiter and snatched a mozzarella stick from the basket. Ceres and Espee reached for the same one and the two locked eyes in stalemate, only for both to be thwarted by Lucas. Joel's attention began to leave the table again - another roar from the crowd at the bar distracted him as his thoughts lazily idled over the table's conversation - Espee and the kids ate and talked about goings-on at school.
Then, Joel's SGNL rang, startling him as if he'd been sprayed with ice water. Why was it ringing?
"You gonna answer that?" Lucas asked, a long string of cheese hanging from his lip as he chewed.
"Probably not. What could it be this time of the evening, anyway? The guys know where I'm at, and we left the workshop hours ago." Joel speared lettuce on his fork and tucked into his salad so as not to have to reply further to the inquiry. He hoped he wasn't coming off too defensive.
"Maybe it's someone calling to wish you a happy birthday?" Espee smiled as she chewed her own salad. She gently transferred the grape tomatoes from hers onto Joel's plate with a playful look.
"Maybe it's a telemarketer," Ceres said. "I keep getting calls about my car warranty expiring, and I don't even have a car yet."
Lucas stifled a laugh and the mood shifted from fear and nerves back to levity, and Joel felt grateful for that.
"So anyway, Dad, how's the project going? Lucas keeps talking my ear off about it," Ceres asked. The stress in Joel's shoulders began to ebb away.
"It's going," Joel said, wiping his mouth. "Only a few weeks left. We're about to start the final stages of assembly next week, and then it'll be all about testing it to make sure it works."
"It's a Terradrill," Lucas said, and Joel shot him a stern glance. "Oh, my bad. I'm sorry, I didn't think..."
Ceres leaned forward over the table. "No way, shut up, you have a Terradrill in the shop? And you didn't say anything to me?"
A few people nearby turned around to look at the commotion but quickly went back to their meals and conversations.
"Didn't know you'd be so interested," Joel said, and Ceres smiled widely. "But I'm sure one of these afternoons we could have you swing by the shop and check it out? Maybe when school's out?"
"And maybe you could even work with Lucas for a day on it?" Espee suggested.
"I've always wanted to see one up close," Ceres nodded, eyes bright. "Is it true that they can burrow down over a mile into Terracius' crust?"
Joel looked at Lucas, who just shrugged. "Well, you sound like the expert, Cer. I don't know for sure. All I know is that we're building it, and the sucker's huge."
"Do you get to see it in action? Can I drive it when it's done?"
"Ceres," Espee said in a calming tone. "Breathe."
Ceres reluctantly took a deep breath and calmed herself. She plucked a celery stick from the basket and took a crisp bite. "Oh, I'm sorry. That's just... well, it's cool, that's what. New Technica like that is just so uncommon in the wild and it's amazing and I've been reading this magazine I found at school and..."
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After some time, Paula returned with the four's meals, and they dug into the food greedily.
"So what's going on when this whole drill business is done, Dad?" Ceres asked, wiping her mouth.
"Not sure yet," Joel said, buttering his potatoes. "It's looking like it might be the last real big thing we do for a while though." Joel took a moment to veil his smile, knowing that if they were successful with this job that they'd be able to get out of Cygnus and back into the comfortable mountains of Alaeris.
Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.
"Really?" Ceres' eyes lit up, surprised.
"Really," Joel nodded. "This is a good job, so to speak. Might take care of us for a while."
"We can hope," Espee cautioned, placing her hand on Joel's leg. "Would be lovely not to have to worry so much about the future, though."
"We'll have to see," Joel smiled, placing his hand over hers and giving it a gentle squeeze. "Don't wanna get anyone's hopes up quite yet, but we might even be able to get away on a nice summer vacation after this one. Might even be able to afford a few days in the Minervas..."
"Oh, no way!" Lucas interjected, uncharacteristically excited. "I just read in Terracius Cartographia last month that there's a volcano on one of the islands, I think it's Telos, and it's overdue to erupt and it might -"
"Lucas," Ceres said, and he quieted, startled and sheepish.
"Ceres," he countered, "if you can get as excited as you do about Technica, I can geek out about this, okay? Look, so, there's a volcano there that's overdue to erupt, right? They said that when it eventually does blow that the plume will be so big that it might block out the sun for most of the northern hemisphere. Isn't that nuts?"
"I don't know what else to call that besides probably a bad time," Espee said, moving some pasta around her plate. "But it doesn't sound like it would be much fun. Joel, where else do you think we could go instead?"
"Hm. Hartel Isle's supposed to be nice in the summertime. That's out east past Elegir - might be too rainy in the highlands, though."
"But the history," Lucas said eagerly. "Ah, man! That place is so cool with the castles and the old farms and the..."
"I think anywhere we end up will be better than here," Ceres interrupted.
"Hey, excuse me," Paula said, holding a glass in her hand. "The two guys over there wanted me to bring you this, Mr. ... uh, Joel, is it? They said, 'Happy birthday, you sexy old bitch!' Their words, not mine. Don't tell my boss I said that." She placed the glass down in front of Joel as he looked over the bar to see Stingray and Billy Rodriguez trying not to lose their composure.
"Chug it!" Stingray yelled. Espee rolled her eyes and Ceres looked as if she just wanted to disappear completely. Lucas' smirk told Joel that at least he was enjoying it.
Bottoms up, Joel thought as whatever was in the glass burned all the way down. "Blech, what'd ya make me drink, drain cleaner?" Joel called across the restaurant as Billy completely broke down in laughter.
With that behind him, Joel felt ready for a good nap. The SGNL in his pocket had other plans as it buzzed once more. The noise of the bar and restaurant drowned out the sound this time, but Joel felt the cold sweat gathering on his neck.
The rest of the meal was a quiet affair as Joel and the others stuffed themselves full, and Joel was grateful for the silence.
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Sometime around 2030, Espee pulled the car into the garage. Joel had been feeling mostly alright after the drinking, as he usually did, but other things were still keeping him unsettled and uneasy. Ceres and Lucas bid him and Espee goodnight as they went off into their own bedrooms upstairs, and Joel and Espee retreated into their own bedroom. Joel noticed how Espee seemed to float across the room as they stripped down out of the night's regalia into something more immediately comfortable.
Thoughts of Sephie flickered across his mind's eye as Joel slipped the belt out of the loops and took off his khaki pants. The two images intertwined with a ghostly glow in the low light of the bedroom. Joel blinked hard, tired. Espee went into the bathroom as he sat down on the bed in his boxers, undoing the buttons on his shirt.
"Going to take a quick shower," Espee said, cracking the door a smidge. "Be right out. Don't fall asleep without me."
Joel laid back on his pillow, trying to keep his mind off the intruder within. The fact that Sephie had chosen to come along with Victor and Ciara on their vacation, so close to where he was... it was rattling him. The several hours it'd take to get from Costa Sintra to Velus rattled him even moreso - was she staying at a motel or something along the way? What was she even thinking? On top of that, with Victor and Ciara out of the way for the evening on their rendezvous into the isles, Cybele only knew what Sephie had planned for him.
Seeing her might not be too bad, Joel thought, counting the dots of spackle on the bedroom ceiling. With Espee out of sight, Sephie slipped back into full color in his mind, hot nights in the Technica Academy dorm room coalescing into vivid memories. He felt his breathing change as he thought about the way her body pressed to his, as he always felt when he thought of those touches - they were engraved in him now, as he wondered if he was in her. The right person at the wrong time, he resigned himself to thinking, but yet his chest ached, his stomach churned, and the desire, above all else, burned.
He hadn't realized how long he'd been fantasizing as Espee stepped out of the bathroom, towel on her hair and robe around her body, loosely tied. "Did you have a good night tonight, love? Aside from how busy it was, I think all in all that went pretty well, don't you?"
"Could've been a lot worse," Joel smiled, grateful for the break in the downward spiral of thought. "But yeah. I had a good time, and it was nice to be out, the four of us like that."
"Who knows how many more chances we'll get like that?" Espee asked, sitting down on the other side of the bed. Joel could smell her soap and the ephemeral image in his head shifted back towards Espee now. "With Lucas and Ceres graduating, this house is likely to be empty soon besides us. It's a weird feeling, isn't it?"
"It is," Joel nodded. "Was nice to see Ceres smile, too."
"I'm glad you noticed. She's been talking a lot to me about wanting to try harder to communicate with you. I don't know how much you've been around for her to actually try, but at least she still cares. That much is still good."
"Absolutely. Hopefully I can make good on that vacation when things settle down. Might have to wait until autumn, but it'll be nice when we finally get to go somewhere that isn't flatlands for miles."
"You can say that again," Espee said, rolling on her side to face Joel. He got more than a good look at her as her robe hung loosely to her top, and she smiled at him. "So tell me, Joel, how are you feeling after that thing Stingray sent you? Are you doing okay?"
Joel wasn't expecting that question considering the assumptions in his head. He still felt pretty strange after drinking, but most of the initial drunk feeling had long since worn off. "Fine, I guess?"
"You look a little off though." She studied his face and sat up, placing her hand on his cheek. "Something bothering you?"
"No," Joel lied. "Stressed about making sure that damn project is done on time. So much of our future rides on that, you know it."
"Hm," Espee said, giving his stubbly cheek a stroke. "Well, it'll probably be good for you to get some sleep if you're feeling like that, huh? We can take a raincheck 'til tomorrow for things if you're tired."
Joel squeezed Espee's hand gently. He felt cruel for denying her like this. "I'll have to take you up on that. I've been feeling beat up for over a week now, it all catches up on you when you take a moment to slow down, doesn't it?"
"You can say that again," Espee smiled warmly. "Suppose I'll read my book for the club then. Did you want me to just use the reading light? I've been waiting at a good part for about three days now and I'm actually pretty excited about it."
"Have at it," Joel said, stealing a tender kiss. Espee gave his hand a squeeze and turned over to take the book from her nightstand. She propped herself up and took out her reading glasses and booklight and set right into reading. Joel'd always been curious about the things she'd read in the book club with Carmine's wife Maureen, but he had always struggled with enjoying books for what they were. The Street Weaver was the name of the latest book Espee had brought home, and from what Joel gleaned of it, it was a psychological whodunnit thriller. Espee was engaged in it, and it made her happy.
Why aren't you happy, too, Joel?
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Joel hadn't realized he'd dozed off until he looked at the clock - it was 2230 now, and Espee had already turned off her light and curled up beside him in the bed. His mind had departed to scenes from memories locked away deeply - the first time he and Sephie had made love, the time they stole away to camp together under the stars, so many memories lost to the crashing cascade of time apart - but they felt real again.
Joel's SGNL buzzed on the nightstand, and he wondered how many times it had done that while he'd been out. Had Espee noticed? She must not have, as she looked comfortable sleeping next to him. He plucked it up and opened the screen - his stomach dropped as he read a slew of messages from a rapidly approaching Sephie.
"I think I've got some ideas," the first read. A second followed, "Just crossed into Velus again. ETA around 2300."
Joel scanned the rest.
"Everything okay?"
"Should be at the workshop soon. My father wanted me to bring you something important. Please come retrieve it."
Fucking blazes, Joel thought, swinging his legs gingerly off the side of the bed. Espee stirred next to him.
"You okay?" Espee asked, dazed with sleep. "Where are you going?"
"Bathroom," Joel said. "Gotta piss. Had a missed call from Shandi, too. Gonna listen to his voicemail."
"Shandi? What could he need at this time of night? Oh. Alright."
Joel went into the bathroom and closed the door behind him. He did have to piss, that much was true. When he finished, he looked at himself in the mirror - he was scruffy, his eyes still gunky with the brief flirtation with sleep. He put on deodorant but knew any further grooming would be met with concern and potential suspicion. Was he really doing this? Why was he doing this?
Joel came out of the bathroom with an alibi. "Hey, Esp. Shandi called and said we'd left one of the Pulse torches plugged in - he'd forgotten to mention it til now but there's a risk of a fire at the shop if I don't go over there and fix it up."
Espee turned to him, more awake now. "Oh, shoot. That keeps happening, doesn't it? Are you okay to drive? I can get up if you need me to drive."
"I'll be fine," Joel shook his head. "You should really get some sleep."
"Joel. If you're not good to drive, I don't mind getting up."
"I'll be fine," Joel emphasized. "It shouldn't be too long, but it might take a bit to get everything put away the way it should've been. At least he remembered to call."
"I guess," Espee murmured, sighing. "Be careful out there this time of night, too much wildlife out and about. I'll see you when you get home."
Joel gave her a kiss on the head and felt rotten to the core for what he knew he was really leaving to do. She looked so comfortable and happy. What a rotten beast he was.
Joel dressed in the closet and came out in a t-shirt and shorts, something Lucas raised an eyebrow at when Joel discovered him and Ceres in the living room, watching an episode of Would You Brush Your Teeth With This?
"Going for a run or something?" Lucas asked. Ceres didn't look up, her eyes riveted to the screen by a man brushing his teeth with asparagus paste. "It's cold out there. Where you going?"
"Gotta go back to the shop. Shandi called me earlier, but I missed it."
"You need any help?"
"No, stay here and watch over the house. Nothing too crazy that I can't do myself."
"Suit yourself," Lucas said, turning his attention back to the screen. The crowd enthusiastically cheered for an old man to brush his teeth with spiders. "Hope it's not anything I did, though. Hoping we didn't leave that torch plugged in again."
"Ha, well, I'll have to see if the shop's burned down then," Joel said. Lucas looked worriedly at him.
"You sure it hasn't?"
Joel appreciated the boy's concern. "Of course it hasn't. Every fire truck in town would be over there if it did. I'll be back in a few hours, but you two should get off to bed soon. Enjoy the show."
Ceres waved goodbye as the show segued into a commercial for rash creme.
It was a much cooler night than usual for this time in April, and by the time Joel got into his truck he noticed the coldness of the seat against his back as sweat matted it. He pulled the SGNL from his pocket at last and replied to Sephie.
"Stay there if you're there. I'm on my way now."
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Joel's headlights caught her moving in front of the workshop's garage bay door. There she is, his mind raced, and he parked the truck. Night birds sang and crowed as he stepped out onto the ground. The frogs and crickets from the nearby stream croaked and buzzed. There, in the pale orange light of Deneb, stood his heart's desire, illuminated by the beauty of the evening's surroundings.
"Thought you might not make it," she said, slowly moving towards him. The desire he felt was a glacier against stone. It carved him in two. She was engraved upon his soul. "Happy birthday, Joel."
"Seph," he started, but she closed the distance between them. Two halves of a heart finding one another again.
"I hope," she said, her hands behind her back, clutching her handbag, "that tonight has been kind to you. It was a long drive over here, you know."
"You said you'd have something for me," Joel said, knowing the entendre in his words. Sephie smiled and took another step closer.
"I did, didn't I? Well, I mean I do have something for you, it's just not here," she gestured around with the handbag at the quiet evening around them.
"I need to be back to the house in about two hours," Joel said. He knew this game well, and he was losing already. "It's only fifteen minutes to go back, I have time if you need to go get it."
"Well, it's actually inside the workshop, Joel. Else I would've had it for you right now."
Joel felt the hair on the back of his neck raise. Sephie was too good at knowing his every weakness. She wore a violet dress, cut low at the chest. Over it, a familiar cardigan - one he had bought for her years ago - he knew what it meant to her. The dress seemed like it wanted to shift out of reality though - it was sheer to the point he wondered how she could've even been warm out there. Her shivers explained it quickly.
"You look... good," Joel said, and she smiled. Her eyes lit up at him and he felt it in his soul.
"Well, I probably looked better earlier today," she laughed. "Much warmer on the coast than it is here, I'm afraid. You don't look too bad yourself, you know. I'm getting a little too cold though in this - could we please head inside?"
"I can unlock the door if you need to run in and grab what you called me about," Joel said, his last line of defense in miserable trouble. You were already defeated the moment you lied to Espee, he thought with loathing.
"Hm. No, I need you in there too. It's part of it."
Sephie was not good at obfuscating her desires, and Joel knew that she usually got what she wanted. She took Joel's hand in hers and gently tugged him towards the side of the warehouse.
"Cameras everywhere here," she said, shaking her head.
"Good thing I'm in control of them," Joel said as he put the key into the lock. There was no turning back now.
They moved through the foyer together, hand in hand, before reaching the open warehouse floor. Joel flicked a switch on the wall, illuminating the room in cold fluorescence. It felt strange being in there so late at night, even stranger still to be in there with Sephie alone.
"Is it weird being here right now?" Sephie asked.
"With you or just here in general?"
"Both," she said, squeezing his hand.
"Yeah, kinda. I've been here this late before doing work for your father - he's going to be the death of me one day, I swear it."
"I certainly hope not," Sephie pouted. Joel smiled at her, and she smiled back - her smile could've outshone Deneb.
"Well, I'll try to stay alive, then. So... what did you want to give me?"
Sephie sighed and stepped towards Joel, so close that he could smell her familiar perfume and the warmth of her skin on his.
"Me. Isn't that obvious?"
"Sephie. You know that's..."
"Joel. Do you think I'd come all this way just to go home sad? You obviously wanted to come here, too. Please don't hold yourself back just because of..."
"It's not that, Seph."
"Then what is it?"
Joel's mind raced. He felt her against him, she leaned into him. He felt her breathing changing, her breasts soft against his chest and he couldn't help but put an arm around her. He didn't have a chance to respond.
"Because Joel, seeing you the other day... it brought things back, alright? It made me think that we weren't really done. That nothing is ever truly done until we're dead and gone. That's love, isn't it?"
She pressed herself more tightly against Joel as he engulfed her in the embrace. She was engraved upon his very soul. Her fingers caressed the forbidden language of his heart, and he longed so terribly for her.
"Come with me," Joel said, breaking off the embrace. Sephie looked surprised but not unhappy. They moved into Joel's office, where he swept her up into his arms again.
"It can't die like that, can it?" Sephie asked, relaxing against him. "It never went away for me. Not even when I hated you for what we had to do - because I didn't really hate you. I hated the circumstances of it. I wanted that life with you."
"Sephie," Joel said, his face half-buried in her waves of auburn hair. She breathed in deeply against him. Something was stirring after so long of not being able to have time alone together - Joel felt the volcano rumbling long before she said the words.
"I still love you, Joel," she said, the words but half a whisper yet eruptive with the force of a cataclysm. "I still love you and I don't know how to stop that."
She looked up at him, those pretty eyes that knew him too well.
He kissed her. Not a kiss born of a raging passion, but a tender kiss from the remains of a greater fire - he felt her tongue intermingle with his as he pulled her closer. He didn't want to let it end. It couldn't end. This was Elysium, nothing could come close to it.
She ended the kiss and pulled away from him, looking into his eyes. The moment hung frozen in the air, and he felt her writing new words in that language within him, and for the first time in years he felt something strange.
Peace. Even with the chaos and horror that would inevitably unfold from these moments, he knew peace right now. She kissed him again, the floodgates barely holding on now. He helped her pull the cardigan from her arms and threw it towards his desk chair, he didn't see it land. She kissed him with a fire he recognized and a warmth he had craved for far too long now. It was part of him. He knew it to be true that she was his missing piece, and no matter how deeply he drove himself into denial about it, he couldn't let her go.
Those thoughts swirled as she moved her hands at his waist and his began their descent to her rear - a gentle squeeze and he pulled her closer to him, she moved from his mouth to his neck, and he was immediately cognizant of the way she was sucking at him. He moved and she resumed her pursuit of him back at his mouth, saliva intermingling as he held her. Goddess, he loved this woman.
"Sephie," he said quietly as he pulled back from her. She nodded at him, waiting. His hands found hers again, and she took his right hand and placed it against her chest. In the silence her heart beat like thunder. He knew his was just as loud. She squeezed his hand.
"Joel. Even if it's just this once, will you take me again? Like you used to do?"
Joel nodded. Reason had left and control with it. Her dress fell to the floor with his clothes and the two stood naked before one another in the office. The couch beckoned the two closer and on it Sephie laid, her hair askew around the pillow at one end. Joel hadn't seen her naked in years and was surprised in good ways at how she had changed. Her chest was fuller, her body ever so slightly softer - he had changed too, and from how she looked at him, she liked what she saw. It made him feel insatiably hungry to be desired like that.
From atop her, he kissed up her stomach between her breasts and up to her mouth. Her hand found his manhood and he felt himself hard between them as she moved it back and forth. His hand found her wetness and he was surprised and how wet she'd already become - his finger slipped inside her furtively, but he soon quickened his movements. He felt her breathing go from steady to ragged as his tempo increased - he felt how hard he was and wanted nothing more than to please her. She pushed his hand away and whispered in his ear - he moved down past her breasts and stomach to put his tongue inside of her, and she arched her back. He drew circles and shapes as she pushed his head against her.
He loved this. He loved her. He wanted her to feel good and to be happy. Espee never let him do anything like this. He banished Espee from his mind as Sephie came for him, he drank her in with a joyful fury.
"You now," she said, pulling at him to mount her. He acquiesced, and in one fluid movement found himself raw inside of her.
The last time they'd done it like this...
He focused on the moment, his body pressed into hers. She dug into his back gently with her fingertips, and he kissed her. Their desires bore bloom on that couch in his office, the room stinking with the smells of sweat and sex and the faint hint of whiskey.
"Are you close?" Sephie whispered. Joel nodded. She pulled him close, legs wrapped around his hips as he filled her with seed. Joel did not want to let her go. He needed her again and again, but he knew it needed to end - for the time being, anyway.
"I love you," Sephie said as Joel rested against her. She ran her fingers in small circles on his back. "I love you, Joel Leonart. Until the sun burns from the sky."