Jova wasn’t the best place for viewing sunsets from my bedroom window. There were too many buildings that blocked out pieces of the sky. I understood why Mommy had worked really hard for our house in Nivea so that she could capture its full glory and essence. But whenever I thought about her my eyes would get all wet, so I decided to keep the curtains over the window and try to watch television by myself for hours.
Three times, Baldwin suggested I should visit Mommy’s grave. It was only the fourth time that I finally gave in because I was sick of the guilt that plagued me for not even attending the burial. When he drove me down there, near the outskirts of the town, there was a large peach orchard that had a gravel path snaking through the grass. I found it a strange place to have a cemetery. Several other unmarked gravestones surrounded the area, but it wasn’t until he lead me nearby a large, scarred peach tree did I see my mother’s name carved into the surface.
We stood there for a moment. The ground had been freshly patted down, dirt piled on top of the mound.
“I know things don't make much sense right now,” Baldwin quietly said. "But the world is a cruel, cold place, son. The man who did this to you will receive his just punishment."
I said nothing.
“You take all the time you need. We are here to help you. Remember that, okay? Whatever you need, you tell us."
A bird flew over our heads and perched on top the gravestone, its claws gripping the smooth surface. Its beady eyes studied me as I took two steps forward and got on my knees. Baldwin’s shadow behind me stretched on the long grass and blocked the hot midday sun, providing shade.
I wiped my eyes.
”It's alright,” he replied, a little softer than I was used to him speaking. "Take your time. All I wanted for you is to see her again. If you ever feel like you would like to visit this place again, just tell me. I’ll leave you alone for now and will be waiting in the car, okay?”
I didn’t say anything, just listened to his shoes crunch against the gravel as he walked away. The scent of peaches and soil filled the air, and the chirping of birds caused my eyes to burn with tears again, but I quickly wiped away at my face and cleared my throat, trying to think of something to say.
A warm wind blew by, and for a moment I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to imagine her sitting next to me, holding me in my arms. I wished that this was only a bad dream and that I would wake up to have her standing over me, ready to scold me for not taking out the trash again or leaving my toys all over the floor.
But when I opened them, it was just that ugly gravestone, sitting right in front ofme. I got to my feet, my hands shaking. I turned and took off sprinting down the path towards the car, stumbling over my loose shoelaces.
* * * * * * * *
Running a mile and a half was slowly getting better for me. Sergeant Davis had kept a log of my achievements, but I usually did worse when it was hot. When it started to rain, however, that was when things got fun. I enjoyed freezing the water that dripped from the leaves of the trees that surrounded me in the woods which caused little icicles to form, or creating mud pies out of ice. He didn’t like me dawdling in the woods that much so he made me run in an open field, which stunk because there wasn’t any shade.
My legs would be so sore after running it was hard to get out of bed in the mornings, but I tried to ignore it. I didn’t want Baldwin to think that I couldn’t handle it. For months on end, he would simply increase the distance that I had to run, and then make me do more sit ups and pushups. The exercises got boring real quick. I rarely saw the army guys, and when I did they usually shouted a chant as they ran together in neat, organized groups, their muscles popping through their shirt. The drill sergeants would be right by them with every stride that they did.
I couldn’t wait to get as strong as them.
Mr. Karin did eventually come back, but he always had a distasteful look on his face whenever he joined a meeting with the other lieutenants, colonels, and generals. Usually, when I walked down the hallway after my morning lessons from a tutor that Baldwin hired for me, he would be leaning against the wall, muttering to himself. He seemed angry at the world and at himself.
* * * * * *
My sneakers swung from my left hand as I made my way across the field towards Sergeant Davis. My right knee was stinging because I had tripped over a stone and fallen flat on my face. The grass tickled my ankles as I finally crossed the line he had drawn for me in the ground and bent over, catching my breath. A prideful look was in his eyes as he finally pressed down on the timer.
“Five minutes and fifteen seconds,” he said. “Not too bad.”
I laid down on the ground and threw my shoes nearby. He came over to me and knelt down, his hat shielding his face. The black whistle dangled from his neck as he handed me a water bottle, which I gulped down.
“Why did you take off your shoes?”
“Uh...” Something got caught in my throat, and I coughed for a moment. “My feet hurt. They’re getting too tight. So I just decided to run without them.”
A look of concern spread on his face as he examined them, feeling at the worn material with his thumb. “Ah. You’ve worn them out thin. But we can’t have you run barefoot, because you’ll get injured. Not good. Don’t worry, we’ll get you a new pair.”
I sighed. I had been doing it for a while, and it felt amazing to feel the soil between my toes. As I squeezed those pitiful, dirty sneakers back on I got up. Sergeant Davis gave me a confused look.
“Where are you going, son?”
“Aren’t I supposed to do more sit ups?”
“No, no, not today. Follow me. The scientists have something planned for you. It’s in the other field nearby, so you won’t be going to the building.”
None of this made sense. It wasn’t Tuesday or Thursday, so the lab shouldn’t have been calling me in. I held my breath as we walked down the dirt path in the woods where I had just finished running. The water bottle in my hand felt cool against my skin as we stepped into a grassy area, this time where no Red Mamba soldiers were present. Several men and women wearing their white lab coats were walking around, talking. It was weird seeing them outdoors.
Baldwin stood near his car with other government officials. A look of relief spread across his face when he saw us coming out of the woods and began to approach us.
“You’re just in time!” he exclaimed. Sergeant Davis handed him some paperwork and saluted him before walking away without a word. He disappeared in the crowd.
“I don’t understand.”
Baldwin clamped a hand on my shoulder. “It’s just another test that they’re doing. They want to see how you would use your ability, say if someone was to attack you. This won’t take long, and then we’ll go back for a nice lunch. I know you’re tired and deserve a break, but just bear with me, okay?”
I groaned. “What if my head starts to hurt?”
“Don’t worry, they will give you aspirin if that happens. Just let one of them know. Don’t go past your limit, they only just want to see what you would do in defense.”
Before I could respond, one of the scientists approached me and made me stand on a red dotted line. A couple feet away from me, there was a three foot trench full of clear water, dug into the earth. It was overflowing and spilling into the mud, soaking the grass and weeds surrounding it. The man handed me a small black device and attached it to my left ear, before quickly hurrying back to his peers.
For a moment, I could hear only static, then jumped when a male voice echoed in my ears.
“Hello, can you hear me, Adlai?”
I hesitated for a moment, looking back at the doctor who stood behind a white rectangular table, holding the same device in his hands. He gave me a kind look.
“Yes.” It came out in a whisper.
“I know that this is different then what you are used to, but don’t worry. You’ve been doing a great job with us so far. I want you to pay close attention. Do you see that straw dummy over there to your left?”
There was something that resembled a scarecrow hanging from two wooden posts attached together. Straw poked out from underneath its burlap skin; its black button eyes reflected in the light. It had no mouth or nose, and its flannel shirt blew in the wind.
“Yes, sir, I do.”
The doctor’s tone slightly changed. “Alright, I need you to use your imagination. This is an evil person. It wants to hurt all of us, all of Jova and its citizens. It is coming for you, to destroy our city. I want you to use the water to defend yourself, to stop it in its tracks. That is all.”
I studied the creation again. Baldwin stood with several other guards, who were watching me in the sunlight. It was too hot for this, and flies buzzed in circles around me. I slapped at my arms and legs to keep them from biting me.
“What if I had a gun?” I asked. “Then I could blow his head off. Problem solved. He’d never come again.”
There was light laughter amongst the scientists, but I didn’t think they realized that I was dead serious. The doctor’s voice appeared in my ear again.
“That’s true. But picture this scenario. It’s raining, and you are fighting with other soldiers who have a gun like you. You all are exhausted from fighting. This evil person, along with his men, have managed to harm all of them, and you have dropped your gun into the mud. He is ready to shoot you and enter the city, which you are protecting. You see this puddle of water. Show me what you would do.”
His words made my throat become dry as I stared at the strawman. Suddenly, he didn’t look so innocent or simple anymore. He was one of those creatures that dwelled in my dreams, who attacked when others least expected it. He was the one who killed my mother, and would kill many more innocent people.
I slowly held my hands out towards the water, feeling that familiar wave of energy overcome me. All conversation ceased as a large, wet transparent wall rose in front of me, making everything blurry behind it. The pain in my head was worse this time because there was so much more liquid, more than what I was usually tested with. I gritted my teeth, and with both hands, directed it as hard as I could towards the straw man. A heavy crunchy sound echoed in my ears, and I quickly took a step back.
It was completely engulfed in ice, about six feet high. One of its straw hands were sticking out of the surface, but the rest of it was buried underneath. There was deep murmuring amongst the scientists, who took more notes. I was staring at my hands when Baldwin approached me. Some wandered over the ice sculpture and began to examine it carefully. I pulled off the device from my ear.
“Good. Very good,” he exclaimed, an excited look in his eyes. “Don’t worry, that’s all. You did good. I know, I’m sorry your head hurts. I’ll get you your aspirin. Come along, it is time for lunch. I hope you like spaghetti and meatballs, because you've earned it.”
My head kept throbbing as I followed him. In the corner of my eye, the strawman’s lifeless form hung helplessly.
* * * * * *
As the years began to pass, my pain tolerance slowly improved. It was a lot easier to freeze water than to lift it up in the air; I started to hate that exercise. I still continued to train with Sergeant Davis, who finally allowed me to learn how to shoot guns, such as a semiautomatic or a revolver. My aim was terrible, whether with water or a bullet, and I would miss my target by a longshot.
Climbing up trees and shooting from long distance was more difficult than I thought. I still hadn’t trained with any other soldiers, but I was able to run faster without getting tired as easily. Sergeant Davis had explained to me that I would have to go through a twenty two week recruitment program before I could officially become a Red Mamba, which was why I was building my endurance over time. He intended for me to learn the ways of a sniper once I joined, but I just couldn’t shoot properly. My performance declined, but I didn’t care.
When I wasn’t training or testing over the weekends, I still spent the majority of my time in the suite. Baldwin had been really busy lately, and his temper got a little worse with his men.
Sometimes, I would still talk to my mother whenever I visited her grave to tell her what was going on. It was getting more difficult being alone, since I really couldn’t hold a true conversation with the guards or anyone around here. The silence in my room after coming back from a long day of training drove me insane, and I would sit on my bed and stare blankly at the walls.
And suddenly, my clothes began to rapidly shrink. My legs hung over the edge of my now tiny bed, and every time I entered a meeting room I would have to duck to prevent my head from hitting the top of the doorway, which I had done accidentally so many times a bright blemish had settled right on my forehead. A few generals would see this and chuckle amongst themselves and point at me, and I would quickly leave to get out of their sight, my face turning bright red.
My sweaters, my jackets, my coats were impossible to get into, no matter how hard I squirmed and tugged. Finding decent shoes were a nightmare, because my giant toes seemed to burst through its soles. Using my teeth, I tore off pieces of brightly colored duck tape in order to seal my ripped shoes shut to stuff my feet in, but that only caused more people to stare at me. Shirts were too tight and short, I was lucky to find a pair of jeans that would fit properly for a while. And soon my joints began to ache uncontrollably. Pimples and acne spread across my greasy face like wildfire. I didn’t care how hot it got outside; I always wore a large hoodie over my head so no one would look at me.
When Mr. Karin finally had a doctor examine me, he held out a long measuring tape against the wall, with the help of a ladder. I stood on the scale he urged me to step on. It had dawned on me how short and tiny everyone seemed below me; I could make out the tops of their heads. As the old man stared at the number that appeared in front of my mismatched socks, he made a clicking noise with his mouth, and scribbled something in his notepad.
295 pounds.
“Growing pains,” he murmured, rolling up the measuring tape. “I wouldn’t stress about it too much. He is right between six foot six, six foot seven. But he’s seventy pounds over what is recommended for his height. He’s been complaining about joint pain, yes? I suggest he loses weight—make some changes to his diet.”
Mr. Karin’s mouth dropped. “But he’s only thirteen. Surely such rapid growth isn’t good for him. Maybe it’s a chemical imbalance of the brain?”
The doctor shook his head. “We could do an MRI scan if you wish, but I don’t think it’s necessary. Genetics, I would say. Runs in his bloodline. He simply hasn’t finished growing. And you need to get him a proper pair of shoes.” He gestured towards my untied boots on the floor. “His big toes are starting to push in because he’s been wearing sizes too small for him.”
”Do you have any idea of when this will subside?” Mr. Karin asked. He weakly sighed. “How many more years? We can’t afford to get him a new pair every six months.”
”Who’s to say? Only time will tell,” the doctor replied, adjusting his glasses. “Completely normal thing.” A frown fell on his face as he glanced at me. “But there is another thing I am concerned about, young man. You’re obese, not too far from the class II category. We just received your blood work results. Your BMI is 37, and that is not good for someone your age. And your blood sugar is exceedingly high—that shows signs of pre diabetes, and if you don’t change, you may have to start taking insulin. It can lead to other health issues that you are far too young for, like type two diabetes, hypertension, and high cholesterol. Try to include more fresh fruits and veggies in your diet, son. Drink more water. And exercise. Get plenty of exercise.”
I fidgeted with my hands and looked down.
Mr. Karin glared at me. “Thank you, sir. I’ll have a discussion with him. We make sure for him to have healthy options, but it’s obvious he’s been sneaking junk food in his room between mealtimes. No more snacking for him.” He paused. “Or candy.”
The doctor grunted and handed me a laminated pamphlet. “Here. This explains all of the major food groups you should be eating more from. Next time you visit, we’ll do some blood work.”
* * * * * *
I started to prefer training over playing by myself. I had all the electronics and board games in the world, but they meant nothing to me if there was no one to share them with. Baldwin didn’t like me spending too much time inside watching mindless cartoons, and still had me go out into the large, empty vast yard. I would spend most of my time with my face pressed against the bars of the gates, staring at other people further down the street, including their kids running around.
There was no point in asking the guards to let me hang out with them; I knew that Baldwin wouldn’t allow it. The children’s shouting and laughter caused a deep pit to form in my stomach, and it didn’t help to imagine that they were my friends. They didn’t seem to notice me, however, so I only watched them act wild in the streets, fighting over a worn soccer ball. I would’ve gladly given them mine, since I had three brand new ones, but they didn’t come near me.
Nobody did.
When I managed to sneak out beyond the gate after the guards got drunk one afternoon, I brought a whole new set of tennis balls and board games in a worn plastic bag, wandering to the nearest park in the city down a couple of blocks. It was so odd to see people walking their dogs, playing with their kids, or enjoying vanilla ice cream and cold lemonade on the wooden benches. The sun was on my skin, and I couldn’t keep my eyes off those around me, especially the playground set.
Several adults gave me strange looks as I explored the colorful jungle gym with great fascination, some of them even calling their children to come to them, taking their hands and pulling them away as fast as they could from the same area where I was. I didn’t really understand why.
I had never been in a playground before since there weren’t any in the countryside. I had only seen them in magazines and pictures. Silently, I sat on one of the empty swings for a while nearby, the rusty chains above echoing in my ears. I looked down at my untied shoelaces dragging in the artificial mulch and wood chips. A little girl playing hopscotch with blue chalk in her hand stopped to stare at the faded duck tape on my shoes. When I softly smiled at her, her mother rushed forward and grabbed her arm to lead her the other direction.
The plastic bag dangled between my knees as I clutched it in my sweaty fingers.
A group of boys played basketball nearby. I stared at them. They were definitely around my age, probably around thirteen or fourteen. I had just started my second year of high school, being privately homeschooled, of course. I often wondered what it was like to attend or share classes with other people. They were a lot shorter, given that I was going through that awkward growth spurt. My greasy long hair stuck out underneath the bright orange baseball cap I wore backwards on my head, along with the muddy baggy jeans and long sleeved shirt I had on—not a great choice for the hot afternoon. Sweat stains gathered on my back and under my armpits, and being seventy pounds overweight didn’t help much either.
They were shouting, laughing, tennis shoes dragging against the cracked pavement, when suddenly the ball got lodged between the hoop and the faded backboard. As they began to try to jump up and grab it, their arms stretched out; they didn’t hear my soft footsteps across the pavement. And when my shadow fell upon them, all four looked up and saw how I towered over them.
Silence. A few them backed away, their eyes wide as saucers. With little effort, I easily dislodged the ball from the edge of the rusted hoop and slowly held it out toward them.
They froze; stared at me, and quickly ran off, disappearing down the paved path in the park area. The basketball slipped out of my hands and rolled onto the now empty court. A lump rose in my throat as I stood there for a moment, watching them go. The small smile that had gathered on my face slowly faded away, and I dropped the bag of goodies I had brought with me on the ground as well. That evening, as Baldwin yelled at me for leaving again, I barely heard a word he said.
You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.
* * * * * * *
The sound of Mr. Karin knocking on my door made me draw my blankets over my head. “Wake up, rise and shine!”
I ignored him when he and a few staff members stepped into my bedroom. As I yawned and turned my head, they switched on the lamp on my nightstand, which hurt my eyes. Outside, it was dark, with rain pattering on the glass. The staff member who looked at me gave me a nervous smile—I glared at him, before showing off my middle finger to him.
“It’s time to get ready,” Mr. Karin said. His voice irritated me, made me want to pull my hair out. “Breakfast is waiting for you. A healthy, nutritious meal; with plenty of protein and fruits.”
When I sat up in bed, I felt the cold air hit my back. “Get out.”
Mr. Karin gave me a tight smile, but motioned to the staff member, who was now fumbling with his walkie talkie. He couldn’t even get it to operate properly, and it made a horrendous static sound.
”Now, remember—”
”I said, get out. All of you.” Frost began to form on my fingertips. “Or I’ll make you.”
“We don’t make threats to staff, Adlai.”
“I don’t care.”
”You ought to.”
I smirked, letting the taste of blood settle on my mouth. “You can’t tell me what to do.”
Mr. Karin raised an eyebrow. “Can we?”
More people began to gather around the doorway of my room. As I lunged at him, two men roughly grabbed me off the bed and began to drag me backwards, securing both of my arms. My pillow fell to the floor, and the blankets were bunched on the other side of the bed.
“Don’t touch me,” I snarled. “Or I’ll kill you. I’ll freeze you in this very spot. I’m bigger than all of you. I could crush you if I wanted to.”
Mr. Karin calmly brushed the sleeve of his sweater. “We want to make sure you are safe, Adlai.”
When I spat at him, it landed on the carpet. He gave me a disgusted look.
I attempted to pull and yank myself free, kicking with my legs at the three men now restraining me. Mr. Karin silently nodded at them, and as they pulled me down the empty hallway, I kept screaming that I was going to kill him one day, that I was going to make sure he wished he was never born.
* * * * * * *
I started skipping my training sessions and sleeping until noon, and tearing my room apart more often, sometimes breaking the window and throwing my brand new laptop out on the front yard, where the workers would just stare at me. I would make a goofy face at them, before flipping them off with both hands. Broken glass was common by my bed. They usually replaced that window five times a month. And during mealtimes, in the almost empty dining room, I scooped up handfuls of warm food and shoved it into my mouth, much to Baldwin’s annoyance. I threw a fork at him; the heavy weight caused it smash against a wine glass, which sloshed all over his shirt. He immediately stood up, straightening his jacket. Red liquid dripped on the ground.
”I don’t want this,” I hissed, banging my fist on the table. “It’s disgusting.”
“This is what we’re having tonight,” Baldwin replied. “You finish that.”
“No.” The word surprised me more than him, they just flew out. Before he could react, with my arm, I roughly shoved the plate off the table. It landed on the floor with a loud clatter, shattering into two pieces.
“Bondye modi li,” he swore, picking at his stained suit. His eyes narrowed. “Montre kèk respè!”
My lips slowly curled into a smile as I began to laugh so loud my voice echoed across the empty room. “You think I care?”
“You stop it.”
A loud, heavy belch escaped from my mouth. I slowly leaned forward, chewing, bits of pasta and steak and broccoli clinging to my teeth. “Kisa ou pral fe?”
His face turned pale, but I just grinned, before cramming handful after handful of fluffy mashed potatoes in my mouth, this time straight of the serving bowl that sat in my lap. I grabbed the ketchup bottle and entirely drowned everything in it, sinking my hands into its soft texture. A thick layer of frost suddenly spread across the table, and he immediately stormed out. But I kept eating, although my stomach was about to burst, licking the melted butter off my palms. As I began to chow down thick bread slices, smacking loudly, I could hear Mr. Karin’s and Baldwin’s hushed voices outside the room.
“Something is not right with that boy.”
“Counseling will be the best option for him.” A cough, nervous almost. “That is all he needs.”
”Maybe we should send him back to the countryside for a few days. Let him get some fresh air, perhaps.”
The sound of footsteps echoed down the hallway. “He is not going anywhere, and that is final. I’m going to schedule some appointments.”
At that moment, I stood up and pushed back my chair with such force the legs screeched against the floor. As I made my way past Mr. Karin’s standing form, I kept heading the opposite direction until I reached the door of my suite. Before he could open his mouth to ask me something, I slammed it so hard it left a mark in the plaster.
Heat was building up inside of me. I yanked out drawers of clothing in the dresser and tossed them to the floor, which led to a large thumping sound. I spied the television sitting on top and threw it against the wall, causing the glass from the screen to shatter. Using both arms, I lifted up my desk, not caring about the contents that spilled out, and, with the sudden burst of energy that came through me, threw it at the door. It crashed against the surface, leaving a huge vertical crack in the middle.
Breathing heavily, I then turned to my bed. The sheets tore apart like paper between my fingers, and I continued ripping at them until they were nothing but ribbons. Using my nails, I dug at the mattress, causing stuffing to fly up in the air. Finally, I began to dismantle the bed frame, kicking and stomping at it with my boots until it began to splinter and fall apart. Using a piece I broke off, I smashed at my window until all the glass came tumbling down.
Repeatedly, while clutching the wooden piece with both hands, I brought it down onto the wretched blue wallpaper of my bedroom, the one with the stupid baseballs, making sure that there was none left. I then tossed it to the side and marched over to my kitchen area, flinging open the mini fridge. Broken jars of condiments, leftovers from old food, soda, I made sure to pour all over the floor. The carpet soon became sticky and soggy. I kicked at the fridge with my foot as it crashed to the floor. Biting down on my jaw, I picked up the wooden block from what once resembled my bed and continued to leave more holes into the walls, swinging at them like it was a baseball bat.
I was sitting on the floor when my suite door finally opened. Mr. Karin could only keep it a crack wide enough because my overturned desk was blocking it. He stared at the mess in shock, slowly taking it in, then at me. I glared at him in satisfaction, resting my hands on my lap, watching the disgust and anger build up on his face. My heart was thudding. After exhaling, he placed a hand on his hip.
“You’re cleaning this up,” he finally said.
I said nothing, just kept my gaze on him.
He silently slipped through the opening, his shoes crunching against the broken glass and wood that littered the food splattered floor. He scanned the war zone in front of his eyes, then raised his hands over his head in disbelief, staring at my destroyed mattress, my barren walls and torn curtains.
“You heard me, didn’t you?”
My throat tightened.
“What you’re going to do is go to the supply closet, get a broom, trash bags, disinfectant wipes, the mop. When I come back here tomorrow morning, I want this to room to be spotless. I want this floor to be so clean that you can eat off of it. I want it scrubbed with bleach. And then you are going straight to testing afterwards.” His green eyes narrowed.
I dug my fingernails into my palm.
“Better get on with it,” Mr. Karin said, glancing at his watch. “It’s a quarter past nine, and testing begins at five am. That is, if you want to catch a few hours of sleep.” He then proceeded to close the door.
* * * * * * *
Using a needle, I slowly pierced my nose in my bathroom, underneath the flickering light. Blood dripped from my fingers and slipped down my wrist, but there was hardly any pain. Delicately, I placed a silver stud I had stolen from one of the maids’ belongings directly into the fresh gaping hole on the left alar crease on my nose.
Several cracks in the wall where I had slammed my fists left a mark on the plaster. I blasted rap music out loud, making enough racket to the point that the bass was shaking the floor, since the vibrations were so heavy. Even when the staff tried to open my door, since I had jammed it closed with a nail gun I had stolen from the garage, it gave me some relief when they had to unscrew the doorknob. Empty plates and candy wrappers littered the floor in my room, and piles upon piles of dirty clothing sat on my desk, new bed, and dresser. The pamphlet the doctor gave me was smushed underneath the trash piled under my bed. Flies settled on them. A half open bag of cheese curls was spilled on my sheets.
The pounding on my door continued. I hung over the edge of my bed on my back, viewing everything from upside down in the room. I softly sang the lyrics to the song. With a wilted cigarette between my index finger and thumb, I watched the tiny clouds of smoke rise, before chewing on a few more cheese curls, loudly crunching them between my teeth. They didn’t even have any flavor. Must’ve been off brand.
“Open this door!”
My hand went around the knob on the radio as I turned the volume up higher, drowning out Mr. Karin’s voice. Lazily, I raised a bare foot in the air, before beginning to cough as I tried to let the smoke rise from my mouth. When the doorknob started turning I scrambled to my feet, rushed to my dresser and hid my lighter and the pack of Camels beneath a pile of T-shirts. As soon I slammed the drawer shut the door banged open, the bent nails rolling on the wooden floor. I leaned my back against the dresser as Mr. Karin stormed in. Immediately, he went to the radio and turned it off.
I kept my head low.
He frowned and glanced around the room, before wrinkling his nose. “It smells like a dumpster in here. This is disgusting, Adlai. What are you doing?”
”Nothing.”
“Why are you in your pajamas? It’s four in the afternoon. You missed your lab appointment today.”
I shrugged my shoulders, trying to ignore the sharp glare he had on me. He picked up an empty candy wrapper and scowled.
”You’re not supposed to have this.”
“It’s just one piece.”
He sniffed. “Have you been smoking?”
“No,” I whispered, staring at my enormous bare feet. They looked like canoe boats.
Mr. Karin held his hand out. “Give it here.”
“I don’t have nothing.”
”Give it to me now.”
”I said I don’t have anything!”
Roughly, he pushed me to the side and went through my drawers, holding out the neon colored lighter and my Camels. “Strike three.”
My face was burning red as he stepped out of my room and into the hallway. A moment later, when I saw a few guards gathered around the doorway; I froze.
Mr. Karin folded his arms and sighed. “Come on. Let’s go. You know the drill.”
”No,” I said, shaking my head. “No, please.”
”We’ve had many conversations about this before. We’ve warned you time and time again. I’m at my wit’s end. You’ve been skipping your workouts, threatening staff, being disrespectful. It’s about time you learned a little bit about accountability.”
”No, no, no, please.” My eyes were wide.
”We’re not arguing about this. You go downstairs and think about what you have done.”
”Please—”
He made a jerking motion with his finger, and when the men headed toward me, I tried to move away, tried to form and direct an ice shard at them. Someone snatched my arms. Their grasp was too strong, and they dragged me out in the hallway, my shouts echoing through the walls. It took about five men to pull me forward—I attempted to sink my teeth into one of their arms. My fingernails left scratch marks against the plaster of the walls, and my bare feet slid against the slippery hallway carpets.
”Nooooooo! Please, nooooo! I’m sorry!”
They took me into a room at the very lowest floor of the building, most likely the oldest and in need of repair; the part that frightened me the most, where it was cold and the walls were metal. As they pushed me in and slammed the door, I scrambled to my feet and pounded my fists against its surface. In the background, the faint sound of the radiator hummed in the distance, and a sour smell rose from the rotting carpet.
“No,” I screamed. “Let me out! Don’t leave me, don’t leave me, don’t leave ME—“
There were shadows at the bottom of the door, and they left. Despite me trying to aim an ice blast at it, it barely made a dent in the surface. The darkness of the room suffocated me; I was drowning in it. I kept banging and swinging until my knuckles were bruised and my feet were sore.
”Noooooo!”
Frost exploded and spread out on the floor. The crackling sound of ice filled the air. My throat was raw as I kept shouting on the top of my lungs. I glanced at the abyss behind me, knowing that the ghost in this place would descend on me in any moment and steal my soul.
“All of you can go to hell! Lemme out lemme out lemme out you motherfuckers——“
I swung, kept pounding on that door until my hands bled. And I still didn’t stop, my screams echoing in the empty hallway. After an hour, my voice was nearly gone, a fire had formed in my throat, and sweat had gathered on my forehead. After giving the door one last kick with my bare foot, I gave up. Hot water spilled down my cheeks and dripped off the tip of my nose. I slowly sank to my knees. The silence outside was louder than it ever had been. I loudly sniffed and wiped my eyes with my sleeve, shaking.
”Please,” I whispered in the dark. “Don’t leave me here.”
There was no response. I leaned my head against the cold metal door and closed my eyes, my breathing heavy and unstable. Trying not to look at the shadows in the room, I closed my eyes. Very softly, I began to sing, my lips barely forming the words.
“Lè mond lan ble,
Mwen pral la avèk ou,
Lè syèl la gri,
Mwen la poum rete.
Ou se yon etwal,
San ou, solèy la pa ka souri.”
I buried my head in my arms, dozing off from time to time, before fatigue finally came over me and I curled up into a ball on the floor. After what must had been several hours, the creaking sound of a door hinge made me look up and immediately scrambled to my feet. The yellow light that spilled on the carpet hurt my eyes due to being abruptly awoken. I could see how it was dark outside from a window in the hallway. Baldwin stood in the threshold, a calm look on his face.
”Good evening.”
I stared at him.
”I think you’re ready to come upstairs.”
”Yes, sir,” I hiccuped, nodding.
“We don’t like this anymore than you do. We want this to go smoothly. If you continue to give Mr. Karin and the staff a hard time, I’m afraid you will be spending time in here every day, that is, if you’d rather keep skipping your lab appointments. It’s your choice.”
“Yes, sir,” I softly repeated.
Baldwin adjusted the collar on his suit. “Your supper has been laid out for you. Eat it quickly and get to bed. You have another experiment the scientists want for you to partake in first thing tomorrow morning. And don’t be late this time.”
* * * * * *
Of course I went back to that blasted metal room.
I made sure to squirt ketchup on the walls in the conference rooms, or, after a rainy day, would slather myself with mud from head to toe and sit on the furniture intentionally, making sure to get the cushions nice and covered. And in the empty hallways, I would take one of the office chairs that had wheels and run forward with it as fast as I could before hopping on, balancing on it with my knees.
When the important officials came and had their backsides covered, I couldn't stop laughing as I ran down the hallways. As they circled the building like hawks, looking for me, I hid behind one of the large potted plants against the wall and rested my head against the wall. When they found me and locked me down again, I folded my arms behind my neck and listened to the sweet hum of that dusty old radiator.
Sneaking into the kitchen and knocking down rows and rows of plates eased the growing emptiness inside of me. I left thousands of their white shards on the tile floor, before helping myself to a giant gallon of chocolate ice cream, which I ate on my bed and stained my sheets with, along with globs of caramel sauce. The spoon clattered on the wooden floor next to the empty container. I dumped a whole bag of jellybeans in my mouth, spilling some on the floor. For a moment I licked my sticky fingers, crushing the colorful shells between my molars.
Jumping on the mattress was a plus after the sudden boost of energy I experienced, and I ended up breaking the bedpost in half. The tired look on one of the workers’ face in the morning when she had to gather my ruined sheets made me feel guilty, but I was so glad to be able to say a couple words to her before she stepped out quietly and closed the door, ignoring me. I gazed after her for a moment, the silence of the room swallowing me whole. Icicles popped up from the floor like wretched flowers. With one swift motion, I kicked at a few near me and rushed out.
She adjusted the bundle on her shoulder.
“Fine,” I suddenly screamed, a dark red haze settling on my face. “Be like that. See if I care. You’ll be here everyday scrubbing my sheets.” My shoes squeaked against the floor as I rushed into the open hallway, watching her form disappear. “Next time, I’ll leave them out of the rain! All of my blankets. And if you miss a spot, I’ll tell Baldwin.” I balled my left fist. “I will. I’ll make you suffer.”
The woman didn’t even turn around.
”I’ll make you suffer…because….”
Her footsteps quickened. My face suddenly burned.
”Because …” My voice trailed off into a whisper. The taste of chocolate ice cream smeared on my face and shirt mixed in with warm salt water.
So I made my messes bigger.
One evening I unrolled several packs of toilet paper down the hallway and smeared whipped cream all over the doors. It allowed the staff to be near me, and for them to stay a little bit longer since they had to clean it up. I held back my snickers as I froze the supply door shut so that they were not able to access their cleaning materials. I clogged the toilets with books and important papers, watching the water overflow with delight and spill on the floor. I chewed through several packs of bubblegum and stuck the pink wads underneath the tables so they had to spend all night scraping them off with spatulas. Once they locked me back in my room I breathed on my window and drew a smiley face on the white fog as rain pattered outside, slowly resting my palm on the cold glass.
I slipped on a rubber clown mask I had found in the hallway closet and snuck down to the building’s lowest level. A maid who was doing laundry from the shadows in the dimly lit basement in the middle of the night, softly humming to herself. She loudly screamed when she turned around and suddenly noticed me in a crouching position on top of one of the dryers behind her, my bare feet curled around the edge. I hugged my knees as she dropped her basket, placing a hand on her chest, gasping for air. But I continued to look at her, wondering what her life was like outside of these walls, her family at home. The sound of the washing machines filled my ears, their green lights blinking in the darkness. I gave her a small smile and pulled off the mask, chuckling, but terror settled in her eyes. After a long moment of silence, she quickly ran up the stairs, only glancing back at me once, nearly tripping at the top, before slamming the door.
And I remained there in the dark, all night long, all morning, listening to the hum of those machines, until one of the guards found me there. Red in the face, he yelled at me for being thirty minutes late for one of my lab appointments. And I spent a lovely evening in that metal room, softly singing to myself, chewing bubble gum. Under my sweatshirt I pulled out a checker board and a flashlight, with a stash of chocolate chip cookies I had stolen from the kitchen. Finally being able to see properly in the dark, I placed the black and red pieces on each side with an imaginary opponent. Then I would switch back and forth, munching on a cookie, hollering, “King me! I win!”
I lowered my arms, my smile slowly fading, the silence in the metal room settling over me. With a heavy sigh, I laid down on my stomach and focused on the yellow slit of light beneath the door, where the smelly carpet lifted. Counting the sound of footsteps coming down the hall. One, two, three. Four.
As I ate my meals alone at the large dining hall table, I loudly clicked my tongue to the sound of the clock ticking in the room, before resting my head on the table cloth. Some faint chirping caught my attention, making me look up. When a bluejay landed on the windowsill, I slowly stood up and held out some crumbs of bread from my plate to take from my hand.
“Hello.”
He hopped right in the middle of my palm as I gently handed him another piece, which he gobbled down.
”I guess we have something in common,” I whispered as he eagerly devoured the bread. “We’re both carb addicts. If you come back tomorrow, I’ll have all sorts of good stuff for you.” A weak smile fell on my face. “I hope to see you again.”
The bird tilted his head to the side. With the knuckle of my index finger, I slowly stroked his brightly colored feathers, cradling him in my hands. And as he flew off, water settled in my eyes and my throat burned as I glanced at the empty table.
Freezing the pipes in the entire building delighted me, and one morning, I stole Baldwin’s key and flooded his office. When he managed to get the door open, I sprayed him with a heavy blast of water, causing him to slide backwards and hit his back against the wall. He made sure that he had supervision on me all the time for the next month and a half. And I spent two days straight in the metal room, with my meals passed to me underneath the door and only being let out for bathroom breaks.
Usually it was hard for me to sleep at night. I curled up into a tiny ball under my sheets, hugging my pillow against me. The tightness in my chest still remained, and my nose would be stuffy for hours.
Then I would sit up and watch the shadows dance on the walls in my darkened bedroom.
* * * * * * * * *
On the night of my eighteenth birthday, the melted wax from the candles in my chocolate cake on my desk stuck to the icing. I lit them myself, watching them get shorter and shorter until they transformed into little stubs. The crumbs from the plate sat on the wooden surface. I slowly put down the knife and rested my chin on my arm, staring at the frosting behind my hair. In the background, programs from my television filled the dreadful silence. Even when it switched towards that stupid laundry detergent commercial, I barely lifted my head.
”Oh, Jimmy, look at these sheets,” a woman’s voice drawled from the screen. The colors of her bright orange dress bled into her skin. “I’ve washed them a hundred times, and they still look like the dog sat and peed on them.”
The sound of the animal whining and barking irritated my ears, followed by a loud laugh track.
“Don’t blame Ginger now; not our good boy! I know how much you’ve been busy lately, looking after your mother and the kids. I just wanted to make things a little bit easier for you.” The man’s cheerful voice was fuzzy and full of static. “I swung by the store and thought this would do the trick.”
“A…Altizizer?”
I slammed my forehead against my desk.
”Yes! You just pop it in the washing machine, and boom, it does all the work for you, so you have more time for…other things. It’s in three simple steps. First you open the box, sprinkle the desired amount on top of your laundry. And bada boom, bad a bing! One, two, three! It’s so easy, even I can do it!”
The background chorus of sickly harmonious voices pierced through my room with some upbeat piano music. “Altizizer, Altizizer, Altizizer! One, two, three, the more, the wiser. Take the law out of laundry!”
“Oh, Jimmy! You shouldn’t have—“
I stared at the glass screen from behind my hair and focused, causing a large crack to form and icicles to shoot and spread across the surface. Smoke rose from the television set. A small pearl of blood escaped from my nose and gathered down on my top lip. The pixels began to blur against each other, but I wasn’t concerned since Baldwin could always order another one for me.
I looked at the large piece of cake I had cut out for myself and gently poked at it with my fork. When I took a slow bite, I could taste the candle wax on my tongue. The routine had been the same for every year. I had opened my presents; more clothes, headphones, and a new cell phone, but I didn’t touch them. A flash of lightning outside made me look up. It was raining pretty hard outside, and when I opened the window, I welcomed the cool gust of mist that sprayed my face and blew back the curtains, soaking my sweatshirt and jeans.
Before I knew it, I had climbed up the on the wet ledge, feeling ice form from underneath my bare feet. The grass was drenched, and the guards out there were huddled underneath umbrellas, shivering. I held my tounge out, catching the drops in my mouth. The rain tasted amazing. Not too far from me, cars drove down on the street, their red brakelights contrasting with the darkness. There was so much water sloshing underneath their tires I knew I couldn’t give this opportunity up. Baldwin would be pissed again, but I didn’t care.
I couldn’t help but smile. They can’t ignore this.
With my other foot, I pushed myself into the air, feeling the water beginning to bubble and swell around me.