The blanket of darkness around me grew heavier until it weighed down upon my shoulders and crushed my spine and skull and limbs. I could feel the deep bruises on my limbs--hear the gradual shouting of the soldiers in the rocky abyss with me. The boats left twisted lines against the bioluminescent surface of the water, powerful flashlights revealing the camaflouge on their uniforms. Their weapons were raised in the air, pointed at any sound the water made from dripping from the sharp stalactites above our heads. And I had no knowledge of whether it was day or night outside, because several men had been ordered to keep watch at all exits. Being forced to retreat, to herd me deeper, the darkness and silence was all I knew. Beads of sweat traveled down my neck. I counted my shallow breaths, to make them as inaudible as I could be.
My palms and fingers were so wrinkled they resembled the texture of shriveled prunes. What once were my fingernails were now replaced with mounds of bloody, constantly torn flesh. To conserve energy, I found it best to crawl, walk, and swim. When I did decide to submerge myself into water, I made sure to mimic any accidental splashing I may had done in rhythm with the waves. Gravel and rocks scratched off the layer of my skin--the rocks began to close in on themselves as crawled forward in the mud and soil, until I had no option but to swim because there were more ledges I could temporarily rest on. The lights from the boats were ever present.
The large bodies of fresh water shone in front of me--it was an unfamiliar animal to me. A beast. The severed, rusted pipes covered in algae told me that this was only one of the cities we were most likely underneath who had this ripped away from them. And yet, the dizziness from countless hours of swimming and stumbling overpowered me. As I managed to pull myself up on a worn down rock, breathing heavily, I peeked out with one eye under the matted mass of hair over my face. The lights were still there--looked like the soldiers were dropping something in the water.
I'd never known it was possible for me to doze off in this case, but my eyelids became droopier and I let myself go limp against the rock I was slumped against. Such fatigue that I had been fighting against finally won, and when I gave into it, the rhythm of the water lapping around me changed.
* * * * * * *
The ground erupted.
As I jolted awake, orange, yellow, and red erupted through the cave, causing a groaning to echo through its walls. My back slammed against a sharp rock from its impact. Smoke filled the already humid air, and as I struggled to sit up and see clearly, another explosion echoed in the distance. Gone were the lights, but thousands of rocks began plopping into the water, leaving its surface foaming with rage. As these blasts continued, a deep ringing echoed in my ears--the watery entrance became smaller and smaller as the soldier's shouts and orders fell off into the distance. As I frantically began to attempt to swim forwards to that gap, the growing darkness, the force of the waves shoved me away, and I struggled to keep above the surface, gasping and panting, flailing my arms, reaching for something, anything to grab onto to. There was no more cave ceiling, just thick rock and stone, followed by endless crumbling and piling up of soil.
As another explosion shook the earth around me, I found myself sinking further into the thick mud, sharp stone pressed into my naked back and chest. Once the vibrations and shaking stopped, there was silence, with the calm dripping of the liquid above landing into the inky pool. My slippery fingers grabbed onto the wet, sharp rocks tight against my body, cutting into my palms, which soon became coated with blood. I blinked several times, but I could not see anything in front of me.
Nor could I move.
My left arm and both of my legs were tightly pinned together, contorted in an unnatural position. Despite my best efforts to pull myself free, nothing seemed to work--in fact, the sharp corals pushed deeper into my flesh, although I did my best to bite back the pain. After a few minutes of grunting, I leaned my head back, gasping, only the shadows of the towering rocks surrounding me. There was only the dripping sound of water and my panicked breaths--gone were the voices of soldiers. And finally, after a moment of unbearable silence, I began to scream.
I didn't care who could hear me, although I doubted that someone could, or that my throat was beyond aching sore. My chest expanded and rose--but such firery heat erupted from me, and it seemed to leak out and spill around me. When I finally was unable to carry on, I pressed my right palm against the rock in front of me, slowly retransitioning my hearing back to the sound of dripping water. Exhausted, I rested my forehead against the wet stone, watching a faint blue glow creep out from between my bloodied fingers.
The frost slowly spread outwards on the surface, leaving a detailed pattern behind. After trying to take a few minutes to collect myself, I looked up again, trying to let my eyes get used to the darkness. It was difficult to make out anything else, so with my hand, within my range, I began to slowly feel around, trying to differentiate beween soft mud and stone. There was plenty of rock pressed against me, but under my trapped bare feet, there was a mixture of soft earth and gravel.
I slowly placed my hand on the jagged rock in front of me again, sensing the water it witheld from me inside of it. My head was burning, pounding, but, with what remaining energy I had, shut out the world around me, and began to concentrate. The glowing blue light faltered, then went out as if extinguished by a flame. Trying to endure the intense pain in my body, although I repeated this process many times, there was no such change.
After what seemed to me several days of failed attempts, since I had lost my concept of time, I decided it would be best for me to save as much energy as I could.
My mouth and nose was coated with blood, and I was forced to lean my head back, shivering, drenched in sweat. Fortunately, there was a small puddle of fresh water that was in my reach so I could scoop up with my hand and take hearty sips of, although I knew once my limited water source dried up, I was finished. The pain in my right shoulder was unbearable, but I managed to ignore it and settle in the darkness.
* * * * * * *
As I opened my swollen eyelids again, I fell into a fit of heavy coughing. When I weakly turned my head to the side, my eyes lingered on a tiny pink and white curious hermit crab studying me, perched on a nearby rock. The intense loneliness plaguing me became alleviated at that moment. Through my half open eyelids, I saw that it skittered a bit forward, its bright color sticking out amongst the shadowy rocks and inky back water. I tore off a piece of moss hanging from in from of me. Very slowly, I extended hand out, resting the back of my hand on the ground, being still as I possibly be, as I did not want to frighten it away.
The hermit crab eventually wandered onto my filthy palm and began help itself to the unexpected treat. As I brought it closer to me, not caring that it could pinch me at any moment, its beady eyes looked into mine. When a faint smile crept across my face, my scabbed lips cracked and bled, but I managed to hoarsely speak for the first time in a while. The little claws picked up bits of moss, under the curtain of my tangled, matted hair.
"You are very a good swimmer. Far better than I."
As the beautiful creature continued to observe me, I gently placed it down, where it scuttled off my hand, before adjusting my gaze to the stone in front of me. Gritting my teeth, as I had practiced so many times before, I sought a connection with the water inside of the rocks holding me in place, unsure if Baldwin had still severed it. The pain seeped into my head like a rushing wave, but I did not waver. As a strong electric blue illuminated the cave, my curled fingers dug into the rock, the liquid within palpitating like a rising heartbeat. Strands of my waist length hair became white, floating as if I were submerged under the surface of the ocean. My breaths were becoming heavier.
I exhaled, remembering to keep myself calm, sensing the water molecules inside of the stones, continuing to hack up blood that dribbled down my parted lips. Several greenish blue lights spread out from the cracks rapidly forming on its surface. Embracing the sudden wave of energy that overwhelmed my senses, a loud crumbling sound echoed in the air, followed by heavier plopping sound of them splashing in the water.
The rocks that had me pinned down floated in the air. My hands were shaking, the blue light visible in my veins, in my glowing eyes. As all of the liquid in the collapsed cave swirled and smashed against the broken rocks, I collapsed to my knees for a moment, indescribable but glorious pain shooting through my skull. And suddenly, it transformed into heat, and my eyes widened. Pupils dilated. With one of my many tendrils, I wrapped the hermit crab and gently placed it on my left shoulder. My chest rose and fell as the cave wall in front of me gave and blasted apart.
Eli. Here Boy. Fritz. Toku. Kia. Hagar. Malcolm.
Thousands of ice crystals lit up and followed my path, but I destroyed them, shattered them, generating a large funnel of fresh water through the now broken apart rocks. Upwards. Past the ruined pipes, the dreams once held by many.
Alex.
Blood seeped down my ears, rolling down my chin. The pain was so unbearable that I wasn't sure if I could hold out much longer. But I desperately fought to remain calm----any loss of focus would result in the lack of connection with the cold liquid trailing after me. From rock to soft soil, then soft, delicious grass, and ice and warm sunlight. The wind was in what remained of my face, my hair, my skin. As the cold gallons of water erupted from the earth's surface, began to flood nearby cities, nourish people's screams, like a knife, I dragged the cracks of earth and floating rocks across its soft surface, tearing its skin, uprooting thousands of trees from the earth.
Several buildings collapsed and swayed under the pressure of the lapping waves of fresh water, but I did not stop, letting the glowing blue gash split the ground in two, full of freely floating water that rapidly followed behind me. Three rotational bands of compressed liquid circled my body, followed by boulders of rocks floating in the air. My body was going to give out, and I couldn't see a thing. I couldn't see much of anything anymore.
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When my limbs went limp, the blue light had faded away completely, past where the land ends and the ocean begins. My eyelids closed once more, and when I sank into the delicious coolness of the salt ocean, bubbles rose from my mouth, calming the fire in my head, my chest, my stomach. The hermit crab slipped from between my fingers and drifted away into the current.
* * * * * * *
An odd sensation was on my face. Tapping. My eyelids slightly lifted, then fell. A shadow hung over me, no, there were many. Wet sand clung to my heavy limbs, but I realized that my head was resting on someone’s lap.
The sky was gray.
I could see the sky.
Muffled voices became more audible until they made the heavy pain trapped in my skull throb. When I slowly closed my eyes tightly again and reopened them, I tried to make sense of the shapes, the figures around me. What was once formless blobs became more defined—cut out from space.
“That’s it. Come back. Come back to me.”
The blurrier colors slowly adjusted.
”Do you think we should try to get something down in him? He’s practically skin and bones.” The voice lingered in my ears. “So this is the man. How’d he end up out here?”
This is me?
”Stop your babbling. He’s severely dehydrated. Here, give that to me.”
A man with a mustache peered down at me, along with many unfamiliar faces. They wore uniforms, but had blue cloth bands tightly bound upon their sleeves. I realized a blanket had been draped over me, as I was shivering. And suddenly I was coughing, spitting up as water was gently poured in my mouth, but there was light pressure.
Then, I began to swallow, welcoming its cool, heavenly taste. I had not realized how dry my mouth had been, and as I greedily gulped it down, another cough seized my lungs. I sat up and raised the canteen to my lips, letting it spill down my throat and chest; what remained of the hospital gown I was in from the lab. Only then did I realize I had forgotten that I was not alone when a male voice pierced through my ears.
”That’s a good lad.”
The canteen slipped out of my hands and landed halfway in the sand. I stared at the mustached man, who had knelt beside me. He refilled the pouch and held it out to me again, but my eyes wandered to the small crowd of individuals forming behind him. Chills ran down my spine as I slowly scooted backwards, wet sand clinging to my naked form. The edges of the blanket had slipped from my shivering shoulders and matted hair. He said something else, but I could not hear him. The scientists from the lab. They had found me—I was meant to be returned and give retribution for the flesh of the Red Mambas, for their family members. I would stare into the faces of their horrified children: they would see the monster that I was. And I needed to get away from the innocent souls around me, before I harmed them. I did not want to hurt them.
I had never wanted to hurt anybody.
Kill the beast. Slice its throat. Spill its blood.
Instinct took over me as I scrambled to my feet. I didn’t know how I did, but I took off.
“W-wait! Wait!”
I pushed this voice out of my head, but it seemed different than the man with the mustache’s. Losing my sense of direction, I wildly tripped, stumbled, tumbled down over a hill. The bright sun was unbearable, shocking against my skin. The whistling sound echoed in the air, followed by shouting men. Voices. Like a swarm of bees, they multiplied and followed. It didn’t take me long to realize that I should’ve returned back into the caves, and this grave error only sent more terror through me. I did not remember how I had left them, but I knew I needed to return, where its resources would provide me some sort of safe haven. In the distance behind me, there was more shouting, and I rushed through the dense forest, pushing palm leaves out of my way. I tripped several times, but crawled forward before breaking out into a full sprint, although the urge to collapse weighed down upon me. I needed to go down south.
My wife. My child.
My muddy, bruised bare feet roughly pounded against the ground, and my lungs felt like deflated balloons. Despite what I could hear, I didn’t dare stop running. After glancing several times behind me, I rushed through a sandy clearing before I suddenly stopped at what appeared in front of me.
Several more people were visible in the distance, although not a lot. I fought to recognize this location. Naturally, after my days in the recruitment camp, navigation had usually come more fondly for me. But not in this scenario. Despite all the hours I had put into studying maps, for the first time in a while, I did not know where I was.
Beneath the towering palm leaves, were many wooden structures. A torn flag blew in the wind, but not a red and white one—a blue one. It had been tied to a bamboo stick. Several people had paused their tasks to stare at my naked form, where I knew I resembled a madman. After standing in a daze, tightly hugging myself in the humid air, I slowly backed away into the shadows and rushed into the forest as several men headed from these structures. Shouting filled the air. The same blue bands tied around their arms—similar to a dress code. They were here for vengeance. For my flesh. For what I had done to their brothers and sisters and parents and cousins.
Kill the beast. Cut its throat. Spill its blood.
My eyes burned. Trying to muster up what little strength I had remaining in my mind, I dragged myself through the dirt, wheezing, gasping, before running again. Their voices were not faint. They were growing stronger.
Someone was calling my name.
When I scrambled backwards against a bamboo thatch, their shoes crunched against the dead grass. The taste of blood traveled down my nose, behind the mass of tangled, knotted hair that hid my face, that I watched the world from behind. I knew my end would be near, and I had no right to ask them to make my upcoming death swift, that is, if I were blessed enough it to be granted such a merciful fate. Limb by limb, I would be dismembered and ripped into shreds. As I slowly slumped to the ground on my back, hot water dripped down the edge of my nose, my face. My fingers dug into the soil.
“I am sorry,” I tried to shout, but it fell into a quiet whisper. “I am sorry. I am sorry.”
A white blast of ice shot through the earth.
Cool wind caused the leaves to sway and break off. The palm trees around me wilted as I drew the water from its core. Despite the horrific pain settling in my head, I focused. A giant crack spread outwards through the dried soil, another blast of white formed at the shadows around me. Icicles coated the plants and smashed yellow coconuts hanging from the palm trees on the ground. My hair flew up in the wind, and, with what remaining strength I had, directed another blast, causing trees to be uprooted from the ground. A heavy white mist filled the air, and blue glowed in my veins. The voices grew louder, and there was shouting.
”I am sorry,” I whispered. “I am so sorry.”
Blood dripped down my nose and chin as I struggled to my feet, still weakly coughing. Behind my matted hair, many shadowed figures remained still, except for one, who was still attempting to climb over the gaping crevice in the ground. Grunting, with my hands, crumbling from the surface of the earth, a large ice boulder rose forward. I directed it forward; a fresh layer of icicles formed on the ground. Water spilled down my eyes. I could not see the soldiers in front of me well. Why were they not shooting?
“Adlai.”
The sound of my name startled me.
They called it out, the voice much clearer than before. This shadow was closer, much closer than before. Blonde hair, no, almost gray. Footsteps slow, careful. The man had many wrinkles on his face, but his eyes were undeniably real, yet glistening. He wore a military jacket, but it did not have the Red Mamba seal on it. His hand was stretched out. And yet, I did not know his voice as he knew my name. My chest rose up and down as he jumped over the gaping crack in the earth. As the mist cleared, I could make out the faces of several people, but their disturbed faces were not scarred. These were civilians. I was an intruder in their midst. As I lowered my head, a strong gust of frost and snow blew across the trees. The shadows spilled across the ground like ink.
”I am sorry,” I shakily whispered.
Such words that left my mouth were worthless in the grand scheme of things. They could do nothing. Those in front of me wore similar attire to the graying man in front of me. I waited for him to take the first swing, and then the man next would join. I waited to be pinned to the ground; to have my bones broken and scattered into the dark, hard soil, for the dogs to find and use. I found my hands shaking uncontrollably, and when I looked up from them, the man was slowly moving again, gently; taking one step after another towards me.
“Adlai.” He managed to choke out the word.
”I am sorry,” I whispered.
“It’s me, Adlai. It’s me.” He kept moving forward to me, an arm held out to me. Distress and utter shock were present in his face when he observed how my bones protruded from my skin. “Rufus. It’s alright.”
He was only a few feet from me, before he sank to the grass. Immediately, he took off his large jacket and draped it around me. His blue eyes were bloodshot, very wet, and as he placed his cold palms on my shoulders, I looked him in the face.
”It’s alright.” His voice cracked. “I promise.”
”I’m sorry,” I hoarsely whispered. “I’m—”
”Shhh. We’re just going to help you.”
Help? That was the very last thing I deserved—there were three thousand souls that I needed to be with, as Baldwin’s men were following their heels. I tried to tell him this, that I had to leave to reach them, but my limbs were aching—so very heavy. My hands were shaking, but very slowly, he knelt down and silently gathered me in his arms. A few other shadows fell over us, and I felt another person place a heavy blanket around me, the smooth material drawing me in close, despite my body being coated in sweat.
More boots were crowded around me, shadows blocking the hot sunlight. Someone was shuffling through, ordering everyone else to get out of their way. The mustached man looked up at me in disbelief, but a hint of dark hair stuck out of the netted helmet on his head. The sand covered canteen dangled from his arm, water still sloshed from the inside and left a small puddle on the ground. Yet the graying man did not share a single glance at him, nor settle on his sunken, pale face. My breaths became slower, heavier, and my fingers dug into the back of his shirt as I slowly buried my head in his shoulder.
My face was soaking wet, and as I closed my eyes, another heavy blanket was placed over me by unknown hands. My body was shaking uncontrollably, but he did not let go, to my great relief. A bird landed on a nearby branch, breaking the silence in the air.
"It's alright,” Rufus’ voice was more quiet this time. “It’s going to be alright.”
I held onto him tightly, allowing my eyes to close. Some people were murmuring, their words light against my ears, like feathers. Such gentle pushing and pulling off the ocean waves had left deep traces of salt over my arms and stomach, under that warm, soft blanket that pulled me under.