We ran until our legs could carry us no more.
Direction and logic did not matter, not even when the branches scratched our faces and rags. I lost track of how many times I stumbled over roots and rocks jutting up from the earth, causing my ankles and toes to bruise and bleed. Even Malcolm seemed to be keeping up a decent pace with us.
Toku’s hand was still gripping on tightly to my wrist, his eyes wide as saucers as he yanked me along. My arm felt sore because he was pulling way too hard. Hagar’s cries echoed in my ears as we slid down a deep ditch and found a small cave located between a rotting willow tree. The roots dangled loosely like snakes above us the further we walked in. Hopefully there were no bats or snakes or other critters lurking around in these parts.
For a moment all of us leaned against the soil walls, gasping and wheezing for air. Kia kept bouncing Hagar up and down to calm her while Malcolm was half dead on the ground, coughing. Toku released his arm and looked at me with a hint of disgust in his eyes. I felt my mouth get dry.
“H-how is this possible?” whimpered Malcolm. He was shaking quite badly. “T..that...he can—“
“I can’t believe it,” Toku said in a quiet voice. “We were sharing the same food and were underneath his roof. He was right next to us. Right near my daughter.” The look in his eyes sent a chill down my spine as he glared at me. As a matter of fact, everyone was staring at me.
“I didn’t know,” I signed. “I swear, I didn’t know.”
“You brought him to us. Out of all these wretched people, it had to be him. Why? Please tell me why,” he hissed. “Really?”
Kia opened her mouth to say something, but Malcolm shook his head at her and took Hagar in his arms, whose sobs were starting to quiet down.
“You really are dense, aren’t you?”
I reached out to write in his hand, but Toku pushed it away. My body felt weak, and my heart was pounding like a drum. He took a few steps closer.
“I don’t want to hear your excuses. You had to know, based on all the time you spent with that monster. Do you mean to tell me that you never noticed that he could freeze things? No ice? You had to know it was him. And you did and kept the truth hidden from us.”
“But I ...” I tried to sign.
“Did you notice any evidence of his ability?”
Something flashed in my mind the night when I went to look for the Sandwich King. The ice spikes and all, he had done that? And why? And how could I forget what Toku had told me in the storage room? Hot tears spilled down my cheeks as I slowly nodded.
His voice grew louder. “Why didn’t you warn us or tell anyone? And you thought it was a natural condition, like it normally snows around here. You mean to tell me, you took us to one of the most dangerous criminals on this island, who has sent thousands of our people to those camps by destroying the water sources of the civilians? Who caused this mess in the first place? He did this intentionally so that we have no rights, Honda. Because we were never human in his perspective. And you lead us to him.”
My hands couldn’t stop shaking. Kia and Malcolm remained silent, staring at me with disgust and fear on their faces.
Toku wasn’t finished. “I knew that he was up to no good, the bastard. I should’ve killed him myself, I swear. Shame on you. I can’t believe this person was even around my child. No doubt he would’ve sold her too. And to think that you wanted to even be ...near this jerk.”
“But... he’s never treated us unkindly—“
“Enough!”
I bit my tounge and avoided his eyes. Fireflies flew in the air around us in the growing darkness, like pieces of gold on a canvas. Kia sighed and slowly slid down the wall, burying her face in her hands, her long brown hair strewn about her shoulders. Malcolm’s face was as red as a berry.
“It was a good thing I got the attention of those soldiers to follow us. No doubt the civilian was being hunted for murder. Looks like he was something far, far worse,” Toku said. He rested a pale, blistered hand against the cave wall. “And do you think that I’m not fit to lead this group, Honda?”
I looked up, feeling all the blood rushing to my face.
“Wait a minute,” Malcolm interrupted. He took a few steps closer to Toku. “You were the ones who led the soldiers to us in the swamp? Are you crazy? All because—“
”It was for a greater cause!” he thundered. “I got us out of there safely, didn’t I? The civilian would have brought attention to us anyways. It was time for him to go. He cannot he trusted.” Toku pointed a finger at me, wrinkling his eyebrows. “And neither can she. You ought to be grateful that I got you out before that freak placed an ice spike in your skull. You stupid girl, don’t you have common sense?”
“He never wanted to hurt us,” I wrote, snatching his hand before he could pull it out of my grasp. “If he left the army, that must be a good thing, because—“
”Tell your excuses to those who he has sold. That boy has sent thousands of our people to the camps,” Kia said quietly. Her fingers gently stroked Hagar’s hair. “And I don’t care what he is trying to do to change, nothing can make up for it. You can never escape your past. And the only reason why he was treating you—us—like this, is because he wanted use you, sweetheart. You are too young to understand that there are people like this in the world. People don’t do kind deeds without wanting something in return.”
I could barely make her out in my tear stained vision.
”In other words,” Toku said, glaring down at me, “you have been a traitor to your own kind. Do you not understand what you have done? You are defending a murderer. You knew about this the whole time, but were selfish and refused to listen what I had told you. So I’m doing the next best thing for our group.” He paused. “Get out. You’re through. You’re on your own.”
He could’ve been speaking another language, for his words made no sense. Even Malcolm looked shocked.
“What abo—“ I signed, but Toku shoved me backwards, balling his fists.
“Get out! Get away from my family and my friend. You are a threat to us all, just the same as that scumbag.”
I studied him for a moment.
“Now!”
His black hair was unruly and wild, and one of his front teeth were chipped when he spoke. The hatred in those green eyes made me feel nauseous, but there was something deeper behind them, that I didn’t know he was capable of feeling. Slowly, I turned and walked out in the dark night, blindly stumbling my way through the branches and trees.
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Why didn’t I put my family first?
I knew I should’ve stayed up in the city, but I had really wanted to see the beach, which was foolish and selfish of me. It was after a few minutes of wandering around did I find a sturdy tree and sat down underneath it, burying my head in my knees.
When the big yellow moon rose in the sky, I sobbed my eyes out until there were no more tears left.
* * * * *
For the next three days, I destroyed everything in my path, kicking over bushes and crushing insects and other creatures that happened to wander in front of me. There was no way for me to find my way back to Navu alone, since my navigation skills were terrible. I did not eat; the fire in my belly was enough to satisfy me. More than anything, I hated being lied to. Was all of it just a trick, a game? Yet I remembered how troubled Adlai appeared to be, how little control he seemed to have, even as the water obeyed his commands. It made no sense, even after he thanked me.
Nothing made sense.
I tried to be angry at him, but it made me feel worse because the Sandwich King did not match with the Mouse. They were supposed to be two different people, and it was impossible to imagine what he had done to girls like me. And worst of all, I desperately wanted him to explain why he had done any of this, no doubt that he had kept things hidden so that he could easily sell us. Yet, why had he waited so long if he wanted to do so?
He had stuck by us for months, and I recalled that even Toku was stumped by this when we were at his place. For the most part, we were healthy, which meant that we were more than ready to be sent back to the security ward. Civilians never took this long to sell.
How could someone so gentle be dangerous?
My head began to throb as I got to my feet. Pacing back and forth seemed to help a little, although the thick cloud of anger hovered over me. There was nothing for me to but to try to find my way back to the city and look for Benny, although a wave of guilt washed over me for leaving like this. I covered my ears with both hands to shut out the voices, but they kept leaking inside. Had the only friend I had ever made secretly despised me? Or perhaps he wanted to sell me too, no doubt, planning it all along in secret.
A lump rose in my throat.
But then I remembered the familiar pain that always seemed to dwell in those swampy brown eyes. It was the thing that struck me the most when I first saw his face. I wished he had never lied to me; if only he had explained what he intended to do with us. Something was slowly crushing him inside, and yet he had hidden it from me. I knew that he was devastated to go back, which probably meant that he didn’t want to sell anymore of us. The further I walked, the heavier my sobs became.
It wasn’t until I noticed a soldier standing at the far end of the very same swamp we were at days before did I slowly crouch down on my legs behind the reeds, watching him. The man was taking a long shot of whiskey and whistling to himself, oiling his rifle.
My fingers wrapped around the thin plants.
I closed my eyes for a moment, knowing that my whole village would despise me for what I was about to do. I belonged to no one, had no one. Papa and Benny would disown me if they were able to read my thoughts. I would have nowhere to go except for these woods, which was a dark and lonesome place. And for a moment, maybe I was the stupidest girl in the village to go after a threat to my people, walking into a den of lions who could do what they pleased to me.
Then I remembered the Sandwich King’s promise.
No one had ever treated me the way he had, not even my family. I knew that I would despise myself for the rest of my life if I abandoned him. It was impossible to; he had stolen a part of me. Was he sick or hungry? I didn’t know if he wanted to be friends anymore because he was with his kind. Then he would learn to detest me. Just the thought alone made my chest sting. What I needed to hear was his side of things.
More than anything, I missed my best friend.
With a shaky hand, I wiped the tears from my eyes and slowly took a deep breath, crawling forward in the warm water as the soldier began to walk away. The scent of moss and algae filled the air, and insects bit at my bare feet. Every step he took, I made sure to do the same thing as well. If I couldn’t find Adlai wherever he was being held, I would look for another camp.
* * * * *
The soldier I followed after was probably one of the most distracted men I had ever seen, and it seemed like a dream come true. Were his senses lacking? Since it was dark, I kept tripping over logs, bushes, and rocks and the fool never turned his head, singing off key to himself as he stumbled forward. Once we reached the edge of a clearing of trees, he threw up all over the ground and laid down in the mud, snoring loudly.
An empty glass bottle slipped out of his pocket.
Quietly, I crawled out of my hiding place on all fours after making sure my surroundings were clear. Not too far, about a mile and a half away, the smell of smoke reached my nose, and bright yellow lights contrasted with the darkness. No other soldiers were around, although I could see the flag of the snake blowing from a tree branch.
The man’s snores grew louder as I slowly unbuttoned his uniform jacket, watching his chest slowly rise up and down. He had a bit of stubble on his jaw, which was smeared with his vomit. My fingers were shaking so bad that it took me a while to push the buttons through the holes, and the jacket, while big on me, was comfortable. Pulling off his pants was more tricky because he was passed out on his side, but I slipped them on and rolled them up the best I could, bunching them along the waistline of my dirty shorts.
One of his boots were untied.
I absolutely despised wearing shoes, since almost no one at home usually did. But it was part of the culture of the civilians, and I needed to blend in. It took me a while to figure it out before I tied an awkward knot after wrapping the lace three times. That would hold my feet in. I wanted to ask Adlai how he wore these awful things all the time. Just as I grabbed the man’s rifle and placed the helmet on my head, his eyes began to flutter open. I could only stand there as he slowly sat up, only in his boxers. His dark brown skin was streaked with dirt.
“H..huh?” he stammered.
Immediately, I brought the butt of the rifle down as hard as I could, causing him to flop on the ground with a heavy thud. Blood started to spill from the deep gash on his forehead. My entire body was shaking so badly I had to lean forward, holding my knees to catch my breath. It took me a moment before I gently nudged him with the weapon again. He was still alive, no doubt, but my legs felt like jelly as I slowly turned around towards the glowing lights, which were visible from this hill.
Dozens of figures moved around, talking and laughing with each other. Several of them were standing outside the gates, carrying the very same weapon that I had. It felt cold and heavy and strange. Hopefully I was holding it the right way. I would just have to copy everyone else and keep my head low until I found the Sandwich King. Or maybe he wasn’t in this camp at all. Perhaps he had left for another one. I gripped the rifle so tightly my hands turned pale.
I had to try.
With two fingers, I scooped up some mud and rubbed it onto my scar until it blended in with my skin, before moving forward, ignoring the blood beginning to pool on the ground. The scar was still visible, but there was an advantage being in the dark. I just had to be careful. When my left cheek was fully coated with the thick, cool stuff, I began the trek downhill.
* * * * * * *
“Private Jackson!”
I stared at the soldier who was waving to me at the entrance of the fort, which had a barbed wired fence. Other ones pushed past me, some dragging my people who had escaped from the camps by their arms, who were screaming and crying as they struggled to break free from their grasp. They were all lined up in a row, and before I could turn my head away, the sound of bullets rang out. The bodies were then pushed into one of the huge piles of corpses in which the scent of human decay rose in the air. Orange and yellow lights from the shelters blinded me, and I jumped as a hand was clamped on my shoulder.
“Jackson!” the man exclaimed. “You’re back early for the night. You’re finally not on the bottle. Hope you’re sober enough to meet with Sam and Allison. Why don’t you join us for a game of cards? Come on, man.”
Before I knew it, he was pulling me along. The closer we approached one of the fires where a group of people were sitting, the harder it was to breathe. I didn’t understand what it meant to be on the bottle, but I remembered the man’s behavior in the woods.
Quickly, I leaned against the soldier’s shoulder, making sure to drool all over his sleeve. He pushed me off, a disgusted look on his face. Before he could say anything, I scrambled to my feet, one of my boots chafing against my heel, and blended into a crowd of soldiers passing by.
With one hand, I wiped my mouth.