A day later, the earth began to shake.
It was a normal evening, although thunder rumbled in the distance and gray clouds covered the sky. Kia didn’t seem to pay much mind to when or where Honda and I were going. She was too engaged with playing with Hagar, who was squealing with laughter in her mother’s arms, wiggling her chubby arms and legs around in the warm air. Toku said nothing to me, although he kept stealing glances at us and shaking his head to himself, muttering incoherent sentences.
I wanted to tell him to make sure to keep practicing his shooting, but didn’t need to take the risk of making him angry once more. He kept going back and forth to the fort, muttering underneath his breath, like he was looking and searching for something he couldn’t find.
The papers that Rufus had given me were buried deep in my right pocket, and Honda filled the bag with as many nuts and berries as it could hold. To my surprise, Kia gave us both a deep hug, sweat causing her long hair to cling to her body. She didn’t speak much. The air felt warm and heavy almost, like someone had draped a blanket over us. As Honda and I began to descend down the hill, a strange noise filled the air; mechanical and loud almost.
“You hear that?” she signed.
I couldn’t reply.
A warm wind blew in our faces as the drizzling rain fell down a bit harder, causing fog to form. Red and white flags flapped in the air, some being almost torn off the metal poles. Camaflouged helmets were gathered at the top of the machines that were coming up in rows. My skin began to crawl. Honda did not look at me; her eyes growing wider at the sight. Several people were stepping out of the entrance of the fort, pointing and gathered together; some were running back.
The bag slipped out of my grasp and spilled on the ground, mixing in with the dirt. Several shouts rang out in the air. The moment I started to make my way forward, she began to follow me, but I held a hand out to motion for her to stay. She gave me a confused look as I grabbed both of her shoulders, my throat tightening up.
”Listen to me.” It came out in a fierce whisper, my fingers lightly digging into the worn material of her sleeves. “You must go, and don’t ever stop to turn back for anyone. Do you understand? Run until you are far away from here, and don’t come back to look for me.”
Loud popping noises filled the air, and Honda flinched as she ducked for cover. She reached for me, but I shook my head and gently nudged her in a different direction. It had no effect, she remained close to me, attempting to plant shaken words in my palms.
“No, no, no. You find a safe place and stay there.” I tried to ignore the weakness in my voice. “I don’t need you to worry about me or anyone else right now. You have to go.”
Honda shook her head.
”Run,” I whispered. “Go.”
“I come back.”
”No,” I barely managed to say. “You can’t.”
Honda tried once more to sign something. I gritted my teeth and finally lost my patience.
“I said go already! Get out of here!”
She looked deeply hurt and startled by my sharp tone, taking a step back. Guilt immediately washed over me. Before I could say anything else, she had immediately slipped away into the dense bushes. And I could only watch her do so, heaviness settling in my chest for yelling at her.
I tried to push it all at the back of my head. My legs burned as I sprinted up the hill and made my way through the high grass; the scent of burning wood and smoke filling my nose. It was so hard to see, all I could make out were figures in the gray, soupy mist, their screams ringing in my air. Before I knew it, I found myself surrounded by several black shadows, and felt the heat of the hungry flames that began to consume the wooden structure. I needed to find Toku; to make sure that he had gotten out, at least. My coughs grew more ragged and heavy.
A pair of rough hands threw me to the ground, causing me to grunt and land hard on my hip. When I sat up, I find myself staring right in a barrel, and into the eyes of a man who had his teeth clenched. His uniform was neatly ironed without a hint of a wrinkle on it, the dark boots deep into the mud. His eyes widened in shock, and with my bare foot, I aimed at his shin, causing him to cry out. The rifle slipped out of his hands as I swung at his face, before pinning him down. Everything felt quite fuzzy as I pointed the gun into the square of his back and began to pull the trigger, hearing the blast.
“Private. I knew you’ll be back.”
I looked up, my breaths shaky and unstable. Warm liquid stained my jeans, but I didn’t dare look down. The shadows were now soldiers, standing near the tanks that loomed over me. Black smoke rose in the air, and I could make out more crying and shouting as I could see everyone lined up in a row, including Kia and Toku, who shielded Hagar with their arms. Their heads were hung low. The crying of the children became more distant, more faded, and I could make out the elderly woman’s heavy sobbing. She was on her knees, wailing and clasping her hands together.
The person who was sitting on top of the tank in front of me jumped down on the side, landing hard in a puddle. When he came into view from the fog, he was clutching a rifle in his hand. His blond hair was drenched underneath his helmet; the icy blue eyes watching every move I made. As he snapped his fingers, four soldiers stood in front of my guests, aiming their guns at them. I scrambled to my feet.
“Well, well, well. Look what we have here.”
I didn’t turn to the voice. A loud clicking noise from their rifles made a chill run down my spine as one of the generals yelled some sort of command. I raised my arm and sent an icy blast towards them, but another shot rang out, causing a sharp pain to form in my side. I gritted my teeth and stretched both hands out, causing streams of water from the rain to form around my arms. It curled around a man and slammed him against the fort, before forming into solid ice, where he could not move his arms or legs.
A gunshot rang out. Blood seeped through my shirt, but I could hardly feel it as I dragged myself through the grass.
Another arm yanked me back, and no matter how hard I tried to break free, the two mens’ grasp on me was stronger. Someone shoved me to my knees and tied rope around my wrists as another hand twisted my head to look straight into the eyes of Baldwin. He stood in front of me, the lighting casting shadows on his face. A look of amusement, perhaps spite, rested on his pale, clean face. He studied me for a moment.
”I think our little game of hide and seek is over, wouldn’t you agree? Especially after that mess you left behind in Portia; you made it way too easy.” A small chuckle escaped from his mouth. “I see you got creative with...with whatever atrocity you have built.”
“Please...please...” I tried to get closer. “Let them go. I’ll do whatever you want.”
Baldwin sighed and shrugged, raising his pistol in the air. “We all know that’s a lie.”
”Don’t. Please, don’t. Don’t do this.”
The rain around us began to fall harder. “What’s the use, Adlai? I had told you before to just tell me where these abominable creatures were. It’s a shame, really. To gain their trust, just to have it end like this. Now look at what you have done."
With a heavy nod, he turned towards his men. Gray smoke blocked my vision as the orange yellow lights flickered before my eyes. It seemed that everything had slowed down, that time did not exist in that moment. I lost track of how many shots were fired, and it took four men to hold me down in the grass as I saw my guests lying on the ground. Their blood mixed in with the black earth, sprayed on the burning wooden wall where they had been standing moments before. Several arms and legs were halfway swallowed up by the tall grass blades.
Hagar’s blanket was soaking red.
“No.” I wanted to scream the word, but it came out in a whisper.
It was until they finally released me did I stumbled forward. I stared up at the sky, the thousands of drops connecting with the hot liquid that was pouring down my face. A loud ringing noise started in my ears. Perhaps I hadn’t seen anyone there; they were all just shadows, merely imitations of the light. Bullet holes were stuck deep into the wooden surface of the wall; which was all eaten up by the burning structure. Someone untied the rope around my wrists, and I began to crawl forward, ignoring the stares of the Red Mambas who were standing around me.
My fingers delicately wrapped around the small blanket. “No..no...”
“There,” a soldier shouted.
I raised my head. A flash of yellow met my eye. Honda stood between the trees, frozen, as she had followed me. Her hair covered one eye, which studied the bodies, seeing what I desperately never wanted her to. The bag she held dangled loosely from her hand. Baldwin narrowed his eyes as he studied her, before spitting on the ground, digging his boot in the soil. Something made his expression appear glazed over. She slowly backed away. When her gaze fell upon me, a lump rose in my throat.
“Kill her,” he calmly said.
My heart raced as one of the men stepped forward and aimed his gun. I slammed sideways against him, causing him to fall on the ground and swear loudly to himself. By the time he recovered, she was gone. Baldwin yanked me by the collar until I was face to face with him. I could barely see him through my tear stained vision, and my whole body was shaking.
“Leave her alone—“
A heavy blow met my face, my cheek smarting from the impact. My vision grew more warped as I could see three soldiers charge after her in the woods. Something without words escaped from me.
“You will not interfere. I see that you have to take the program again,” he hissed, revealing a gold tooth in one of his molars. “They are not human, you fool. If you had simply told me where they were, I might have spared their lives and send them back to the camp where they belong. But no. You killed them. You pulled the trigger. Had I send them away, you would’ve gone after them.”
”Leave her alone,” I yelled, although my voice was strangled. “Just leave her alone. Please...please don’t.” I grabbed at his jacket with both hands. “Please, don’t hurt her. You can’t hurt her; don’t shoot her.”
”Ah, so you are the one to give me orders. You are befriending these creatures? Not to worry, you can make plenty of new friends when we get you back home. I’ll relish the moment when they bring back her corpse to me. Then we can see who is the true friend now. Disgusting animal. She has poisoned you, and I cannot allow that to happen anymore.”
Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.
”No! No, please no—”
“This is for your own good. You are weak; it’s about time something snaps you out of this.”
The scent of burning flesh filled the air as the flames from the fort began to spread. Slowly, we moved back as large beams of wood fell onto the grass. It was so cold and wet that I couldn’t stop shaking. Hagar’s small blanket grew a bit heavier in my hand. I struggled to break free and get to my feet, but his hold on me only tightened.
In the woods, six gunshots rang out.
Baldwin released me, and I slid into the mud, my vision blurry. He said some other things to the soldiers, and I felt more hands picking me up and moving me somewhere else. I tried to stay, but they wouldn’t let me. I couldn’t stop screaming no, no, no, either, and I kept at it until my head was throbbing and I could see no more.
* * * * * *
When I sat up, the smell of earth and trees were gone. The bedroom was dark and cold, and when I fumbled with the light switch on the lamp, I could make out the bulge my legs made in the thick white sheets. On the side of the wall was a crutch, and several bottles full of pills rested on the nightstand, their prescription labels blurry and impossible to read. Hagar’s blanket was nowhere in sight, and I could hear voices from downstairs. When I threw off the blankets, a large white cast rested on my broken leg.
It was difficult to walk, and I ended up tripping over the carpet, causing the bottles to spill and land everywhere. I was wearing blue pajamas, although I could still taste the smoke from the fire lingering in my mouth. My breathing was so out of control that by the time I gripped the doorknob with one hand, I was panting. There were three other rooms in the hallway, and when I stumbled down the stairs, four guards were sitting at a table smoking, including Baldwin. Two more were standing at the front door. Through the window, I could see the dark night.
It did not take them long to rise to their feet and drag me into the small kitchen area, where Baldwin was pouring himself another glass of scotch. A stove and a refrigerator sat not too far away from us, and I wondered whose house this was; if it was his. The tile floor was shiny and smelled freshly like lemon, as if someone had recently mopped the floor. The guards holding onto me made me sit into one of the chairs, shoving me back. I could make out the magazine of their guns in their pockets, so I knew I was outnumbered.
“Welcome home.” Baldwin leaned forward and folded his hands. "This house is now yours. A nice upgrade from the suite, don’t you think? Hopefully you’ll treat this property with a little bit more respect and not trash it.” He wagged his finger and raised an eyebrow. “Remember, you’re not a teenager anymore. Adolescence is behind you.”
”I don’t want it,” I rasped.
“It doesn’t matter what you want. I truly hope that you learned a valuable lesson here. You are indeed a danger to the people around you. Since you are not in the best state of mind right now, I have ordered a psychiatrist to visit you every day. You will take the medication that you are prescribed, and we have surveillance footage everywhere on this property. So if you even think of pulling something off like this again, you will regret it.”
I finally made eye contact with him. He gave me a smile before sliding the papers across the surface of the table towards me. They were the same ones that Rufus had given me, about my mother’s whereabouts. With one hand, Baldwin reached into his pocket and pulled out a lighter towards the edge of the paper. I could only stare at him helplessly as I watched the flame began to consume it. His blue eyes glowed in the light.
“Perfect. I’ll pay that traitor and his family a little visit, and then Margaret. This is what happens when you don’t follow orders. You don’t have to worry about these people anymore. I’ll take care of them.”
I lurched forward, but the two guards yanked me back. Their grasp was impossible to break around my wrists and arms. “No! No, no, no. Please. Please don’t —“
“You have killed sixteen creatures and three people in a span of a few hours, Adlai. I’m impressed, actually. That’s more that I’m willing to in a day. For now, how about you just listen and do what I say, hmm? If you actually stay in your place, none of this would happen. But you are taking the first step to leave this madness behind. Getting the help that you desperately need, before you and I begin on one of our main missions so far.”
"No."
"I warned you, didn't I?"
“No...no! Listen to me. Rufus has a child. A seven year old girl. Don’t you bring his family into this.”
Baldwin rolled his eyes. “You should’ve thought about that before going to him. Now I have to make the best decision for our country, for you. As for your mother, I’d never guess that she had half a brain to slip from underneath my grasp for so long. You won’t need to worry about her.”
Blood rushed to my face. “No! No! Why? Why did you try to kill her? I...it’s been so long since I’ve seen her. She’s the only family I’ve got left in this world..you..you can’t do this. Please, don’t take her away from me. I don’t have anyone else!”
”We’re getting off subject here, Adlai.”
”Subject? What subject? These people have done nothing to you! I just needed to see her...I...I just needed to see her. You have no right. If you dare lay a hand on her, I’ll snap your neck like a toothpick. You leave those people alone, or I’ll....I’ll...” My voice trailed off into a whisper.
“Mmmhm. You’ll do what?” A smile curled on his lips. “You’re going to try to punch me again? Throw a few little ice darts at me and complain of a headache? When will you learn? You’re weak; there’s nothing you can do except follow orders. Very simple. You can’t even harm me with your gift. That’s how bad you are at using it. What makes you think physical strength is going to be a better option? You can’t fight me. This is the best choice.”
I slammed my fists against the half frozen table, causing everything to rattle and shake. The other guards flinched and moved back, but Baldwin hardly reacted, just chuckled quietly to himself. He stood up and stared at one of the bigger men at the door, who had his rifle aimed at me, before pacing back and forth, his hands clamped behind his back.
“Ah. I see you’re about to have another one of your tantrums. Are you about to cry, little boy? It’s a shame, really. You have more than what most grown men spend a lifetime trying to get, and you still wail. Grow up, Adlai, I swear. When I was your age I started out with half of what you have. Margaret must have spoiled you rotten as well. Go right ahead. Scream. You’re not a man, just a boy. A little helpless boy who cries when things don’t go his own way. Weak. Pathetic. Real men sacrifice, not play around with the lives of those who dwell in our society. You act like a child, because you are a child mentally.”
I swallowed heavily.
“Make sure you keep him here unless I say so. We will bring him in for a meeting, and once he retakes his classes, we will proceed with the mission.” He stood there for a moment, his back facing me. “You are truly a monster so far, caring and luring these subhuman creatures before killing them in cold blood. Just...what on earth did you think you were doing? Did you really think you were going to succeed?”
“You shot the...the little ones. They did nothing to you,” I managed to get out, my throat raw and scratchy. “You killed a baby. She was half a year old, and you killed her.” My voice trailed off into a whisper. “She was just a baby. Her name was Hagar.”
He didn’t look at me.
”Who shoots a baby?!”
“Enough!” His voice was so loud it shook the room.
“They had names." My hands gripped the side of the chair, the white of my knuckles showing. "They are people like you and I."
“Subhuman creatures may give the names among themselves, but they are nameless in our world. The less of them that are here, the more protected that we are. And you, boy, are severely ill. We need to purge this pestilence from your mind, because it is eating away at your body and your soul.” Baldwin took a step closer to me, smelling like cigarettes. “You killed them yourself, because you were too stubborn and selfish to realize in the fucking first place that they are not worth saving. Then you get attached, and now I have to put up with this from you.”
It was so hard to breathe in here. “They did nothing.”
A false expression of sympathy appeared on his face. “Oh. I see. Well, let me tell you this. Every time that you refuse an order from me—“ He pointed at one of the guards. “ — or from one of them, I’ll see to that one of the filthy subhumans are executed in front of you. Since you care so much about their abominable existence. Even if you hesitate, I’ll bring out more.”
I continued to stare at him.
”I’ve had enough of you, these little games you keep playing. You had an important duty, Private, and that was to keep our island safe from these disgraceful creatures. Why? That shouldn’t even be the question. They are not part of us.”
“Why did you do this?" I whispered.
”You killed them, Adlai. They were dead long ago, the moment you started to help them. You destroyed them; shattered their lives. You need to start thinking a little bit more carefully about the decisions you make. Wasting our resources, our food, our water, my time, especially. And so, you have quite a bit to catch up on before we can even get you back on where you were before, whenever this behavior of yours started. You need a full mental evaluation. What you have done...it is treason.”
My throat tightened. He gave me a light pat on the shoulder and began to head to the doorway, where one of the guards made room for him to pass. Then a question escaped my lips, escaped my mind.
“Don’t you ever feel anything? Someone must have loved you before, or cared for you. You don’t remember them?”
Silence.
I rose to my feet and threw a chair, with the meager strength I had. It crashed into the wall near him and broke into many pieces. I could barely make out what was in front of me because my vision was so blurry. He barely looked at it.
“Don't you?”
Baldwin paused for a moment, before looking down. I did not see his face. He was a tall, slim man, and something appeared odd and jerky about his movements, like he was trying to keep himself from falling apart and spilling all over the floor. He almost seemed to flinch from my words, and as he turned the doorknob, a warm wind blew into the house, causing his blond hair to stick up in the air. His left hand began to shake.
Then, he slammed the door shut.
* * * * * *
Outside was a small yard, and a high fence where several more them were, their trucks blocking the small driveway that lead up to the place. I closed my eyes and held them shut for a while, trying to shut out the screams. Both of my wrists were naked, and I immediately remembered the blue bracelet Mary had given me. I wanted to go back downstairs and try to sort through the ashes on the papers for look for any words, any sentences.
I found the bathroom in the hallway. It was a bit larger than the one back in my suite, the walls painted blue and smelling slightly like cinnamon spice. As I pushed back the clear shower curtain, I held my hand out towards the tub faucet, praying that nothing would come through. Perhaps we were not too far from Selva. Perhaps I could find a way to sneak out in the middle of the night, and then....and then that was when it came to me that there was nothing left.
There was no one to return to.
A sputtering noise caught my attention, and the stream of water, weak at first, gradually grew stronger. My arm dropped to my side as the bottom of the tub began to fill up. Ice began to crawl up the walls as my breaths got heavier and heavier, and tears burned my eyes. Blindly, I stepped into the tub, the liquid rustling around my bare ankles and getting the hem of my pajama pants damp. It was so cold in here now, although the water coming out of the faucet was warm. My brain fought to make sense of the temperature difference.
When I sat down, my shirt began to rise up and bubble. I rested my head against the wall, placing both of my pale hands on the surface of the tub, hoping the sound of the water running would drown out what sounds were coming out of my mouth. It was up to my chest now, spilling out over the edges and splashing on the bathroom floor. I hugged my knees tightly and rested my chin on top of both of them, rocking back and forth.
The imprint of Kia’s embrace still lingered in my arms. Hagar’s toothless smile flashed in my mind, and I could almost hear Toku asking me how to aim a gun properly as to not miss any game for our next meal. No matter how many times I tried to shut my eyes, their voices followed me in the darkness. Honda’s drawings, now stained with blood and dirt, blew wildly in the wind.
And then I saw Alex’s face. He was standing in front of the waves, which were crashing in front of the rocks. Wet sand clung to his bare feet and soaked shorts. Behind him was nothing but a horizon of blue and space. The makeshift board was tucked under his arm, and his glasses were crooked, covered in sand, which he kept trying to wipe them off with his shirt. The coral reefs were sharp and covered in seaweed and barnacles. Perhaps there were many different conch shells too, of all colors and sizes. The little boy grinned before sauntering out into the waves, waving at me with one hand.
C’mon, he yelled. The water’s great.
I opened my eyes, feeling beads of sweat pouring down my face. The floor was transparent, perhaps as high as the tub itself. The liquid had gone from from warm to lukewarm, and the banging of the door from the guards intensified. I almost laughed; I could’ve sworn that I hadn’t locked it. The doorknob turned and rattled , until finally, a large wave spilled out into the hallway, soaking the carpet and the stairs. The men stared at me, and I stared back at them, water dripping from my hair and clothing. One of them reached for their phone, their eyes in bewilderment at the mess. I lowered my head and wiped at my face with both hands, gritting my teeth.
The faucet kept running.