Chapter 96 - Illusory World
A young boy stood still by the edge of the dark forest, looking down at his hands with a confused expression.
Like the other boys in this village, this boy was slightly larger and better exercised than a child his age from a mortal region outside of the forest. The children from the mortal villages spread throughout the forest were quite capable since they needed to help their families out with framework or other jobs early on in life. There was also the rich Spiritual Energy which pervaded the forest between the various enormous mountains and helped them to grow up strong and healthy, but the mortals naturally didn’t know about this.
As the boy continued to look down at his hands, he felt dazed.
“Why are my hands so tiny.” He blinked his innocent and youthful eyes. After a moment, he laughed and shrugged, scratching his head and running off to play. Perhaps it was the attention span of a child, but he immediately forgot about the strangeness of the situation.
The child ran past a particularly dark tree. This tree was slightly further into the woods, but it was a type of tree that he would never mistake, since it was one of the 100 year old dark oak trees that he had been forced to chop down in Zong Village.
Yaan smiled as he recalled this memory, but suddenly froze, filled with a deep sense of dissonance. As memories from a life he had never lived entered his mind, Yaan was left dazed, feeling confused, and unsure how to carry himself from here on.
For a moment, a stream of memories flashed through his mind. He was not a child, but a young man with the appearance of a child. He was a powerful cultivator, and this…all of this was…
Yaan looked around. He was currently playing just outside of the village outskirts. Technically, this was forbidden, but the kids always loved to dare one another, to see who was the most courageous by venturing furthest into the dark forest. Honestly though, nobody ever went more than 30 feet past the fence. They really were a bit scared of that place, especially when they remembered the stories that their parents told them at night.
Dazed and feeling an indescribable feeling in his chest, Yaan continued to walk along the outer fence, brushing his hand against the wood. It had been a while since he’d felt this sort of rough and crude texture…
“Yaan! I told you not to go outside of the village! I’m serious Yaan, even if it’s just outside of the fence, it really is dangerous, the guards can’t protect you if you’re out there!”
After spotting his father not far away, waving and shouting at him sternly, a warmth spread through Yaan’s eyes. Despite being reprimanded, something that would have filled him with discontent in the past, he now only felt the parental affection and worry coming from this man.
Yaan again looked down at his small hands, and as those strange, seemingly far away memories stormed through his mind, he shut his eye for a few seconds.
When he reopened his eyes, the memories were no longer present, but the current Yaan was also not the same naive child as he had been in the past. He smiled at his father, before jogging over and walking by his side until they returned home.
The reason for his father searching for him, was actually because his mother was giving birth right now! In Lightstone Village, it was considered improper for the men to watch their wives give birth, so Yaan’s father went out to search for his son, if only to distract him from his anxiety for a short while.
Yaan met his aunt outside of the family home. He waited patiently until the midwife announced the successful and healthy birth. From start to finish, Yaan remained calm and unrushed, surprising the adults around him. It definitely wasn’t normal for a child to stand still for hours like that…
The child was delivered without any problems. Yaan spent the remainder of the day helping out with the household chores, and the following day, he seemed even more eager to assist his parents.
“Are you sure you’re ok, Yaan?” His father asked seriously at dinner. “You shouldn’t worry so much about the immortal inspector, you really have nothing to worry about.”
Yaan’s warm smile faded slightly as a strange light flashed through his eyes. A certain memory entered his mind, but it was forcibly suppressed as soon as it surfaced.
He quickly recovered his care-free face, nodding and smiling at his father to show him that he really wasn’t worried.
His father and mother shared a doubtful glance, but they were secretly thankful that Yaan wasn’t acting so agitated like all of the other children.
Still though…
Finding him playing alone outside of the fence could be considered normal. They could attribute this to him being anxious, just like the other kids, so he ended up straying a bit far. But after he returned home, he was so proactive in helping out with the family chores! Especially with caring for his mother, whilst making sure that the baby was as happy and comfortable as possible.
“Yaan, to take on so many responsibilities to help out the family without even saying a word…” When his father stared at him, Yaan could only force a smile whilst keeping his silence.
“You have truly become a fine young man! Haha, I can rest easy now, knowing that I have a son such as you! Even if I were to die this very night, I can feel at ease, leaving the household matters and the care of the family to Yaan.” The man smiled down at Yaan with a look of pride and amazement in his eyes. Yaan’s smile became a bit more forced, but he then quickly recovered and nodded with a laugh.
“Don’t talk about dying off just yet father. You still have a newborn baby girl that you need to raise properly. I’m definitely not ready to raise a child right now…” Yaan spoke honestly, from the depths of his heart.
His parents noticed that his manor of speech was a bit different compared to usual, but again, they assumed this was due to his nervousness.
His parents were much more relaxed that night than they had expected. Everyone ate a humble dinner, then fell asleep early with almost full stomachs, and hopeful expectations for the future of their family.
The next day, that jovial mood was nowhere to be found. Well, truth be told, only Yaan’s household had managed to enjoy the previous evening, everybody else was feeling extremely uneasy.
Yaan saw the children, worried and speaking to their parents, asking about what was happening. They hadn’t been told anything until now, other than the fact that a highly esteemed immortal from the Heavenly Path Sect would be visiting, and that they all needed to be on their absolute best behaviour.
Yaan understood that the parents were anxious and didn’t want to spread this anxiety to their kids, but he felt like leaving them all in the dark until the very last moment was also a mistake. If they had explained things days, or perhaps even weeks or months ago, the children would have been prepared, allowing them to act properly.
Baby June was sleeping peacefully. As they made their way towards the central square, Yaan kept stealing glances at his baby sister. For some reason, he only felt relieved upon seeing her adorable sleeping face.
Yaan didn’t understand why, but he knew that it was imperative that nobody acted out, and that his baby sister remained quiet and asleep…
Truthfully, Yaan was wearing a look extremely similar to his father’s own right now. Both of them wore the same expression, yet they were clearly very different. A young man with bright eyes and youth filling his gaze, and a young child, but a child with such a deep pair of eyes that people would avert their gaze away from him on instinct.
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Yaan noticed this a few times along his way towards the village square. Eventually, he averted his eyes, not looking at anyone, and instead focussing on his family. His expression kept changing between a very faint, soft smile, and an uneasy look of fright. However, it was as if something was suppressing the frightful feeling, preventing him from thinking too deeply into it…
As Yaan stood there amongst the crowd, he still couldn’t care less about the atmosphere, about the worries, or the so called ‘immortal’. Rather, he had the urge to gaze at his father’s and mother’s faces, as if attempting to burn these images into his mind. He also kept a close watch on his baby sister, and even fashioned a sort of baby-gag, something like a thin blanket that the baby would chew and suck in order to stop her from crying.
Of course, the only fabrics in their village were old rags, so it wasn’t exactly without its flaws.
For a brief moment, Yaan’s attention was drawn away from his family and towards the only other person in this village that he truly cared for like his own family. She was a young girl called Elia, the envy and desire of all the young boys in the village, and Yaan’s childhood friend. They regularly played together, but he remembered that he never felt nervous around her, unlike the other boys when they mustered up the courage to approach her.
For some reason, seeing Elia standing there, with both her family and all the other villagers, made Yaan feel an almost unbearable sense of guilt, regret, and ultimately, helplessness. He suddenly had the urge to rush up to her and apologise, but upon seeing her nervous expression as she held her parents’ hands…
Yaan sighed. He couldn’t replace the comfort that a child felt from their parents. He was also just a child after all.
The ‘Lord Immortal’ arrived.
Yaan barely even noticed the man’s arrival. He was vaguely aware that at some point, his father had urged him to kneel, and so he did so to remedy his father’s worry. However, Yaan was more focussed on his family right now. For some reason, the ‘Lord Immortal’ who everyone else feared and revered…did not feel important to Yaan right now.
“Wahhh!”
Yaan’s heart skipped a beat and he whipped his body around. He turned and stared at the Lord Immortal for the first time, whilst stepping forwards in front of his baby sister to hide her from view, and gagging her such that she was unable to create another sound.
Everything became silent.
“Hmm…” The robed old man glanced at the baby briefly, before averting his gaze.
When Yaan finally laid his eyes upon the Lord Immortal, this old man in a black and crimson cloak which covered most of his body, intense feelings surged in his heart. For some reason, he wanted to rush forwards and tear off the Lord Immortal’s limbs! He wanted to drink his blood and crush his heart! He wanted to place his head upon a spear and place it at the village’s entrance, to make an example of those who wronged him!
“Wait, what am I even thinking…?” Yaan murmured to himself with wide eyes. Luckily he was quiet enough that nobody heard him, but he became pale-faced and swallowed as he was forced to acknowledge that…he had really just visualised something so cruel.
Dazed by his own thoughts, Yaan didn’t realise that he was being called, until his father violently shook his shoulder and gave him a shove whilst whispering into his ear.
“Quickly, don’t make the lord immortal wait, do as the others have done and test your talent!”
Yaan felt as if he was in a dream. The other kids were also quite clearly dazed by the sudden turn of events, but truthfully, none of this had surprised Yaan even a single time…
It was as if he expected things to play out this way…
As he turned back to look at his family, and saw their nervous expressions as he made his way through the crowd, Yaan forced himself to smile. He…did not want them to worry.
The following events passed by like a blur.
His talent was measured as medium, meaning that he was to join the Heavenly Path Sect’s outer sect in Zong Village.
When this thought entered Yaan’s mind, he paused in confusion.
‘Zong Village…? Why do I know that I’m going to the sect, and to Zong Village, when we haven’t been told anything yet…?’
Yaan sighed and shook his head in the end.
The children were tested one by one, and everyone congratulated Elia who felt prideful to have a high talent. Yaan also smiled politely, but he was feeling an increasingly bad premonition now. This feeling was growing stronger by the second…but just what was it exactly….?
“Wahh-!”
Yaan’s heart lurched and his eyes snapped towards his family.
His mother hurriedly pushed the gag further into baby June’s mouth, whilst holding the baby beneath her loose fitting shoal, basically hiding her entirely. Yaan’s father stepped forwards and stood in front of his wife. Yaan’s aunt was left frozen in fear, she was unable to react to the situation.
Yaan knew that Elder Sun wasn’t all that impressive, he wasn’t all knowing at least, so he hoped that this short cry would go unnoticed. Or perhaps, he would just leave it be, they had been kind and polite enough, right? Why would he-
Yaan’s hopeful thoughts were brought to an abrupt stop when he quickly looked back at the older cultivator. The old man was smirking. This smirk contained a faint mocking look, which he hid within an instant. Aside from Yaan, nobody else so much as noticed a trace of his strange expression.
Yaan didn’t know why, but he knew that he…was about to witness a living nightmare.
He didn’t know what was going on. He wasn’t sure why he knew these things…but he knew that he needed to do something.
However, he was too far away…he was a mortal…he had no weapon…trying to stop Elder Sun would simply be suicidal…
As the old man raised his sword, Yaan dashed at him. Somehow, Yaan crossed a distance of twenty feet in just a couple of seconds despite starting from a standstill! This was a shocking feat for a mortal child, but it wasn’t enough!
Elder Sun had initiated his attack. The sword glowed with Innate Qi, showing off his prowess to an unnecessary degree. It was completely overkill to use a spiritual treasure combined with a spell, just to kill some mortals.
Yaan’s expression was filled with anger, loathing, hatred, helplessness, and…a feeling that he refused to accept. He knew that there was a truth, right there, practically attached to his body, and yet…
He wanted to save them. No matter what, no matter if this was real or illusion, dream or truth, it didn’t matter…no matter what, Yaan would do whatever it took to save his family!
And in that moment of desire, it was as if something clicked in his brain. He possessed nothing, no power, no strength, no weapon, not a damned thing! All he had to fight with, all he had at his disposal, was his will and his mind!
Yaan himself was in a state of confusion, a sort of delirious mess of understanding wherein he wasn’t sure what was real and what was fake. The memories of his two lives converged and overlapped, only….the whole memory of his life following his family’s demise, really didn’t feel possible, it was like some twisted dark fantasy that nobody would be willing to accept as the truth. These memories seemed to come and go, causing Yaan to continually remember and forget, as if he was rejecting the cruel truth…
But regardless, in this instant here and now, his family lived, and Yaan had the ability to reach out.
He was still two feet away from Elder Sun. As the sword rapidly accelerated and shot forwards, not a single person could react. It was so fast that they couldn’t even make out its movements!
Chi!
“Ah!”
“H-his hand!”
“Yaan, are you ok?!”
The children all screamed as Yaan attempted to block the sword. No, he did block the sword for a brief instant, but the spell…
He turned ever so slowly towards his left, ignoring his mutilated palm. He twisted his neck until his eyes landed upon the same bloody corpses that he had…seen before…?
How could he have- no, why was he thinking such useless thoughts, he needed to-
“Ah!”
Yaan let out a soft cry. He stared at his deceased mother, aunt and baby sister, before shifting his eyes towards his dying father, who stared up at him with a pained gaze.
Only Yaan’s father remained alive, but…he could not hold on for long. As if to lord over them with his power, Elder Sun had impaled his father into the ground, and as his body grew weaker, Yaan’s father slowly slid down the blade.
His father finally smiled in relief when he saw that Yaan had chosen to stop, instead of losing himself to rage. The blood swept into his eyes, but the dying man was at the very least able to make out the blurred figure of his son, his pride and joy, his intelligent, talented child.
Yaan’s father slowly slid down the sword blade. When the elder stared down at the corpses and casually waved his hand to retrieve the blade, he glanced at the man’s face and snorted coldly.
CHI!
“You-!”
“Falcon…don’t. Unless you want all of us to be killed next.” Yaan spoke in a strangely calm voice, yet it was also so monotonous, so lacking in emotion and energy, that it did not sound like a human’s voice.
The children stared at Yaan, amazed that he could stay calm and composed, even now. When Elder Sun returned to his side, he looked down at the child and felt shocked.
As a cultivator, he could tell that in this moment, the incomprehensible child before him felt no hatred, no malicious intent, and no anger. But…there was something else…a sort of loneliness, a desolation that wouldn't usually be found on a child, as this feeling could only be accumulated over a long, painful and isolated life.
“You planned to kill to make an example and to imbue fear into the mortals. My sister crying out was merely an excuse, four individuals of varying ages were destined to die today.” As Yaan spoke these words clearly and without a trace of emotion, Elder Sun froze, then even trembled.
He was a glorious Innate Qi Realm powerhouse, whilst this brat was merely a child! And yet....for some reason, he absolutely wanted to avoid this child. No matter what, he did not want to further aggravate this conflict!
Yaan glanced at the old man indifferently. Perhaps if he had the ability to do so, he would kill this old man…but he did not have that ability right now. Even if he had overcome a certain boundary within this illusory world by pushing his mind to achieve the impossible, he was still too far away from being able to kill an Innate Qi Realm cultivator.
But aside from that, Yaan now felt that this was somewhat pointless…this was an illusion, and he had already failed to change the course of the past.
Two carriages arrived to pick up the children, but as they all boarded, Yaan simply walked past.
"Huh, kid? Where are you going! Get in the back, we're taking you to become disciples of the Heavenly Path Sect!"
Unfortunately, those inspiring words were meaningless to Yaan's ears.
Today, he had succeeded, and yet, he had completely and utterly failed. He achieved the impossible, using the power of his mind to cross a large distance in an instant. He managed to reach out and block Elder Sun’s attack…for half a second, before the sword sliced through his hand and the world returned to its preordained path.
But, he had succeeded in cultivating his mind, or at least, he had realised the way.
Yaan was still resolute in his pursuit of comprehending Psyche Power, but how was he supposed to do that?
When he arrived in this illusory world, he had no idea what he was meant to do. With this in mind, he decided to put the matter of Psyche Power aside for now. Since he was here, in this illusory world which he could not distinguish from reality, he wanted to see if he could change something.
These were his thoughts when he had initially arrived in this place and realised the truth, that this world was an illusion. After coming to this realisation, he disconnected his mind from the outside world, leading to him forgetting his memories. He had the feeling that if he completely connected to his memories, he would be able to find a way out from this illusion, but he chose to take a different path.
He wanted to see if his family were actually destined to be massacred senselessly on that day, or if perhaps he could change this, even if it was only a false world.
Yaan walked in the opposite direction of the horse drawn carriage. Mysteriously, the carriage driver blinked and rubbed his head following Yaan’s departure, feeling confused as to why he had just shouted at…a child, was it?
After shrugging and not overthinking it too much, the carriage driver watched as a gloomy and despairing looking young boy entered the carriage. The driver sighed, pitying this boy who had just watched the ruthless massacre of those he once love.
Yaan entered the carriage, yet he also did not. It was as if in that moment where he decided to deliberately walk against the preordained fate set out in this dream of a world, he split away from his former position in the world. He unknowingly separated from the child he once was, walking towards an entirely separate path. This path was filled with unknowns, Yaan had no idea what would he would encounter from here on. But still…he chose this path, and that alone was reason enough for him to see it through to the end.
Unknowingly, the wound on the palm of the Yaan who entered the carriage was nowhere to be seen. At the same time, nobody seemed to remember his actions from before…
When Yaan separated from his past in this way, the tentative connection that he had established with his memories vanished without a trace.
He no longer remembered who he was, but it didn’t matter. Whilst he could not see the path behind him, the path ahead was illuminated before his eyes.