Chapter 94 - Poisonous Insanity
“This book is actually a guide for cultivating the mind…they call it ‘psyche cultivation’, and it involves the cultivation of Psyche Power. The book also briefly explains how this path links to the other paths of cultivation, and the differences between them. Unfortunately, I don’t have time to go through this properly right now…”
Yaan jumped to his feet as he felt a pang of pain assault his stomach. He knew that it wouldn’t be long before these waves of pain became so intense that it could drive a person to suicide, just to alleviate the temporary suffering.
Yaan went to grab medicines which would help to heal him and reduce the pain, but after a moment of thought, he stopped himself.
His eyes made their way back down towards the booklet, then a moment later, he retrieved the strange scroll which depicted the four paths of cultivation from his spatial ring. After staring at the scroll for a moment, he put away both the scroll and the booklet, but the look in his eyes had become even more crazed than before.
Now that the golden orb within his stomach had reactivated, the pain spreading through his body was growing twice as strong every ten seconds. Likewise, the rate of his absorption of medicinal energy from the orb was also doubling every ten seconds.
Ignoring the pain, Yaan took out multiple items from his spatial bag. However, these were not the type of resources that you would expect someone to use in this situation.
He considered adding in another body tempering resource in the hope that the golden orb in his stomach might fuse with this additional pill and assist its effect. Unfortunately, after feeling the perfect fusion between the Organ Hardening Pill and the golden orb, Yaan knew that there was no room for any other fusion.
At this point, Yaan was experiencing over 500 times the original level of pain which would be expected off the Organ Hardening Pill. He sat down as his body shook, but he ignored the pain and tremors, relying on his tempered will power to persevere.
By now, others would already be feeling despair, but Yaan’s life had been filled with difficulty and hardships. He hadn’t experienced much joy in his life, causing him to become extremely accustomed to pain, despite his young age. Just this much was not enough to cause him to give up.
Yaan lifted up a black pill, then without hesitation, he swallowed it whole. The look in his eyes was crazed, driven to this extent both by the excruciating pain and the insane idea that arose within his mind after reading through the guide on psyche cultivation.
Yaan did not know the name of this pill, because he created it by extracting a severely terrific poison from his body in the 3rd trial. Actually, Zue Yin had mentioned the name of this poison at some point, but his mind had been too focussed on trying to survive at that time, so he couldn’t recall what she had called it.
He didn’t know the exact identity of this poison, but he was familiar with its effects, and he knew all too well just how powerful it was.
Were it not for that time a few days earlier when he tempered his meridians with the purple meridian poison, he wouldn’t dare to attempt this. That process massively increased his resistance to poisons, so he was entirely confident in his survival.
Yaan used his astral power to quickly transfer the poison into the golden orb in his stomach. The golden orb had no reaction, but the golden shockwaves which were infused with organ hardening medicinal power came into contact with this poison. As the waves were released by the golden orb, they fused with the black noxious poison.
The medicinal energy that nourished his body, was now filled with an unknown fatal poison which had no known cure!
At some point, Yaan’s entire body turned dark purple. Those Astral Tattoos which guided the poison into his stomach seemed to become damaged. They were forced to retreat into the one place that was free from poison and danger; Yaan’s mind.
Normally, he wouldn’t allow these weird demonic spirits into his very mind, because they made him feel suspicious, and letting anything into your mind was a huge danger. Even though he had subdued them, he still felt cautious.
But if Yaan was trying to avoid danger and pain, he wouldn’t have swallowed that known noxious toxin, would he?
Despite agony tearing him apart, Yaan calmly threw back a handful of pills. Each and every one of these pills was a poison, a poison that directly targeted the internal organs!
All of this might seem bizarre, but Yaan had realised something important.
Firstly, the Trio of Accelerated Agony Pills the power contained within the golden orb was simply enormous, far beyond what he had drawn out so far!
Yaan poison resistance was strong enough that these things would not be immediately fatal - if he deemed it necessary, recovery medicine would restore his condition. However, he believed that as the multiple different poisons assaulted his organs in an all out barrage of toxicity, the golden power would heal over the injuries and develop his body even further!
Since the body tempering medicine that he had fused into the golden orb was the Rank 3 Organ Hardening Pill, the golden mist had fused with this medicinal energy which should be helping to refine his organs. Whether the organs were being built up and cultivated, or just hastily recovered from near fatal damage, did not make a difference to the golden mist!
As Yaan watched his internal scene play out exactly as he predicted, he opened his bloodshot eyes and let out a slightly maniacal laugh.
He had consumed dangerous poisons…and these poisons would now help to further refine his body!
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To destroy, and to reform, that was the nature of the body tempering path. From the ashes of the damaged body, the newly formed flesh would be refined with greater strength…
However, further tempering his body was not Yaan’s only reason for consuming these poisons. More so than that, he also wanted to cultivate his mind!
As the golden mist fought the poisons and restored the body, its duration of effect was substantially extended. And yet, even so, the pain and the effect were continuing to double every ten seconds.
But Yaan felt no regret. His heart was filled with an overwhelming desire, a feeling that verged on insanity…the desire to grow stronger, no matter the cost.
Yaan trembled uncontrollably as he placed the four paths scroll on the wall, low down such that he didn’t need to crane his neck up to see it. He sat down on the floor, occasionally reading a passage from the booklet…
“Psyche cultivation…” Yaan muttered the simple name of the book. Almost everyone overlooked this for thousands of years in that 1st level pagoda. It looked like some old, dusty, overpriced cultivation technique, who would want it?
Yaan bought this book because he always desired to learn about that which he didn’t understand.
Because of this curiosity of his, he actually came across a knew path of cultivation, barely even known to Foundation Step cultivators - the path of cultivating the mind. T
Cultivating the mind consisted of cultivating knowledge, wisdom, and sentience. When combined together, these three components resulted in a being’s overall intelligence.
At first, Yaan just wanted to use this opportunity, making use of the pain to stimulate the strength of his mind. But after he read the entire psyche cultivation guide, he felt something well up inside him.
He wanted to push this opportunity further, to increase the pain that he felt in this moment, so that he could properly temper his mind.
Taking the poisons could be considered exactly this…
However, he made a mistake.
As the pain reached unspeakable levels, Yaan’s sanity began to suffer. A person could only endure so much torment before their sound mind broke, and as the many poisons fused into the golden shockwaves that spread throughout his body, Yaan’s eyes turned completely red.
At this point, he could no longer think rationally. Perhaps that was why he retrieved a handful of medicines from his spatial ring, then stared at them with a broad, twisted smile.
As Yaan stared at the pills in his hands, he heard a whooshing sound followed by a slamming of a door behind him. Three people had entered the temporal chamber and stared at Yaan in shock, but he didn’t care. Or rather, he didn’t even notice their arrival.
His actions could no longer be considered ‘daring’, because now, it was simply outright lunacy.
“Crazy, just wait-!”
The three individuals, each esteemed, revered and shrouded in mystery, all stared at Yaan with completely dumbfounded expressions. They wanted to reach out and stop him, but Yaan didn’t even pause as they shouted out to him.
This child had caught their attention in his last fight for multiple reasons, but now...
Was he trying to commit suicide?!
Because knowingly devouring the Calamity of Insanity Pill could only be called a suicide attempt.
To then wash this pill back with 108 drops of blood essence, further sealed his fate.
When he then slammed 82 1-Star Astral Crystals into his forehead, it really did seem like he was trying to die.
The three figures stared, all wearing dumbfounded expressions as the astral spirits stormed directly into Yaan’s head. They were left staring at him blankly, unable to understand what they were watching.
Was this simply the weirdest, most obscure suicide ever devised…?
Because the chances of surviving any one of these insane acts…was zero.
Yaan was still unaware that he had company. He vaguely heard the door, but in his delirious state, he immediately stopped caring and forgot.
He could not be blamed for acting this way. He did not realise that after the pain reached a certain level, he would completely lose control over his mental faculties - after all, he had never pushed himself this far before now.
Honestly, it was incredible that he had only gone insane, rather than losing consciousness and dying to the golden shockwaves on the spot.
Whoosh!
Suddenly, a fourth figure appeared, The other figures all stepped backwards, showing respectful expressions towards the old man who seemed to be the only person present not overcome by shock.
Yaan actually noticed the old man and turned to face him. His eyes were blood shot, but he still recognised this old man as the same spirit who sold him resources in the 1st level pagoda. Yaan gritted his teeth as he forced himself to look up, whilst blood was spurting out all around him.
He was a mess…a dying mess.
“Don’t you feel that you overdid it somewhat?” The old man asked softly. “You could very easily die…in fact, your survival would be a miracle at this point. Do you regret being so rash and acting before knowing the first thing about the fragility of the mind, and the difficulty of this path?”
Through gritted teeth, Yaan growled out a response. He wasn’t trying to be rude, he was just struggling to speak or stand.
“No…I didn’t overdo it…"
The four powerhouses stared at him doubtfully, watching him stand up with dazed expressions. He stumbled forwards, yet somehow, never fell. Yaan forced himself to look up through the pain, showing a ferocious expression that surprised those three…but in his eyes was something else, only noticed by the old man. When he saw this gaze, he trembled slightly for unknown reasons.
“My only regret…is that I didn’t do enough!”
Yaan’s words silenced everyone. As the old man stared at him for a moment, he had a thought.
‘That look…master also had such a similar expression back then…this child has clearly lost his mind, but his words reflect the true feelings in his heart…’
With a wave of his hand, the old man dragged forth all of Yaan’s scattered belongings, as well as Yaan himself. He held Yaan’s wrist, took a step forwards, then they vanished from this place, leaving those other three behind silently.
Yaan’s condition was rapidly worsening, he was quickly losing consciousness and it was taking every ounce of his willpower to persevere.
“I will give you a choice. Either, I can save you by undoing the self-inflicted damage. Or…I can truly push you forwards, towards the limit that one must overcome, in order to step onto the path of psyche cultivation. In truth, I and anyone else with a modicum of sense would choose the former. Psyche cultivation is just another path, but you only have one life.”
“The second choice!” Yaan growled out.
His eyes were totally red and his body was starting to convulse.
The old man looked at Yaan, then asked whilst showing no signs of being hurried:
“Why?”
“Because…I follow my own path! Because…without risk, I cannot become strong! Because…my experience of this world, has proven to me that nobody truly understands it…life, cultivation, the meaning of suffering…the reason we all step onto this path to chase after a grander tomorrow, even though the path behind us, around us and beneath our feet has only ever been the same, barren road…what I want…is to unveil the truth…to find the answer to this lonely world…and I…I want to…”
The old man’s eyes were growing brighter and brighter as Yaan spoke further. He slumped towards the end, but the old man leaned in and seriously listened to the end of his answer.
“…I want to understand…why is it that I continue to struggle so desperately…through a world so desolate as this…”
“You want to understand yourself, more-so than than the world around you?” The old man quietly asked, whilst pointing a finger at Yaan’s forehead. A blue light shot out, making Yaan almost scream in misery. He gritted his teeth at the very last second and managed to hold in his cries of pain. Even in his delirious state, he did not want to show weakness to those around him.
“The world around me? Ka…ka…ka…” Yaan’s laugh was dark and disjointed as he showed his unhidden ridicule towards this question.
“This world is filled with countless people, countless places, countless times…I don’t care to learn it all…everything in this world is filled with unavoidable webs of complexity…the people live their truth by embracing lies…whilst illusion is merely an alternative truth…when seeking truth, only understanding oneself matters…only the path of the self lacks all falsehood and doubt…”
Yaan was now rambling, collapsed on the floor but being forcibly kept alive by the strange old man. His eyes were shut and he spoke in slow, broken sentences.
He was saying things that he had never said to others before now. No, truthfully, these words flowing out from Yaan’s mouth, seemed to stem from his completely distorted and delirious mental state.
“The path of the self lacks falsehood and doubt, huh…it’s not the first time that I’ve heard someone say something like that.” The old man looked at Yaan with a strange gaze and let out a complicated sigh. When he looked at Yaan, he looked like he was uncertain about something…
But the more he saw of this child, the more he thought that he…might be the one that they were all waiting for…
“But what if your entire self was a falsehood…what if your life was laden with those same doubts and lies that you see in the world around you…?” The old man asked gently.
“If my path was ridden with lies, falsehood and doubts…I would just make a new path…I will never…give up on myself…” Yaan spoke, finally unable to hide the exhaustion from his voice.
The old man's eyes widened before he smiled and chuckled.
‘They really are too similar…I can’t prove it right now, but regardless, on the chance that I am correct, I absolutely must help this child!’ The old man thought to himself as he gazed down at Yaan.
‘If this was truly only about training his mind, I would just heal him for being so stupid. However, even though he hasn’t yet realised it, he is…trying to resist his fate…’
A look of resolution crossed the old man’s face - he had finally come to a decision. With a rapid flick of his wrist, he quickly dropped three pills into Yaan’s mouth.