Chapter 340 - Silence
On the Spirit Plane, Yaan travelled whilst sitting on the mad elephant’s back. The mad elephant was being strangely silent, for once matching Yaan’s typical quietness. The Primordial Sage had some thoughts on this, especially after watching the events which transpired moments ago on the Qi Plane…
It became clear to her that somehow, this elephant could sense Yaan’s mood. This was something that even she could not do, peaking her interest. However, the realisation that Yaan was hiding his somber heart from her, and that he had been hiding his fluctuating emotional state from her all this time, was far more intriguing to the Sage.
She suddenly appeared directly in front of the mad elephant, forcing it to stop as it was startled by her sudden appearance. For the most part, the Sage kept herself hidden not only from the world, but also from Yaan and the mad elephant. Even when she revealed herself to Yaan, she usually still concealed herself from the mad elephant, so the mad elephant had actually only seen her a couple of times over the past few decades.
However, whenever the mad elephant saw the Primordial Sage, it always felt extremely wary. With her sudden appearance blocking its way forwards, the mad elephant came to a stop and let out a low growl.
Yaan gently patted the mad elephant’s side, causing its ferociousness to quieten down. However, even after falling silent, the mad elephant continued to glare at the Primordial Sage.
“Elia died.” The Sage spoke as she stared into Yaan’s eyes.
Yaan nodded, showing nothing on his face. He didn’t speak, and just looking at him, you would think that he was completely unmoved by this event.
Indeed, he was forced to bear witness to Elia’s death. He experienced everything, from the Dao Clone of Qi’s ‘battle’ against the Primordial Devil, to his overwhelming and crushing defeat. He also felt the despair in the Dao Clone of Qi’s heart, which formed due to the Primordial Devil completely suppressing him with his heart of pride.
He felt and saw everything as the Dao Clone of Qi hastily managed to save his own life by fusing with the Heavenly Rebirth Formation, after his Dao Treasure exploded and the force tore apart his spirit formation body. He could still recall the sensation of his body reforming after being reborn via the formation, only to be catapulted downwards by the momentum, tearing a bloody hole through Elia’s body…and killing her.
The feeling of helplessness and agony that the Dao Clone of Qi was forced to endure, as he watched Elian smile at him lovingly, before her bloodied body collapsed on top of his exhausted self…
“That girl was your oldest friend in this world. That girl was perhaps the last person in this world that you truly cared for. And now, she is dead. She died, whilst you sat back and did nothing. You watched on from a safe distance, knowing that your Dao Clone could not protect her. You watched as your loved one died, whilst you didn’t even try to help her.”
Yaan nodded silently.
The Primordial Sage’s emerald eyes shone with a light so blinding that the mad elephant was forced to take several steps back. The light was immense, but it didn’t spread out far, and it looked somewhat illusory, as if it was being hidden from the world. The light, although illusory, stormed into Yaan’s crimson eyes, attempting to pry open his heart and mind.
But Yaan remained expressionless.
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From start to finish, his expression did not change, his eyes showed no emotion, his body remained calm and his body language gave nothing away.
After a few moments, the Sage retracted her light. She knew that this light must have stirred something within Yaan’s heart, yet it still failed to reveal any of his secrets.
With a face showing just as little expression as Yaan’s own, she stated:
“Your ability to conceal your true heart is exemplary.”
Yaan nodded silently.
Without another word, the Primordial Sage vanished.
For a while, the region descended into silence. On this 5th Layer of Abyss, nothing could even threaten the mad elephant, no matter Yaan. Like always, the region for a dozen miles around the mad elephant was a region of desolation, laid to waste by the mad elephant’s innate aura of destruction.
A minute passed by, before finally, Yaan patted the mad elephant’s side gently. He didn’t say anything, it was clear that he was being even quieter than usual. But, even though Yaan didn’t speak, the mad elephant understood that it was time to continue on.
As the mad elephant set off, Yaan’s face remained calm, his body and aura still, everything about him was silent and unmoving. He was always quiet, but the current silence surrounding him was too strange, too eery, as if everything about him, even his voice, had frozen.
Yaan did not speak, because he knew that if he spoke, his indifferent facade would immediately break down.
He felt everything that the Dao Clone of Qi felt, from the despair in his battle against the Primordial Devil, to the torturous helplessness and regret upon realising that Elia had been killed by his own falling self as he was thrown down into the lands below.
He also felt the Dao Clone of Qi’s heart gradually turn numb, as if Elia’s corpse bleeding out onto his exhausted body was gradually degrading the emotion that held his heart together.
The pain had become too overwhelming for the Dao Clone of Qi to bear, and now that he had failed - failed to live up to his heart, protecting Elia from the Primordial Devil…now that he had failed, he had nothing left to feel but emptiness.
But Yaan was not the Dao Clone of Qi.
He felt all that the Dao Clone of Qi felt. He also felt the burning rage that was continually increasing by the second, coming from the Dao Clone of Soul.
Even so, Yaan was his own person, with his own emotions. And so, through the still numbness of the Dao Clone of Qi’s dying heart, Yaan’s own heart descended into a depth of pain, an abyss that reached the same unfathomable depths as his dreadful emotional state upon being reborn onto the Spirit Plane. The pain was different, because unlike before, this was not the pain of having given up on life…it was the pain of sadness, guilt, regret, and self-hatred, all fusing together, combining with the conflicting emotions of his two surviving Dao Clones, and threatening to explode out of him in a wave of violent aura.
Although the Dao Clone of Qi’s defeat had been far more rapid than expected, as had Elia’s death, it remained a fact that he had chosen to sit back and watch, doing nothing to even attempt to help her. He had ignored the desire in his heart to step in and do something, anything, to help her…
He knew that there was nothing he could have done to change this outcome, but that didn’t make the pain any easier to endure. It remained a fact that he had chosen rationality over emotion - no, he had chosen rationality over the last traces of his humanity.
He watched her die, the one human left in this world that he truly cared for. He watched her die, because it was the rational thing to do.
Yaan remained expressionless, as the mad elephant arrived at the next location. He hopped down from the mad elephant’s back and began constructing the sub-formation with an expressionless face.
The mad elephant walked around the perimeter of this region that it had chosen on a whim, but despite the feeling of attraction that the mad elephant felt towards this place, it didn’t show its usual joy towards its discovery. Instead, the mad elephant walked slowly and silently for the first time.
The pain in Yaan’s heart was overwhelming. He wanted nothing more than to express something, anything, to show that he cared about what had happened.
But he could not. If he expressed a trace of emotion, then his choice to pursue the path towards his success would have been in vain.
And so, with a pain burning with a conflict so bright within his heart that it threatened to collapse his entire being at any moment, Yaan continued on like nothing had happened. He could not even mourn for Elia’s death, nor for the death of his humanity.
If before, he felt conflicted about following through with his insane plan, then now, there was no conflict to be felt. There was nobody left to care about, nobody left to save.
He understood now that it was impossible for him to turn back…
What a joke. Turning back had never been an option for him, had it? After all, that was why he always relentlessly moved forwards, no matter the chaos and devastation that enveloped everything in his path. To move backwards, would be to give up on his path, and doing that would make a mockery of all that he he had paid to reach this point.
He understood this fact back when he was whole, before using the Dao Splitting Technique, and now, he was gradually starting to understand once again. Only now, his understanding was transcending his previous self, as he walked towards a state of enlightenment that he had never before known.
And so, in silence, on Yaan marched, heading towards the next sub-formation, whilst waiting for the Primordial Devil to finally end the Dao Clone of Qi’s pitiful life.
He did not know where he was going, but he knew that this path was the only one left for him to take. There was no other choice, than to embrace his insanity whole-heartedly, with the hope that it would lead him to something…something that was worth all of this pain.