Chapter 102 - Indiscernible Colour
As they descended the mountain, Yaan’s mind was in turmoil.
“Why do I not remember…?”
“Could it be that all of my memories are completely fake?”
“Did I even truly live my life outside of this ‘illusion’ world?”
“Could it be that my entire life from before I entered this illusion world, was also an illusion?”
“Have I been trapped in an illusion this entire time?!”
“What…is the difference between reality and illusion…?”
Finally, after silently listening to Yaan mumbling to himself for sometime, Rui shook her head. He was approaching closer and closer to a full-blown mental breakdown, which was not what she wanted to see right now.
“Yaan, you were 15 years old when you stepped into the True-False Illusion Formation. Now, you have spent five years living within this illusory world.”
Yaan paused and slowly looked up at Rui with a vacant gaze. She stared back at him and stated bluntly:
“Spending so long in an illusion like this at such a young age is enough to drive anyone to the brink of insanity. You’re losing your grip on reality. Based on my understanding, the world that you know as real, should indeed be real. As for this illusion…that’s difficult to say.”
Yaan’s mind cleared up slightly as Rui pointed out the crux of the matter.
“But you said that my dao comprehension is impossible for my age, and that in reality, I should actually be much older…” He spoke uncertainly as his mind and emotions continued to waver.
“Forget about that. Forget about your problematic memory for now. Forget about the fact that you might be older than you believe - there are many possible explanations for this anymore. Right now, you are participating in a trial. Or did you forget your purpose? Did you forget what you have been fighting so hard against this entire time?”
Rui’s words seemed to awaken Yaan from his stupor as his eyes widened, regaining a hint of clarity. This clarity gradually morphed into determination, a cold resolution that enveloped his heart and swept everything else away.
There were many things in this world that confused him, but so what? There was no use in pitying himself. The was no reason to wallow in confusion and despair. Allowing these feelings to breach his heart would only lead him into an endless downwards spiral.
“Right…in the end, all I can live by is the truth that I know…worrying about anything else is pointless…I just need to move forwards…I just need to become stronger…”
Yaan stopped speaking for a brief moment to look up at Rui.
“If the discrepancy in my memory isn’t caused by my entire life being a falsehood…if what I know as ‘real’, truly is ‘real’…then why is it that my memory cuts off abruptly at a very specific point?”
The earliest memory that Yaan possessed was the first instance he re-experienced within the illusion world - the time when he was lingering around Lightstone Village’s border, right before his father called him back home whilst his mother was giving birth.
Rui remained silent for some time, showing a slightly pensive expression.
“I can’t say for sure. I don’t know exactly how this formation functions, but it’s possible that the entire illusion world is based upon your own memories. If that is the case, then it could simply be that for whatever reason, your memory was damaged, or perhaps sealed.”
“Or?” Yaan asked immediately, feeling like Rui was more inclined to believe in a different theory.
“Or…you’re the victim of a botched reincarnation.”
“Huh?” Yaan was startled.
No matter what, he really wasn’t expecting that answer…
A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.
Now that he thought about it though, the Rui that he knew, the real Rui, once mentioned reincarnation too. Supposedly, following death, the soul would be reincarnated. However, he wasn’t convinced that such a fantastical concept was actually real.
Before he could ask more, Rui suddenly posed him a question.
“Yaan…if I had assisted you properly, using my cultivation on the way to this place, do you think that we would have arrived on this mountain on a different day? Do you think that anything we have done has made a difference?”
After looking at Rui and seeing her cold indifference return, Yaan knew that she was no longer willing to discuss the previous topic. Since that was the case, he decided to answer her question, despite not really knowing the truth.
“Before I encountered you, I believed that I was changing things by opposing my fate. In the end though, a second version of me was born, a version that lived according to my past. I tried to reject the notion that I was completely powerless here, but no matter what I did, nothing changed…”
Rui silently listened. She knew that in spite of his confusion, Yaan had come to understand some matters, particularly in the last hour. She also knew that he had a good reason for following his other self.
She also had her own ideas, but she didn’t wish to voice anything out loud.
But there was something that they had both realised. This mysterious phenomena was something that Rui would not say, but Yaan said it almost casually.
“The truth of the matter is that, right now, we are the illusions, whilst this world is reality. ”
Rui’s gaze flashed, but she kept quiet.
“But also…I think that I can answer your question now, Rui. About the true nature of an illusion…”
“Oh?” She slightly raised one eyebrow.
“After all that has happened, I would argue that illusion and reality are just different perspectives. Something can be an illusion to one person, but reality to another. To the real world, this True-False Illusion World is the illusion. To this illusion world, I am the illusion, whilst the inhabitants here are all real. However, you Rui, an inhabitant of this illusion, seem to be an outlier…”
Rui remained silent, neither agreeing nor arguing with what he said.
Although she didn’t say anything, when Yaan arrived at the conclusion that she had been pointing him towards all this time, a gleam flashed through her eyes, imperceptible to Yaan or anyone else.
Yaan slowly looked out at the world around them. Corpses were strewn about everywhere, even after they descended more than halfway down the mountain.
At some point, they passed by the younger Yaan. They were now waiting for him to reach them lower down the mountain.
‘Just one final push…’ Rui thought to herself as she watched Yaan carefully.
“You’re forgetting something. You’re currently undertaking a trial, and you wanted to use this trial to become a Psyche Power cultivator, no? So then, why are you obsessing over dao all of a sudden, when you said that you never thought about it much before now?”
“I’ve become an illusion in an illusory world, how could I not think about the dao of illusions right now?”
“Fair enough. But regardless, this is still a trial. What is your plan for passing this trial?”
Yaan smiled slightly, giving Rui an odd, slightly amused look for a moment.
“Honestly, I still don’t know what’s real and what’s not. But what I do know, is that right now, I am an illusion to this world around me. Since that’s the case, I just need to switch the perspective. If I do that, then I will no longer be an illusion, and this world won’t be real.”
“Hmm…”
“Hah…hah…hah….”
Their strange conversation was cut short as the younger Yaan finally arrived. When Rui saw him exhausted from running down half a mountain, she glanced at the older Yaan oddly…
The older Yaan’s body was still that of a mortal child, so how was it that he managed to overtake his younger cultivator self, without exhausting himself in the least?
As Rui mused over this matter, she became distracted by the look in Yaan’s eyes.
A moment ago, when he was pondering over the nature of illusions, countless images, illusions of his life, started flashing through his eyes in a rapid sequence. Those illusions had now vanished, but his eyes were no less shocking…
Rui stared deeply. The look in his eyes was one that she had become familiar with during the past five years; he was clearly planning to do something crazy again. She didn’t care about that however, she already knew this much.
What really struck her, was the fact that she couldn’t tell what colour his eyes were right now! They had always been brown, right…? The older Yaan was a mortal human in this world, so his eyes should be brown, and yet…
It was far too strange. The colour of his eyes wasn’t changing, nor could his eyes be described as a unique colour.
“There is no true colour…” She murmured to herself. After quickly calming herself down, Rui’s gaze became more serious.
‘As expected, this level of innate ability to comprehend dao is too extreme. It’s even beyond most immortals…’
As Rui thought this, she recalled her concerns over these past years. Whilst she mulled over these things, Yaan quickly returned to normal.
Rui's main concern was that Yaan’s completion of this trial would return her to nothingness.
Was it death, when an illusion ceased to be? Could something die, if it was just imaginary and never truly lived in the first place? Or perhaps, the illusions in this world were living beings, they just existed in a different form compared to those in the real world…
Rui actually thought far more deeply into this illusion compared to Yaan. This illusory world related to her entire life and her dubious future after all!
As the younger Yaan passed them by, Yaan finally spoke.
“Rui…you’re the same Rui that I know, with some different memories and experiences. Just because you’re an illusion right now, doesn’t mean anything. When we approach my younger self, you should touch the duplicated ring against the original ring. I’m sure you understand, right?”
Yaan spoke calmly as he turned and looked Rui in the eyes. His gaze was serene, and he smiled at Rui with a look that told her all she needed to know.
When she saw this gaze, she finally realised that all along, Yaan knew, or perhaps just assumed, that she was manipulating him in some way.
She cast him a deep look for a moment, no longer putting on a facade. It was a subtle change, but her expression became slightly more cold and distant compared to before.
However, somehow, Yaan could sense a trace of melancholy within her. This was not an act that she was putting on, but a true trace of emotion that Rui quickly hid away.
In the end, she still had many questions and doubts, but that was often the case for an elderly cultivator who had seen too many strange things. She gave Yaan a light nod, having understood that as soon as she left this place, he would take the correct course of action.
He had seen through her manipulation, but this was still within her calculations. In the end, Rui believed that her plan was a success - she had pushed Yaan towards the one path that would allow her to survive through the collapse of this world.
The younger, distraught looking Yaan slowed down slightly to catch his breath. Without another word, Rui took the stone ring from the older Yaan, sped towards the younger Yaan, then tapped the duplicated ring against the original ring on the younger Yaan’s hand.
The older Yaan watched with bright eyes as both Rui and her ring glowed red. In the next moment, she was sucked into the other stone ring and vanished, before the two rings fused back into one. The younger Yaan didn’t notice a thing, as to him, neither the duplicated Rui nor the second stone ring existed in his world.
“She actually agreed to act first…she went first because she always intended to do this, and proceeding with things in this way is logically the best way to make me follow suit. But alas…”
Yaan’s smile slowly faded as he stared at his younger self.
“This might be the first time that Rui has been unable to see through my true intentions. When I said that I wanted to obtain an Apex Grade, I wasn’t joking, Rui. The completion method that you have been pushing me towards can be considered perfect, but it’s not enough, especially not after all that has happened. It’s not about the grade…it’s not even about psyche cultivation anymore…”
Yaan’s expression became cold, as a shockingly ruthless look enveloped his eyes.
“It’s just about moving forwards.”
With that, Yaan rushed forth, charging directly at his younger self.