Chapter 277 - A Heart Without Desire
Back when Yaan was a child living in the Heavenly Path Sect, he used to paint in order to relax his mind between intense sessions of cultivation. Ever since he left the sect, he had rarely relaxed, and he hadn’t painted a single time since back then.
He just wanted to rest, but the Primordial Sage would not let him do so. Since he could not rest, he decided to paint.
The Spirit Plane Lord was just happy to see him up and doing something. His issue was something beyond her comprehension, and to be honest, she didn’t even understand how it was that he was still alive right now…
She was unable to examine the Dao Souls of others, because only those who had completed their own dao heart could do this. Even so, she realised that his current body was an illusion…and that illusion should be akin to a reflection of his Dao Soul…
After painting for some time, Yaan noticed that she was watching him. When he glanced down at his ‘body’, he realised the issue. Due to his current form being a reflection of his Dao Soul, even though he possessed his usual appearance, that appearance was plagued by an endless number of abyssal black cracks, which continually destroyed him as the damage to his Dao Soul was simultaneously mended over.
Being watched so closely by someone who was wearing such a pained expression, as if she couldn’t stand to see him like this, was distracting him from painting. Yaan didn’t want to be distracted right now…losing himself in painting was his way of enduring the meaninglessness of existence, but if she kept watching him in this way, then he would not be able to reach that mindless state.
In the end, this body of his was not actually Yaan’s Dao Soul, it was merely an illusion of his own creation. He instinctively took this form, because it reflected his most fundamental inner emotions. However, changing his appearance was simple; he simply adjusted the illusion.
In a single instant, those abyssal black cracks vanished without a trace.
His appearance returned to normal, normal being a young boy, aged 11 or 12, with a pure red silk robe, draped down around him. His hair was long and black, with a texture as silky as the robe itself, whilst his eyes were a unique mixture between red and brown.
He looked fragile, like a doll, yet also ethereal, like a wisened old scholar. The dissonance this created was already jarring, but combined with the agonising aura which seemed to always linger around Yaan like a bubble of his own existence, it would make people feel grief in their hearts when they saw him, despite not knowing why they felt this way.
Yaan’s appearance would cause people to feel uncertain, because his existence was unique in this world. He had no real body, he only had this illusory form. Even the Spirit Plane Lord did not know what to make of this…after all, something like this had never before appeared in this world.
The Spirit Plane Lord continued to stare at Yaan, causing him to sigh and turn to her.
“I understand that you’re concerned for me, but do you really need to stare so intently?”
“Ah…I apologise…I will leave you alone for a while…”
For some reason, the Spirit Plane Lord looked startled when Yaan called her out, as if surprised that he had noticed her gaze, but he didn’t care enough to think too deeply into it.
A few moments later, Yaan was left alone. For a while, he just stared at the white canvas expressionlessly.
In this giant hall, filled with countless pictures depicting the life of the Primordial Spirit, Yaan looked so small, so insignificant. He was completely dwarfed by any one of the countless paintings, both in terms of size, and majesty. In the past, being left alone in this incredible place would probably leave Yaan feeling awestruck, maybe even inspired. But now, he simply felt…
Empty.
He didn’t want to be here. He didn’t want to marvel at this palace, which was one of the most incredible treasures that could be found across the entire world. He didn’t even want to paint, really…but painting was better than being tormented by the Primordial Sage.
With a sigh, Yaan picked up the brush and began to paint.
What was he trying to paint exactly? The Spirit Plane Lord had left him with an abundant number of paints of every shade imaginable, and as many white canvases as he could possibly need…
But Yaan wasn’t sure what to paint.
He found himself swiping the brush across random colours, then across random parts of the canvas, without any rhyme or reason. After going through a dozen canvases and only producing drawings that even a child could make, Yaan paused, and thought to himself.
‘What do I want to paint…?’
He pondered this question for some time, before sighing deeply as he realised the problem.
He no longer wanted anything; he no longer desired anything.
But, he needed to paint something. He didn’t care enough to think too deeply into it, so Yaan simply decided to paint himself. Only, he wasn’t sure what he looked like right now. No, that wasn’t quite right - he had personally formed this illusory body of his, so he was aware of his physical appearance…but what about his expression? What about the look in his eyes?
For a brief moment, he considered looking in a mirror, but he immediately decided against it. It was unknown whether he simply lacked the motivation to find mirror…or if perhaps, for some reason, he didn’t want to see himself right now…
In the end, Yaan decided to paint his past self. Which past self exactly? He decided to paint his youngest self, the him from before he even left Lightstone Village.
He painted…and painted…and painted…
Time and time again, Yaan finished the picture, but then destroyed it, seeing no reason to keep it around. Whenever he finished a painting, he simply waved his hand, causing the painting to burn to ash.
He did this without even thinking about it. He didn’t find it strange that he was able to manifest such power, despite lacking any form of cultivation. After all, his dao comprehension remained fully intact, and after going through his Immortal Tribulation, Yaan’s dao comprehension had advanced by leaps and bounds in many regards.
He painted a picture, then destroyed it. Painted, and destroyed. Created, and destroyed. Life, and death…
Unknowingly, his dao comprehension started to improve, alongside his skill in painting. When the Spirit Plane Lord checked in on him and saw this, she was genuinely shocked…her brother had never pursued dao before, this was unprecedented! Not only that, but his comprehension was a little bit too shocking, wasn’t it?
He was comprehending multiple principle daos simultaneously, just as a side effect of painting?
She had returned to the main hall multiple times over the past few years, but each time, when she found Yaan engrossed in painting, she ended up sighing to herself, then leaving without a word. However, after watching him go through the same cycle of painting and then destroying the painting, an endless number of times for 100 years without pause, she finally couldn’t help but speak out.
“Brother, have you painted enough yet? Come, why don’t you do something else? We can go outside, we can look around the Spirit Plane, or…maybe you could start cultivating again…”
Yaan paused. Just as he was about to start another painting, the Spirit Plane Lord brought him out from his trance. Once again, he was forced to face the ceaseless emptiness of it all, causing him to sigh deeply. Yaan slowly turned towards the Spirit Plane Lord and looked her dead in the eyes, as he spoke four words which left her shocked and unable to respond for a long time.
“I will not cultivate.”
These words alone were not enough to leave her feeling shocked, but the ripples which spread out from Yaan’s illusory body as he spoke, were. These ripples…were the ripples that would manifest when a person swore a dao oath!
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“Brother, you…! You actually…you actually swore a dao oath! You can’t cultivate now! If you cultivate after swearing such a dao oath, your dao heart will shatter!”
It was only natural that her reaction would be quite extreme, after all, in her mind, Yaan was her brother, the Primordial Devil, one of the strongest beings to have ever lived! And he…he actually just cut off his potential to regain his past power so casually!
Yaan faced the shocked woman expressionlessly. When she saw his complete indifference towards this world-shaking matter, the Spirit Plane Lord’s expression changed multiple times, until her face became quite stern.
“I refuse to believe it…I refuse to believe that no part of you desires to continue living in this world!”
After saying this, she waved her hand. Yaan couldn’t resist, but even if he could, he wouldn’t bother to do so. The entire world blurred before his eyes, and when everything stabilised, he found himself standing above a lake.
Even though he was stood a few hundred feet in the air, he felt as if he was standing on solid ground. Clearly, this was the Spirit Plane Lord’s doing. Whilst she felt certain that he would be able to fly using his dao comprehension…she didn’t feel certain that he would bother to do so.
Yaan stared down at the glistening waters. This was clearly no ordinary water, as every single droplet seemed to reflect seven colours of light in every direction. However, if you looked directly down at the water, the glistening effect would vanish, and it would be like looking into a mirror.
For a reason that he was yet to realise, Yaan avoided looking directly down.
The lake stretched out for as far as the eye could see, giving Yaan the impression that this was not a lake, but an ocean. The strange stillness of the water was the only aspect that gave it away as a lake.
“This place is called the Infinity Lake. It is known as a Primordial Treasure, meaning it is a treasure that was created naturally in this world when the four planes were first born. The lake waters are incredibly powerful, even I would need to use a significant portion of my strength to shift the water. That is why I decided to use this lake to collect and store True Inheritances.”
Yaan remained silent. Seeing that she had failed to peak his interest, the Spirit Plane Lord sighed, but continued with her explanation anyway.
“True Inheritances are inheritances that contain the essence of a fallen being’s life. There is no such thing as a Mortal True Inheritance, because mortals do not have the ability to create such a thing. Immortal True Inheritances are extremely uncommon too, because even immortals struggle to fuse their life into their inheritance. But almost all Divine Inheritances are True Inheritances…most divinities implement certain methods within themselves, so that when they die, their True Inheritance will appear in the world…”
After the Spirit Plane Lord paused, Yaan finally spoke.
“And you want me to take away one of these Divine True Inheritances?”
“I do.” She nodded solemnly. “If you don’t care about the inheritance, then this particular inheritance should, in theory, be simple for you to take away. However, if you start to covet the inheritance…you will never be able to obtain it.”
For a while, Yaan remained silent. When he finally spoke, he said:
“If I get this inheritance for you, will you let me paint?”
“This is a Divine True Inheritance, you’re saying that you really don’t care about keeping it for yourself?” She turned to face Yaan with a strange expression.
Yaan shook his head lightly. He was being given a once in a lifetime opportunity here, and yet…
“I would rather paint.”
After mulling over his words for some time, the Spirit Plane Lord shook her head gently.
“If you are truly able to get the inheritance, then I will do my utmost to rekindle the fire within your heart…but if I fail after doing all that I can, then you may do as you please…”
Yaan sighed. This sounded like it was going to be tiresome…but in the end, he nodded, agreeing to go along with her wishes.
The world blurred once again. The Spirit Plane Lord didn’t so much as move, but even so, she was able to transport them across the lake, directly to the inheritance. She hoped to use this inheritance to prove to her ‘brother’ that he still felt desire in his heart. She truly, truly hoped…
This lake was vast. Even though there were apparently many inheritances placed across the surface of the lake, they were spread out so far apart from one another that right now, Yaan could only see one.
Yaan wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but it wasn’t this. His first encounter with an ‘inheritance’ was the Primordial Devil’s setup for his reincarnation. That place was its own self-contained micro-realm, it was still far beyond Yaan’s understanding.
He had also encountered a few inheritances on the Southern Continent, but he only saw their outsides, he did not enter them. On the Blood Plane, he also came across some inheritances, but the were all left behind by Foundation Step cultivators, they were not impressive at all.
When the Spirit Plane Lord spoke of this ‘True Divine Inheritance’, he had been expecting something grand. Instead, what he found was a small wooden podium positioned a short 100 steps away from him. Atop the podium, there was an ordinary looking scroll. The scroll looked extremely old and it was rolled up and bound with a golden ribbon, but apart from that, it looked completely ordinary, there didn’t seem to be anything strange about it.
The Spirit Plane Lord stared at the scroll with a serious expression. After a while, she withdrew her gaze and turned towards Yaan.
“What do you see?”
“A normal looking podium and scroll.” Yaan replied honestly.
“Indeed.” She nodded. “At this distance of 100 steps away, it looks quite ordinary. But with each step you take towards the scroll, its magnificence becomes increasingly apparent. This continues for 50 steps. By the time people reach 50 steps from the scroll, they are filled with an overwhelming sense of desire. However, for the last 50 steps, this desire is flipped around and used against them. The more they desire the scroll, the more difficult it is to traverse those final 50 steps.”
Yaan stared at the scroll, but no matter how he looked at it, it seemed extremely ordinary. In fact, he couldn’t even see any defensive measures preventing people from taking it away. This didn’t really make sense to him…
“Can’t you just take it by force? Is there some sort of formation preventing even you from taking it away?”
The Spirit Plane Lord smiled and shook her head lightly.
“True Inheritances sometimes contain formations, but this isn’t the essence of their function. They operate based on their creator’s will, which is infused with their life at the moment of their death. When a person leaves their True Inheritance behind, they naturally want to prevent people from taking it by force…so, if the will within the inheritance is not abided by, the True Inheritance will self-destruct before it can be stolen illicitly.”
“I see. You are able to forcefully resist the power that flips around your desire, but if you try to do that, the inheritance will be destroyed.” Yaan nodded slowly.
“Exactly.”
“Hmm…”
Yaan didn’t say anything else. Now that he understood the inheritance, he knew what he needed to do to obtain it. Really, it was quite simple…he just needed to walk forwards.
Yaan took the first step. He paused and looked at the scroll again, but…it looked no different.
He took another step.
And another.
At first, he paused between each step to examine the scroll, but when he saw no change with each step, he stopped bothering. He kept his gaze locked on the scroll as he walked, but…
It still looked just as mundane as it did at first glance.
After walking 50 steps, Yaan paused. At this point, the Spirit Plane Lord was no longer looking at the scroll, but at Yaan. When she saw his plain expression, she subtly clenched her fists.
“There’s no way…he must feel something…anything…”
Yaan continued walking.
As he walked, his expression remained neutral.
As he walked, his heart remained unchanged.
As he walked, his mind was not even on the scroll, rather, he had long since stopped caring about this inheritance. Honestly, he never cared about obtaining it to begin with.
Why would he get excited over an ordinary looking scroll?
Why would he get excited over anything?
What could an inheritance give him? A powerful cultivation technique? Some incredible cultivation resources? Something that could instantly boost his cultivation?
Cultivation…what a joke.
Cultivation had never brought him anything good. Life…had never brought him anything good.
Yaan sighed. He looked at the plain looking scroll before him, this ‘True Divine Inheritance’ that countless beings had coveted over the last hundreds of thousands of years…and he felt nothing. In fact, he was only doing this to appease the Spirit Plane Lord, so that she would leave him alone, and he would be able to engross himself in painting, forgetting about the emptiness of it all.
He reached out and took the scroll. He felt no desire towards it, nor did he feel any rejection when he took it into his hand.
When he picked up the scroll, the golden ribbon which bound it shut lit up with golden light. The ribbon dissolved and covered the scroll, causing it to glow golden.
When the Spirit Plane Lord saw this, even from 100 feet away, she was filled with an intense desire. She almost took a step forwards, but she stopped herself at the last moment.
Yaan expressionlessly glanced at the scroll, and for a moment, he had a strange thought…he thought that this golden light…was quite dull…
Silently, the scroll dissolved into a stream of golden light. The light shot into the centre of Yaan’s forehead, causing his eyes to widen for a brief instant.
The world before him vanished, and he found himself floating within a black void. This void…was quite peaceful. It was empty, but there was nothing here to bother him. Yaan realised that for the time being, even the Primordial Sage had seemingly vanished from his Sea of Consciousness!
But this tranquillity was bound to be shattered eventually.
A bright white light began to manifest from the distance. The light drew closer and closer, until eventually, it formed the figure of a person. This person was a woman, a woman made from light…clearly, this was not truly a person, but the manifestation of the inheritance’s will.
Even so, this should be the actual appearance of the person who left behind the inheritance. She looked…ordinary.
Her face was plain, if a bit pale. Her eyes were brown, but slightly dull and lifeless, and yet, there was a hint of understanding contained within. She wore a plain white robe, and her black hair was not styled in any sort of fashion, it simply hung down from her head, completing her ordinary appearance.
Aside from looking quite normal, Yaan felt like he could see a deep, hidden pain within her gaze.
“If you are here, it means that you completed my inheritance. If you are here…then I am sorry, because, like me, you have arrived at this unfortunate state of desirelessness…like me, you have cultivated the wrong path…or perhaps, you are an even more pitiful a person than myself, because you…are able to continue living in this state…”
Yaan remained silent, listening to the figure expressionlessly. He was familiar with ‘wills’ because the Primordial Devil had left behind something similar in the 4th Trial Realm. Wills were not sentient or conscious, they simply carried out the instructions of their creator. They could also take the form and exude the aura of their creator, making them quite useful.
“During my life as a divinity, I was known as the Heartless Deity…many cultivators have attempted to cultivate a heartless heart, and I believe that others with this heart should have attained divinity…but only I was open about my heart, so only I was given this title…”
“And only I truly completed the heartless dao heart.”
“The moment I completed my heartless dao heart, I realised my mistake. To become truly heartless, you must lose your desire. Your desire to live, your desire to cultivate…but a heart without the desire to live…cannot live.”
“The instant I completed my dao heart was the instant that I died. I left behind this inheritance without much hope of anyone inheriting it…no, I left behind this inheritance, hoping that nobody would be able to inherit it…but if you are here, then it can only mean that you have lost all desire.”
“I do not know how you managed to survive until now in this state. I do not know why you decided to continue living in this state…but it doesn’t matter. This inheritance of mine is not complicated, nor is it useful to anyone aside from you. I only want to convince you…that you must not follow this path.”
After saying this, the will suddenly collapsed into innumerable fragments of light. The light stormed towards Yaan and filled his head, causing his mind to fill with countless images as he was thrust into-
Abruptly, the transfer of memories was cut off. Yaan found himself standing above the lake once again. He stared blankly at the wooden podium before him, until finally, he looked up.
He understood what had happened. The will had attempted to transfer its creator’s memories into his mind; that was the true inheritance. But, the transfer was interrupted.
As for who could be responsible for interrupting the transfer of memories into Yaan’s mind? Obviously, it was the Primordial Sage.
Yaan didn’t even bother asking her why she did it, because frankly, he didn’t care. He didn’t care about the inheritance to begin with after all. Even so, The Primordial Sage within his illusory Sea of Consciousness actually took the initiative to explain herself to him.
“Your mind cannot tolerate the memories of a divinity, the transfer would have killed you. I will return these memories to you when you have the ability to process them.”
“I see.” Yaan replied plainly. With everything that had just happened, he was able to see through quite a few things, but he didn’t mention these right now. He pushed these thoughts to the back of his mind, then retuned his attention to the outside world.
He looked back towards the Spirit Plane Lord, knowing that she would probably have a barrage of questions regarding the inheritance, but before he could even formulate a half-hearted explanation, he paused.
The Spirit Plane Lord was crying. She was already feeling devastated, because her ‘brother’s’ heart had fallen to such a pitiful state. However, she kept herself together, she stayed strong, she would not show her brother this sort of pitiful expression…
But then, without warning, ‘she’, appeared.
“Hello, sister. I apologise, it has been quite some time.” A young girl with emerald eyes and a black crystal embedded in her forehead, spoke to the Spirit Plane Lord in an emotionless voice.
The Primordial Sage had revealed herself in the outside world. Finally, she had made her move.