The morning felt gloomy as the weather, oppressed by thick layers of cloud that didn't let a ray of light through, and it matches the ambiance of the palace caused by the new king's mood. It turned into the total opposite since the last time I was here, which felt like years ago. Evrart mentioned that I was gone for two months, but it didn't feel like it. Things got confusing since the Ruivenfiere Empire is using a different format of the calendar. There's no point stressing about it anymore.

The physician entered the room, and he immediately bowed upon seeing me. Unbelief, however, was written all over his face. I can’t believe my people would look at me as if I’m a ghost. What’s more is, even if the guards knew that I’m back, they didn’t even knock to ask for my permission to enter. Have they completely forgotten that I’m still the princess?

But then, this isn’t the right time to reflect on my ill feelings. Evrart’s condition is more important.

“Forgive me for my rudeness, Your Highness. The guards didn’t mention that you’ve returned and you’re attending to His Majesty,” he said and I stood up to give way for him to check on Evrart. I know that he’s still burning up.

“His Majesty is quite delirious. Just last night he couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw me, saying that I’m the seventh Thyra he saw. Sometimes his words make sense, but there are also times when he's confused about what's real and what's not. Do you mind telling me how he ended up like this?” I let out a sigh as I remember the things he said last night – his words demanded me to be patient and hold myself back from expressing what I feel deep down. Shouting at the guards was bad enough. It's not what a composed princess like me would do.

"We're aware that His Majesty has drowned himself with alcohol, but we became afraid to approach him because he throws whatever he can grab and shouts at whoever enters the room. He’s been like this for about two weeks now, ever since we heard the news that Queen Corianne died. Rumors said that it was because of suicide, but some people find it hard to believe because there wasn’t a funeral held at all. That said, some were saying that she was exiled. But those are hard to prove because there are no traces of her, including the young prince Marius. His Majesty lost it after, and Her Majesty, Queen Zenobia is the one handling the king’s role. Thanks to you, His Majesty seemed to be calmer than he was a few days ago.”

So, it’s true that Corianne has been missing. I may not know why, but I have a feeling that she’s alive somewhere. If that’s the case, I should know what she’s planning next. I won’t let her get in the way again.

It may seem selfish, but for the time being, it's better that Corianne is not present. Things are starting to fall into place. People struggled to deal with Evrart due to his volatile reactions, but they should have made more of an effort to connect with him. Had I not arrived when I did, they might have found him dead from dehydration or malnutrition. Evrart isn’t an Izavene like me who can live without food. I myself can feel hunger too at times, having human blood.

“I appreciate the information. Now I’m getting the picture of what’s going on. I'll be the one who'll attend to him when he wakes up so that he won't hurt anyone. I know how to tame my brother. Write down the things I should do when you’re not here and the dosages of the medicines he’ll be taking. I’ve been awake all night, so I’ll leave things to you for now. I’ll be getting some rest in my room.” The physician nodded in approval upon hearing my orders.

“Understood. I’ll do as instructed, Your Highness. Have a good rest.” I stepped out of the room and the guards acknowledged my presence by lowering their heads. They aren’t the guards from last night, and just like the one last time, they're in shock, except that they’re not making it obvious. It’s all written in their eyes.

“Tell Her Majesty the Queen that the princess of Eurhyia has returned and I want to visit her by tomorrow or as soon as possible. We have important things to discuss. Are we clear?”

“We’re going to deliver your message as you ordered, Your Highness,” The guards chorused as they both placed their right hand on their chests, lowering their heads once again.

──•~❉᯽❉~•──

The queen extended an invitation for me to join her for lunch in the dining room of the main palace. I had anticipated that our meeting would be over tea, but her invitation to the main palace serves as a signal to the servants of my return. It's only a matter of time before word of my arrival spreads throughout the palace.

I curtsied, holding my dress to the side, under her watchful gaze. It felt strange, considering that in the past, she was the one performing this gesture as I was the princess. But now that she's the queen, I have to show my manners as someone lower to her.

"Thank you for granting my request, Your Majesty. It's – " Before I could finish, the queen rushed towards me and enveloped me in a hug. This gesture signified one thing: she was setting aside her royal status. In this moment, she was not the queen, but simply Zenobia, who was once my friend. This was the last reaction I expected from her. But I decided to let it pass without comment.

"Your Majesty?" I stammered, unable to find the right words to express my confusion about her sudden display of affection. It seemed like an overreaction considering our limited closeness. If anything, I felt closer to her brother, Jarvis. He was the only person I had wholeheartedly trusted, and yet he turned his back on me.

Zenobia pulled away and held my arms, almost shaking me to prove that I’m real. “You have no idea how worried I was when you disappeared! All of us were worried. I’m so glad you’re back,” tears began pouring from her eyes, and even if I sense her sincerity, I still can’t believe that she’s this soft. Our kingdom needs strong people to lead, not people who easily get carried away with their emotions. Even the empress told me that. And yet …

“Please, have a seat. Our food will be served in a while,” She assured, giving me a warm smile.

"I believe Your Majesty is curious about my whereabouts and my intentions. The truth is, I cannot remain in Eurhyia for an extended period of time, not until the kingdom's issues are resolved. My life is at risk here due to the loss of faith from the people. I returned from Marrossi to assist His Majesty, and once he is stable, I must go back to Marrossi to help a friend in a war. Only after fulfilling these obligations can I return to the life I believe I deserve," I explained, simplifying the situation. I hoped she wouldn't inquire further into the details, as discussing my encounters with Azriel and everything related to him still stings.

This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

There are no certainties when it comes to survival in times of war, as the lives of those involved are always at risk. Despite how foolish it may sound, fighting for the person I love is the greatest sacrifice I can offer, and achieving that goal should be sufficient.

It’s funny how these foolish feelings gave me the willingness to help him. It's not like me, and this whole time, it felt like these feelings aren’t real – as if I’m being manipulated to feel this way, but I couldn’t tell why, or if I’m just being in denial. But I know I'll regret it for the rest of my life if I'll leave him alone in Hervouet’s hellhole.

The assurance that my sacrifice will be worth it one day … will be the only thing I can ask for. My life as a princess of Eurhyia is over, anyway.

"Go back to the life you deserve? It sounds like you intend to reclaim your position as a princess with your honor restored," she remarked, piercing her steak with a fork and cutting it with a knife. As I pondered her words, I realized that while I had made plans for Azriel, I had neglected to plan for myself. The initial plan I had envisioned, becoming his empress, was no longer feasible due to their strict rules. As an alexandrite Izavene, I am not qualified to hold such a title.

"In my perspective, marriage should be founded on mutual love and affection from both sides. Unrequited love can be a source of daily pain. I had suitors in the past, but some were driven by their greed for power and judged me solely based on my appearance. I would rather be with someone I genuinely love, someone who accepts both my good and bad sides. I desire a partner who is sincere and selfless. I believe that marriage is not something to be rushed; love should be patient and unconditional," I expressed, aware that my preferences may sound idealistic. But I believe, even other people would agree with this.

It's just that … being with the wrong person once is enough to make me learn the lesson, and I don't want to make the same mistake twice. I can turn my enemies into friends and love them, romantic love tends to complicate things.

I don’t even want to think about all these things. Not until I’m ready – and I’m way too far from that.

"Well, as long as you won't close the doors. There are some neighboring kingdoms. You can be a princess or a queen. If not, you can be someone's duchess or marchioness. Those things can be arranged … after the war you're talking about since you're determined to fight for that friend of yours. He must be special to you," Her suggestions made me tighten my hold on my utensils, but I kept on telling myself to be calm for I can’t be rude in front of the queen.

Special, my foot. He’s the cause of my greatest joy and pain, and I hate myself for loving him.

──•~❉᯽❉~•──

A creaking sound echoed in the hallway as the guards opened the door of Evrart's room, letting me enter. The disoriented king looked at me as he sat on the couch, and the light of the westering sun streamed through the window behind him, casting his face in a dark shadow.

"Evrart, tell me what you're feeling. Do you feel ill? Exhausted? Fine? Do you want to eat something, have your clothes changed, or –" his lack of response made me stop speaking further. Neither of us is breaking the ice, and the longer the silence went on, the more uncomfortable I get. I began twisting my hands nervously, and I can feel my temples aching.

Evrart’s eyes were distant, and sadness is glinting in them. I think … even he can't find the right words to express what he's feeling. How long will we be like this?

“I only saw one Thyra today. You’re … real, right?” his eyes were filled with hope, but even though his lips rose into a cheeky smile out of the blue, tears began spilling from his eyes, filled with bottomless despair that shatters my heart.

Tears began falling from my eyes as I sat next to him. I held his face with my hands, letting him fix his eyes on me.

“I’m real, okay? It’s me. I just came back, and I’m going to take care of you. So please, be well. Don’t be stubborn now. You’ll eat when it’s meal time. You’ll drink your medicines and do things that will make you feel better. Tell me everything you want to say, express whatever you want. You have to let out that stress in you." At some point, I no longer know if what I'm saying is correct. I didn't give my words a lot of thought, which is the opposite of what I usually do.

“You’ll take care of me, sister?" he flashed an exhausted grin, which looks like a good response compared to earlier. "Then, I want to sleep on your lap later. Just like how I did when we were kids when we're resting once we get tired of playing in the garden."

I closed my eyes and I couldn’t help but smile as I wiped my tears. “Fine, let’s do that.”

"Then when I get better, we'll go sparring," he added, and his replies confuse me if he's now in the right mind, or if it's something that won't last long. Sword sparring is one of our favorite activities as siblings.

A loud knock on the door cut our conversation short, and I stood up as I gave the guard permission to enter. The guard entered and knelt on one of his knees.

“Please excuse my sudden appearance, but I need Her Highness’ immediate reaction. Earlier, one of your servants was about to clean your room. But the servant saw an intruder in your room, leaving a letter on your bed. The intruder transformed into a bird and flew away outside the window after.”

Izavene. How can Azriel send a messenger Izavene that fast? I was only gone for two days. Can it be something urgent?

I have to write a reply before that messenger returns. I can’t let anyone in the palace be suspicious.

“Do you have the letter with you?”

“The letter is in your room, Your Highness.”

I assured Evrart that I’ll be back and headed to my room to see the letter. My heart was beating fast with each step I’m making, but when I opened the letter, it wasn’t from Azriel – but from the Grand Duke of Herzoyona Eskal, Raleigh Von Laszlo. The letter is sealed by a stamp with Eskal’s crest, and there’s nothing written outside the envelope.

I pulled out the letter, which was written in the local language of the Ruivenfiere Empire.

Lady Thyra,

I’m writing to you in this language to avoid your people from understanding the letter because I’m a cautious person by nature. I’d like to inform you that I told Prince Hervouet that you’re staying in Eskal, for he believes that we’re allies.

When I put things together, it will be questionable if he’ll find out that you’re not living in his loyal dog’s house, or anywhere in Marrossi. He can’t find out that you’re in Eurhyia either because he might harm your kingdom. Who knows how his mind works?

It will take about a week if he’ll travel by boat to visit my castle in Eskal, and I believe he won’t be desperate to travel that far if he’s only after to check on you. On the other hand, it will take around 11-15 days if you’ll come from Eurhyia to Eskal by boat, including the stop overs.

The second prince isn’t aware of your secret engagement with the crown prince, and it will make things complicated if you and the crown prince will be seen together, especially now that he’s expected to focus on his marriage.

You mentioned that you’re not entirely safe in Eurhyia. Thus, I’m opening Eskal’s doors for you. If in case you need my assistance, do write a letter and I’ll send someone to take it. I can also have someone escort you to travel if you’ll see the need to be here.

Your ally,

Raleigh Von Laszlo