I released a sigh of relief as I emerged from the bathroom in my chamber, gently drying my hair with a towel. The dreadful day had finally come to a close, and the act of taking a bath had alleviated the stress that had been building up since morning. The knowledge that I had no other obligations but to sleep brought a glimmer of happiness to my weary soul.
While the prospect of having only sleep as my sole obligation brings a sense of relief, the unfortunate reality is that there are still two days remaining for this event. In Ruivenfiere culture, weddings are celebrated over a span of three days, and the main palace is meticulously prepared to accommodate the occasion. At this moment, it is expected that Kathrynne and I would be in the shared room for our wedding night. However, that is the furthest thing from my mind. I wonder if Kathrynne is currently waiting there, engaged in bathing or preparing herself. Would it disappoint or upset her if I choose not to join her?
It’s not like I care about her feelings, for I care for someone else’s. I felt my cheeks go a bit warm at the thought that Kathrynne’s chambers isn't the one I wanted to stop by. This feels like immediate adultery on my part, but she should’ve known by now that even if we’ve been friends since we were kids, a lot of things changed in the past eight years we haven't seen each other. If anything, she feels like a total stranger to me, acting to be someone I knew.
Am I imagining things? She definitely looks like the Kathrynne that I know. But I can’t get rid of the feeling that something’s wrong. Still, due to the limited options, I chose her instead of the other two.
Cherlindrea, despite her reputation for elegance, dignity, and cleverness, remains the sister of my former fiancée, Adrienne, who betrayed my trust. I have no desire to become entangled in their family affairs any further. As for Anastasia, Kathrynne's sister, she possesses an enthusiastic nature but tends to be easily influenced by her emotions, often acting impulsively based on her current feelings. Such traits are not befitting of an empress.
To be honest, I have reservations about Kathrynne's suitability to assume the role of empress due to her relatively weak personality. If race is not a determining factor, Thyra would be the most suitable candidate for the position. If not Thyra, then Eviona would be a viable alternative. Even the current empress would agree to that.
Gently, I closed my eyes and grasped the cold doorknob of the connecting door that led to Thyra's chambers from mine. I wondered if she was still awake. Perhaps it wouldn't disturb her if I simply took a quick peek, right?
I gently pushed the door open, doing my best not to make a sound. She was sitting on the floor facing the fireplace, which is on the opposite side of where the door is located. Thankfully, she didn’t notice my presence yet, but the moment I got on the opposite side of her bed, she immediately looked back, saying, “Who’s there?”
“It’s just me, relax," I responded, and she became frozen as she sees me coming in front of her, with three daggers and small weapons on display made my stomach turn. There are also four bottles with different colors of fluid, and I hope that what I'm thinking is wrong.
“Seems like someone’s preparing her weapons and putting poison on it,” I commented, and she averted her gaze, clearly avoiding acknowledging that she had been caught in the act.
"Why are you here? You should be with Kathrynne on your wedding night," she questioned, her eyebrows furrowed. It was evident that she found it disrespectful for me to enter her chambers without knocking. She deliberately avoided making eye contact with me.
“Technically, I own everything in this place because this is the crown prince’s palace, and that includes this room.”
She rose from her seat, shooting me a piercing glare – knowing that at this moment, she was cornered by me.
In a swift motion, I grabbed one of her daggers and placed it in her hand. Wrapping my arms around her waist, I pulled her closer to me, positioning her daggered hand under my neck.
"You've been waiting for this moment, haven't you? And you knew all along that I'm the one who killed your father. You went here for revenge because you want me to pay for what I've done, am I right?" I asked, and I faked a smile to lighten up the situation.
"Then do it. Now,” I held her tighter, and she only looked at me with her eyes welling up with tears. Her eyes alone said it all – that this is the best chance she has to kill me, but despite the overflowing hatred written in her eyes filled with guilt and pain all at once, she knows she couldn’t do it. She responded to my words with a sneer.
“You’re right, I knew it all along that it’s you. It was Her Majesty herself who confirmed that. That fact is both a blessing and a curse to me. But,” her lips began shaking, including her hand. “I just can’t do it. You won the game, and I’m such a fool for getting involved in the first place.” She bit her lips and let go of the dagger pushing me back with her strength.
"I'm such a fool because I can't believe that I ended up having feelings for my enemy. I would be lying to myself if I’ll keep denying that to convince myself that it’s … " my heart skipped a beat at her confession, but I tried my best to appear calm. "Are you happy now? Just leave me alone and have a joyful life. She's waiting for you. I guarantee you that taking your life is no longer a part of my plan. So please, just leave."
Her countenance appeared somber, and her face flushed with embarrassment. She turned away, attempting to conceal her feelings, but I gently grasped her wrist and drew her closer to me. Embracing her tenderly, our hearts seemed to synchronize for a fleeting moment, as we felt the rhythm of each other's heartbeat.
“You’re making me leave without even waiting for what I have to say?” I asked, and I felt her body shiver.
“I don’t want to hear it, and I don’t have to. I no longer have the courage to face you, so don’t make me feel worse than I already am.”
If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.
“I insist. So just listen to what I have to say,” I gently pulled her away and she sat on the edge of her bed while she wipes her tears away. I knelt in front of her, swallowing all the pride I have as a prince.
"… When the recent war broke out, I must confess, I channeled my power into my sword, causing it to ignite in flames. Yes, I killed the king," I began, my voice filled with remorse. "But as I witnessed my army being decimated on the battlefield, struck down by what seemed like a torrent of lightning unleashed by you, I realized that I didn't recognize the face behind that power. In that moment, I knew that my only option was to retreat and save the few who still had a chance at survival."
“… Since that fateful day, I have been plagued by restless nights, tormented by overwhelming guilt. Before I drift off to sleep, the scenario replays in my mind, haunting me relentlessly. I can vividly imagine the grief-stricken families, mourning the loss of their loved ones who perished in the war. I am consumed by thoughts of how the Eurhyians coped with the devastating news of their king's demise, knowing that I was the cause of their sorrow.” A heavy sigh escaped my lips as I struggled to find the right words to express the thoughts that had been tormenting my mind.
“… As I drift off to sleep, nightmares from the war plague my subconscious. Sometimes, I find myself confronted by your father, drenched in blood, interrogating me or attempting to take my life. In other dreams, I witness my empire crumbling as its citizens lose faith in me, accusing me of being responsible for the lives lost. I even dream of facing execution. It may sound unbelievable, but I have repeatedly seen you in my dreams, blaming me for everything and executing me without mercy. Since that day, peaceful sleep has eluded me, consumed by overwhelming guilt.”
“… When I first discovered that you were the one responsible for the devastation, I knew I had to apologize. However, fear gripped me, as I observed your unwavering resolve and willingness to take lives when necessary. I was hesitant, afraid that if I approached you with an apology, you would swiftly end my life without a second thought. I believed that perhaps performing acts of kindness for others, without any conditions, would alleviate my guilt. I hoped that by earning the love and forgiveness of the people, I could somehow atone for my sins. Yet, I soon realized that no amount of good deeds could ever fully erase the pain I inflicted upon countless individuals, including yourself. It is through genuine repentance, acknowledging my actions with humility and courage, that I believe true redemption lies.”
I looked up to her to see her expression, but it was blank. I held her cold hands, but even if I try to hide it, my hands couldn’t stop shaking.
"... and I understand that mere words can never fully undo the irreversible damage that has been done. But please know that I am genuinely, deeply sorry for the pain I have caused you and your nation. It was never my intention to bring harm upon you. I long for your forgiveness, even though I am fully aware that I may not deserve it." With a heavy heart, I lowered my head, resting my forehead against her hands. Tears welled up in my eyes, though they did not spill over. In that moment, I felt the touch of gentle hands cradling my cheek. As I looked up, I saw a remarkable transformation in her expression. The once stern and troubled countenance had softened into one of relief, and she bestowed upon me a warm, reassuring smile.
“I forgive you," those words are the last thing I was expecting to hear from her. "Do you really think that I can't forgive someone I love? What you should do is forgive yourself. That's the last thing left to be free from all the guilt. Just like you, I have my faults too. I wiped out your army, I killed almost everyone. I suffered the consequences too since I threw up lots of blood and was unconscious for four days. The problem is, my heart was filled with nothing but hatred, and it was like killing everyone is the only key for me to find relief. But I was wrong. You shouldn’t blame yourself, because it’s all my fault. I’m sorry about everything too – for killing your men, and for hating you. It was hard for me to tell Hervouet that I’m the one who’ll deal with you, but then again, I wouldn’t do that. Not anymore.”
I managed to smile back as I heard her words – unexpected words, but those are enough for me to remove the thorns I had from within. I believe that this will get the best sleep possible tonight, and I can't be grateful enough. We both know that at this moment marks the first step towards healing and moving forward from the pain that has burdened us both.
The past cannot be changed, but the future can be bright – for we have the choice to make wiser decisions.
I wanted to pledge that I’ll do my best not to hurt her again, but this moment alone might be painful to her since I couldn't even say anything when she admitted her feelings toward me. Will saying that I feel the same proper for this situation? Or maybe I should say it some other time?
“I hate to break it to you, but you should go. It’s been a long day, and things being clarified this way is a relief for both of us. It’s clear now that we’re not going to end up killing each other. I also have to clean up these things.” She picked up the daggers and sheathed them, and finally hid everything under the bed.
"You know what, Jarvis once told me that I should be wary of you because you're a poisonous flower," she looked back to see what else she should know. "I thought it was just figurative because figuratively speaking it's true. But I didn't know that it also applies in a literal manner."
“Is that a compliment or an offense? I’m on my own and I can’t be dependent on others. It’s my way of protecting myself. Just so you know, these aren't completely poisons. Sure, all of them are. But two of these will become an antidote when mixed. It makes the body suffer more, but that will only happen at first. I tried it myself," her words are short, but I sensed the weight of her words.
“You mean?”
“I was poisoned a couple of times,” she sighed and stood up while showing me all the bottles. “The green and red poisons here, they can become an antidote. When mixed and hardened, it becomes a Tiaiell – it will look like a small sugar cube. It’s how I neutralized the poisoned tea that Queen Corianne used. I have those two to help myself when I get poisoned, and I have the white and violet poisons here for different purposes. I don’t have to tell you everything. So just go back to your chambers and sleep. I’m tired myself. I know you are too.”
“Okay, I’ll leave. But I’ll ask for one last thing,” I said, extending my arms out wide. A knowing grin appeared on her face, understanding what I was asking for. She hesitated for a moment, but then slowly approached, as if unsure who should make the first move.
With a surge of emotion, I reached out and enveloped her in a tight embrace, pouring all my strength into the hug. She reciprocated, but it felt more like a friendly embrace, nothing else.
“You’re too thin. It feels like I’m going to break your bones if I’ll hug you tighter,” she pulled away and pouted, slightly annoyed. But we both laughed anyway.
“Yeah, right. Whatever. Seriously, just go back to your chambers. This is like the fourth time I told you to get out. I don’t care if you’re the crown prince who owns everything here. I don’t have to spell things out for you.”
“You were counting? That’s ridiculous,” I chuckled.
“Okay, this is the fifth. Now, go.” She said, playfully pushing me back to the door where I entered.
But I can no longer stand it. I’ve been restraining myself in my head for a while now, but my heart is beating too fast, and I couldn’t hold back any longer.
I gently grasped her wrist, causing her to pause in surprise. Without uttering another word, I tenderly cupped her cheek and closed my eyes as our lips met in a kiss. I anticipated her resistance, but to my astonishment, she didn't push me away.
Loving an enemy … is both bitter and sweet.