"It appears you've had yet another tough day, Eviona," my gaze scanned the dimly lit room, and I was taken aback by the voice of someone who had entered unnoticed – Aunt Corianne. "You see, alcohol won't resolve anything."

"If you're here just to reprimand me, please go. I've had my fill of that today." I sighed and rested my head on the couch, feeling the world blur in my vision.

I shut my eyes, fighting back tears, as I didn't want anyone to witness my vulnerability.

My head was tenderly cradled by gentle hands – the hands of a woman who, like myself, kept hidden from society.

She carefully lifted my upper body and settled on the couch, gently placing my head on her lap.

“So, what happened? I’m all ears.” Corianne’s offer to listen is tempting, and at this point, it’s either I’ll carry the burden on my own or let someone carry it with me.

“It's your sister who can be called the worst mother who ever existed." I still kept my eyes closed to avoid seeing her reaction, and odd enough, resting on someone’s lap felt comforting. Corianne and I didn’t know each other for long, but one thing is for sure – both of us have scarred souls due to rejection and resentment by people we’re expecting to embrace us.

That common ground is enough for us to make a connection.

“What did she do this time?” Corianne combed my hair with her hand, and I opened my eyes to see her expression. Her question was enough to drain the energy out of my head.

"She made an offer. She ordered me to find her son, dead or alive. She promised to give me a proper introduction to high society to gain support as an empress. As you know, the empire isn't aware of where the former empress is. Different rumors flew around, and one of those was about me killing her. What's obvious is the only one who can correct public opinion when they hear everything directly from her. It leaves me no other choice but to do so.”

“If you want support and respect, you should give people reason why they should. But looking back, you’re at fault when your first banquet was ruined. You were carried away by your emotions and caused chaos. That doesn’t make you much different from my son.”

I gathered myself and seated on the same couch. Her words were blunt, yet I did not sense any anger emanating from them.

They were neither confrontational nor critical, but rather a well-articulated observation of my error.

“I thought you didn’t want to discuss anything about your rebellious son.” Corianne’s eyes were full of grief, yet she tried hard to smile as if it was only a bitter memory that was still painful to talk about. The queen she once was is now a part of the past, yet it will always remain as a scar in her heart.

“Evrart Kan Demitri Edevane – He’s not just my son, but also your cousin and the current king of Eurhyia. I no longer feel bad when he treated me like an animal that needs to be disciplined the hard way because it was my fault that I raised a monster like him. I always told him to become as perfect as he could be for him to inherit the throne. I wanted people to look up to him, and I believed that would be my source of joy.”

In high society, perfection entails proficiency in weaponry, wealth, assertiveness, decisiveness, strategic thinking, expertise in various areas such as etiquette and leadership, and impeccable conduct.

Achieving perfection is not easily attained, but in the eyes of society, it also implies refraining from displaying vulnerability. Every error and sign of weakness is subject to scrutiny and could potentially be exploited against the individual.

To think that Evrart managed to pull off all of those he sure didn’t have the chance to enjoy his childhood. He became Corianne’s marionette for years. I understand why she forced him through all these things – Thyra is the firstborn and is expected to inherit the throne because being a mistress' child doesn’t matter to them.

“I told him to be wary of Thyra and get rid of her because the king favors her more than Evrart. But you know the rest of the story. He lost his sanity upon Thyra’s disappearance and blamed everything on me."

“We’re both abhorred by people we’re expecting to see our value,” I concluded, after hearing her thoughts about her life's biggest scar. She was stripped of her title and punishments were made by his son. “I hoped that Heloise would see me as her daughter at least, but I’m not different from a tool in her eyes. For her, Azriel and the empire are all that matters.”

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“I understand your struggles well, but have you ever asked why she hates you too much? I don’t think having overflowing powers is reasonable enough for her to send you to exile. You said she never once acknowledged you as her daughter.”

My body stiffened momentarily, and her words made me feel foolish after all these years. It took me 30 years to grasp something I should have recognized long ago.

“I – I never asked. There has to be a deeper reason, isn’t it? Once I gather the courage to ask, I will. But her face is the last thing I want to see now.” Corianne held my cheek and wiped the tears from my eyes – tears that I didn’t notice nor felt. I turned my back from her and wiped my tears, embarrassed that my vulnerable side was coming out on the surface. How can someone care for me more than my mother did?

“It took you this long to figure it out?” The sound of heels clacking along the floor became louder at each second, and before I knew it, the devil had come – Heloise.

My vision began to blur; the effects of the alcohol intensified with each passing second.

"Sorry, you had to find out this way, daughter." Father’s voice was low, filled with remorse. I shifted my gaze to Corianne who continued to caress my hair, letting me rest on her lap.

“What’s happening?” The apparitions of Father and Heloise drew nearer, causing Corianne to flinch in response. My head felt lighter, and all I yearned for was to shut my eyes and finally get some genuine rest.

“Eviona Charlioni Ruivenfiere, you’re not my daughter,” I expected Heloise’s words to hurt or make me struggle in the slightest, but I felt nothing as if it was nothing surprising. “It’s an interesting sight that Corianne’s playing mother to you now. How touching it is to see a reunion.”

“What are the two of you talking about? Stop beating around the bush. Eviona needs to sleep soon because she’s quite drunk, thanks to you tormenting her.” Corianne responded, not caring about the status of who she was talking to.

Even if Heloise and Corianne are siblings, Corianne wouldn’t sense any connection between the two of them after having her memories removed.

“I’ll pretend I didn’t hear you saying something rude. If you didn’t understand what I was saying, let me spell it out to you then,” Heloise made a wry smile as she continued. “Eviona – who grew up believing that I’m her mother is your daughter.”

Time seemed to halt the instant she uttered those words. I felt perplexed, yet I lacked the energy to utter a response.

Maybe … this is just a dream.

──•~❉᯽❉~•──

The gentle rays of sunlight made their way through the windows of my room.

I massaged my aching temples caused by the crapulence but it wasn’t enough to ease the pain coming from it.

Come to think of it, how did I get here? I don’t remember anything clear from last night.

“It seems like you didn’t sleep well at all,” Corianne criticized, her facial expression grim. “You don’t remember anything, do you?”

I stopped to think about her words, hinting that I had missed something important. Why the long face? It seemed like she had been watching me sleep for a while.

“What I know is, I was drinking here, and I lied on your lap. That’s all.”

“So, you don’t remember Heloise admitting that she’s not your mother, but I am?”

Her words felt like a bucket of cold water poured on my head, making all my senses active. “What?”

"She mocked you for being dense because it took you ages to think why she hates you so much. Heloise and Elliot confirmed that you’re my daughter. Thus, Elliot’s first child was before marrying Heloise. I don’t remember anything, and no one in society knows about it. When Heloise got rid of me and turned me human, they agreed to keep you, saying that on the surface, you'll be considered Heloise's daughter. It adds up with her obsession about Azriel inheriting the throne because he’s her only child.”

I was... born out of wedlock? I was aware that Corianne was initially betrothed to my father, but I never imagined they would be intimate before marriage.

It doesn't seem like something my father would do. Were they that infatuated with each other? Why did he keep silent about this all these years?

My life has been a lie all this time. For many years I thought my mother hated me, and now, this?

“I no longer know what’s real and what’s not. I don’t see why she had to let me live a lie this whole time. Not even father said the truth.” I closed my eyes as I put my forearm to cover my eyes brimming with tears. Am I supposed to cry in this situation? It makes me feel pathetic.

“Your father wanted to tell you, but Heloise hired a magician from another kingdom and cast a spell that would hinder him from saying that you’re a daughter out of wedlock and that I’m your mother. It's probably one of the reasons why sadness never left his eyes.”

Questions started to come one after another. Hervouet was born aware that his mother was a mistress. But how can I not know the truth about my identity?

“I don’t know what to feel, but at least I get along with my real mother than her. I should’ve known it sooner.”

Identifying Corianne as my mother felt odd. Actually, it doesn't just feel odd; it seems incorrect and too perfect. I don't believe it will be simple to embrace the notion that she's my mother. Maybe it will require time for me to come to terms with it.

After knowing that my life has been a lie all this time, it’s no longer clear to identify what’s true and what’s false. Things are all piled with one lie after another.

“I can’t remember anything, but I don’t hate the idea. True or not, I’ll be by your side, Eviona. You’re still the one who saved me from dying on my son’s hands. But frankly, I want to gather courage and mend things between us. I want some closure.” Corianne said those words with eyes that lacked hope.

Going back to Eurhyia to face Evrart is risky, but things wouldn't be as bad if I came with her and introduced myself, isn’t it?

“Then I’ll come with you. Let’s go to Eurhyia and face Evrart … together.”