"Thyra, you have a choice. Either you kill him now to save your life, or you let him kill you later." The former empress's words echoed in my mind, and none of it felt real. It was as if it were something impossible, something I simply couldn't imagine.

"But why would Azriel hate me so much that he wants to kill me?" I craved the answer, yet a part of me desperately wanted to bury the thought.

"As you have heard, the imperial family is hiding many secrets. I had my reasons for removing the books and scripts about the Rhinecrest from the public eye during my reign as empress. Sometimes, ignorance is bliss. The current imperial family knows a few things about the Rhinecrest, but I'm the only one who knows the whole story to this day. Eviona, Azriel, and Hervouet... they all have limited knowledge about it. The reason I let people become ignorant about it is because of this very reason." She paused, letting out a sigh.

"My grandfather is the only person I witnessed creating a Rhinecrest. He gave up his life to bring back my grandmother's life. Just like what you're doing now, my grandmother looked for someone who could be used as a sacrifice to awaken him. The sacrifice died, and my grandfather woke up. He went mad, becoming the opposite of who he was. He caused chaos in the family, making me accustomed to a violent environment. In the end, he took my grandmother's life with his own hands and destroyed himself in the process."

Destroyed himself in the process?

"But isn't there anything that could have changed things? What if it's a case-by-case basis?"

"That's my only basis, so I can't tell much, but I've seen enough." She commented, showing no interest in elaborating further. We're talking about Azriel, her beloved only son.

How could she be so nonchalant?

“How can you speak of your son’s death easily?

"Dear," she called out. "I'm a logical person, and I don't let myself get carried away by my emotions. At this point, killing Azriel would be a kind of euthanasia. Think about it. Do you think I'd be fine seeing my son causing violence around us, and more importantly, killing you? That choice would only ruin what he sacrificed his life for. If anything, you should just live for his sake."

I think I understand now. I'm certain the former empress isn't happy that her son can no longer live the way he used to. At this point, Azriel is no different from a dead man. Part of me still believes that maybe things won't be the same as his great-grandfather's case. But even if I can find someone stronger than him - would I not feel an ounce of guilt if I sacrifice a life in exchange for another?

"I can tell what you're thinking just by looking at you. You still have hopes that he won't be like my grandfather, don't you? We can try to see that, but the consequences are too great for us to risk. Just to be fair, ask yourself this – how sure are you that you love Azriel?" she asked.

“Pardon?”

"Wasn't there a time when you had doubts about what you felt about him? Don't you find it strange that you fell from him easily, considering that you wanted to kill him knowing that he's the one who killed your father?"

Her question froze me, an unsettling feeling rising within me.

I couldn’t deny it.

There were indeed times when I questioned myself about why I fell for him so easily – it's not like me to do so. We spent time together. He's been kind to me, he saved me, and I felt his sincerity. But is his kindness a valid reason to conclude that I love him?

“I think … it is indeed questionable. But,”

"I'm certain that my son sacrificed a bit to save himself from you, who was desperate to kill him at first. Look at the hand chain he gave you that bound you to him. As much as I hate to hurt your feelings, it's not only about sharing his powers with you, but it also manipulates the owner to remain loyal to the person who gave it. He was terrified after seeing your power on the battlefield. He anticipated that you would kill him. Don't you think it's only natural to tame someone who hates you without them knowing, for him to be spared by you?"

I couldn't say anything. Her words all made sense to me, and I would be a fool to deny the possibility.

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Azriel, what were you thinking? Is your mother right? That all this time, you tried to win me over to save yourself? Are you truly that selfish? But if that's true, how come you still took the risk to save my life?

I don't know what to believe anymore. I've been caught in a web of his lies and manipulation. Regardless, I still want to hear his explanation. I want him to confess the truth and apologize if he truly deceived me all this time.

But for that to be possible, I'll need to find a sacrifice, and there's no guarantee that Azriel would do what I want if he ended up like his great-grandfather.

"Thyra," she called once again. "I believe all of this is too much for you to handle in one day. Whether my son truly loved you or not, what matters now is you. I know that Hervouet asked for your hand in marriage in exchange for entering the imperial palace. Are you willing to go through all that trouble to save Azriel? Let's say you and Hervouet get married and you used Eviona as a sacrifice to awaken my son. If your love for Azriel is true, you would be disgusted by being legally bound to Hervouet and would want to escape his grasp and be with Azriel. And then what? Are you still imagining the possibility that things will work out for you and him? If Azriel won't end up like my grandfather, how do you think he'll react if he sees you married to someone else?"

As much as I hate to admit it, she's not wrong. This time, things are crystal clear. The idea of us being together is an impossible dream. If Azriel were sane enough to tell me the entire truth behind his motives when he woke up, it wouldn't change the fact that it was all part of his plan.

"If..." I bit my lip, struggling to articulate my words. "If I were to kill him with a sword, I'd be completely free from his grasp, because the power of the hand chain would be no more, right?"

The former empress nodded, confirming the conclusions I had reached.

"But Your Majesty, am I supposed to be the one who does it?"

"Yes," she replied, "because it will also be your declaration of freedom from the person who deceived you."

Didn't she say that we're inseparable? To what extent?

"Then... let me ask one more question before I give all this some thought, Your Majesty," I said.

The former empress remained silent, but continued to listen.

“Did your grandparents die on the same day?" I asked, but she gave me a cold, unfriendly look, displeased with the question. Is that question something confidential, or perhaps—

"I can already read what you're thinking," she said. "You're asking this because you're thinking that you might die when Azriel does, right? I don't have the answers. When my grandfather's madness began, Corianne and I were sent to my father's estate in Alryne instead of staying in Marrossi. As someone considered the cursed daughter among the twins, my father never let me have a public appearance. So, I never attended anyone's funeral."

Hearing Corianne's name reminded me of what Hervouet mentioned – about Corianne and Eviona going to Eurhyia to meet Evrart. But I found myself feeling overwhelmed, having finally received all the information I desperately craved for months, ever since I was in the Rhinecrest.

I no longer care about what they're up to. My head is burdened with fears and doubts, and unlike before, I find it hard to make the best decision as more questions linger in my mind.

I want to hear the truth from Azriel. But is it worth saving him? I will sacrifice a life to awaken him, which isn't different from taking a life, and there are no guarantees things will be fine if he wakes up.

He won't accept seeing me married to his brother, assuming that his love is sincere enough to make him jealous.

Whether his love is true or not, it doesn't change the fact that he manipulated me all this time and made me "love" him. Our relationship, whatever it should be called, is nothing but a web of his lies.

The fact that he killed my father is something I've already accepted, and I forgave him for it.

I don't feel an ounce of resentment towards him, but I feel defeated for being lied to and used.

A person in their right mind wouldn't bother to give someone like him a second chance to live. At this moment, I know that Azriel is suffering mentally, for I witnessed him suffer while I was in the Rhinecrest.

Should I let him suffer longer, or follow the former empress' suggestion of killing him? I hate the fact that, whatever decision I make, one life will have to be taken away. Someone needs to die to awaken Azriel.

If I let him remain as he is, his internal suffering will torture him longer.

If I kill him, though the former empress glossed it as euthanasia, what will be left of me? I'll carry the guilt for the rest of my life.

"Thyra," the former empress held my cheeks and wiped away the tears I hadn't noticed. "The empire's future is in your hands. If you still desire to take the risk and awaken Azriel, you will need to choose between Eviona and Hervouet – one of them has to die, and the other will end up leading the empire. I'll support whatever decision you make, as long as you can promise me one thing."

"What is it?" I asked, my voice barely a whisper.

"Take care of yourself," she said, her voice firm. "Because if you were to be captured by the aquamarines again, the entire Izavene race would be wiped out and forgotten. I've always seen you as a smart girl since we first talked. You may be unstable right now, but it's all because of the shock. Whatever your choice may be, I'll trust your judgment."

Come to think of it, I completely forgot about why all of this is happening. If it weren't for them, Azriel wouldn't be in that state. At some point, they're to blame.

My head felt heavy as I learned of the things I should face the moment I stepped out of this room.

The empire's fate hangs precariously in my grasp, a fragile balance between salvation and ruin. This immense responsibility, a weight crushing my very soul, threatens to consume me, leaving only a hollow shell in its wake.