The clock struck midnight and I squeezed my eyes shut as I lie down restlessly on the bed of the hotel Hervouet checked me in. I curled up on the other side of the bed, trying to muffle any sounds by covering my mouth. Tears of guilt soaked my pillow, and I couldn't predict when my eyes would stop flowing like a broken faucet.
Stop. Enough. Those two words kept on going out of my mouth for a while now, but I don’t know for how long.
The memory is vivid in my mind – how I reasoned to Hervouet after running out of the auction hall even if my stomach was hurting badly out of fear, humiliation, and shock.
“As the war leader, I have the right to know a few things. I want to know who wiped out my army. Are there many Izavenes in Eurhyia?” he asked, and his first question already says how this conversation will end up.
“I’m the only Izavene in Eurhyia since my parents died,” I admitted, my voice confident.
"You're now confessing that you're the one who wiped out my army." Hervouet laughed hard as if I said the most ridiculous joke he ever heard.
“So? Isn’t it obvious? What will you do now? Kill me?” Even if I'm cornered, I felt no fear of telling the truth. It's not like I didn't expect this day to happen, and I'm prepared for this even before he knows it.
“I did have an idea that it was you but I wasn't expecting that you'll be this confident to admit it. Most people would kneel and beg for their lives. Still, I'll keep your secret safe. You have to help me in exchange for your life. Otherwise, I can have you executed."
“What do you want?”
"I want to become the emperor," he said, which means he needs to have Azriel out of his way. "But as I said, I need allies to help me accomplish my goals. I'm making a deal with you because you'll be useful to me."
“So, I was right. You were planning to win me over from the very beginning. That’s a pathetic move, Prince Hervouet. You’re too easy to read. You people are the same.” And I can outsmart you, I wanted to add.
“Whatever. I’m not asking for your opinion, and your life is still in my hands. What do you say? It’s for you to decide if we’ll be friends or enemies right this moment.”
“I only have one thing to ask and if you’ll answer me truthfully, I’m going to help you. The Eurhyian king is admired by many, and everyone was in pain when he died, including me, one of his knights. Tell me the truth. Who killed him? Who was the one with a flaming sword?”
“It was my brother, Azriel. He was just a secondary leader that time,” my hand froze and my stomach turned the second time, and I balled my hands like a fist.
At that moment, I could sense the energy building up in my hand, tempting me to release it all on Hervouet's smirking face. However, I made a conscious effort to calm myself down, knowing that acting impulsively could lead to trouble.
"I understand," I replied, feeling a sense of disappointment. "It seems we share a common goal – to get rid of Azriel. Allow me the privilege, and I will take care of him." Although the words were difficult to utter, my confident tone successfully convinced him that I was aligning myself with his cause.
A big part of me was relieved the moment I was left alone in the room, but the peaceful silence of the room turned into a sorrowful, sleepless night. Parts of me felt like falling apart with each minute that passes – it’s been two days only, and I already gotten carried away and agreed to be friends with Azriel.
I'm such a fool to fall for it. His kindness … is all a show so that his guilt will be gone, for he believes that doing good works will be enough to atone for his sins.
The motive is good and noble, but a person's life cannot be returned once gone. How can I even forgive? It's impossible. I wanted to kill them both – Hervouet and Azriel, for trying to befriend me to their advantage. They really are brothers and I’m a fool.
But come to think of it … Hervouet didn’t give solid evidence. It’s only from his mouth, and anyone can lie whenever they wish. There’s a little possibility that he’s lying and simply twisted the truth. What if he’s the one who killed my father, not Azriel?
The town has lots of people – and Poudrettite Izavenes are spies who are all over town. Whoever speaks ill towards the empress and related matters will be immediately imprisoned or executed.
Taverns are often ideal locations for gathering information because they attract a diverse crowd of people who come together to socialize and drink. Inebriated individuals are known to be more candid, as their judgment is impaired. The only falsehood they may claim is denying their level of intoxication.
Izavenes can survive without eating, and food is a needless luxury. But drinking is necessary to thirst their quench. That said, there must be a tavern somewhere in Marrossi, or I can ask someone who knows about the war without raising suspicion.
Hervouet isn't aware that Azriel and I are friends. Nobody knows that we've been talking. We talked once in the forest, second, in the secret part of the library. I should see it as an advantage. They say that your enemy's enemy is an ally … if Hervouet's enemy is Azriel, then Azriel can be an ally. In this case … I have full control of the situation, and if I play my cards right, I can be their greatest cause of downfall of either of them.
You are far too trusting, Hervouet Jerr Ruivenfiere. You may see me as a mouse who entered your trap, but I’m the kind of mouse who can step out of the trap you knowing.
‘Your life is in my hands,’ he said.
Don’t make me laugh. Your life is in my hands.
──•~❉᯽❉~•──
The day of my secret meeting with Azriel came. He arrived earlier than me, and I can tell from his eyes that he was expecting to hear something interesting as he watches me step my foot onto the floor from the stairs.
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“You came,” I said, and he waved his hand casually to say hello, and I’m stopping my urges to look angry or suspicious of him. I don’t want him to think that I’m suspecting him. If anything, I should be grateful to have him by my side … for now, at least.
“I was partly worried when I sensed the urgency in your letter. What happened? Is it something related to the marquess?" he asked, totally clueless about everything.
“About Jarvis, he said he’s worried about me and grateful that he finally heard from me. I have a theory that you also sent him a message, didn’t you? He didn’t say anything about that but … just a feeling.” I sat down across him like the last time we met – before the table that turned into ashes the moment he held it.
“I’m not going to lie about that. Yes, I also sent a letter. But I believe it’s not your main reason why we’re here.” His face became stern after noticing that I’m not giving hints of being friendly.
“You asked me this but I’ll ask it to you now,” I looked at him straight in the eyes. “Do you trust me?”
He narrowed his eyes, contemplating the potential outcome of the mystery I had initiated. "You're my friend, so yes, I trust you," he replied, breaking the intense gaze and shifting his attention to my cold, trembling hands resting on my lap.
"I have something important to tell you," I started, my voice filled with urgency. "Your brother... he threatened me. He believes that I am responsible for the near annihilation of your entire army during the war. He wants me to comply with his demands, promising to spare my life in return." As I finished speaking, I raised my head, anxiously awaiting his reaction.
Nothing, but he wasn’t surprised either.
“I'm telling you that I killed your people. Aren't you angry?"
“That war … the only thing I felt that day was guilt. I felt guilty seeing my people die, and I couldn’t sleep for days whenever I remember what happened. I’m not angry at you because death is the nature of war. There’s always someone who’ll win and one who’ll lose. You only did that to protect your people. But I felt guilty because like you said, good works won’t be enough to return the lives of the ones I killed.”
“Why would you feel guilty? Am I not supposed to be the one who should be carrying that burden? But then again, I don’t regret anything, but I wasn’t happy with it either. It’s not like seeing people die is an enjoyable sight.” He wouldn't feel guilty if he didn't kill my father. I think I'll be lying to myself if I'll keep believing that he's not the one who did it.
“Let’s go back to what you’re saying. I told you that I’m not angry at you but was guilty and sad because of that event. What else should I know?” his answer is the best way to divert the topic from leading it to him.
"I've come to the realization that your brother, whom you consider a part of your family, is actually setting the stage for a conflict and intends to manipulate me as a means to achieve his ambitions," I revealed, hoping that my words were sinking in. "He expressed his desire to become the emperor, a position that rightfully belongs to you. However, he won't be able to achieve his goals if you remain in power. This suggests that he is plotting something behind your back and is simply waiting for the opportune moment to strike. He wants me to be involved in his scheme. Can you guess what my response was?"
“You refused?”
“I said that he should give me the honors and leave you to me," I grinned, and his eyes widened as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing.
“So, you’re planning to …”
“No,” I retorted, breaking his flow of thoughts.
“I only said that so that he’ll think that I’m on his side. That’s why I don’t want others to know that we’re meeting. A few days ago, he invited me to his auction house in Greizenne. He said that all the funds will go to his allies to create weapons and he complained that Eviona’s being demanding. I assume that he told me that because he’s not aware that I knew anything about Eviona, but I remember you telling me that she was your rival, the banished princess of the empire. They want you to fall, Azriel, and I don’t want that to happen. That’s why I need you to know about this. I'll pretend to be his ally for the time being so that I can gather information to tell you more about his plans," I offered, and the shock stopped him from saying anything.
"He wanted you to be his ally because he saw that you're going to be an asset to his team. Since Eviona is involved, this can mean that he's gathering more people to start an uprising. I don’t know when or how but at least we have an idea. This is an important matter indeed, and the empress needs to know about this. Since you have a lead, I can have people investigate Hervouet without his knowledge.”
He rested his fingers on his chin, and a sudden silence filled the room as if time has stopped. Both of us are thinking of the possibilities, but he began to break the silence, changing the topic.
“What about you and the marquess? Did he say anything about Eurhyia’s status?”
I blinked as I heard him asking that as if he wasn't burdened with the idea that his brother is planning to kill him. I’m not sure if he’s trying to be cool or he’s being dumb.
“Jarvis said that my brother’s mental condition isn’t good. Though he can decide rationally and lead the kingdom just fine, he mentioned that Evrart needs help – that he needs me, and he's right about that. My father and I are the ones that Evrart cherishes and trusts the most. He lost both of us, so it's not surprising that he became a wreck, although I didn't know it'll be that bad. The information was from his sister since his sister is now the queen.”
“What if … your kingdom and my empire will help each other?” he suggested, and it’s something that I wasn’t expecting to hear from him. “I’m not planning to absorb Eurhyia as a part of my empire. But Hervouet may be negotiating with the dukedoms of other regions if he's planning to overthrow me. In that case, I should gather those who are willing to help me too. Your nation can help me fight once they attack.”
He's not wrong about that. I wasn’t dethroned, and Evrart will listen to whatever I’ll say. But … isn’t he the only one who’ll benefit here? How can I make Azriel useful to me? I can’t say that I need a huge favor from him, but right now he’s the one who needs help.
“You’re right. We can help each other,” I responded, still thinking of what favor I’ll ask him. For the first time, I realized that I don’t want anything at all – except to kill the one who took my father’s life – all I wanted is to revenge.
I can’t make an entire empire fall by myself, and I think it’s unnecessary to see more people dying just because I have a selfish desire to make them all pay for their sins.
I do hate Queen Corianne – I really do. But not enough for me to have the desire to kill her with my hands. I hated the nobles who looked down on me but being here in Marrossi feel enough for me to not see them again at least.
"Then, Thyra, what is it that you desire? You are offering your assistance, but what do you seek in return?" he asked, posing a question that I had anticipated, yet had not prepared a definitive answer for.
“I don’t think what I want is something you can give. But I want my people to accept me. Eurhyia hates me. The citizens want me to die because they see me as a monster, that I’m dangerous. Being here in Marrossi scares me, but I feel safe at the same time. I think it's a pointless wish to demand Eurhyians accept me. I can't please everybody, but I …"
I bit my tongue. I couldn’t speak my mind, for I have nothing to say. But this situation demands an answer so …
“I don’t wish to return to Eurhyia, because I have no doubts that I’ll get stoned to death when they see me. However, if you could assist me in purchasing a property where I can live in solitude, I believe that would be sufficient. I don’t want a lot of things in my life,” I added, closing my eyes and resting my hand on my face, a tinge of disappointment evident in my voice as I realized I couldn't ask for anything more favorable.
I couldn't believe that I had overlooked the option of asking Azriel for a favor while planning to manipulate the situation against Hervouet. If only I had taken more time to think, I might have come up with a better solution. It was a missed opportunity that left me feeling regretful.
“What if … instead of buying a property,” I flinched as I felt his hand gently grasp mine, catching me completely off guard. To my surprise, he brought my hand to his lips and planted a soft kiss on the top, leaving me momentarily stunned.
As palpable tension filled the air, I started having trouble breathing. His deep blue eyes that looked like a frozen ocean added intensity to his gaze.
I wanted nothing more than to shrink back, but I mustered the courage to hold my ground and hear what he has to say.
"… marry me, and be my empress.”