My aunt, Enrique, Leya and I returned home so late last night we all went to bed and went straight to sleep. Leya slept in bed with me and was beyond cranky for school this morning. I let her teachers know before I left for work to keep me updated if they have any problems with her behavior today but so far she’s been good. I told Jade when we landed and she set a date for us to go to dinner tonight. Needless to say I’ve been anxious about it all day.
She didn’t say where or how to dress, only that we’ll have an opportunity to talk. I have no idea what to expect but I’m nervous and excited. I’m worried about how she’ll see me after I tell her the full story, but I have missed her so much I just want to see her again.
I want to hear her voice, feel her touch, kiss her, I just want to be with her again. I’d gotten so used to having her in my life every day I started taking her presence for granted. I’ll never do that again. I’m eager to make up with Jade and explain myself. In all honesty, her home was starting to feel like ours and I’m ready to go home.
I push aside my personal issues and make sure the conference room is set up and ready for Alexia’s next meeting while Amara handles the miscommunication with the lunch order down at the cafe. When the room is ready I head back to my desk and contemplate texting Jade before tonight.
I type and delete five different messages before I give up with a sigh, looking at our chat and go back to contemplating. She’s probably busy, I shouldn’t distract her during work, but it is lunch time. I wonder if she’s eaten yet, she has a bad habit of working nonstop without eating.
Should I text her and ask? Or maybe I should just have something sent to her office? But if she has eaten it will just go to waste. I could just ask her and stop overthinking, she is my wife after all. I chew on my lip as I text Imani, asking if Jade hasn’t eaten today. I tap my foot, impatiently, waiting for her to respond although I text her a second ago. I should just send food anyway, at least Jade will know that I’m thinking about her and serious about making up.
“Hey, Angel? Is the conference room ready?” Amara asks speed walking over with food bags in her hands. I put my phone away and help her carry the food, making a mental note to send food to Jade when I get the chance.
“Yep, everything is ready, we just need to set up the food. I printed out all the documents and put them in Ms. Martin’s office. So, who’s this meeting for anyway, the name wasn’t written on her schedule?” Amara looks around despite it being just us in the room, before waving me over discreetly. I go over and she huddles up, speaking low.
“Do you know of the famous photographer, designer, and model Billy Shaw?” I shake my head, completely clueless.
“Nope, never heard of him”. I never made it a point to keep up with the lives of famous people if I’m not a fan of them, even still I have my own life to worry about, rather than someone I’ll never meet.
“Well she is notorious for always being involved in a drama or scandal with her wife. They’ve been married less than a year and she’s already coming to Alexia for a divorce". Amara explains as we go back to setting up the service table.
“I didn't know Alexia took divorce cases”.
“Rarely and only for special individuals”.
“What’s so special about this Billy Shaw woman? She sounds like a lot of trouble”. Amara smirks and shrugs.
“Ms. Martin didn’t tell me, however, I have a feeling it’s probably because Billy and Nikita are cousins.
“Ah, understood” I nod in understanding, smirking to myself as well. Lately Alexia has been seeing Nikita every day, sometimes even calling out to spend time with her. It makes sense that she’d take this case just to impress and make Nikita happy.
“Damn it, they forgot the drinks still. Angel, could you go make some coffee and grab water from the break room?” I nod as Amara finishes setting up, grumbling about the cafe that always seems to give her a hard time. I told her it’s just because the manager has a crush on her but she doesn’t believe me, but whenever I deal with the cafe, everything runs smoothly.
“Yeah, no problem” I leave the conference to get the drinks, using the brief break to check my phone. Imani responded with a message from Jade, declining any food, simply saying that Nate will pick me up for dinner tonight at 7 o’clock. I don’t bother responding, tucking my phone into my pocket with a sigh. How long is she planning on staying angry with me?
I start putting together the whipped coffee as my mind drifts to the impending dinner tonight. Jade didn’t say where we were going but I assume she’s made arrangements so it’s private and exclusive. I doubt she wants anyone overhearing our conversation, especially about A.J. I figure it’s better not to go in with some planned or rehearsed speech.
I’m just going to be honest, tell her the painful truth and hope she understands why I don’t speak about A.J. It’s not like I’m ashamed of him or anything, I’m more ashamed that I didn’t stand up for him when I gave birth. I let him be taken and was too weak to be a great mother to him.
I’ve grown over the years and of course I have the chance to do better with Leya, but it will never make up for how much I failed A.J. I lost myself for years after his father died, and if it wasn’t for getting pregnant with Leya and my aunt holding me together, I would’ve given up all those years ago. I’m grateful and recognize my progress as a person and mother now, but that doesn’t make it any easier to talk about. However, I decided to marry Jade because I know that deep down I love her and never want to let her go.
I have to make this right…but how?
“Mm, beautiful women and coffee, I suppose my little cousin was right about this law firm”. I slightly jump at the random voice interrupting my thoughts and turn around to see a woman tattooed from neck to toe.
I hadn’t heard anyone come in, she doesn’t work here obviously, and this room is only for employees. I clear my throat as the woman smiles, stepping closer until she’s next to me, peering at the coffee I’m making over my shoulder. I move slightly out of the way so she’s not directly behind me, putting two feet of space between us, which only makes her smirk widen. I put on my professional smile and address the stranger.
“Hello, is there something I can help you with? This is the break room which is not accessible to clients but I’d be happy to give you directions someplace else. Are you meeting with a lawyer?”
“I’m here to meet Alexia Martin. She said to come directly to the conference room when I arrived, but I love coffee so I followed the smell here. And lucky me the perfect drink has led me to a beautiful woman, coffee never steers you wrong”. She reaches out and I squint my eyes before shaking her outstretched hand. So, this is Billy Shaw, I can definitely see the resemblance in her and Nikita’s personality.
“Right, the conference room is around the corner, down the hall, and it’s the third door on the left. The door should be open, Ms. Martin will be here soon, she is just finishing up another meeting”. At least, that’s what we call her and Nikita’s sex sessions in her office now. Billy gives me an unbothered, knowing smirk as she steps back, looking around the room. I go back to making the coffee while she walks around the room.
“Would you mind escorting me Mrs…?”
“Angel Knight”. ‘I don’t think I’ll ever get used to going by Jade’s last night.
“Ah, so you're Angel? Nikki had told me about you, warned me not to try anything. Your name is as fitting as they say, so would you mind escorting me Mrs. Angel Knight, I’m not very good with directions, as you can see”. They?
“I assure you that you can’t miss it, however if you’re that worried, you can go back the way you came and Chelsea at the front desk would be more than happy to escort you”. She’s the rudest thirstiest bitch in the office, always trying to find a way to hop in the pockets of the rich clients. Billy might like that.
Billy laughs and takes off her glasses, tucking them into the front of her loose white shirt. Her pants hug her legs like leggings and her chunky black boots give her an edgy look despite her tan expensive trench coat and headband.
“Well, I can take a hint, thank you for your help, Angel”. Billy gives me a final smile before heading towards the door. I sigh and finish getting the drinks when the sound of her footsteps stop at the door.
“Tell your wife I send my greetings. Hm, I never expected her to find such a loyal beauty” I look back at Billy who throws me a wink before leaving the room. I frown, trying not to get an attitude, but seriously, is there any woman that Jade doesn’t know? I know they’re cousins but I’ve seen that smirk on women’s faces before when they’ve holed up with Jade. I’m usually good about being jealous now, but with our current argument I’m a bit touchy when it involves Jade.
The rest of the work day drags on uneventfully and I manage to get ahead of my work for the next few days. I’m in the process of cleaning up my desk so I can leave and get ready for dinner when Alexia, Billy, and Nikita leave the conference room and head towards Alexia’s office.
“Let me just get my things and we can go, oh, Angel? What are you still doing here? Shouldn’t you be getting ready for your date?”
“I was just leaving thank you, Alexia”.
“Thanks for all your help today with Amara. I know it’s been crazy lately but you two are doing great handling it all”. I smile proud that I’m doing something right at work at least.
“Of course, that’s what we’re here for”. I gather all my things and Alexia gives me a final smile before going into her office. Billy comes over to my desk, a mischievous smile on her face and I shake my head. She made it a point to flirt or compliment me any time I came into the conference room, even after being scolded by Alexia and Nikki, she kept the same energy.
“Thank you for the coffee, Angel. I haven’t had such a delicious cup of coffee since I’ve returned home. You have my gratitude” Billy smiles leaning on my desk and I just shake my head, we both know that Jade never shares so why is she trying.
“You’re welcome, Ms. Shaw, now if you'll excuse me”. I give her and Nikita a final goodbye and head to the elevator. Billy seems like a nice woman, albeit a trouble maker, but she’s friendly otherwise. However, I’m already on Jade’s bad side, I don’t want her thinking I’m out here entertaining other people because we’re in a fight. So with a final, professional smile I go to the elevator and down to my car.
Time to get ready for dinner, what should I wear? I have no idea what to expect, but I want Jade to drool over me. I want her to see what she’s been missing, or at least should be missing. I want her to fight the urge to keep her hands off of me because that’s exactly how I felt seeing her after our time apart.
Jade is already unbelievably gorgeous but after not seeing her on a daily basis, it’s like her attractiveness has intensified. I had to keep myself distracted at Leya’s party so I wouldn’t fawn and cling to her like a lovestruck fan. I want to see if I still affect her or if this relationship has reached its ceiling. With that thought in mind, I drive with a new urgency and a firm goal in mind. I have a little under two hours to pick an outfit, shave, wash my hair, and do my skin care routine. I nod determined as I think about making up with my wife. I’m getting used to referring to Jade as my wife, I’m not ready to stop yet.
I pull into the driveway and quickly get out of the car, practically running inside so I can get ready. I give a quick greeting to my aunt and a kiss to Leya’s forehead before rushing upstairs, stripping out of my clothes in the process. My aunt agreed to watch Leya tonight “in case Jade and I need some time alone” after our talk, if I play my cards right I’m hoping we will.
I miss Jade so much, I’ve never desired someone so strongly before in my life. I get in the shower and begin my routine as I think about what I can wear. Most of my fancy dresses are at Jade’s house but I might have a few outfits I bought for previous dates and interviews.
It takes me an hour to finish in the bathroom and another 30 minutes to do my hair, when I’m done, I frantically look in my closet for an outfit. 5 minutes mid panic and destruction of my closet, my aunt and Leya come into my room and start helping me find an outfit. I have 10 minutes before Nate is set to arrive and I start to really freak out, when I spot a white satin dress I’ve never worn. I don’t even remember buying this. Memories of going to the mall with Jade, she picked this dress out when I was still lacking in confidence. She also got a few more that were more my style that day, but she told me that she couldn’t wait for the day I broke out of my shell and realized how gorgeous I am.
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My face heats as I pull out the dress and slip into the satin material. It’s a little loose but still tight enough to show my figure. And the v-neck design with the high slit exposing my thigh is just low and revealing enough to be both sexy and classy. I doubted I could ever pull off a dress like this, but this is perfect. I finish my make up, keeping it light and ending with a red pop to my lips that match my red strap heels. I leave my hair down in my natural waves and finish gathering my things when a horn honks outside. I give myself a once over in the mirror and nod, satisfied with my outfit.
“Okay, I’m ready”.
“You look pretty mommy”.
“Thank you baby, be good for you aunt okay?” Leya nods and I give her a quick kiss before fixing my lipstick.
“I may be back tonight, if things don’t go well” I tell my aunt who grabs my face, giving me a serious look.
“Just tell her the truth, I’m sure she’ll understand if you explain the entire situation”.
“You think she’ll listen really? Jade is the most stubborn person I’ve ever met”. My aunt smirks and fixes my hair.
“This outfit will make her want to listen to every word you have to say. Just be confident and honest, mija”. I nod and take a deep breath, confidence, right. I can do this.
I get my things and give my aunt and daughter a final goodbye before leaving the house, locking the door behind me. Nate gets out of the car and opens the door with a wide smile.
“It’s a pleasure to see you again Mrs. Knight, you look stunning tonight”. I smile at the older man, his friendly smile is a sight for sore eyes.
“Thank you Nate but please, just call me Angel. Mrs. Knight reminds me of Jade’s mother” Nate and I both laugh and get into the luxurious Rolls-Royce. I’m sure it’s just for appearances but the car is really nice. Nate and I catch up for a while and I look out the window realizing we’re going in a familiar direction.
“Are we going to Jade’s house?”
“Yes, ma’am, she wanted to ensure you had adequate privacy for your dinner tonight”. I nod, staring out the window as the butterflies start fluttering in my stomach. Come on Angel, now is not the time to be nervous.
“How has she been lately?”
“I’m afraid she’s been quite guarded, she’s been insisting on driving herself so we haven’t seen each other much. Even when she’s given me orders she keeps it short and to the point. I don’t have much else to tell you, I’m sorry”.
“No, it’s fine, I was just wondering”. Nate eyes me from the rearview mirror and offers me a warm smile.
“If I’ll be so bold, I truly believe you have less to worry about than it feels at the moment. Every marriage will have its rough patch, there are times that you may not get along but when you love each other like I know you two do, then you’ll be able to make it over those hurdles”.
“But…what if our love isn’t strong enough?” Nate lets out a warm laugh that has me smiling.
“It is, trust me on this. I’ve known Jade since she was young, driven her to and from a lot of situations and places, admittedly along with some of her…previous acquaintances. I’ve never seen her so enthralled, invested, or committed to someone. I can tell she’s in love with you, even if the poor girl has no idea of what real love is, anyone with eyes can see how much she adores you, Angel”. I smile at Nate’s sweet words, they give me the final push I need to cast aside my nerves and muster all of my confidence.
After a long drive, Nate pulls up the driveway of the extravagant house I was starting to call home. I sigh as I see the dimly lit house, providing just enough light to be considered romantic and Nate comes to open my door. I thank him and walk into the house, trying to keep my breathing steady and my nerves away.
Confidence. I repeat the word in my head like a mantra until I reach the door. I’m not sure If I should just go in, or knock, or ring the doorbell, so I opt for the confident approach and test the handle. The door is unlocked so I take a bold step and go inside. The majority of the lights are off around the house, the only lights on lead a soft golden trail to the dining room that’s illuminated by the sound of soft music. I follow the light and music to find the table alight with candles and the most beautiful women in the world pouring wine into glasses. I stare completely entranced by the sight in front of me. Who wouldn’t be? Holy shit, my wife is so fucking gorgeous.
Her dark champagne dress is so revealing I ball my fist at my sides to stop from attacking her. Her hair is pulled up and full of curls allowing the deep plunging back stops just under the top of her ass, to reveal her entire back and the top of her ass crack. The fabric is held together by a small diamond chain and the satin straps going down her back.The front of the dress is just as exposing, the plunging neckline showing the swell of her breast, practically begging me to move the fabric out of the way.
“Are you just going to stand there?” Jade’s sultry voice travels to my ears and I bite my lip and gulp.
“I might” because if I get close to you right now, I may not be able to control myself. I don’t speak my thoughts as I slowly step towards the table. Jade puts down the bottle of wine and looks at me for the first time since I arrived. Her reaction is similar to mine as she stands in place, sucking a breath as she drinks in my appearance, only her eyes move to assess my form. I watch her throat bob up and down and her fist clench at her sides and give myself a mental high-five for my outfit choice. I stop walking as I reach the chair, now both of us are just staring at each other like idiots. At least I’m not the only one entranced.
“Should we sit?” I break the silence and Jade clears her throat with a nod.
“Yes. Sit, please” I smile at her husky commanding tone and attempt to be polite despite the burning look of lust in her eyes. I'm glad I can break a bit of her composure and affect her like she affects me. I can see in her eyes how much she wants me, I’m glad that hasn’t changed. It gives me hope that we can make this work after all. Jade and I sit at the table, where dinner is sitting, steaming, and waiting.
Jade and I begin eating in a semi-awkward silence but after 10 minutes I put down my utensils with a sigh. I know we’re really here to discuss everything and nothing can be resolved if I don’t open up at this moment. I drink some of my wine for a bit of liquid courage before putting the glass down, looking at a tense Jade.
“I know we’re here to talk about A.J, so I guess I should just get into it. First I’ll say I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you. I hadn’t intended to be so secretive, there are just a lot of memories I’m not fond of remembering. I don’t want you to look at me differently either. I was a completely different person from the one you met. I failed when it comes to A.J and I’m worried that you’d see me in a bad light”. Jade eyes me for a minute, her intimidating eyes look just as sharp and guarded as the day we first met but I don’t let it get to me. I know it’s just her defensive mechanism and she’s trying to protect her feelings.
“I can’t promise anything, but I can say that I know who you are now. Your past helps shape and mold you but it is not the totality of who you are”. Jade clears her throat before the most adorable shy and endearing gaze crosses her face.
“The Angel I know was worth marrying, so be honest with me, and trust that I can handle all of you. I never wanted nor expected you to be perfect”. I smile and nod as I think of where to start.
“My parents and I have never been close. They always wanted me to be someone that I’m not and I always fought against them. I dated early, slept around even earlier, drank, smoked, anything I could to push the boundaries. Of course, it wasn’t without consequence and my parents have never been shy about beating some sense into me. Getting slapped or pushed around, or belittled for any failure was natural to me, it killed my confidence and I became more shy and closed off, which is what my parents preferred. Until I met this boy my freshman year, his name was Andres”. I pause feeling my eyes well with tears as I think about Andres before pushing the tears aside.
“He pulled me out of my shell and little by little I started getting more confident, but not in a rebellious way. In fact, it was quite the opposite. I wanted to impress Andres who was a star athlete and student, so I tried in school, went out more, that sort of thing. Naturally, my parents didn’t trust me and hated my relationship with Andres, they were sure he was leading me down some dark path of drugs and sex which wasn’t true at all. But no amount of convincing changed their mind. They did everything to keep us apart, so I did even more to see him”. Jade watches me closely, not interrupting, all her previous emotion is hidden from her face and she’s back to being guarded. However, I don’t let it deter me from my story and keep talking.
“I got pregnant when I was 14. Andres was 16, our parents were furious, to say the least, understandably so, but they decided to take extreme measures. They realized I’d never stay away from him, so they forced me to move across the country with my aunt and uncle. Andres did what he could and tried to visit but there was only so much a 16 year old could do”. A lump forms in my throat but I keep talking, recounting some of the lowest times of my life.
“After months of a lot of drama and slighting by my parents, a really rough pregnancy, I was sick a lot but I just tried to hang on. I believed my parents would calm down if they saw that I could take care of my baby. I was young and delusional and couldn’t see what they were planning at the time. Months later, I was getting closer to my delivery date and my birthday, so Andres insisted on staying near the area. He said he’d sleep in his car if he had to but he wanted to be there. I tried telling him it was fine but he was insistent, he saved up all his money and began making the journey down there. Somehow my parents found out he was visiting and were furious. Looking back I realize that if Andres was there their plans would’ve fallen through. There was a lot of shouting and arguing and I started having cramps and contractions, my small frame didn’t help either”.
“I cried to Andres and told him how scared I was so he insisted on rushing down there even faster to be with me, no matter what my parents said. This all happened the night before my birthday and the week before I was due. It was storming pretty bad that day as well, so just an all around shitty day that I’ll never forget. I wasn’t able to get in touch with Andres and I had a bad feeling I couldn’t shake”. Jade’s eyes are still on me, I can tell she’s watching me closely, and I take a sip of my wine before continuing.
“The storm was getting worse and I kept calling Andres to try and convince him to just arrive later. It took almost three hours but we finally got in contact. I was connected to his car on the phone, begging him to stop for the night, but he was insistent. He was in the middle of telling me how he planned to care for me and to just be patient and wait, when the sound of screeching tires, blaring horns and a terrifying crash sounded in my ears. I was beyond devastated and I just wanted him to be okay, but the last words he said was "I love you” and I completely broke down and had a panic attack. I was alone in my hospital room with nobody but myself to comfort me. He was pronounced dead by the time the ambulance arrived and it felt like a part of me had died alongside him. The only person to ever encourage me and make me feel worthy, my source of light and escape from the darkness in my family, was gone. I completely blamed myself, part of me always will”.
“Naturally, the shock, and stress sent me into early labor. The stress and heartbreak, plus being so young, my body couldn’t handle it. I started losing blood and A.J and I almost died. I stayed conscious long enough to deliver him and sign the birth certificate. I wanted to make sure he had Andres’ name like we decided. A.J was whisked away to make sure he didn’t have any health complications. I lost a lot of blood and my parents refused to donate any, they felt that I had put myself in that situation so it should play out however it was supposed to. Somehow my aunt heard, the one I live with now, caught a flight and rushed to the hospital to donate blood, luckily she was a match”. I take a deep breath and exhale as the weight slowly begins to lift from my shoulders. I hadn’t realized just how heavy carrying all of that was but I feel a bit of relief telling someone about my past.
“Things didn’t get better even after we moved back home, it was still dark and I was depressed. I had nobody but myself to help me through my grief. My friends were never allowed over and my parents refused to hear anything about Andres or A.J. They hit, yelled, or bad mouthed me or them if I ever brought them up. I quickly got the hint to never speak of them again. I didn’t tell my friends or the rest of my family I just held it all in to myself. I talked to A.J and his parents, my aunt and uncle, Marcos and Lia on my own but I was never able to visit him, unless they came to visit, under my parents allowance, of course”.
I finally look up at Jade only to find her frowning and a look of anger on her face. I straighten and get worried that she’ll assume none of that was worth keeping from her but instead she stands from the table and comes over to my side. She lifts me from the chair, cupping my jaw and hugging me close to her body. I revel in the feeling of being in her arms again, melting into her embrace and sigh, feeling right at home with her.
“They made you get rid of your baby and abused you any time you mentioned his name?”
“Yeah, they did. It was some of the most painful years of my life. I lost Andres and right after I lost custody of A.J. I could barely function. I was so depressed, which worsened my relationship with my parents. I resented them every second of every day, but since I was a kid, nobody was willing to listen to me, I had no voice. So, when I got pregnant again it was the final straw, they slapped me, kicked me out, and disowned me completely. Left me with nothing but the clothes on my back. It was rough again for a while, living with Cash, but after Leya I got my shit together and well you know that story”.
Jade still has a prominent frown on her face and she tugs me closer. I suck in a breath at the feel of her body, the satin material of our dresses does nothing to help my hormones. She feels so good, how did I go without her for so long.
“I’m sorry, I should’ve told you sooner, but I can’t even call myself his mother Jade. By the time I was able to care for him, which is when we met, he didn’t need nor want me as a mother. My aunt and uncle are good people and they raise him very well, they’ve always been his parents. A.J knows that I’m his biological mom but he doesn’t see me as a parent which I understand. He’s moving here though, so I had every intention of telling you, I just didn’t know how. I guess I got in the habit of keeping A.J and Andres to myself”. Jade tugs me close, running her hands through my headband I wrap my arms around her waist, rubbing her exposed back.
“I’m pissed off that you kept something so important from me, especially after our last conversation. But what your parents did was beyond fucked up. They had no right to take you away from your son, nobody did. They had no right making you feel like you were unfit to be a good mother because you’re a great mother Angel. As I told you, your past doesn’t define who you are today, however I can see the strength and confidence that you have, and I admire that”. I offer Jade a small smile as relief floods my system. I’m glad she’s being so understanding about all of this. I truly don’t deserve her but I’m grateful.
“Thank you for being so understanding about all of this, Jade. I really am sorry”.
“I will never make you feel small for the decisions you make, Angel. I will support and give my critique and advice, but you never have to feel small or unheard again, do you understand?”
“Yes Jade”.
“I will never put my hands on you in a way that you do not like. I will never abuse or belittle you for having a voice and being who you are, so don’t be afraid to be honest. Tell me how you feel, there’s no need to ever hide yourself from me. Like I said, you are someone I believed was worth marrying, so trust me”. I nod, letting my smile break free and pull Jade into a hug, unable to stop myself. I really don’t deserve her.
“Thank you, Jade”. She runs one hand through my hair while her other moves down to stroke my thigh, before moving back to cup my ass.
“Now, there’s only one thing left for us to…discuss”.