“Hey, anyone there?” Taylor waves a hand in front of my face, snapping me from my thoughts.

“Hm, yes?”

“What’s wrong, you’re really out of it? Did something happen on your date?” I sigh, rolling my eyes. Can everyone stop referring to it as a date already? Jade Knight doesn’t date and she’s made that clear.

“It wasn’t a date, I’m tired of telling everyone that”.

“Well damn, it’s not often I see you in this tense?” I sigh because taking my problems out on Taylor isn’t fair or helpful for anyone.

“I’m sorry I’m just a little frustrated”.

“That’s because you’re searching for a nigga like me in bitches and it will never work”. Cash’s ignorant ass comes strolling in, shirtless of course, stretching trying to flex in disguise. Been there, done that, the only good that came from him is my daughter. Taylor and I roll our eyes, ignoring him and continuing our conversation.

“Nothing happened, it's just I have a decision to make and I don’t know what to do”.

“Well, talk to big sis, I’m practically a certified relationship guru”.

“Oh yeah, where’s your boyfriend sis?” Logan snickers coming into the kitchen, grabbing a beer from the fridge. The high boys laugh as they pass a blunt back and forth. I shake my head as they start arguing, pouring myself another shot, my mind drifting back to Jade.

She probably thinks I’m too experienced, maybe I’m too young for her liking. What the hell am I thinking? She said she doesn’t date, so why can’t I just accept that. Am I being vain thinking it has something to do with me? We just met, there's no reason for her to show any shade of interest in me.

I sigh, pouring another shot, and downing it in one go. Why am I so stressed over this? I need to get the hell over Jade, she’s just a woman. Just a single woman that likes to tease people. It’s a game, all of this is, and I need to be prepared to play.

“Damn Angel, you alright?” Logan asks and I nod, barely paying him any attention. I won’t be caught off guard again like I was with her mother. I will no longer be the weak, stuttering, nervous Angel that can’t even look Jade in the eye. Instead I will be the girl in the room that everyone craves. My looks have never been a question. I just need more confidence and to remind myself that I deserve to stand in the same room as the elite.

“She’s not alright, look” Cash’s voice is barely noticeable as I think about the next time I’ll see Jade. I need to be ready for her and this dinner. Someone passes me a blunt and I take it, not thinking twice. I rarely smoke anymore, especially if Leya is around, but she typically sleeps through the night, and being a nurse Taylor doesn’t smoke at all.

“Wow, okay, I’m on babysitting duty, what happened Angel?” Taylor grabs my arm, looking worried. I glance at Cash and Logan, pour one more shot and gesture for Taylor to follow me outside.

“Hey, our blunt”.

“Roll another one” I throw over my shoulder, uncaring as we step into their backyard. I pace in the grass, smoking the blunt letting it ease my anxiety.

“So, what’s up?”

“I have feelings for someone, like serious feelings. They are annoying, and growing, and unstoppable, and confusing, and they make everything complicated. I feel like I’m going insane. I spend my days thinking of her and overthinking the fact that she won’t get the fuck out of my head. God, she’s infuriating too, and self-righteous, like the world is going to do as she says because that’s what she wants. But then she makes me feel untouchable, and confident. She’s fucking with my head and it’s stressing me out. All day she teases me, touches me, only to turn me down. I haven’t had great sex in so long Taylor and she’s just fucking with me, it’s driving me crazy. I’m positive I’m certifiably insane”. I take a deep breath, before hitting the blunt again, running my hands through my hair.

“Wow”.

“I know”.

“I’ve never seen you like this before”.

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.

“I know”.

“Not even for dumb-ass in there”.

“I know, it’s embarrassing” I groaned, rubbing my face.

“Why is it embarrassing?”

“Because she doesn’t feel the same”.

“How do you know? From what you said, it sounds like she feels something for you”.

“She doesn’t date, she literally rejected the fuck out of me Taylor it was so embarrassing. It’s pretty clear there’s no intention of her changing her mind”. Jade is willing to pay me 400 thousand dollars every month, just to get out of being in a committed relationship.

“So, why not give her a reason to change her mind”.

“I’m so out of her league Taylor, it’s not even funny. She can literally have anyone she wants”.

“Yet, she’s giving her time and attention to you” she points out and feels my face heat. It doesn’t seem easy to have Jade’s attention. It’s something I considered, but it’s not enough to ease my worries. It’s just because she wants me to gain full control of her company.

“It’s complicated”.

“So, make it less complicated. It’s the 21st century, if you can’t be honest with her then maybe she’s not someone you need. Does she scare you?”

“Not in that way, she’s intimidating, dominating, but she doesn’t scare me. I guess I worry that our relationship will change. Or she won’t want anything to do with me at all. She’s always made commitment sound like a deal breaker”.

“Does she know about Leya?”

“Yes, they get along great. Leya won’t stop talking about her”.

“The nice lady that bought her clothes” I laugh and nod. Yeah a nice temptress that spoils my daughter and plays with my mind.

“Yeah, her, they met when Cash brought Leya to the bar. It was the woman I went out with for the day”. Taylor squints her eyes, pulling up her phone. She types and scrolls before showing me the pictures the paparazzi took of our little outing. Leya’s face is covered in all the pictures, or it’s only the back of her head and I feel relieved. However, Jade and I are clear as day, laughing, talking, they even managed to get a picture of Jade holding Leya. Jade insisted on getting Leya souvenirs against my wishes but it was too cute I couldn’t stay mad. I even snapped a few pictures of my own of the two together. You would think Jade and Leya were best friends.

“Isn’t this Jade Knight? The CEO of Knight Industries, hard-ass, cold, mysterious, sexy, businesswoman bad-ass that doesn’t take no for an answer?” I don’t answer Taylor’s question, smoking the blunt. Her name is right there so I figure the question is rhetorical.

“Oh my God, Angel, you didn’t say you knew her!”

“Shut up, I didn’t until she came in unannounced in the bar, which happens to be her bar by the way. I thought she was going to fire me when Cash dropped Leya off”.

“Instead, she asks you out to dinner?”

“Something like that, it’s complicated and now I’m so conflicted about what to do”.

“This isn’t just some random woman at the bar though Angel. She doesn’t just give her employees special attention like she has with you. She got your daughter clothes and basically a kids dream day out. It sounds like the feelings are mutual. Have you thought about telling her?”

“What if it fucks everything up?”

“What if it does? But what if it doesn’t and this is the push she needs to see what’s right in front of her”.

“I don’t like what ifs, they’re messy, and complicated and confusing”.

“Fine, what will make your heart feel at peace, holding this in and possibly regretting it later. Or taking a chance and telling this woman how you feel so it doesn’t eat you alive?” I groan, sitting down on the grass, blowing the smoke into the air.

“I don’t know Taylor”.

“I’m sure there’s a way you can tell her without compromising your friendship”.

“How am I supposed to do that?”

“I guess if you don’t expect to date her then say you're not telling her to change anything, but you just want her to know. If you two are always honest with each other I’m sure she’d appreciate knowing how you feel”. I nod, thinking back to all the conversations we’ve had. When we were getting to know each other she emphasized how much she hates liars. We both agreed this works the best if we’re honest with each other.

I guess Taylor and Nate have a point. We’re grown and if Jade wants to run from this, then fine. I can continue my life before she enters. I was doing just fine, even if it was a struggle sometimes.

“You’re right, honesty is the best policy” I lean back, as the drugs and alcohol begin to kick in.

“Fuck Taylor, how am I supposed to say I have damn feelings for Jade Knight, to fucking Jade Knight. Her eyes are like fucking lasers”. Taylor chuckles, grabbing my hand and pulling me off the dirty ground. Who am I kidding? I don’t have the confidence to admit my feelings out loud to Jade.

“I forgot how much you cuss when you’re fucked up”.

“I’m not going to tell her Tay ''. I need the money, even with the job it would be great for Leya. I looked at some of her properties and they’re all amazing. She even made sure they were around the best daycares in the area. Jade is amazing, and thoughtful, and considerate and so fucking frustrating.

“Why don’t you just think about it and in the meantime, come on. I want cookies”.

“Mmm that sounds amazing right now”.