Chapter 74

Weird Eaters

“Um…” Netta said. “That was… me.”

We all stared at her, not understanding. That is, until her stomach growled again, almost just as loud.

Stephen flipped out. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I forgot you were hungry–what can I get you? Why didn’t you say anything?”

But Dowser and I were just howling laughing. I couldn’t speak for him but, for me, it was because the idea of something so guttural and powerful coming from petite little Netta was just way too funny.

Netta didn’t look nearly as amused. She was blushing, her pale cheeks an explosion of red.

I patted her on the leg. “It’s okay, don’t be embarrassed, we’re all hungry.”

She smiled but the blushing didn’t diminish a single bit.

“What do you like, Netta?” Stephen asked. “All of you, actually. We have… well, everything.”

“No you don’t,” I said before I considered the fact that it had been quite a while since I’d been to the writing nook.

I brought up the menu and, holy crap, he wasn’t kidding, the nook now had every kind of food I could think to search for. Even a long list of Japanese dishes, the kind that my mom used to make. I quickly moved on past those choices.

“You got any wings?” Dowser asked, seemingly too lazy to look himself.

Stephen nodded. “Of course! Anyone else want wings?”

I said I did, though I wasn’t really feeling hungry at all, to be honest. My nerves were coiled tight, the thought of putting food on top of that didn’t particularly excite me.

Netta collapsed onto the table. “Give me wings, give me anything!”

“Okay, what kind of sauce should I–”

Netta grabbed Stephen’s hand and shook it. “Anything! Please!” Her stomach growled again and she collapsed onto the table again, groaning.

Geez. She was having one hell of a time.

I rubbed her back and said, “Just get some hot buffalo and some medium buffalo, split evenly.”

Stephen nodded. “Sounds good. Annnd… it’s ordered. Won’t be but a second. Oh, Netta, you may want to move.”

The table started to glow and I grabbed Netta and pulled her up into a sitting position right before the table became covered in wings.

“Food!!” Netta and Dowser both exclaimed at the same time and then dove right in.

“You meant a literal second,” I said, impressed. “I thought the table could only do that for minor stuff?”

“Pretty much everything in this place has gotten a boost.”

“What about the butler AI?” I asked.

“He is still here. I kept him mostly the same. Even though I really wanted to change his attitude a bit.”

“Why didn’t you?” I asked.

“Why do you think?” He said with a smirk.

My reply was interrupted by Netta’s arm, which reached out and slammed against my back, pushing me down into the wings.

“Eat, Darcy!” she somehow spoke completely clear as she continued to inhale wings, spitting out the bone a second later.

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I laughed and picked one up. “Which flavor is this?” I asked.

Dowser leaned over and squinted at it. “That’s the hotter one.” And then he was back, face first in the wing pile.

I took a bite out of it and, whoa, they were damn good. Not the best I’d ever had or anything but good. Of course, I couldn’t assume it was the food's fault–my stomach was still churning with nervous energy. So, while the other two absolutely devoured theirs, I nibbled away.

Stephen spawned in some glasses of water, which Netta and Dowser both took and chugged down before continuing on.

Stephen chuckled and joined me in just nibbling away at our wings.

I couldn’t help but smile.

“What’s that smile for?” Stephen asked.

I blushed a little, hoping the buffalo sauce on my face would hide it. “It’s just nice to be back here, having a meal, with a full table.”

Stephen returned the smile. “I feel the same way.”

I scoffed. “Surely you usually have this place packed with fans.”

He scratched his head. “Yeah, I guess… but all that is different. I missed this.” He gestured to the table.

“So you missed having some weirdos at one table to an otherwise empty nook?”

He laughed. “I guess that’s what I mean. Angelia also had some weird eating habits.”

“It’s a running theme in our allies,” I said with a grin.

"All done!" Dowser exhaled and leaned back, going limp in his seat.

By way of agreement Netta belched, the biggest burp I'd ever heard.

Dowser died laughing and pat her on the head. "Are all your bodily functions so loud?" She blushed hardcore, maybe even more than when her stomach growled. "You're so different than how I took you at the start."

Flustered, she said, "A-and what does that mean?"

"I pegged you for a prim and proper princess type."

"I... I kind of am! Just not when it comes to food." She wiped her face with a summoned napkin. When fully clean she bowed. "I'm sorry you all saw me that way. I don't usually let my hunger levels drop that much. I... can get ravenous."

I shook my hands as if to dispel her worries with the motion. "No, no, it's all good. I think we all enjoyed it."

Stephen was just sort of staring off into space so I kicked him.

"Wha—? Oh! Yeah, bodily functions are hilarious."

I bristled. That was so not what I wanted him to say. Netta bent her head again, the red of her face refusing to dissipate.

Dowser laughed. "They so are! I like you, Struggler King!" He held his hand out for a high five and, though Stephen could see his words had a bad effect on their intended target, he basically had no choice.

They high fived, to bodily functions.

I honestly would have high-fived too if I didn't think that would send Netta over the edge. So I just kept quietly rubbing her back.

It didn't take her too terribly long to recover. "Thanks, Darcy." She smiled at me, face devoid of red at last.

"No problem!" I returned her smile... but what she said next wiped it off my face.

"So, we should definitely hunt more ghosts, right? It's the only way."

Stephen tried to kill that idea. "What? Why do you want to go after more of those things?" He said. "Isn't that what that masked fuck wants from you? That's the last thing we should do. Instead, we can start training, if we pool all our specialties and resources together..."

"No," I said.

Stephen stopped his search for another option. I appreciated what he was doing but...

"The ghosts are the only way. We have an unknown amount of time to work with so the fastest way to gain Stats is to find some ghosts. Well, that is, if they are easy to find."

Stephen latched onto that. "Exactly. We've all gone our whole lives without knowing about them. They've gotta be impossible to—"

My chest flashed and the skull mask came flying out, stopping to hover over the table, still covered in bones, making quite the scene.

"Howdy, flesh bags! Just so you losers all know, you've unlocked a new feature for your first joint capture! Not sure where to find your next target? Well... now you do! Check it out! Later, baggies."

The skull mask cackled and then returned to its immovable normal form and dropped down onto the pile of bones and sauce.

"Gross," I said as I picked up the mask and started to wipe it clean with a napkin.

"You guys get it, too?" Stephen asked. "Even though Darcy got the catch?"

Netta nodded. "We even got some of the extra Stats for helping."

That was news to me. "You did?" I asked.

Dowser held up his hand, I thought for another high five but then he said, "Five points each." In his other hand, he summoned his mask.

Netta brandished hers too.

"Ready to see what the rude skull was talking about?" She held the mask inches from her face, waiting on us.

Dowser got into position too. I hurried to clean up the mask as best I could and then held my mask up. We put the masks on in perfect unison.

Blue assaulted my senses as soon as the mask clamped onto my face. My eyes felt like they'd plunged into an icy bath of water and, as you can imagine, it hurt like hell. All three of us exclaimed in pain.

"What? What's happening?" Stephen asked, gearing up to reach for me but unsure how he could help.

"It's... okay. Just hurts a little," I said.

I looked at Stephen. Bad mistake. The mask reacted.

[ Scanning lifeform... Life detected! ]

The jolt my body felt as it examined, disappeared as it released me, and in my vision "Alive" was written in the center of Stephen's chest.

"How is that helpful?" Netta asked.

I turned to look at her and the mask reacted again, but not quite as intense, just a little flex.

[ Fellow Ghost Hunter detected! Party up? ]

"Whoa," Netta said. "This thing has its own party system?"

"It does?" Dowser looked at us. "Whoa!"

I probably would have laughed at that but I was too distracted. "Why does that matter? All I want is a way to find ghosts."

[ Command recognized! Scanning surroundings... ]