"Guys, are you seeing this?? I can't believe it!" BigNuts69, one of the quickest rising streamers commentated to an audience of 100k viewers.
His average was usually half that but he had been lucky enough to stumble upon the craziest fight. Possibly of all time.
A lone User, more of a pink blur than person, whizzed around the battlefield as a squad of eight tried desperately to kill them.
"You all see who the attackers are, right?? Those are the best User Killers the Interverse has ever had. Just one of them is enough to kill at least six normal Users. And that pink blur is taking on all EIGHT of them!!"
BigNuts69 swiveled the camera away from his face to better track the action. Better, but not great, as the pink figure still moved way too fast. Two men charged at the blur, gun and blaster fire from their allies flying over their shoulders.
"That's the Brothers Grimm! No one can match one of their speed in battle—with both of them there's no hope at all! Could this be it for the Pink Blur??"
The Blur charged forward with a force attack, evaporating the space where the Brothers had been. They leapt out of the way just in time, and both came down on the Blur from opposite sides, their twin blades poised to cut their target into pieces.
Then the Blur did the strangest thing. It bent down, but not enough to go under the blades. Just stopped right in the middle. The blades slammed into the Blurs head... and their attacks connected with it, and held. Both Brothers' eyes went wide... and then they started to laugh.
"I can't believe this, the Blur held its own! But now the Brothers are... laughing? I gotta get closer! One second guys."
The camera went wild as the streamer clambered over broken debris before taking up a good spot a few dozen feet from the action. The camera steadied and he zoomed even further.
"I still can't quite make out what they're laughing at... The Blur’s pink glow is way too blinding!"
The Brothers Grimm continued to laugh at their attacker, their weapons still pressed against the Blur's helmet.
The Blur held up their hands and shot off two charged beams. The still preoccupied Brothers didn't even see it coming. It nailed them in their chests and took out half their health. They spiraled to either side of the Blur, crashing into opposite buildings and losing the rest of their HP.
The Pink Blur stood up and turned to face the camera, giving the streamer's 100k viewers their first good look. The streamer zoomed in further, starting at the figure's feet and panning up. They wore some obviously killer equipment, but it was impossible to get a read on just what they had equipped exactly as their whole figure, even while standing still, moved and swirled with a pink glow.
"This crazy guy is strapped with a disruption field—one made for ships! How the hell does he see through that???" Sure enough, slung over the Blur’s back, you could just make out the long black bar where the pink light was extra intense. "That's how he looked so fast! And why he can't be hit! Genius!"
The remaining six members of the group trained their sights again. Only this time their reticules fell on a new target.
"Oh Jesus! I gotta get out of here! Wait... let me make a poll..."
A poll popped up on the side of the screen, it read:
[ Should I:
Stay
Run away ]
"Vote quick guys!!"
The Pink Blur walked toward the camera.
"I'm serious, hurry up, please!!!"
The gun and blaster fire started up again and the camera spun like crazy. But it focused enough to catch the Pink Blur come at the streamer with its hands out, scooping him and the camera up before it spun out of control.
[ Poll complete! ]
[ Stay: 99%
Leave: 1% ]
The camera righted and it appeared to be in the streamers lap. He looked down at it, squinting as he read the poll results. He laughed. "Well, you got it! I'm not going anywhere!"
Bullets and blasts of energy flew over his head. The Pink Blur had brought him to safety and they were both pressed up against the side of a half destroyed car.
"Why are you here?" The Blur's voice was distorted as much as their appearance.
"I dunno, man! I was just browsing levels and this one seemed old and boring but nine Users were logged in. Just wanted to see what was up—had no idea I would find a freaking battle to the death raging! Say hey to my followers, by the way."
BigNuts69 moved his camera closer to the Pink Blur. The live chat exploded with hellos and probably a lot less wholesome jabber if you were able to slow it down.
"Man, Chat loves you, bro."
The Blur pushed the camera down and away. "Put that up and log out, you idiot."
"Can't. Chat told me to stay."
"So? Do it anyway."
This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.
"Dude, polls are binding for a streamer. I literally can't log out until this thing plays out."
The Blur sighed deeply. "God, you streamers are really the worst, huh?"
"Yeah, we are awful." He flashed a thumbs up at the camera and grinned. The Chat went wild.
The attacks had stopped, but that wasn't a good thing.
The Pink Blur risked a look over the car.
"Shit. They are moving in."
"You can take them! Right, Chat? Let's start another poll! Can the Pink Blur—"
"Shut up. You don't understand how serious this is. These guys are not out here fighting me for a laugh. I know you know who they are. You should be scared cause I'm their target and since you are here they are going to think we are in a Party."
"What's bad about that? I'd be honored to be in a Party with you!" He grinned and flourished his arms for some reason.
"They want me dead so they are going to want you dead. And not PVP dead but DEAD dead. Once they get close enough to see your Username you officially become target number two on their hit list. And one death will not be the end of it."
The reality of the situation seemed to finally dawn on the streamer. He swallowed and his whole demeanor changed.
"Okay, Chat, on second thought I think I better get out of here. New poll."
[ Should I log out?
Yes
No ]
The votes flooded in.
[ Poll complete!
Yes: 10%
No: 90% ]
"Oh hell no, guys, don't do this."
"That only leaves one option."
He looked up at the Pink Blur and smiled weakly. "You take out all the bad guys and then I can leave peacefully?"
"No. I PVP kill you before they can get to you."
"Screw that!" The streamer bolted.
Or tried to. The Blur grabbed him by the neck and yanked him back onto the ground. The camera landed back into his lap again.
"I'm trying to protect you, you little shit." The Blur held their other hand up to the streamers head, a ball of energy charged up in their palm.
"No! Don't do that! I'll lose my loot! Guys, another poll, please let me log out."
[ Can I log out now??
Yes
No ]
"No more polls." The Blur released the energy blast but the streamer jerked wildly to the side and managed to dodge it. "Just sit still and let me kill you, damn it! Whatever loot you got isn't worth being tortured over!"
[ Poll Complete! ]
[ Can I log out now??
Yes: 49%
No: 51% ]
"CHAT WHY!?" BigNuts69 shook the camera like mad which did not help win his chat over.
The Blur gripped him even tighter by the neck and slammed him back against the car. They held him firm and put the palm of their hand directly on his head. He had no hope of escaping a second time.
The energy formed in their hand, eating at the streamers head and his health bar at the top of the screen shed numbers like a leaky sink, and the blast wasn't even close to full charge.
But it never made it quite there as the car they hid behind was lifted into the air. BigNuts tumbled over onto his back, the Blur loosened their grip but didn't let go all the way. The hand that was building energy aimed at the new threat. Which just happened to be a hulking mass of a man.
"Holy shit, it's Tiny Giant!" BigNuts screamed. "The legendary User Killer who can pop people's heads with a flick of his finger!"
The mass of a man grinned. "Shall I demonstrate?"
[ Poll activated! ]
[ Should Tiny Giant demonstrate?
Yes
No ]
"What the hell mods, don't ask Chat that!!"
The Blur fired into the man's face. The blast dug into his cheek, spinning, as his health bar was shaved off by a few centimeters.
"Cute." He chucked the car over his shoulder, one handed, playing things up for the camera.
He made a grab for the Blur but they ducked easily out of the way. He scoffed. "Fine, then." He grabbed the streamer with both hands.
And squeezed.
"My organs!" BigNuts screamed.
The camera plopped onto the ground, somehow landing perfectly to keep everything in frame.
The giant laughed. "What will you do now?"
"I have no relation to this guy, he is just a random annoyance. You've got a problem with me? Put him down and let's finish this."
The giant loosened his grip and BigNuts was granted some relief; he stopped screaming and switched to whimpering.
[ Poll Complete! ]
[ Should Tiny Giant demonstrate?
Yes: 67%
No: 33% ]
"Fuck you, Chat!" BigNuts69 managed to get out before the giant laughed and put the squeeze on again, wringing out more of the streamers health bar.
"I'm just giving the people what they want! But I do agree... let's finish this."
He jerked his head and the remaining members of his Party appeared a ways off, charging up what most assuredly would be their final attacks.
The Blur sighed. "Alright. Just remember, you jackasses came after ME."
The giant roared with laughter, then went silent, smiling. "Kill her!"
His Party members rushed from each side of the giant—they would close the gap in seconds. Which left just enough time for the Blur to turn their back on all of them, lean back... and press a button on the disruptor on their back. The pink glow intensified, blinding everyone for a moment.
"The hell is—??" Before the giant could even finish the sentence the glow cut off, providing a millisecond of peace...
The disruptor disengaged from the Blur's back and shot upward, for all intents and purposes becoming a missile. It slid between the giant’s outstretched arms and nailed him right in the chest, continuing on and delivering an uppercut into his chin. The speed and force was so great that that wasn't even the end of it—it kept on going, carrying the giant up with it.
Luckily, in the shock of the moment, he released BigNuts69, who collapsed onto the ground near the camera. He coughed once, catching his breath, and turned back to watch as the rest of the giant's party kept coming, their powered attacks aimed right at him and the Blur’s unprotected back.
That's when the viewers could see it. Without the disruptor, The Pink Blur was no longer formless. They were decked out in some serious gear, all pink, but what stood out the most was...
"Holy shit! You're wearing the Noob Helmet!"
The Blur's head was a fish bowl, lined with a pink glow, the face inside distorted and goofy looking. Anyone who had stepped into the combat side of the Interverse recognized the helmet. It was the starting equipment, what you were meant to abandon as soon as possible because of its many drawbacks: It made your face look dumb, it was pink (which could a be a plus or a negative, your mileage may vary), and it limited your HP to a measly 100.
But it did possess one single positive trait...
100% Headshot Resistance.
The giant's Party came down on the Blur, their powered up attacks set to vaporize the two Users in front of an audience of now 500k viewers. But the Blur tucked down and the light show slammed into their fish bowl, reaching its most intense point.
For a moment nothing happened. The light just shone and the attackers and the streamer yelled bloody murder. But then the Blur's voice joined the onslaught as they grunted in desperation and threw back their head, straight up into the brunt of the attacks, the lights exploding into nothing as the energy bounced off harmlessly.
The Blur ducked and rolled around to face their opponents and sent out a charge shot of their own, catching the attackers completely unaware. They joined their leader and flew off in a similar manner, disappearing into the sky or launching into the side of a building.
The streamer just sat there on his knees, his mouth agape.
"That... that was... FUCKING AWESOME!!" He shouted, fist pumping the sky. "Did you see that, Chat?? The Pink Blur just took on eight members of the User Killer Guild. While wearing a fucking fish bowl!!" He leaned back and let out a long cheer, the live Chat going absolutely wild.
The Blur picked up the still cheering streamer by his shirt and walked over to the camera.
"Stream’s over."
"No, wait--!" The streamer reached for the camera but not fast enough.
The Blur crushed it with her boot, killing the feed. But it was too late. The Interverse had found its new obsession, a Pink Blur that would soon be known as...
[ The Girl with the Fishbowl Head ]