It was the dead of winter in Norway and Akira had never been so cold. The cold cut through all of her clothes and seeped into her bones. It literally froze the blood oozing from her mauled back to her skin. Ehren did his best to keep her skin clean but he had to sleep at some point, something Akira’d insisted on. They had never argued so much before. Every time they fought, a piece of Akira’s broken heart broke a little more. Yet, she hid it well behind her talk of research and ships and research on ships. Somehow, Levi seemed to know when an argument had gone too far and would push Ehren away until both their tempers cooled. Kairos hadn’t left her side since leaving their island home.

As they pressed ever onward, Akira grew weaker and weaker. Something she intensely hated because it forced her to rely on someone to carry her. Most days, Ehren carried her bridal style. But when they were fighting, Asena carried her on her back. Askel and Mavi still trailed behind them but no one would tell her why. They avoided the subject whenever they could and changed the subject quickly whenever she asked about them. It was beginning to drive her mad. On top of that, she was dreaming about Loki. And they weren’t good dreams either. Most nights, she would wake screaming, crying, or more often both. It was also becoming harder to distinguish dream from reality, something no one seemed to understand. Things came to a head the night they had to take shelter from a blizzard. As usual, Akira woke from another dream of Loki screaming with tears coursing down her cheeks. The fog of sleep still clouded her mind as she pulled her knees to her chest and sobbed brokenly. She flinched when the door slammed open but didn’t look up.

“Akira!” Ehren’s voice was thick with sleep and exasperation.

She flinched again. Her dream was still too fresh.

“Akira,” Ehren’s voice was softer now and had moved closer. “Kira, what is it?”

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She didn’t reply. She didn’t know if she could trust anything yet. Loki had manipulated things in her dreams, made her believe things she knew she shouldn’t. She heard Ehren sigh.

“I can’t help you if you don’t talk to me,” he whispered.

Akira looked up at him then. His whiskey eyes were exhausted and the bags beneath them had gotten even darker. His onyx hair was disheveled and still looked wet from the snow.

“You can’t help me,” her voice was a hoarse whisper. “No one can.”

A realization had been dawning on her since they started this journey. Loki hadn’t removed his entire curse for a reason, even though he could have. This was the reason. He’d known they would travel to Norway to help Askel and that doing so would trigger the remainder of his curse. He wanted her to alienate herself, to push everyone away. What he didn’t know was, her nightmares were driving them away.

“I thought after all we’ve been through you’d trust me to help you,” Ehren told her angrily.

“I can’t even trust myself right now!” she snapped.

“How the hell can you not trust yourself?” Ehren yelled.

“I don’t even know what’s real anymore!” she shouted. “The dreams are so real, more real than they have ever been. Gods, I can’t trust my own mind! How the fuck am I supposed to trust someone when I can’t fucking distinguish between dream and reality anymore!”

She choked on a sob and buried her face in her lap. She didn’t see Ehren’s shocked face. But she heard his tears.

“Let me help you,” he cried.

“Don’t you fucking get it?” she sobbed even harder. “You can’t fucking help me! I’m not even sure what’s real anymore! I…I can’t…I just can’t keep doing this! I can’t…I can’t…I can’t keep going like this! I’m slowing all of you down and you know it.”

Ehren moved toward her. She looked up at him through her tears.

“You’re not slowing us down, if anything is it’s the snow,” he told her reaching out to her.

Akira shrank away from his outstretched hand. Some part of her mind, the part Loki hadn’t twisted, knew her fear of Ehren was irrational. He’d never done nor would he do anything to hurt her. But that part of her brain was not in control and hadn’t been since they had set foot in Norway. She was losing control of her mind to Loki and that scared the shit out of her.