Hoo boy, nothing like walking down some train tracks in the middle of the night while poison slowly kills you from the inside. How invigorating!
No, that's not right… What's the opposite of invigorating?
Debilitating. That's the word I was looking for. Walking down train tracks in the middle of the night while poison slowly kills you from the inside is debilitating.
And man, let me tell you, it was really starting to kick my ass. The world blurred more and more with each passing second, and my jelly legs turned into pudding about twenty feet back.
Was breathing always this hard? I don't remember it being this hard. Man getting poisoned sucks. Cranks up breathing to the same difficulty as a 40 year old chain smoker.
My poor, pretty pink lungs…
Lungs were pink right? Or was that the liver? Were all organs pink? Did it even matter? I guess it would if they were pink when they weren't supposed to be.
What was I doing again?
Oh right, the body face down and booty up. It was still so far away. Was I even getting any closer? Because it sure didn't feel like it. Shitty walking simulator, I want a refund!
Stopping about 10 feet or so from the body, I think, it was hard to tell with my vision blurry and my depth perception on the fritz, I placed my hands on my knees to take a break and keep myself from falling over.
I haven't felt this out of shape since that one summer I ate nothing but pop tarts and pizza pockets. You know, girls say they like the dad bod, but that's total BS. No chick was lining up to feel my jiggles.
Rock hard abs on the other hand…
Ok, they still didn't line up, but I knew they wanted to! It was in their eyes!
Standing up straight, with my breathing slightly less erratic, I turned my gaze to the figure on the ground. It was hard to make out anything concrete, her whole figure was little more than a blob of color, but she seemed vaguely familiar.
To be honest, I say that about a lot of blondes. But this time I was serious. Trying to think of anyone who fits the description, my mind drew a blank. And even if it could draw better, it would probably be a blurry mess right now anyway.
With the poison in my veins, I doubted I had the motor functions to draw anything with clarity. Probably turn into a Picasso or something. Not flattering in the least, and with all the super powered women in this world, I definitely wanted them flattered.
Or I might end up flattened.
I took another step forward, making sure to keep my balance. But when the ground felt like an earthquake was happening, it proved to be somewhat difficult.
However, I persevered, taking one wobbly step after another, until I was within spitting distance of the body.
Not that I planned to spit on her or anything. How fucked up would that be?
But it was here, at the very end, with my goal so very near, that I made a fatal mistake. You know, besides eating obviously deadly curry. No, this mistake was far less obvious, but no less deadly. For you see, in my haste to exercise my chivalrous spirit, I didn't pay enough attention to my next step.
And tripped over a pebble. Not a rock, not a stone, a pebble.
A goddamn pebble…
Are you fucking kidding me! Those were my last, oh so eloquent thoughts before hitting the ground face first, and my world going black.
Hello darkness my old friend…
I woke up an unknown amount of time later, with my nose still throbbing. "Ow, ow, ow," I griped as I forced myself to my knees. I looked at my hand, checking for blood.
Good news, no blood.
Bad news, it was see through.
And that wasn't the only thing, oh no. For you see, upon the ground lay my very own body. I, however, was no longer inside of it. It looks as if I did in fact die, and was now a spirit.
You'd think that would make me panic, but instead, I just felt relieved the all encompassing pain in my stomach was gone. Also I could see clearly once more, so that was plus #2 from being dead.
So far, death was a fairly pleasant ordeal. Not bad at all.
Standing up, which was this side of creepy, considering my legs were coming out of my back. I gingerly stepped out of my own body, a slight feeling of revulsion hitting me. Just the image of my legs growing out of my back sent shivers up and down my spine. It sounded like a two-bit, budget friendly horror monster. A bootleg SCP.
If I was going to turn into a monster, I intended to be AAA quality. I would settle for nothing less!
That being said, let's check out my new spirit body. Turning around every which way I tried to inspect every inch of me. Honestly, it wasn't much different besides the fact that I was now wearing a white kimono thing. What were they called again? Shika something or other?
Don't know, can't remember. Also, I felt a bit lighter, almost like I dropped some weight.
Get it, because I'm a ghost?
…Moving on!
With my new found lightness, I decided to try and jump, just to see how high I could go. Turns out, it's pretty high. I easily cleared the 8 foot fence that was supposed to prevent me from entering the area I was in, which was thankfully cut by some delinquents, allowing me easy access.
Which was good, since there was no way I could have climbed that thing in my condition.
I landed with a soft thump, fists raised to the sky in triumph. Man, being in a spirit body rocks! I feel so much stronger now! That got me thinking… Didn't Ichigo get significantly stronger when he was in his Soul Reaper form? Probably had something to do with his Reiryoku, or maybe his Spirit Stat.
Perhaps the same could be said for me. Might as well check my Stats and see for myself.
Ushio Tenma
Level: 5 (250/500)
Health: 365/792
Stamina: 260/427
Reiryoku:528/528
Strength: 61 (86)
Agility: 21 (46)
Vitality: 32 (57)
Intelligence: 12
Wisdom: 22
Spirit: 25
Charisma: 8
Unused Points: 11
Holy cow, looks like I was right! The Spirit Stat definitely plays a significant role here. Looks like it straight up gets added to my physical Stats, sweet! Makes sense, I guess, considering I was in a spiritual body now.
I looked myself over once more, flexing my muscles a bit. They didn't look any different, but according to the System, I just gained a significant boost. Judging from that, it would make sense to put my unused Stat Points into Spirit, considering I'll mostly be fighting in this form in the future.
Just as I was about to do so, I stopped. While that seemed like the best strategy at the moment, there was a chance it could backfire on me horribly. I should consider all my options before diving into the deep and like a total doof.
There was one other thing I noticed about my new body, it was missing something. Something that was vital to the functions of this world. My Chain of Fate was nowhere to be found.
…That can't be good right? Didn't that thing bind a person to their body or something? I know I was near death, but I hadn't kicked the bucket just yet. There was still a chance I wouldn't die.
Hang on…
Death…
Thinking about it, I did die, didn't I? That was the whole reason I was here in the first place. The life was stabbed out of me by a tweaker. Thinking about it that way, it kind of made sense.
For thinking things through logically and coming to the correct conclusion, you gain 1 Intelligence and 1 Wisdom.
I see, so I was right. Cool, I'll take the Stat gains, all day everyday. But now there's another worry festering around in my head. Wouldn't that mean my living body is basically a Gigai? Nothing more than a skin suit I wear to appear human?
Not sure how I feel about this. It was bad enough knowing I was in the body of my universal counterpart, but this was on another level. Hell, was I even still human at this point?
"Deep breaths Ushio, deep breaths. You're fine, everything is fine, nothing to worry about," I told myself, breathing deeply from the pool of copium.
This didn't change much. Even if I was technically a spirit, I'm still me. Still the same old Ushio. The world is my oyster, I just need to crack that bitch open.
That's right, being dead wouldn't stop me. I wouldn't let a little thing like that slow me down! It tried and failed before, and this would be no different!
Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
Right, with that little existential crisis sorted out, it was time to figure out how to get back inside my body. Looking down at it, I couldn't help the apprehension that welled up. It wasn't because it was essentially a Gigai that stopped me, no, it was because of the poison coursing through its veins.
My veins, technically.
In my fancy smancy ghost body, I couldn't feel the effects of the poison anymore. Guess that was because it was infecting my physical body and not my spiritual one. Though, the damage it did seemed to transfer over, I at least didn't want to vomit anymore and my vision wasn't all blurry.
Hang on, was my body even still alive at this point? I mean, what was a body without a soul? Just a pile of meat and bones and other gross stuff. Like a puppet without any strings to guide it.
Oh, but this does solve the issue of what happens to me if I die, doesn't it? Looks like there was an afterlife waiting for me after all. That's a load off. Doesn't mean I'm ready to depart just yet, but it was nice to know I wouldn't be cast into oblivion when I die.
You do realize you haven't actually died yet, right? Your physical body is still breathing, although barely. So who knows what would happen if it does perish with you inside it.
Well, well, well, I see you've come to poop on my parade system. How nice to see you. But if you don't mind, kindly shut the hell up. I was enjoying a worry free existence until you opened your fat mouth.
I do not have a mouth.
You know what I mean! Damn you, I was almost over one of my existential crises, and you just had to ruin it, didn't you? Just couldn't let me have a bit of peace of mind, could you?
Fine, fine have it your way. I'll allow you to freak out in solitude. But before I go, weren't you supposed to be checking on someone?
Checking on someone? What was he…?
Looking down once again, I spotted a body, laying face down on the ground. A short, petite girl, with blonde hair done in pigtails, wearing a dark red tracksuit. Which was a relief, considering I thought it was blood when my vision was all blurry.
Oh right… That's what I was doing over here instead of going to the hospital. I completely forgot after the shock of ending up a spirit. Kinda makes me feel like an ass.
You are an ass.
I thought I put you on airplane mode!? When it didn't respond again after a minute, I nodded my head in satisfaction. Good, now to check on the girl.
Of course, no good deed goes unpunished. As I approached the body, which thankfully wasn't very far, I just so happened to stub my toe on a rock. Stubbed it real good. As I hopped up and down, holding my toe to ease the pain, I then landed on another rock.
My foot went sideways and I'm almost positive it was sprained. Kind of not fair that a spiritual body could sprain an ankle, but whatever. However, that wasn't the worst part of this cartoon-like escapade. You see, when I landed on that rock, I also fell, landing right on top of the body.
At least it wasn't a pebble this time.
"Ow… Damn it that hurt. Stupid rocks, what asshole put… them… there…?" I asked, while forcing myself to my hands and knees. But something was wrong. My voice… It was decidedly feminine.
Jumping to my feet, I looked myself over, and to my horror, I was no longer in my own body. When I tripped and fell on the girl, I must have entered her body by accident. I stared at my much smaller hands in shock.
How? Why? This shouldn't be possible, not if she was still alive. Wait, did that mean she was dead, and I'm now wearing a dead girl's body!?
No! This is not how this story is supposed to turn out! How am I supposed to have Big Dick Energy if I don't even have a dick?
Was that the most important thing to be worried about right now? You're goddamn right it was! I haven't even got to use that bad boy yet, and now I'm in the body of a small, blonde haired woman!
Curse you Being X!
I needed to find a way out of this body, so I began inspecting it, my hands started roaming over every inch of it. Like I thought, she was rather petite, but she has a surprisingly ample chest. And the booty… not bad at all.
This would be so much more fun if I was in my own body. Feeling me grope myself was a bit weird, especially since these aren't the normal places I would grope.
But just whose body was I in, and how did I get inside of it in the first place. Perhaps I should check my handy dandy game system and find out.
Ushio Tenma
Level: 5 (250/500)
Health: 365/792
Stamina: 260/427
Reiryoku:528/528
Strength: 105
Agility: 160
Vitality: 120
Intelligence: 12
Wisdom: 22
Spirit: 25
Charisma: 8
Unused Points: 11
I stared at the Stats in front of me with wide eyes. How in the hell was this tiny, waif of a girl stronger than me? My biceps were bigger than her head! It didn't make any sense!
Not to mention my Hp, Stamina, and Reiryoku didn't increase at all from the increased Stats. Was it because they were tied to my soul and not necessarily my body?
System, explain!
…
Are you serious right now? Is this because I told you to shut up? This is not the time for this! I'm freaking out here! She shouldn't be this strong! It was impossible!
Unless she was a soul reaper or something. Who do I know that has blonde hair in pigtails, with a short, slender physique? A loli, some might say. I could feel the answer on the tip of my tongue.
Too bad there wasn't any mirror nearby. That would have been real helpful right about now.
I frowned as nothing came to mind, and that's when I felt something strange in my mouth. Like I had an overly large tooth. I felt around with my tongue and sure enough, I had a massive canine on the left side of my mouth.
Hang on a second… Short… Blonde… Snaggletooth….
Oh crap! I was in the body of-
"Hey, what the hell do you think you're doing?" asked a very angry voice from behind me. Turning around slowly, almost robotically, I saw the very same person I was just thinking of.
Standing there with her arms crossed, wearing an exact replica of the outfit I was currently wearing, only this one had a katana strapped to her back, was none other than Hiyori Sarugaki.
And she did not look happy.
"Well… I'm waiting," she growled.
"Uh…" I responded with all my intelligence. It was still weird, hearing her voice coming out of my mouth. I doubt it was something I'd ever get used to, and hopefully, I wouldn't have to.
Her eyes narrowed at my response, and her eyes traveled downward. A fierce blush lit up her face, one born from embarrassment and righteous, female fury. Following her gaze, I realized I made a bit of an oopsie.
I was still groping her chest.
But I mean, come on, I'm a guy! I couldn't help it! Boobies were right there! It was a temptation no straight man would be able to resist. It wasn't my fault, it was biology!
Biology I tell you!
Somehow, I don't think she thought the same way about it as I do. She pointed at me, shouting, "Hey! Get your hands off there you pervert!"
I looked down at where my hands were still on her chest, and against my will, I gave them another squeeze. I just couldn't help it! It was an involuntary reaction!
-5 Affection gain to Hiyori Sarugaki (-5/100)
Ah shit, that sucks. I would have to find some way to make it up to her in the future, assuming I survived that is. But judging by the look on her face, that was seeming less and less likely.
"That's it, you are so dead!" she shouted at me again, before disappearing from my sight and reappearing right in front of me, grabbing the front of my shirt, and staring directly into my eyes.
Damn that was fast! She must have used Soru. Wait, wrong anime… Flash Step, that was it! She must have used Flash Step!
Well, at least with her grabbing me like this I wasn't able to grope her anymore. So maybe that would help calm her down.
"Wait! I'm in your body! Hitting me would only hurt you!" I yelled, seeing her bring her fist back to punch me into next week. Thankfully, she wasn't so far gone she didn't hear me, and she hesitated to break my nose.
Or her nose, technically.
She growled, and let me go, making me sigh in relief. I did not want to get hit by somebody with her strength. Speaking of, perhaps I should start the Scan. No reason not to, right?
"Then get out already!" she shouted, no less hostility in her tone. Damn, not out of the woods yet. But I'm sure she's a reasonable person and I can explain exactly what happened, and we can put this whole mess behind us.
Right?
"I would if I could, but I don't know how! This was an accident," I told her. She gave me a skeptical look, clearly not believing me.
"Accident huh? Nice try, asshole, I saw where your hands were! You call that an accident!?"
"More like an involuntary reaction," I responded.
"Looked pretty voluntary to me, baldy," she countered. How did she know I was bald? I don't think she's seen my body yet, so how?
Oh right, she calls everyone a baldy doesn't she? But in this case, it was actually true.
"Look, I'm sorry. When I suddenly found myself in the body of a hot girl, I couldn't help myself," I said. Hopefully she was like Tatsuki and enjoyed having her ego stroked.
+2 Affection to Hiyori Sarugaki (-3/100)
Yes, it worked! I was slightly less likely to die now!
Hiyori's face lit up red once more, "Y-you think saying something like that will get you off the hook?"
You know, I'm starting to think I have some kind of special power that attracts the tomboy types. This is the third one so far. At least I was getting good at recognizing what made them tick.
"No, I was just trying to explain myself. I'm Ushio by the way, nice to meet you," I said, holding my hand out to her for her to shake. Or, holding her hand out to her, technically. It was pretty weird, not gonna lie.
"Hiyori, nice to meet you-wait a minute!" she shouted, as she reached for my hand. She jumped back, pointing an accusing finger at me. "Just what game do you think you're playing at!?"
I was genuinely confused by her accusation. I tilted her head in confusion, "Uh, what are you talking about?" I asked.
"Trying to butter me up so I won't kill you! Well it won't work, now get out of my body!" she shouted.
You know, she wasn't completely wrong. Probably best not to tell her that though.
"I already told you, I don't know how. I'd love to return to my own body if I could," I said.
"Your own body?" she asked, confused. Looking around, she finally seemed to notice my own body laying there. "Huh, so you're an actual baldy…" she muttered.
+1 Affection to Hiyori Sarugaki (-2/100)
Hang on, did Hiyori actually have a thing for bald guys? Could this woman be my soul mate?
"Sure am. I fell down there and the next thing I know, I'm a spirit. Then I tripped on a rock and fell right into your body," I explained.
"Is that right?" she asked. I raised an eyebrow at the tone of her voice. Alarm bells started ringing in my head.
"Uh yeah, so if you know a way to return me to my own body, I'd really appreciate it," I said. But it seemed like she wasn't paying all that much attention to me, her entire focus on my body. I know I'm sexy and all, but this was a little much.
"I have a better idea…" she said, turning to me with that wide, snaggletooth grin. Oh, that can't be good. She's scheming something, and I have a sneaking suspicion it involves my body.
"Oh, and what would that be?" I asked, nervously. If anything, her grin got even bigger.
"I think I'll take your body for a test drive. See how you like it, baldy," she said.
My eyes widened at that. She couldn't be serious, could she? I thought she was just going to draw on my face or something, not jack my body. Not to mention the current state it was in.
"Uh, I don't think that would be the best idea," I said, hoping to dissuade her. But it seems like she was determined to do this, taking a coy step towards my body.
"Oh, and why is that?" she asked, stopping right next to it.
"Well, I kind of have food poisoning. It's the whole reason I collapsed in the first place," I told her. She raised an eyebrow at me, and turned to look at my body. For a second, I thought she would give up and maybe go get some help. Or at the very least, lead me there.
But no. It seems I underestimated her bullheadedness. "Nice try, baldy. But that excuse won't work on me. If you were really sick, why would you be all the way out here?"
Ok, she had a point. It didn't make a whole lot of sense when she put it that way. And for some reason I doubted she would buy that a sick guy would wander over here to check on a random body either. Nobody was that altruistic.
Except for my dumbass.
So I could do little more than watch as she stepped on my body, which was just plain rude by the way, and disappeared inside of it.
This won't end well.
After a few seconds, her eyes opened, and she stood up with a grin. I know I should be angry, but it was kind of neat to see my own body from this perspective. Not gonna lie, I was even hotter than I thought. Mirrors do not do me justice.
"How do you like that, huh?" she asked, in my voice. I raised an eyebrow as she stood there, with her hands on my hips. That pose did not suit me at all.
I sighed as I held my hand up, counting down from five.
"5…"
"4…"
"3…"
"2…"
"1…"
"What are you doing?" she asked. But when I reached 0, my body that she hijacked seemed to react. Hiyori clutched my stomach in agony, and I could swear I heard gurgling sounds coming from it.
"Ah, what the hell?" she asked. Her teeth were clenched tight as she tried to fight off the sudden pain. She looked at me in confusion.
"I tried to tell you," I said, nonchalantly.
She glared at me, before her eyes widened and she covered my mouth with her hand. It didn't take a genius to figure out what was about to happen. Seconds later, Hiyori was throwing up my dinner.
I sighed as I walked over to her, and began to rub my back, trying to offer what little comfort I could. Aren't I a nice guy?
Honestly, I'm just glad it's not me. She also sort of had it coming. I know I groped her body and everything, but that wasn't exactly intentional. Her diving into my body, even after I warned her, was entirely her fault.
"I'm going to kill you," she threatened, before expelling the contents of my stomach once again. I sighed and continued to rub her/my back.
This was going to be a long night.