You know, I'm not the biggest fan of surprises. Sure, they can be good on occasion, like a sexy stripper popping out of your birthday cake, but the flipside to that, she has the clap and now, so do you.

Why do I bring this up? Well, when I arrived back at the large courtyard that the Blue Ogre resided in, it turned out that he was not alone anymore. You might be thinking that it's just another ogre, but that would be false.

"What in the hell?" I asked, not believing what my eyes were seeing. There, in the middle of the courtyard, was Hiyori, tied up to a t-shaped wooden pole, looking like she was about to be crucified. Her head was slumped forward, and I figured she was unconscious.

I looked at the Minimap, thinking I would see a red dot there indicating it was an enemy in disguise somehow, but to my further surprise, it was blue. Do you get why I don't like surprises?

I even tried Scanning her, but all I got was the same info as the last time I checked. It's looking more and more like she was really down there.

But how in the hell could she be here? That just didn't make any sense. She was supposed to be in the tower. That was the whole reason I was getting these stupid orbs in the first place! Every instinct in my body was screaming that this was a trap, just like before, when the Blue Ogre was the only enemy in the district.

Speaking of him, he was standing some ways away from Hiyori, with his freaking Minigun seemingly repaired, looking like he was going to execute her as a one man firing squad. Isn't that just freaking great? He was also wearing an eyepatch over the one I took out, which did fill me with a bit of pride.

But that pride was tempered by indecision.

Do I go down there and help her? I mean, every indication besides my gut instinct was telling me it was her. But what reason could they have to bring her out here? It didn't make any sense!

That might be the point.

"What do you mean?" I asked, confused.

That, right there. Confusion. Whoever's behind this likely knows you can't take the chance that that isn't Hiyori. And if that person is from the Heavenly Realm, then…

"Shit…" I mumbled. That throws everything out the window, doesn't it? Now there's no way of sussing out which one it was. Hiyori, or an imposter. The likelihood that either one could be true is basically a coin flip, and that's not a chance I could take.

If it is a trap, then it looks like I'm falling for it again. Man, being a video game protagonist sucks.

So, what are my options? I can try and take out the big, blue bastard before trying to save who may or may not be Hiyori, but if I can't and that really was her, then that would just be putting her in more danger.

The best plan, at least to my low IQ brain, is to try and remove her from the playing field entirely. Get in, get out and then come back to finish him off. If it isn't her, then I can be prepared to counter whatever plan it is they hope to get me with.

That would make the fight a 2v1, which I wasn't thrilled about. Though I can summon Shadow, so that's not entirely accurate. I guess it's more like, 2v1.5.

But it looks like I don't have more time to contemplate this mess, as Big Blue down there is raising his gun. If this is a trap, and that Hiyori down there is a fake, are they planning to just, murder them? Like, if I don't show up to save her, would they just kill one of their own? Pretty messed up, but then again, there are a shit ton of them. Guess they didn't care if they had to sacrifice one or two as long as they got to me.

Summoning Shadow, I prepared to do the stupid thing I needed to do. I would have him try and distract the big guy with the big gun, while I went over there to save the violent, yet sexy, munchkin.

I hope.

Hang on… could this be a different kind of trap? You know, the kind where you think it's a lady then realize you're in Bangkok? Oh dear God in heaven…

Gah, I can't think of that right now! The image of Hiyori with a big floppy donkey dick, grinning at my horror stricken face as she revealed it to me is not one I ever wanted to imagine. But, well, here we are. Curse me and my stupid brain!

Alright, back to the plan. Shadow would Shadow Strike the Blue Ogre, getting his attention. When his back was turned, I would Sprint for all my worth towards the totally female and not a trap of any kind, Hiyori.

I could use my own Shadow Strike, but just in case this whole thing isn't on the up and up, I wanted to have that in my back pocket so I could escape if I needed to.

Good luck. Fingers crossed she doesn't have a penis!

"Ah, damn it Sarah, now I'm thinking about it again!" I yelled, but there was no time left to chastise her further, because the Blue Ogre's Minigun, Isabella, was starting up. It was now or never.

I signaled for Shadow to attack and watched him disappear and reappear in the Blue Ogre's shadow. The sword flashed out and struck true, hitting him in the arm holding the gun.

I would have gone for the belt like last time, but it looked like that whole structure had been reinforced, so cutting through it was highly unlikely, which was unfortunate.

The big guy roared in pain, swinging the gun like a club towards Shadow, who managed to duck under it. Looks like upping that Ability was worth it after all. Now, with him thoroughly distracted by my good pal, it was time to do my part. I ran as fast as I could towards Hiyori, hoping I wasn't spotted and turned into swiss cheese.

Thankfully, I wasn't. I managed to reach her undisturbed. Once there, I could see that she was definitely unconscious, but more importantly, there weren't any suspicious bulges I could see coming from her lower half.

Hallelujah!

I drew my sword and used it to cut her free from the ropes. "I gotcha," I said, catching her as she fell. She didn't respond, but I could confirm she was alive by the rising and falling of her chest.

With her tiny body safely ensconced in my arms, I took a look at the Blue Ogre. Seeing as he was still safely distracted by Shadow, I felt secure enough to once more dart across the landscape.

I made it to the edge of the clearing before entering an alleyway. Setting Hiyori down carefully, her body leaning against the wall, I turned away to watch the battle unfold. Shadow was doing remarkably well for someone with half my Stats. Guess I'm just that awesome.

But I could still see he was losing ground. It was basically all he could do to dodge. But unfortunately for the Blue Ogre, he wasn't alone. I grinned as I grabbed my sword with my left hand.

Only to notice a shadow looming over me. Turning around, I was met with the completely expected sight of Hiyori, raising a sword to strike me down. The part that wasn't expected was the sword she was using to do it.

It was bigger than me, for one thing, and had large, serrated sections that reminded me of teeth. It was the weapon of a butcher, and it looks like I was on the chopping block. You know, I'm not surprised that she's trying to kill me, but I can't figure out for the life of me where she kept it hidden.

Hang on, wasn't that her Zanpakuto? I guess she can just pull it out of her ass then. Not literally I hope. But that did tilt the scales to this actually being Hiyori, which was a bit disappointing.

Because now I had to pull my punches. Looking into her eyes, I could see they were clouded over, dull and unseeing. I actually wasn't sure she was conscious. It almost looked like she was being controlled.

She swung the massive blade down at me, but I jumped backwards, out of the way and out of the alley. A large cloud of dust erupted from where she struck the ground, obscuring my vision.

Not that it mattered much, as she shot out of the cloud with her sword raised, ready to sever my beautiful bald head from my beautiful buff body. And that I couldn't allow. I swung my sword and parried her attack, twisting my body to kick her in the torso, sending her flying back.

She skidded along the dirt for a bit before using her sword to completely halt her movement. Once she stopped, she rubbed her stomach, right where I kicked her. I knew that wouldn't be enough to take her out, or even hurt her really. In fact, she just looked mostly confused by the hit.

That's probably not a good thing…

"Damn it you stupid midget, snap out of it!" I shouted, but rather than cease her attacks, it only seemed to spur her on, her face taking on an angry scowl. That may have been a mistake.

Not like it's my fault she's upset about her height. Doesn't she know guys like a girl who's fun sized?

I ducked under a heavy swing, my nonexistent hair being ruffled from the force. "Guess not," I mumbled, as I started to dodge her attacks as best as I could. But after a bit, I couldn't help but be a bit confused.

If this really was Hiyori, how was I keeping up? She was way higher level than me, has way higher stats, and has way more experience. I shouldn't realistically stand a chance. Was it because of that trance-like state she was in, or was there something else going on?

I parried another attack, punching her in her face right after. But like before, she barely felt it. And I don't think it's because of her state of mind either. Her Hp barely moved.

Damn, at this rate, Shadow would definitely meet his end before I could knock her out. Should I try and defeat the Blue Ogre first? Dealing with both of them at the same time would be pretty difficult, but at least I wouldn't have to worry about getting riddled with holes.

Or Hiyori being riddled with holes.

Shit, what was I supposed to do? What was the best course of action? Not like this was a normal game where I'd get a do over if I made a bad choice. If I Game Over, that's it, no second chances.

But it seemed like my choice would be made for me. While I tried not to get cut in half by Hiyori, the Blue Ogre managed to land a hit on Shadow. The initial blow didn't kill him, but the follow up stomp to the face sure did. He disappeared in a puff of black miasma.

The Blue Ogre roared in triumph. I couldn't blame poor Shadow, he did pretty good all things considered. The Boss's Hp was down to about 40%, meaning Shadow took off about 6% during his battle with him.

But unfortunately, that meant the big blue bitch was able to focus his entire attention on me. Or to be more specific, on Hiyori. He raised Isabella up, aiming it at the unaware girl who was still trying to kill me. The Minigun whirred to life, and I only had a split second to decide what to do.

Seeing Hiyori's big ass cleaver of a sword coming at me gave me an idea. First, I parried, knocking her off balance a bit. Next, instead of punching or kicking her, I grabbed her around the waist, pulling her flush against my chest. Finally, I brought out the boulder from my Inventory, the one that wasn't destroyed, using it as a shield against the onslaught of bullets.

It was hard to describe what it sounded like. Hundreds upon hundreds of bullets ricocheting off the boulder. The sounds of miniature explosions ringing out every time the ogre propelled one in my direction. It was like I was in a war zone.

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No wonder soldiers developed tinnitus.

But more than that, there was a lithe, squirming figure trying to get out of my grasp. The only reason she wasn't able to was because of the awkward position. With her pressed against me like she was, she couldn't get the leverage needed to escape or cut me in half.

The worst part was, I couldn't even enjoy it! Her tiny body, squirming helpless against my own. Not with the hailstorm of bullets attempting to take my head off. Or whatever part of my body they could hit.

"Hiyori, will you stop that!" I yelled over the din of gunfire. But she wasn't listening, and it was becoming increasingly difficult to hold her down. But if I let go, one of us would be turned into a shish kebab, and on the off chance this really was her, I couldn't let that happen.

I needed to do something to distract her. Something that would force her to stop struggling against me, whether she wanted to or not.

…That doesn't sound right.

Whatever! Now's not the time to be thinking about that. My time was much better spent on figuring out what to do.

Looking down at the snarling, young-looking woman in my arms, I got an idea. I couldn't say it was a particularly good one, but I didn't have many options. There was nothing in my Inventory that would help, nor would any of my Skills or Abilities.

"Sorry about this," I said, before grabbing her by the back of the head and kissing her. I felt her go stiff in my arms, feeling less like a wriggling worm and more like a plank of wood.

"Soft," was my first thought as my lips pressed against hers. It was kind of hard to imagine someone like Hiyori having such silky soft, pouty lips, but here we are. I felt myself draw her in closer, if that was even possible.

For a moment, she didn't do anything. She just sat there, completely still. It was really awkward, not gonna lie, kissing someone who wasn't kissing back. Degenerate in a way I wasn't entirely comfortable with. Made me feel like I slipped something into her drink.

But to my relief, she actually started to kiss me back. Slowly and timidly, but with a rising enthusiasm. Not only that, but she also dropped her sword as well. After several blissful seconds of this, we parted, the need for air becoming too great.

Not sure why I didn't just breathe through my nose, but whatever. Looking down at the cute, flushed and out of breath Hiyori, I vowed that this would not be the last time I saw that face.

But more to the point, my plan worked. I'm sure there was a kick to my balls coming in my future, but for now, I was satisfied. Well, actually, I was extremely frustrated, but for a completely different reason.

I placed the dazed Hiyori against the rock, and yeeted her sword into my Inventory. Without that, the amount of danger she presented was drastically cut in half. I know she was pretty good at Hakuda, but that was still far less of a concern than a big ass sword.

At least, I hope.

At that point I noticed the sound of gunfire had stopped. Looking out past the rock, I could see the Blue Ogre holding a Minigun with a bright red barrel. Looks like Isabella couldn't take the heat.

This was my chance! With his weapon out of commission for a bit, it gave me the perfect opportunity to do some damage. But first…

Hiyori gasped as she was wrapped up. She looked down, only to see herself tied up by a metal chain. "Sorry about that, but I can't have you running off and getting hurt. So be a good girl and wait for me to get back," I said to her. She glared at me and began to thrash, but luckily the Kusarigama held true.

However, I didn't know how long that would last. She packed a whole lot of strength into that tiny body of hers. Summoning Shadow, I ordered him to watch over and protect her. Hopefully, he could stop her from doing anything stupid if the need arose.

Giving her one last look, I used Shadow Strike to attack the Blue Ogre, coming out of the shadow to his side. Zannkimaru sped towards his arm, the same one I hit earlier, hitting tight above the scar left behind.

He roared in pain at the surprise attack, his arm falling limply to the side. His Hp was about 35% now, so as long as there were no more surprises, it shouldn't take me too long to make him good and dead.

So of course, the first thing that he did surprised me. I expected him to swing that big ass gun of his and try to either batter me away or turn me into a pancake. But as it turns out, he had other plans.

He breathed in deep, and my eyes widened. I knew exactly what he was about to do. And considering what happened to boulder #1, I did not want that happening to me.

Now, I could dodge. Roll right under him and slice into both cheeks from behind. And while that certainly appealed to me, there was something that tickled my fancy even more.

Turning his attack against him.

Right as he opened his mouth to blast me with that icy breath of his, I jumped up, fist extended, and gave him an uppercut with all of my Strength, using Power Punch for good measure.

His jaw closed shut with a thunderous clap, and his teeth shattered from the impact. But that wasn't the only thing that happened. Since he was in the middle of an attack, he couldn't just stop it, meaning the blast had nowhere to go, causing an icy explosion in his mouth.

While under normal circumstances he was Immune to ice damage, that didn't seem to apply here. He staggered back a bit, letting out a groan from a now nearly toothless mouth, before falling onto his back.

With a grin I ran towards him, jumping in the air and bringing my sword down, stabbing him in the chest. I was aiming for his heart, but it seems like I missed. He let out another pain filled bellow, before backhanding me away.

Just like the Red Ogre before him.

-132 Hp

Thankfully, he wasn't as strong as his brother, so that didn't do nearly as much damage. Still, I did not appreciate it! But more than that, for the second time now my sword has gotten stuck inside one of these assholes.

Well, at least it wasn't in their asshole. Not sure I'd want it back if that were the case.

The two of us stood up at the same time, glaring at one another. He pointed his big ass gun at me, and I sprinted away, hoping to stay ahead of the lead shower. I was clean enough at the moment, thank you very much.

I opened my Inventory and went to pull out the Kusarigama, when I noticed something strange. There, in one of the boxes, was Zannkimaru, just as innocent as can be. But that didn't make any sense.

Looking back at the ogre and ignoring the whirring of the gun, I saw my precious blade still lodged in his chest. So where did this one come from? Unfortunately, I didn't have time to think about it, as the Blue Ogre opened fire.

"Fuck it!" I yelled, grabbing the sword from my Inventory and using Shadow Strike to appear from the shadow behind him. My blade flashed out, aiming for them rosy cheeks of his, when, to my immense surprise, a metallic clang rang out.

You know, I figured he had glutes as hard as steel, but this is ridiculous.

Turns out, him being smarter than his brother was also not just flavor text. It appears as if he learned how my move works and predicted where I was going to attack from, blocking my strike with the barrel of the Minigun.

"Well… shit," I said, before he spartan kicked me across the field.

-195 Hp

I let out a cry of pain, a manly one mind you, as I went tumbling across the frigid landscape. I eventually came to a stop, groaning in pain. Still better than being hit by his brother.

I rose to one knee, glaring at the Blue Ogre for all I was worth, when that glare turned into panic. An icy blue beam was racing towards me! I braced for the damage as best I could, crossing my arms in front of me, but while I could feel the temperature drop, not much else happened.

Looking around me, I discovered just what the sneaky bastard was up to. Giant pillars of ice surrounded me, caging me in. He cut off all avenues of retreat. I was officially a fish in a barrel.

I'm sorry Samantha, I didn't mean to cheat on you!

I looked back at the one-eyed ogre who was giving me a wicked grin, which just made him look dumb without his teeth. His gun was aimed right at me, and there was basically nothing I could do about it. I couldn't jump over the ice, it was too tall, and I didn't have another boulder to block the bullets until his gun overheated.

I need more boulders, that's my take away from this. Thousands and thousands of boulders to create an impenetrable defense and to bury my enemies with.

I could lament my boulderless self all I wanted, but my only way to retreat was forward, through a storm of lead. And that was a terrible plan, unless…

"Hey Sarah, does Deflect work on bullets," I asked quickly, holding up my sword in a ready stance. I had an idea, one just crazy enough it might actually work. Or kill me, there really was no in between here.

Um, theoretically it should.

"Good enough for me," I said. I opened up my Inventory again and threw the rigged treasure chest near the frozen wall. Now all I had to do was block all the incoming bullets, wait until I got a Critical Deflect and send it into the bomb, blowing it up along with the wall, allowing me to escape the kill zone he set up.

Why he didn't just freeze me I have no idea. I'd be pretty much dead if he had. Maybe he just wanted to prove what a smarty pants he is by trapping me like this, or maybe this was an act of cruelty on his part. I don't know, and I don't care. All I know is that this is not where my story ends.

I heard the first shot echo out almost in slow motion, which was probably a good thing. I immediately used Deflect, and to my immense relief, it actually worked. The bullet hit my sword with a twang and went flying into the ice pillars around me.

Not a Critical, but that did make me realize I didn't necessarily need one. However, it still relied on luck, which I'm not a fan of.

The next bullets came screaming towards me and I kept Deflecting them. It kind of made me feel like Obi-Wan. What was the quote again? "He could walk through a hornets nest of blaster fire and come out unscathed." Something like that?

Well that's how I felt at the moment. Bullet after bullet came streaking towards me, each one determined to be the one that kills me. Luckily for me, his aim wasn't the best. Whether that was due to the inaccuracy of the weapon itself, or because I took out one of his eyes, throwing off his depth perception, I don't know. Hell, it could be both.

Let's put this into perspective, shall we? His gun fired at a rate of about six rounds per second. Out of those six, about two of them were actual threats to my person. That means I had to Deflect two bullets per second.

Now, Deflect costs 10 Stamina per Deflection, which on the face of it, sounds like it wasn't a lot. Normally, this would be correct, but just like facing down an endless horde of enemies, Deflecting 2 bullets a second, which cost 20 Stamina a second, added up pretty damn quick.

It means I only had about 30 seconds until I ran out. Sixty bullets and thirty seconds, that was all that stood between me and defeat. If I couldn't hit the bomb before then, I was toast.

The seconds ticked by, each one seemingly slower than the last, prolonging my desperation. Ten seconds… Then twenty… It was looking like I was screwed.

Until I managed to actually Crit one of the bullets, deflecting it into the treasure chest. The rigged box went up with a staggering boom, the blast sending me hurtling backwards, slamming against the icy wall behind me.

-68 Hp

-100 Hp

-24 Hp

But that wasn't the only damage I sustained. One of the bullets managed to get lucky and hit me in the leg, which did not feel good. The damn Minigun was probably a .50 Cal. Luckily it only managed to graze me, or I would be finding out for sure if I could regrow a limb.

The ice wall to my right collapsed, or at least part of it did, providing me with cover. I heard the bullets stop coming, and I sighed in relief. At the very least I bought myself some time to come up with another plan.

Honestly, the best idea might be to wait until Shadow Strike-wait! Shadow! That's it! That adorable little rascal was still out there, guarding Hiyori. If I can get him to attack and help distract him, that should ensure that I could land my attack this time.

But how to do it?

"Hey Sarah? Can you possess Shadow somehow? Or give him orders?" I asked, as the bullets started up again. Guess he didn't want to wait for me to formulate a plan. I could feel the cool spray of ice cold water hit my face as the bullets shredded the frosty rubble in front of me.

Huh, that's an interesting idea. Too bad he just died.

"Wait, what?" I asked in confusion. I checked the Ability and sure enough, there was no current Shadow Duplicate on the field. What happened to him? Don't tell me…

I heard a rage filled scream, a decidedly feminine one, ringing out across the battlefield. I could just barely make out the image of Hiyori, jumping over the boulder and high into the air.

Great, just what I needed. Don't I have enough on my plate?

However, something happened that I did not expect, and that was her charging at the Blue Ogre, twirling the Kusarigama I used to tie her up like she was an expert. The Blue Ogre turned his attention towards her, opening fire, but she managed to deflect all the bullets with the rapid spinning of the chained weapon.

I got to learn how to do that.

Once she got close enough, she darted to the right, throwing the chain out and wrapping it around his leg, tripping him. I let out a cheer, but it was short lived. You see, as he was falling, the Blue Ogre never stopped firing his gun, and one of the bullets managed to hit Hiyori right in her stomach.

"No!" I yelled out as Hiyori became see through. She vomited up a copious amount of blood before collapsing onto the pile of viscera behind her.

I couldn't believe it. Was Hiyori really… I mean she couldn't be, could she…

I saw red, and I was barely cognizant of the System informing me of the Enraged Status I was under. Not like it would have changed what happened next.

The cooldown for Shadow Strike ended, and I immediately teleported towards the ogre who was just starting to get to his feet. I appeared to his left, sword flashing out faster than ever, hitting his wrist and cutting off his hand.

But I wasn't done. His roars of agony only spurring on my bloodlust. I jumped towards him, grabbing my other sword and ripping it out of his body. As soon as I hit the ground again, I spun in an arc, using Power Slash with both swords, cutting into his stomach, freeing his guts from their fleshy prison.

He did his best to hold them in, but his best wasn't good enough. His precious Isabella hit the ground with a thud, along with his intestines, as he staggered backwards before collapsing on his back once more, moaning pitifully.

I climbed on top of him, taking great pleasure in his cries of pain as I stomped on his stomach, unable to feel the pain of my own wounds as I did so. It was no less than he deserved.

He tried to take a swing at me with his one good hand, but I blocked it using my left hand. He was far too weak at this point to be much of a threat. But that didn't stop me from exacting my revenge.

Using Power Slash once more, I cut off his other hand, his torment music to my ears. His arm slumped against the ground as the last of his strength left him. It was all he could do to keep breathing. But that wouldn't last much longer.

I walked up his body until I was staring him in the eye. He glared at me as much as he could, but his hate had nothing on the rage I felt. I raised my swords up, arms crossed over my chest and blades pointing towards the sky.

"This is for Hiyori," I muttered, before using Power Slash for the last time. Both Zannkimaru's hit true, slicing open his neck and spraying me with blood once more. The life drained from The Blue Ogre's eye, but I couldn't revel in my victory.

I turned back to the still, unmoving form of Hiyori. I may have won the battle, but I lost the war.

A pyrrhic victory at its finest.