I have made many a mistake in my day. From thinking a possum would make a good pet, to thinking Disney wouldn't totally fuck up Star Wars. Yes, many mistakes have I made, but none so great as to piss off the great and powerful loli.

"You can't hide forever! And when I find you, you'll wish you were dead!"

That's her now. Hunting my ass down through this abandoned warehouse district. I can feel her bloodlust from here. I'm honestly a bit surprised I didn't lose any Affection with her. Either she likes the thought of me being her boy toy, or she is so blindingly angry it hasn't registered yet.

The odds were about 50/50.

Luckily I managed to escape her wrath before she could pin me down. This body of hers was fast, thankfully. Faster than my own at any rate. Not to mention it was small, so hiding was made much easier as well.

I am surprised she hasn't been able to locate me by sensing my Reiryoku. I'm pretty sure that's a thing people can do. Maybe her anger blocked that ability as well?

Her voice became distant as she searched in the wrong direction. I crawled out of the prickly bush I was hiding in, dusting myself off and picking leaves out of my hair. Man that stuff was an inconvenience. Makes me glad I'm bald.

Ok, now I just needed to stay under her radar until she either calmed the hell down or the Visoreds showed up to see what was going on.

Actually, that's a good point. Where the hell are they? That one chick, Mashiro I think, ran off screaming about Hiyori bringing home a man. Shouldn't they check something like that out, or did they not believe her.

Wouldn't surprise me. She doesn't seem like the type to bring a random guy she just met to her place. Though they wouldn't know she just met me. Or maybe they didn't think she could bring someone home at all?

Kinda messed up if that was the case. Hiyori was cute, so she shouldn't have any problem with guys. Sure her personality could use some work, but nobody gives a damn about that if it's just a one night stand.

But for some reason, the thought of her bringing random guys home irritated me. That's a realization better left for when I'm not in imminent danger.

I carefully started walking through the area, doing my best to not make a sound. Her body was light, very light, so it was much easier than in my own body. A mediocre silver lining is still a silver lining, and I'll take what I can get.

Peeking out from behind a corner, I searched for my predator. Nothing, but everything was eerily quiet. I didn't think she had the capacity for silence. You learn something new everyday.

But her discovering the ability to shut up did not bode well for me. It did not bode well at all. The only reason I've been able to avoid discovery so far was my ability to know where she was at all times.

With that gone…

No get a grip! You're still faster than her, so even if she does find you, you can run away. So there's nothing to worry about, nothing at all.

So then why am I sweating so much?

Can down… Deep breaths, that right… deep… in and out…

"Hello there," said a deep masculine voice above me. I let out a girlish squeak, which was ok because I currently was a girl. I would never make that sound in my own body, not in a million years!

Come to think of it, when people swap bodies in anime and stuff, don't they normally retain their own voices? So why didn't we? I know it doesn't make any sense, considering it's the soul that was swapped, which doesn't affect the vocal cords at all, but still!

Looking up I spot a familiar black cat. Wasn't that Yoruichi? What the hell was she doing here? And why did she have to be a cat? Gimme good 'ol Flash Goddess any day.

Emphasis on the flashing part.

"Ah, General Kenobi. Fancy meeting you here," I snarked. Don't look at me like that. I couldn't help myself, alright!

"Who?" she asked, tilting her head. She stared at me with her big, amber eyes, seemingly intrigued by my rugged… loliness.

Fuck, my first meeting with her and it wasn't even in my own body! I sure hope those higher being assholes are enjoying the show!

"You know, Star Wars… Obi-Wan… Nothing?" I asked, staring at the still confused feline. Maybe they didn't have Star Wars in this universe. If not, I would introduce it to the world and make millions!

And no fucking Disney!

"Hm… Never heard of it. But shouldn't you be a bit more surprised? I am a talking cat you know," she said, leaping down from the wall she was sitting on and walking toward me.

That was her issue? I suppose it makes sense, she likely doesn't know who I am…

Wait, no that's not right. She knows exactly who Hiyori is, so she shouldn't be speaking like she doesn't know who I am. That means she knows I'm not actually Hiyori. And that also means she was likely watching the whole time!

…Fuck.

"Uh, yeah. I mean, wow! Oh my gosh, a talking kitty! How is this possible?" I faked, making my voice higher than it needed to be. I knew it and she knew it, but I couldn't let her know how much I knew. Assassin lady is an assassin.

+1 Affection to Yoruichi Shihouin (1/100)

"That's better," she mocked, stopping and staring up at me. I couldn't help but get nervous with the way she was looking at me. This must be what the gazelle feels like when it's been trapped by a lion.

I may have been fast enough to evade Hiyori, so long as she was in my body, but there wasn't a snowball's chance in hell of me escaping Yoruichi. Unless hell is actually cold, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't, though, I don't remember the movie all that well.

"My name is Yoruichi," she said, after staring me down. So that's what we're doing now, huh? Introductions? Sure, why not.

"Uh, hey. I'm the loli formerly known as Ushio. Nice to meet you I guess," I said. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to shake her paw or not, so I just stood there like a jackass.

"Ushio, huh? Weird name for a girl," she said amused.

"I could say the same about Yoruichi for a guy," I remarked back. She smirked at that, which was weird coming from a cat. Until this point, I wasn't aware that cats could smirk.

You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.

That's two things I've learned today.

+1 Affection to Yoruichi Shihouin (2/100)

"You asshole! Where are you!" shouted Hiyori, much closer than I was comfortable with. I looked toward the direction her voice came from, along with Yoruichi. But unlike me, she didn't seem worried in the slightest. I mean, why would she be? She's not the one being hunted.

You know, it's ironic that in this game of cat and mouse with Hiyori, I was found by an actual cat. Er… catgirl? Not sure about that, and one is definitely better than the other.

"So, mind telling me how you made that young man so angry," she asked, looking back at me with amusement in her eyes. It's a good thing she's so sexy. I mean, not right now, because you know, she's a cat.

And I'm not into that.

"That's a not-so-long and yet somehow complicated story," I said, making her raise her eye at me. They say curiosity killed the cat, but I doubt it ever tried with her.

"Oh, do tell," she purred. That would be much better if the voice wasn't so deep and manly. It was making me feel confused feelings and I don't like that.

Not to mention I'm 90% sure she knows exactly what happened and is just fucking with me. I know cats like to play with their food and all, but come on!

"Ok, so to put it simply, I had a very near death experience, ended up as a ghost thing, and somehow wound up in her body while she was having an out of body experience of her own. And while in said lady's body, I may have helped myself to a grope or two. Unintentionally, of course."

"Of course."

"And she saw me do that, which angered her greatly. When she discovered I did not know how to exit her body, she entered mine in a weird revenge scheme."

"Understandable, yes."

"And so she brought me here to get help from her friends, and when one showed up, I may have insinuated that she brought home a man to seek carnal pleasure with. And she took exception to that."

"Well that is quite the story. How did you end up nearly dead in the first place?"

"Oh, that…" I said, while rubbing my silky, blonde hair. "Uh, I ate something that didn't agree with me."

"Oh, is that right? A little food poisoning taking out a man with such a virile body? Must have been quite the dish," she said. Not gonna lie, felt a little tingle go down my spine at her complimenting my physique like that.

Now I just need to get back to my virile body, and I'd be golden.

"You could say that. I don't suppose you know a way to get me back into my own body?" I asked with hope shining in my eyes. But alas, my hope was dashed by a sexy cat girl.

"I'm afraid not. But you have more important things to worry about anyway," she claimed, jumping back onto the wall. Now it was my turn to be confused.

"What could be more important than getting back to my own body?"

"There you are," I heard a voice growl from my left. A very familiar voice. Turning slowly, with fear reaching deep into my soul, I saw none other than myself, piloted by an angry woman, cracking her knuckles.

"I suggest you run," commented Yoruichi, almost flippantly. She was enjoying this way too much.

"Good idea," I said, before taking her suggestion and running like a bat outta hell.

"Damn you, stay still and die with dignity!" shouted Hiyori.

"Never!" I shouted back.

And like that the chase was on. It was a good thing she couldn't activate my Skills, otherwise, she may have been able to catch up to me. But for some reason, I was unable to get away. No matter how far or how fast, she stayed the same distance.

How was that possible? Did she learn how to use my Skill, or was this an angry woman thing? Not sure which one I prefer, to be honest.

But seeing as there is no escape for me, I decided to take my chances and hide inside a building. I quickly ran inside the closest one. Thankfully, it was nice and dark, with plenty of random things for me to hide behind.

I immediately went for the first thing I could see, which just so happened to be a large metal container. I kneeled down behind it, thankful for my currently small body, though I could have done without the bright, blonde hair. That would not help me hide, not at all.

Less than ten seconds later, I heard her enter. More than that, I could see her shadow stretching across the floor as she stood in the entrance of the building. That was some horror movie level shit right there.

Hiyori breathed deeply and angrily as she stared into the room. She sounded like an angry bull, which likely wasn't far from the truth. She was already seeing red, and if she saw me, she would absolutely charge.

So I just needed to remain hidden. She couldn't see me from where she was, and as long as I kept my breathing under control, she shouldn't find me. The game of cat and mouse has entered its second stage, hide and seek.

"You can't get away, so just come out already!" she shouted. But of course, I didn't answer, which only fueled the fire. Well, if I was going to get burned, might as well make it worth it.

"Fine. If that's the way you want to do it," she growled, closing the door behind her, making the room significantly darker. She then picked up a large, steel crate, much like the one I was hiding behind, and placed it in front of the door.

Which was unfortunate, as the door opened inward, not outward. And there was no way I'd be able to move that thing, at least not quietly. Come to think of it, how the hell did she do that? She was in my body, and I'm almost positive I wouldn't be able to pick that thing up.

Was she using Reiryoku? She must have been, it was the only thing I could think of. Beside her feminine fury that is. Maybe it was a combination of both?

Man I need to figure out how to use that. Reiryoku I mean, not feminine fury. Although, I was in a woman's body now, so maybe…

No, better not think about it. Or about how she shouldn't have access to it if she was in my own body. Or did such power defy the laws of this universe? And if she could use that, did I still have access to Big Dick Energy?

It didn't matter. What did matter is that she was going to murder me to death. She said it herself, she can get a new body, most likely from Kisuke Urahara. But I wasn't going to go out without a fight.

And by fight, I mean fleeing for my life. I like my life, and I didn't want the angry loli to end it. I just needed to find another way out, and Bob's your uncle, I'm home free.

Sort of. I mean, I still need to get out of her body, get her out of my body, get back into my own body, and then flee to Mexico. After that, then I'm home free.

I heard her footsteps as she began her search in earnest. "Come out, come out, wherever you are," she sang, which sounded horrible with my voice. Not because my voice is bad or anything, I have the voice of a bass angel. No, it was horrible because it was just plain creepy.

Ok, the footsteps were getting closer now. Too close, actually, I needed to move. Quietly, I needed to move quietly. Unfortunately, I seem to lack the Stealth Skill. Upon my attempt to sneak around the angry lady, I doth kicked a fucking can.

Note to self, if I survive, get the Stealth Skill.

And it was loud. Like listening to a car crash in surround sound. I winced every time it bounced on the floor. But eventually, it stopped and there was blissful silence.

Silence that didn't last too long. For within a second, there she was, a maniacal, twisted grin on her face. Which was actually my face. I didn't even know I could make that face! I didn't want to know I could make that face!

Stop making that face!

"There you are. There's no escape now. I hope you're ready for what comes next," she said, taking large, thundering footsteps towards me. I crawled away from her, looking for a way to escape.

But alas, there was none. Soon enough, my back was against the wall. Literally. I stared at the offending obstacle with horror. No way backwards, the left and right cut off by crates of random shit. The only way was forward, but that was the most impassable of them all.

"Ah, poor little baby. Looks like your time is up. It was fun while it lasted, but it's time to end this. It's too bad about my Gigai, but I can get a new one," she said, taking her sweet time to reach me, wanting to extend the fear she could see on my face.

Which was her face, technically. I wonder if that makes her a masochist?

I could be very scary when I want to. Someone like Hiyori should not have access to someone with a body my size. Her intimidation check was impossible to fail inside it.

"Now Hiyori, why don't we talk about this? Like adults, just you and me, what do you say?" I asked.

"What's there to talk about? You humiliated me, and now, you have to pay," she said in a sickly sweet tone of voice.

"How did I humiliate you?" I said, confused. That seemed to be the wrong thing to say, as her face turned beat red.

"You told her you're my boy toy!? As if a baldy like you would ever be my boyfriend!" she shouted. You know, I figured that was it, but this was taking it a bit too far.

"Seriously? You're going to commit murder upon my fragile person over a joke? Don't you think that's a little extreme?" I asked.

"Murder? I'm not sure what you mean. I'm just going to help you get out of my body, that's all," she said, happily. My mind was brought back to her saying they had a way to remove souls from bodies.

Pretty sure this isn't what she meant back then. But it's sure what she meant now.

"Oh, well that's very kind of you, but why don't we get a second opinion," I suggested nervously.

"I don't need one," she said.

Ok, there was no convincing her, I needed to find some way to escape. But how? Looking around, I managed to see something along the ground. A rock. A simple rick the size of my fist. Or Hiyori's fist anyway.

You might be wondering how that could help. But I knew. There was one way, ancient and forbidden, but did I dare use it? Upon my own flesh no less?

Looking at her face… Yes, I must, for there was no other way. My soul may be cursed for all eternity, but I will do what I must to survive.

Forgive me, my son…