The pain in my mouth was intense. Like hornets and fire ants made babies and I thought it was a good idea to shove them into my mouth. I half expected to be able to breathe fire, considering that's what my mouth felt like.
I could feel myself start to sweat, my face turning red, and every breath felt like I was inhaling burning hot sand. Karin said it was supposed to be spicy, and she wasn't wrong.
If I thought the room was spinning before, it was nothing compared to now. I wasn't sure where one person began and the other one ended. It looked like Karin and Yuzu fused into one, with both heads sharing a body.
Ichigo looked like his hair was on fire, and I'm almost positive I saw a unicorn standing behind him. But instead of the pure white steed in normal depictions, this one was black instead, and bleeding from its nose. It also looked like it had razor sharp teeth.
I really hoped that was part of the hallucination, and it wasn't really there. You could never know with anime, and it could have been a weird ass Hollow for all I know. But since it didn't have a mask, I'm banking on the first option.
Not only that, but the spinning of my head also brought forth a swirling vortex of colors, combining to form a rainbow of utter madness. The purple from the poisonous miasma spewing from the pot combined with the colors of the poster of Masaki Kurosaki and Ichigo's bright and fiery hair, created a symphony of splendor for the eyes.
But there was something even better. The best part of this whole experience had to be Tatsuki. Or should I saw, both Tatsuki's, because there were two of them now. And they were both looking at me in concern.
"Hey Ushio, are you ok?" asked the one on the left. I turned to face that one more directly and noticed something peculiar. Her clothes seem to be melting. Was it from the fire, or was the mist coming from the pot acidic?
Aw, who cares. All that mattered to me at this point was the amount of succulent flesh being exposed. If I was in my right mind, I might have been a bit more gentlemanly about the whole thing, but alas, I was not.
"Yeah… yeah, I'm good. Like, so, so good," I mentioned, staring right at her chest. At this point her shirt was little more than tatters, and I could see the outline of her lacey undergarments. And even that was starting to melt.
Close, it was so close. Soon, there would be nothing left, and I would glimpse the perky gates of nirvana. Was I drooling? It felt like I was drooling.
"Are you sure?" asked the one on the right, as the last of her clothing melted away. But just as I was about to see the good stuff, the colorful swirls from before surrounded her, blocking my sight.
"Hey! That's not fair!" I shouted, much to everyone's confusion. It was just getting good, damn it!
"What's not fair?" asked Karin. I turned to her, and thankfully, her clothes seemed to be just fine. So were Yuzu's and Ichigo's. It was only Tatsuki that was having the wardrobe malfunction. Thank god, that was not something I wanted to see.
But her voice did manage to snap me out of the horny, hallucinogenic stupor I was in. I shook my head to clear my thoughts, the world coming back into focus. Though I would miss the pair of nearly naked Tatsuki's, it was probably for the best, lest I do something stupid I couldn't take back.
Geez, what the hell was that? Hey System, mind giving me an explanation. You know, if it isn't too much trouble?
You were tripping balls.
Yeah I know that! But what does that have to do with being poisoned?
Hmm, it seems like there were other effects that were unaccounted for. How interesting.
Well, I'm glad you're so entertained. Knowing that really warms my cockles. Why don't you tell me what poison is actually supposed to do?
Fine, fine, if you insist.
Poison
Reduce Hp by 1 point every 15 seconds.
While under the Poison Status, you cannot recover Hp by normal means.
Poison remains until it is either cured or time runs out.
Time remaining: 60 Minutes
*Note*
Some poisons may have other effects, such as hallucinations.
Ok, so it was somewhat similar to Bleeding; makes sense. But wait, if it reduces my Hp by 1 point every 15 seconds, and I only have around 200 left, then that means…
You are screwed.
Well shit, that ain't good. In fact, it was very bad. And I don't mean just for me either. When Karin found out I was dead from food poisoning, how would that affect her? Poorly, I imagine. Enough to traumatize her forever.
Hand on, when the Quest gets cleared, I get Poison Resistance, right? Maybe that will help me to not die. That was my only hope at this point.
It will not be enough.
Don't take away my only hope you asshole! It's all I got!
It was at this time I realized everyone was still staring at me in various degrees of concern. Right, I forgot about where I was for a second. What was I doing? Oh right, tripping balls.
"It's uh, nothing Karin, don't worry about it," I said, trying to come off as believable as I could. Not sure it worked though.
"If you say so," she said, sounding unconvinced.
"I'm fine, really. The curry was just a tad spicy is all," I reassured. Or tried to at any rate. I heard somebody's labored breathing before realizing it was mine. Well that can't be good.
Also my stomach. My god it was in pain. And here I thought the spicy taste going in was painful, it didn't hold a candle to this. I could only imagine what it would feel like coming out. Maybe it was a good thing I would be dead before that happens?
Just a thought.
"S-so, it wasn't bad then?" asked Karin in a hopeful voice. Damn it, how was I supposed to tell her the truth now? And even if I did, would that be at all helpful? I mean, she made this abomination with Yuzu's guidance. What chance did she have on her own?
Or did she do everything she could to spite whatever advice Yuzu gave her in order to prove she could, in fact, cook? I have no idea, but I needed to find some way to steer her clear from the kitchen.
"Well, I'd say it wasn't bad for your first attempt," I started, trying to keep whatever was inside of me on the inside. But I could feel it, stirring beneath the surface, ready to burst. I felt like I did a good job of keeping the stutter from my voice.
"Like I said, it was a tad on the spicy side, and the meat was a bit tough, but I'm sure you'll get better if you keep trying. You know what they say, practice makes perfect after all," I finished.
The others looked panicked by my statement, most likely questioning my sanity. Not that I could blame them, the damn pot was still producing the thick mist and moaning. It was just a step away from being classified as a biological weapon.
+1 Affection to Karin Kurosaki (28/100)
Karin released the breath she was holding as she listened to my critique. "I'm glad. See Yuzu! I told you I can cook," she told her sister in a haughty voice.
Yuzu sighed in response, as she could clearly see the deadly cocktail her sister made, "Yeah, yeah, you win. Good job Karin."
I swear I could hear sarcasm in her voice. It sounded a bit strange, coming from the overly kind girl, but at the same time, I couldn't help the feeling of pride I felt upon hearing it. They grow up so fast.
"So does anyone else want to try some?" she asked innocently. Everyone's eyes widened in horror at the question. After seeing my reaction and looking at the aura it gave off, they wanted nothing to do with it.
Cowards, the lot of them. Except for Yuzu, she gets a free pass. But the others…
Well, I guess I can save them.
"I thought you made this just for me," I said, forcing myself to take another bite, as the others watched in alarm. Can't blame them, the first bite nearly took me out, and it was doing all it could to finish the job.
Hang on, taking another bite isn't going to make the poison worse is it? This isn't going by Pokémon rules is it, where I get hit with Toxic and the damage increases every turn? I hope not, because normal poisoning already has me knocking on death's door.
Well too late now. And the burning's back. Hooray! Just what I wanted to feel, fire ants in my mouth. But if I'm lucky, Tatsuki and her twin might strip for me again. Fingers crossed.
Karin stared at me for a moment, before she sent a smug look to Yuzu, " I see. Don't want to share it, huh?"
"Something like that," I said, hoping the twitch on my face couldn't be seen. I didn't come this far just to fail now!
+5 Affection to Tatsuki Arisawa (32/100)
+5 Affection to Yuzu Kurosaki (24/100)
+5 Affection to Ichigo Kurosaki (15/100)
Guess they appreciated me convincing Karin to not give them any. "But you know, I don't think I'll be able to finish it all tonight. Got anything I can use to take the rest home with me?" I asked.
Karin gained a thoughtful look, "Maybe. Hang on, I'll go check."
"Take your time," I said with a cheerful wave.
"You owe me," I said to the others as soon as she was out of sight. But before they could answer, I gripped the table hard, trying not to throw up. I started coughing, which only made the burning in my mouth even worse.
"H-hey, Ushio, you ok?" asked Tatsuki. I looked over at her and to my great joy, she once more had a twin. Only now, instead of their clothes melting off, they both looked like demonic versions of herself, complete with horns, wings, and a cute little tail.
It looks like Tatsuki just equipped her succubus skin. Sweet, I thought that was Dlc only.
"That depends, which one of you said that?" I asked, staring at what I thought was Tatsuki. I might have just been staring at a lamp, not entirely sure.
"Huh? What do you mean which one?" she asked in a panic. But I couldn't answer her, trying desperately as I was to keep the food down.
"Tsk, he doesn't look good. If he throws up, I'm not cleaning it," commented Ichigo. Gee thanks pal, your concern is very touching. Remind me to send him a postcard when I land in Soul Society.
"Ushio…" said Yuzu, worried.
After a minute or two, I was able to see clearly, which was kind of a disappointment. Tatsuki had just changed into a skintight, leather outfit, complete with whip. I would save that image for later…
Never mind for what!
"I'm good, I think," I said, finally getting my stomach and coughing under control. Looking around, I noticed Yuzu was missing. I refused to look in her or Ichigo's direction in fear of what the hallucination might show me, so I missed her leaving.
"Where'd Yuzu go?" I asked.
"To get you something to drink. And possibly to raid her dad's drug cabinet," responded Tatsuki. Oh, that's good, because I was absolutely parched. The feeling of ant/wasp hybrids stinging me was no longer there, but there was a lingering heat. Not to mention my tongue felt like it shouldn't fit inside my mouth.
"That's nice," I said, leaning back into my seat. Now all that was left was to watch my Hp slowly tick away to nothing. It was oddly peaceful. Not sure if that's because I already died once, or because I knew about the Soul Society.
Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.
Hang on, would I even go there after death? Considering the Game System and the fact that I'm some kind of transmigratory being, is the afterlife even on the table?
Hmm, you know what, I'm not sure. In a normal world you would most certainly perish, simple as that. But considering the importance of the afterlife in this one… It's difficult to say. How about you die and we can find out together?
Hell no!
Spoilsport.
Screw you! I ain't your damn guinea pig!
Damn game system was going to make me have an aneurism. So living on in the next world wasn't so assured huh? Guess I better make sure to try and live then.
"Um, Ushio?" said a quiet voice next to me. Looking towards it, I was greeted to the sight of Yuzu, holding a glass of water in her hand.
"Yeah? Is that for me?" I asked with a smile, though it may have been more of a grimace. She nodded her head, handing me the glass. I took it gratefully, thanking her as I did so, and proceeded to chug the whole thing.
Normally, water didn't have much of a taste, but this time it was especially bland. Must be the partial numbness I could feel in my mouth. Or my taste buds had burned off. Hopefully my bed could heal that.
Finishing the water with a contented sigh, I once again thanked Yuzu, who gave me a beaming smile, "It was no trouble at all."
I chuckled and gave her a head pat, which made her face turn crimson. She was too sweet for this world.
+1 Affection to Yuzu Kurosaki (25/100)
"Are you feeling better now?" she asked. I gave her a nod of reassurance, "Yeah, now that the burning in my mouth is gone." I didn't mention the poison that was slowly but surely killing me, figuring that would also kill the mood.
"I'm just glad you didn't throw up on the floor," commented Ichigo. I gave him a deadpan stare, "Your concern is most touching."
Yuzu's face was more disappointed than anything, "That wasn't very nice, Ichigo," she reprimanded. I don't know how Ichigo was still standing after that. He must have built an immunity to her pouty face. I'm not sure I could live with myself if I'd been on the receiving end of her disappointment.
"Well, at least you're not dead," commented Tatsuki. It seems she forgot about my earlier comment when I asked which one. That was good. But her statement now was pretty insensitive, even if she didn't know it.
Considering I was, in fact, dying at the moment.
"Just know, if I do die, I'm haunting you," I told her.
"You better not!" she yelled back.
"Why? Is there something you don't want me to see," I kept teasing.
"Everything!"
"Aw, you're breaking my heart Tatsuki."
Yuzu gave a little giggle at our back and forth while Ichigo just smirked.
It was about that time Karin made her return. She looked at Tatsuki and I bickering but chose to ignore it. "I couldn't find anything big enough to hold the curry and rice, so you can just take the pot home with you and return it when you're done," she said.
"Sounds good," I said with fake cheer. Frankly speaking, I didn't want that demonic brew anywhere near my home, even if I kept it in my Inventory. Hell, I didn't want to put it in there either on the off chance it could reach across the dimensional barrier and infect my other items.
Especially my bed. I don't want that to get cursed.
She then looked down to my plate, you know, the one I only took two bites from, and gave me an expectant stare. Well, shit. Hope the tap doesn't run dry, because I'm about to be a thirsty boy.
Several minutes and several pitchers of water later, I was finally finished with my meal. I stared up at the wall, nearly comatose. With how spicy the curry was, I'm a little surprised it hasn't burnt a hole in my intestines yet. Or maybe it had and I just can't feel it.
"I can't believe you finished it… What kind of stomach do you have?" asked Tatsuki, staring at me in wonder. I was in so much pain I couldn't even enjoy the fact that there were three of her now.
I tried to answer her, most likely sarcastically, but all that came out was a burp. Thankfully, my mouth and throat were both quite numb at this point, so I didn't feel a thing.
It was like I swallowed all the Novocain at the dentist.
"Guess you're tougher than you look," said Ichigo, sounding somewhat impressed. I choose to take that as a compliment.
"I'll go and clean your plate," said Yuzu, who picked up my plate like it was diseased, holding it as far away from herself as she could. Guess that just about wraps it up. Only problem is, I haven't received my Quest rewards yet, so that means I haven't completed it yet.
What else do I have to do? Swallow actual bees? Because if so, now would be the time to do it with my mouth numb and all.
With dinner finally done, or at least my dinner, and Ichigo ordering the rest a pizza, there was only one thing left to do…
Convince Karin to never cook again. Now I just needed to figure out how to make that happen. This conversation might very well be the thing that saves this world from ruin.
Actually, that gives me an idea, maybe I should try and give some of this stuff to Aizen. Shove it right down his smug hole. I don't know if it will take him out, but it's worth a shot.
But that's something for future me to figure out. Current me needs to find a way to prevent further tragedy. I just need to figure out how.
Looking around, discreetly, I tried to find some inspiration, something to help me guide her in another direction. But what?
That's when I spotted it, a picture of Karin with what looks like her and her soccer team. Come to think of it, didn't she mention something about them meeting up for practice to shake off the summer laziness?
…That's it! There's my in. Now, I just need to do this carefully. No pressure, it's just the fate of the world at stake, you can do this.
"So, Karin," I started, though the sound was a bit garbled, considering my slightly swollen lips. Did I mention it felt like the demonic offspring of fire ants and bees were playing house in my mouth? I felt like I have.
"Yeah? What's up?" she responded, sipping on some tea, waiting for the pizza to get here. Come to think of it, did she never taste test her own food? She must not have, or this dinner would have likely been at the hospital.
Or just in the other room, considering they run a clinic.
"How's soccer been going? You mentioned shaking off the summer rust, didn't you?" I asked. She seemed to perk up at the mention of her favorite sport, before she looked down in slight shame and regret.
Damn, I didn't think my question would have that effect. Now I feel like an asshole.
"Actually, I haven't been going. Cooking took up all my time," she said. Yeah, that made sense. I can only imagine what her first attempt must have looked like if this was her best. I figure I have a 50/50 shot of there being some kind of mutant blob roaming the sewers.
"I see. Did you at least enjoy cooking?" I asked next. She seemed to think about it for a moment, before responding. Tatsuki was looking at me like, 'What are you doing?'
'Trust me' I mouthed back. Not sure if she did, but she didn't say anything, which was good enough for me.
"Um, I don't know. I guess? It was a lot harder than I thought it would be," she admitted, though seemingly reluctantly. It was probably easier without Ichigo or Yuzu in the room. Tatsuki was like her big sister, so she didn't mind sharing things with her, and she didn't feel the need to put up as much of a front with her either, unlike with the others.
"That's true. Getting good at something takes a lot of effort. It's always best to focus on what you enjoy. That way, you're more likely to stick with it," I told her. She seemed to think about my words, mulling them over in her head. Tatsuki also seemed to catch on to my plan, her eyes sparkling with hope.
"That makes sense, I guess. So you're saying I should just stick with soccer then?" she asked, looking at me. I thought about how to say this, since I didn't want to hurt her feelings.
"I'm saying it's best to put all your focus on one thing. 'He who chases two rabbits catches none' after all. If you spend all your time in the kitchen, you won't be able to spend time with your friends playing soccer. Is that what you want?"
Karin thought about it, and it was time to bring it home, "Just picture yourself in the future. What would you rather be doing?"
She seemed to do just that, but for some reason, she started blushing. I think it was best for all parties involved, I don't know what she was imagining.
"I do miss playing soccer. And I was just doing this to prove to my sister that I could cook, and I did that. I guess I can leave the cooking to her from now on," she decided.
+5 Affection to Tatsuki Arisawa (37/100)
It was so hard not to snicker at the relieved face she was making. I'm sure I'll get similar gains to the others Affection score when they learn of it.
"There you go. And if you ever do decide to cook again, I'll be happy to taste test it for you," I lied. Right through my teeth. Now I just had to hope she never tried this again, but for some reason, I had my doubts.
You know, because of the whole, cosmic entertainment thing.
+1 Affection to Karin Kurosaki (29/100)
"You got it!" she said. With that, I heard the familiar ding sound indicating a System notification. Awesome, that means I completed the Quest! Normally I wouldn't accept the rewards in front of people, but I needed that Poison Resistance Skill, pronto.
-Quest Complete-
Eat up!
In order to prove to her sister that she can cook, Karin has decided to make a dish and use you as the guinea pig. And she expects a 5 Star review.
Reward
-Gain 100 Exp
-Gain 2 Vitality
-Gain 10 Affection with Karin
-Poison Resistance
Hidden Objective
Convince Karin to give up on her culinary pursuits. It sounds mean, but it's what's best for the world.
Hidden Reward
-Gain 150 Exp
-Silver Tongue Title
-Gain 3 Vitality
-Ability Upgrade Token
Silver Tongue
You are gifted in the art of gab. Increases the odds of convincing others with your words.
*Effect when Equipped*
Increases odds of people following your suggestions or believing you by 25%
Nice, I got a sweet Title that will help me bullshit my way across the universe. Nothing wrong with that, and I swear to use it only for good…
More importantly was Poison Resistance, which I could already feel working. My stomach was a whole 1% less in pain. I know it doesn't sound like much, but I was thrilled by it.
Poison Resistance (1/100)
Reduces the damage you take from Poison by 1%
Reduces the chance of becoming Poisoned by 1%
Now if it would just gain about 50 Levels or so, I might not die. But considering the only way to upgrade it was to get Poisoned, or possibly resist being Poisoned, I wasn't feeling very reassured.
Especially because my Hp was so low. Thank you Tatsuki…
But beyond that, it was time for me to hit the old dusty trail. I wanted to spend my final moments in peace and quiet, fighting off giant rats in my apartment. One final victory before finding out if Soul Society would accept my soul or not.
"Well it's been fun, but I think it's time for me to head out," I told them. Karin looked a bit disappointed, but Tatsuki seemed to understand. She knew I had a hot date with the toilet and the two of us were about to get very intimate.
"I guess it is getting a bit late. What about you Tatsuki?" she asked, staring at the older girl. She gave the young girl a grin, "I'm not leaving until I get some pizza!"
I chuckled at her enthusiasm, before standing up, wobbling slightly. The poison was making my muscles feel weaker. I hadn't noticed it much until I had to stand, but it was obvious now.
Shit… would I even be able to make it home at this rate? Actually, going to the hospital to get my stomach pumped was probably a better idea. If I get the contents out of my stomach, and they give me some medicine, I just might make it out of this alive.
"Don't do anything I wouldn't do," I told Tatsuki. She rolled her eyes at me, grin never leaving her face, "That seems like a pretty short list."
I chuckled as I started making my way to the door, pot of poison in my hands. God forbid I forget that and leave it here, "Goodnight, ladies. I'll see you tomorrow."
"See ya," said Tatsuki.
"Night," said Karin.
I heard the two of them start to talk about something, pretty sure it was about the new Karate lessons they'd be getting. Or, we'd be getting, I guess, depending on if I survive the night.
I bid goodnight to Yuzu from the kitchen entrance, and she responded in kind before returning to scrubbing the dirty plates in the sink. She was also wearing the same gas mask as Karin was earlier.
Best not to think about it.
Heading outside, I noticed none other than Ichigo standing there, seemingly talking to someone, trying to get them to go away. Probably a spirit of some kind, because I couldn't see anyone.
"Hey, what are you doing out here?" I asked, not bringing up the fact that he looked like he was talking to himself. He turned to look at me, small bits of concern hidden by his usual scowl. Damn, I must look like shit if even he was concerned about me.
Or maybe it was just the pot in my hand, that was still making noise. Pretty sure the curry inside was still trying to escape. Hopefully, it will die soon.
"Needed some fresh air," he responded. I nodded, fully understanding where he was coming from. The house smelled absolutely terrible, and I'm pretty sure the poster of their mother was even wrinkling her nose in disgust.
"Well if it makes you feel better, I'm pretty sure I convinced Karin to give up cooking for the most part to pursue soccer," I said, coming to stop beside him, even as I lost another Hp.
+5 Affection to Ichigo Kurosaki (20/100)
The look of relief on his face was so similar to Tatsuki I couldn't keep the smirk off my face.
"Good to know," he stated simply.
"Anyway, I'm heading out. I'll see you at school tomorrow," I told him, unable to keep the depression from my tone. I really wasn't looking forward to that. School had a way of sucking the life out of you.
"You sure you're alright?" he asked. I gave him a nod, appreciating the concern, "Yeah, I'll be fine. I think I'll get my stomach pumped at the hospital after dropping this off at home, just to be on the safe side. Don't tell Karin though."
+1 Affection to Ichigo Kurosaki (21/100)
+5 Affection to Yuzu Kurosaki (30/100)
Huh, look at that. Yuzu must have just found out that Karin wouldn't be destroying the kitchen anymore. And my Poison Resistance went up a Level as well. Nice.
"Thanks for humoring her. I don't know what's gotten into her," Ichigo told me. Looks like he didn't know about her little crush on me. Well, I'm sure as hell not going to tell him. That's not a fight I want or need.
"No problem. Oh hey, looks like the Pizza's here," I said, pointing at the delivery car approaching.
"About time," he said. I honestly don't see how he could have an appetite at the moment, but I guess a growing boy needs to eat.
"Well, I better get this out of the way before the delivery guy smells it, or he might just drive past," I said, indicating the pot in my hand. He made a face of revulsion at the pot, making me snicker slightly. He was just lucky he didn't have to eat it.
"Right, good call," Ichigo said. Starting to think he was more worried about his dinner than me. Whatever, I'm way too tired to care.
With a final goodbye, I set off for the hospital. I may have told Ichigo I'm dropping the pot off at home, but really, I just need to put it in my inventory, as reluctant as I am to do so.
But the hospital was still a fair ways away, and as much as I would have liked to Sprint there, that wasn't going to happen. I could barely walk as it is, running was completely out of the question.
No, I just needed to stumble around in the dark until I reached my destination, whether that be heaven or hell.
Once I was out of sight, I placed the pot of so-called curry into my Inventory, making the trudge through the streets somewhat easier. The extra Level to Poison Resistance helped as well. The Skill was leveling up pretty fast, reaching Level 3 already, but not nearly fast enough.
Hence the need for a stomach pump.
I eventually managed to make it to the train track, meaning the hospital wasn't too far away now. It was just a hop, skip and a jump away from the station after all.
Come to think of it, the hospital and the Kurosaki Clinic were closer than I thought, though at the moment, it felt like a hundred miles. I know they were technically in different city districts, but it still struck me as odd.
However, considering my current condition, I shouldn't be looking a gift horse in the mouth.
I followed along the train tracks, slowly but surely making steady progress. At this rate, I should reach the hospital before my Hp reaches 50. That's good, because I have no idea how long the wait time is. Hopefully they'll see I'm at death's door and get me in immediately, but I won't put my faith in the healthcare system.
However, that's when I spotted something strange. Laying there, face down in the dirt, was a body. I couldn't make out many details, only that it looked like a young girl, about Karin and Yuzu's size, with blonde hair done in pigtails.
Well shit, I can't in good conscience not investigate. If I just left her there, the guilt would nag at me until the end of time. So with a sigh, I made my way towards the body.
Curse me and my bleeding heart.