Tower of the Ogre Princess
Access to this tower is locked to those who do not possess the Red and Blue Orbs.
Well isn't that just great. After walking all this way the damn door is locked. I guess I shouldn't be that surprised. It's never that easy to enter places like this in regular games either.
The door to the tower was, in a word, massive. Unreasonably so. Freakin' thing was nearly five times my own height. Why in the hell does Hiyori need a door that big in her own head? Is she compensating for something? Don't tell me she has a Napoleon Complex.
Well whatever. Even if they were normal sized, it wouldn't change the fact that I can't get in without these so called orbs. Guess that's why the path behind me had a red and a blue gate on either side. At least I knew where to go.
Honestly, it made me kind of excited. As much as I wanted this whole ordeal to be over with, I also wanted to finally experience life as a real Gamer. Fighting monsters and conquering dungeons, that's what it's all about.
Up until now I've just been punching assholes and getting poisoned. Not exactly the thrilling start to my adventure that I thought it would be, but oh well. Better late than never, even if it's only been a week.
Feels like months to me.
However, the fact that the Dungeon is also recommended for someone 10 Levels higher than me is a bit worrisome. My Stats are pretty decent for my Level, mostly my Strength, but who knows if that would be enough.
Speaking of, before we get this show on the road, it might be a good idea to look through my Menus and see if there's anything I can do to stack things in my favor, even just a little bit.
Let's see…
Stats
Level: 5 (250/500)
Health: 460/792
Stamina: 240/427
Reiryoku: 678/678
Strength: 61 (86)
Agility: 21 (46)
Vitality: 32 (57)
Intelligence: 13
Wisdom: 23
Spirit: 25
Charisma: 8
Unused Points: 11
Looks like I'm in a Spirit body as well. Nice! I should have known, considering the white kimono thing I'm wearing. But in my defense, it has been a very long day. But knowing that did open up a few options.
I could put all my Unused Stat Points into Spirit, like I thought of doing earlier, which would give me an extra 11 point boost to my physical abilities. Not to mention the increase in Hp, Stamina, and my Reiryoku. It's the one stop shop for all my combat needs.
So while that's an option, it may be best to check out everything first. Like switching my Title. I doubt Silver Tongued would help me in this situation, and Merciless is pretty much useless without a way to inflict Status Ailments.
Underdog it is!
Alright, what else… Oh yeah, my Perk point! My other Perks were pretty cool, but they didn't help me much here. I needed something battle focused.
Let's see…
Opening up the menu I began my harrowing search for something that would aid me in my Quest to not die. There were several good ones, such as Giant's Strength, which increased my Strength Stat by 1 x my Level.
Actually, there was a Perk for each Stat that did the same thing. Well, for every Stat besides Charisma. That just gave me a straight 1. Nice, but not what I needed.
There were some other interesting choices, like some that increased my drop rate while in a Dungeon, or one that increased Exp gain while in a Dungeon. The problem with those is that they cost 2 Perk Points, and I have a measly 1.
Honestly the Stat boost ones were pretty sweet, though not especially effective at the moment. But by the time I get them all, I would be at level 30, which would increase all my Stats by 30.
Very useful for late game, not so much the early grind. And as much as I wanted them, because passive buffs are God's way of apologizing for all the crap in the world, I did manage to find one Perk that would be good for both late and early game.
Search
An upgrade for the Scan Ability, this Perk allows you to Scan the area around you and mark enemies, allies, and randos. Marked individuals will appear on the Map and Minimap. Enemies will appear as red dots, allies as blue dots, and everyone else as yellow dots. Beware, enemies using the Stealth Skill or who are otherwise hiding, will not appear on the Map. Upgrading the Scan Ability will allow you to find hidden enemies.
-Current Scan range: 100ft
-Cost 25 Reiryoku per Scan
Now doesn't that just seem useful? If I know where the enemy is and what they're doing I can properly plan out an appropriate method of murder. And isn't that what everyone wants?
No? Just me?
Anyway, I would need to upgrade it so I wouldn't be caught unawares. Soon, no one would be able to hide from me. My childhood dream of becoming the hide and seek champion is finally coming true.
Sure wish I had this Ability when Hiyori was hunting my ass down.
All that's left is to decide where to put my Stat Points. Part of me wants to hold onto them, that hoarder part of my gamer psyche exposing itself for all to see. But then again, what was the point in having them if I'm not going to use them? And with the difficulty of this dungeon…
Fuck it! Fortune favors the stupid! Pretty sure that isn't the right expression, but who cares! Time to go balls deep into this bitch!
With that I shoved all 11 of my hard earned Stat Points into Spirit. Let's take a looksee at my new parameters, shall we?
Stats
Level: 5 (250/500)
Health: 594/924
Stamina: 322/504
Reiryoku: 854/854
Strength: 61 (97)
Agility: 21 (57)
Vitality: 32 (68)
Intelligence: 13
Wisdom: 23
Spirit: 36
Charisma: 8
Unused Points: 0
Oh yeah, that's lookin' real nice. My Strength is almost past human limits. Now that's some sexy shit right there. Makes me wish I had a mirror. Sure I could look at an image of myself through the equipment portion of the game menu, but it wasn't the same.
I couldn't make the image do poses. And what's the point of admiring yourself if you couldn't do poses? None, that's what!
Ok, with that settled, I think I'm ready to begin my trek through the rest of this Dungeon. I don't have any items I can equip, or anything really useful at all in my Inventory. Except the Item Upgrade Token, but again, I have nothing to use it on.
Maybe I'll find something in this Dungeon. You know, like in a treasure chest. Cause what kind of game dungeon doesn't have a treasure chest or two in them? A really shitty one, that what.
Or I could get something by looting the corpses of my fallen enemies. Hopefully they have something good.
The last thing I did was make sure I was using the Street Fighter fighting style. As good as True Karate was, since it was at Level 1, it would do diddly squat for me at the moment.
Though, I guess I could level it up, but that might raise some questions when I start to actually learn from Dojima Sensei.
Now then which gate should I go through first? The red one or the blue one. Hmm, let's see if they have a description on them if I touch the gate.
Red Ogre's Lair
Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.
The district controlled by the dreaded Red Ogre.
Enemies: 50
Blue Ogre's Lair
The district controlled by the vicious Blue Ogre.
Enemies: 50
Ok, so not totally useless, but not what I was hoping to find. At least I know how many enemies are in each area. I do wonder if the 50 includes the Red and Blue Ogre's as well. Either way, it would probably be in my best interest to wipe out every enemy before confronting the boss.
Cause that would be just my luck, to rush the big bad only to find out he can summon all his minions and swarm my ass. I've played that game and let me tell you, not fun. So, best to wipe out all the small fry that I could.
At least I have a small strategy going in, that's better than nothing I guess. With little other information, it looks like it doesn't matter which side I start with, so…
Red it is!
Would you like to enter the Lair of the Red Ogre?
[Yes] [No]
Oh, I would. Time to really get this game started. After hitting the yes button, the massive red gates slowly opened, with a deep rumbling sound. Hell, I could feel the damn ground shaking.
It didn't make me nervous. Not one little bit. I'm a big, brave boy!
With the gate fully opened, I walked inside, and let me tell you, there was an immediate difference.
First off, it was sunny. And I mean so damn bright it was like staring directly into the sun. And wouldn't you know it, I don't have any sunscreen. Of course, that brightness was accompanied by a burning heat, like I walked into the middle of the Sahara Desert.
It took me about a minute for my eyes to adjust to the sheer brightness of the area and already my white top was soaked through. If I was at a bar I could have won a wet t-shirt contest.
You know those people that say, "But it's a dry heat"? Fuck those people. Hot is hot, I don't give a damn how dry it is. And besides, I'm soaking ass wet, so it sure doesn't feel that damn dry to me.
Ugh, whatever. I'll just have to deal with it I guess. No point in bitching for too long, I got shit to do.
But with this heat, I'm guessing this part of the Dungeon is going to be about fire. And if that's the case, then the Blue Ogre Lair is probably the opposite. So instead of day, it would be night, and I'll likely freeze my balls off.
For making an astute observation, gain 1 Wisdom.
Wow, you figured all that out on your own. I'm impressed, honestly. I didn't think you had it in you.
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but you're a little asshole. No matter what you say, you can't take this from me.
I could actually, but I won't. You need all the help you can get.
Ignore him Ushio, you have better things to do.
After taking a few steps into the Lair, the door behind me closed. And I mean, they closed quick. Made one hell of a commotion too, so I did the appropriate thing, and his inside of an empty barrel that was leaning up against a building.
And it was a good thing I did, because about 10 seconds later, someone showed up to investigate. It may or may not surprise you to know it was an ogre. Not a red one or a blue one, but a green one.
It looked less like an ogre and more like a very big goblin. It stood about 7 feet tall, and the only thing it was wearing was a dirty loincloth, and it carried a large, wooden club. Two little horns, though they were more like bumps really, protruded from its head, and its mouth was wide open, with razor sharp teeth poking out in every direction.
I could hear its breath from here, smell it too, damn mouth breather. This also seemed like a good time to Scan him. Get an idea of what I'm working with. I could see his name above his head, Red Ogre Lackey, but that didn't tell me much.
Oh, and it looks like I was right about the star afro guy. Turns out he was Love. While I could feel the need to brag about my superior intelligence, it literally does nothing for me right now.
Also, I have no one to brag to besides the System, and he's an asshole who would only mock me. But I'll know, and that's good enough.
Name: Red Ogre's Lackey
Level: 4
Health: 350/350
Stamina: 210/210
Reiryoku: 230/230
Description: A grunt by every definition of the word. Has very little intelligence but is very strong and prone to bouts of excessive violence. Dislikes the cold.
Is not aware of you.
Ah Stealth, my new best friend. Together, we shall place our fists firmly up the ass of this green fucker.
Metaphorically of course. Fisting is not one of the kinks I possess.
Unfortunately, as I was inside of a barrel, I was unable to sneak out of it properly, so instead I decided to use my brand new Search function. I heard a little ping sound as it activated, revealing the location of several enemies, including the one right in front of me.
Good, with that done, all I had to do was wait for the giant green asshole to meander away like a good boy, so I could sneak up behind him and snap his neck.
After nearly a whole freakin' minute, the not so jolly green jackass finally walked away. I waited until he was out of sight, keeping an eye on him through the mini map, before I left the safety of my barrel.
He didn't go very far, which was good for me, but bad for him. However before I went after him and gained some much needed Exp, I decided to conduct a little experiment. I placed my hands on the barrel beside me, and to my utmost joy, it went straight into my Inventory.
Huzzah! Instant hiding space.
Barrel (Common)
A large, brown barrel big enough for a man to hide inside.
Durability: 5/5
{Upgradeable}
So I can upgrade it huh? Wonder what it would become if I did that? Make it better for hiding maybe, or perhaps it would aid in the making of whiskey? As curious as I am, now is definitely not the time to find out.
But I now had a mobile hidey-hole, so I'll count that as a win. Now for my second victory.
I carefully snuck my way further into the Lair. Being able to see my foes on the Mini-map was a godsend. Sometimes I even surprise myself with my genius.
The dot indicating Ogre Lackey #1 went up and down an alleyway, in a very predictable pattern. All I had to do now was wait for him to move away from me, sneak up behind him, and wham!
So that's what I did. Hiding behind a wall, I could feel the anticipation build up inside me, like an itch I just couldn't scratch. Or at least, one I shouldn't scratch in public.
But I will today! According to my handy dandy Mini-map, the ogre had just turned around. Now I've been observing his pattern for a wee bit and whenever he reaches the end of the alley, he stops there for about 6 or 7 seconds.
Plenty of time for me to lay down the hurt on him. With that said I began to Stealth my way after him. The alley itself wasn't too long, maybe 20 feet or so, so I didn't have the luxury of time.
Not that I needed it. My Stealth Skill may not have been the highest, but it did the job. I crept up on him without him noticing a thing. Perhaps I should think about joining the Second Squad. You know, the one with all the sneaky fucks in it.
Well, except for the fat one, but he was more the exception than the rule. Nepotism at its finest. Speaking of fine, another perk to joining the squad was the fine and sexy Captain Soifon.
There was just something about taking that stick out of her ass and replacing it with something else that got my blood pumping. But I'll leave that to your imagination.
Anyway, I need to stop thinking about that right now, lest I get too distracted and the ogre hears me. Also, killing him would feel weird if I did it with a boner, you know? So yeah, I'll think of the sexy ninja assassin another time.
Back to the action, I was almost upon the ogre now. He's been stopped for a few seconds, so this would be my best chance. Winding my fist up and activating Power Punch, I unleashed a devastating haymaker to the side of his head.
There was something very satisfying about pulling off a plan, no matter how simple it may have been. His neck may not have snapped, but he did go down. He wasn't quite out of it yet, as I could see him twitching a bit, but I'll fix that little problem soon enough.
The poor ogre was laying there, confused and possibly concussed, with his Hp well into the red. That's when I noticed he received a Status Condition.
Stunned
You are unable to perform any action until the Stunned Status is removed or has run its course.
Duration: 7 Seconds
Damn, that seems broken. Dude is practically helpless. I almost feel bad for what I'm about to do. Not bad enough to stop, of course, but enough that I can give a half hearted apology in my head.
Seeing as he couldn't move, I proceeded to stomp on his head over and over again until his head was practically mulch. His Hp hit zero without him ever making a sound, so I'll count this as a successful Stealth kill.
As I stood there, breathing somewhat heavily from my exertion, a new screen popped up right in front of my face.
Stealth has gained a Level.
You have gained 20 Exp.
By performing a certain action, you obtain the Ability: Sneak Attack.
Sneak Attack (Rank *)
You are a sneaky bitch. By catching your opponent unawares, you can deliver an especially damaging attack.
-If attack is successful, deal Critical Damage
-Critical Damage is increased by 100%
-If opponent is immune to Critical, deal 50% more damage
Ooh, daddy likey. Any attack that deals an auto Crit is good in my book. And if the fucker just so happens to be immune to Crits, my damage is still increased. Pretty sweet.
So how much damage did I actually do to this guy. Or how much would I have if I actually had Sneak Attack beforehand.
Power Punch increased the damage by 50%, which is already good, and Street Fighter further increased it by another 11%. Too bad he was a lower Level than me, so Underdog didn't apply.
But with an increased Cirt, the total damage would have increased by about 211%, or just over 3x normal damage. That would have been enough to one shot him. Maybe this Dungeon won't be as bad as I thought, as long as I take it slow and don't fuck up.
Come to think of it, was there a timer on this Dungeon? Hiyori was looking pretty bad before considering she was turning into a damn Hollow.
There's no need for you to fear, the Dungeon is not on a timer. I figured you were far too weak and pathetic to succeed in a timely manner, so all you have to do is insure you and the little blonde terror survive. You may praise me whenever you wish.
That's good to know I guess. Maybe I should take a nap, considering I have my bed in my inventory. My Hp was a bit low, what with all the poisoning and everything, so getting that up to full would be nice. I'll make that decision after seeing how this part of the Dungeon goes.
But more importantly, it was looting time! Let's see just what this big fucker had on his person, shall we?
Would you like to loot the body of "Red Ogre's Lackey"?
[Yes] [No]
Come on, do you even need to ask? Take him for all he's worth!
Looting…
You have obtained
-40 Yen
-Wooden Club
-Soiled Loincloth
I almost wept at seeing what I got. Not the club or the, ugh, loincloth, but the money. Sweet, sweet currency. I've been wanting you for a long time. And judging by the amount I got, it seems like it was his Level x 10. I'd have to kill and rob a few more to be sure.
And I might as well check out the other items as well…
Wooden Club (Common)
A common drop from a lesser ogre. Large and unwieldy, it takes great strength to use this properly.
-Increase Damage by 15
-Durability 4/6
-Requires 35 Strength to wield
(Upgradeable)
Well at least I have a weapon now, so that's nice. A little extra damage never hurt anybody. Except for whoever is bludgeoned over the head of course. Now let's check the other drop.
As much as I don't want to…
Soiled Ogre Loincloth (Uncommon)
A rare drop form a lesser ogre. It may be disgusting and infested with fleas and other things, but it is surprisingly durable, and helps maintain body temperature.
-Increases Defense by 1
-Increases Resistance to heat and cold by 5%
-Durability 8/10
*Note*
Soiled clothing cannot be upgraded until they have been cleaned. Try taking it to the laundromat when you get the chance. It may surprise you.
Oh god, just looking at the thing was making me feel sick. I'm glad it was automatically dumped into my inventory and I don't have to touch the thing. And even if it did up my Defense, there was no way in hell I was going to wear that thing.
Also, the note at the end just reminded me of Persona 5. Didn't the protag have to do something similar there too? Well, hopefully whatever I get from it will be worth the potential STD's the thing might have.
Even if the drops were a bit lackluster, I'm still satisfied with my first victory in my first Dungeon. As the body disappeared into light particles, I couldn't stop the eager grin that forced its way onto my face.
Enemies remaining: 49
This was going to be fun.