Tides of Inferno
Please give a warm round of applause as we welcome our gold medalist for the men’s 100m freestyle at the Michigan State Championship, breaking a world record with a solid time of 46.01 seconds, Mr. James Mariner Delmar!
The 18-year-old Caucasian youth stepped forward with a dazzling smile, his sea-green eyes sparkling like gems under the spotlight. Standing over six feet tall, James accepted his medal with grace, his lean figure outlined by his half-open blazer, and his messy hair adding a touch of wildness to his otherwise refined image.
As the cameras flashed, I couldn’t help but think, ‘Finally…finally, I did it’.
You see, swimming has always been my passion, the water my home. I’ve always felt a connection to it since as long as I can remember. I mean, come on, even my name reflects it. Of course, that’s not what my dad had in mind. He named me after Jason of Argos hoping I’d live up to it’s heroic story. Not to mention, he’s always been against my decisions. He just doesn’t understand that this is what ‘I’ want to do, I mean, it is my life after all and I get to call the shots. But, he’s always on my case about how hard it is being an athlete, that I’ll have an early retirement, there’s always going to be someone better and all.
He didn’t even come today since he’s gotta keep up with the whole ‘being against it’ thing. But, according to my mother, contrary to what he says, he secretly watches the live every time. I mean, sure, I get where he’s coming from and that he wants what he think is best for me. Obviously, I love the stubborn old man, but its not like following in his footsteps is supposed to be any easier and its definitely not what I want; he’s a firefighter for crying out loud.
w(ﾟДﾟ)w
Last night, we even had a huge fight about my participation in today’s competition. Thankfully, my uncle mediated, and came up with a life-saving suggestion. It felt like I was drowning (of course not that I’d know what that’s like), and my uncle threw me a life-boat. He proposed a deal to my dad. If I can win gold, then I should be given a chance. My dad thought it was reasonable though he added that if I want to convince him, I’ll have to break a record too! Otherwise, I’d have to quit and become a firefighter.
As if! I didn’t get this far just to lose. As long as it’s something that’s got to do with swimming, I’ll come out on top. And I made it happen! I can’t wait to go home and break the news.
(/≧▽≦)/
He stepped away after receiving his medal with his head still in the clouds, excitedly making plans for the future, when his thoughts were interrupted by a voice. ‘Jason’
I looked up and saw that coach had come over with storm clouds rolling over his face, I had an ominous feeling and unfortunately, I soon found out that I was right.
He placed his hand over my shoulder and let out a deep sigh while mumbling. ‘How could this happen…Why now?’.
‘Coach what’s wrong, you’re really scaring me right now you know’, I said. Upon hearing me he looked at my face, meeting at eye level. He seemed to be trying to look for the right words, but he couldn’t find them. Then, looking as if he’d given up and decided to just give it to me straight. He said in a worried and gentle voice, ‘Listen James…I just want you to know that you’re not alone, we’re all here for you. I honestly don’t know how to tell you this because nothing I do would make this any easier, so I’ll just tell you’.
‘Coach, I’m really freaking out now, just tell me what’s…’
‘Your family may be dead’, the coach blurted out, ‘no, sorry, that’s not it, you see, there was a fire, it went out of control, by the time help arrived it was already too late. Your dad and uncle didn’t make it and your mother is in critical condition. They say there may be no hope. Kid, you…’.
I couldn’t hear any more of what he said at that moment.
My whole world seemed to have flipped upside down. One moment, it was the best day of my life and I was the happiest I’ve ever been, while the next the worst. It was like I fell from cloud nine and ascending to the heavens when lightning struck sending me straight down to the depths of hell. Nothing felt real.
My chest hurt, I felt suffocated, everything around me seemed quiet, and the world around me went dark. I don’t remember what happened after that, my body seemed to go on auto-pilot. I wasn’t in control anymore and time just kept passing. I couldn’t feel anything. I was numb. I didn’t care anymore and I didn’t care that I didn’t care either. Everything just felt meaningless.
Why did it all even matter? What was I working so hard for? What was I even fighting for? My dreams? My passion? Just what was I trying to prove? To who?…
It hit me, the last time we were together, we were fighting.
Why…just why? Why couldn’t I just give in? Why didn’t I try to resolve it peacefully? Why did I keep going against him? Why?!
If only, I hadn’t fought. If only I had listened. If only I did what he asked. If only…if…if only I hadn’t come here, I would’ve been at home with them. Then maybe…maybe, I could’ve done something, or maybe I would’ve died with them, then at least I wouldn’t have been left behind, I wouldn’t be alone. Yes, I’m all alone now.
Then, what’s the point left in living, if I’ve got no one left with me. Why am I even alive? Why only me? Why am I the only one who’s alive? Why me…?
There was a storm brewing in his heart. His whole being was thrown into chaos. During his state of disorientation, his coach took him to the hospital where his mother was being rescued. But had to leave him there alone, to take care of the aftermath of the competition.
He sat outside the operation theater, like a man who had given up. He was stiff, blank and pale, looking like a corpse. As if, something in him had died with that fire. The bright and youthful soul from before was nowhere to be seen.
Time passed as the clock slowly moved, seconds to minutes, minutes to hours.
Tick-tock, Tick-tock, Tick-tock.
Each second pulling him down, lower into the abyss. After what seemed like an eternity, the doctor came out.
He just looked up blankly with lifeless eyes, like an innocent lost child who couldn’t yet make sense of what’s going on.
The doctor informed him, ‘The patient was saved, but she’s not out of the woods yet, she had multiple third and fourth-degree burns. Honestly, its a miracle she’s even alive. We’ll be transferring her over to be ICU and keeping her under observation…’
The moment those words reached his ears, his eyes brightened as he saw a light at the end of the tunnel. His whole person seemed to be filling up with some life and energy, reflecting a trace of his original self.
There was hope.
His mother was still alive. He was not all alone in this world. The lost child was found and tightly clung to the hand that reached out to him. It was going to be ok.
I was waiting outside the ICU, when two officers and some firefighters who I recognized as my dad’s friends came. The officers said, ‘Firstly, we would like to offer our condolences.’ A fireman interrupted between choked sobs, ‘We’re sorry…we were too late. We couldn’t save them. We knew your dad…he was a good man’. ‘Its ok. I’m sure you tried your best’, I told him before turning to the officers who looked like they had something more to say, ‘Please continue’.
He looked at me for a bit before continuing, ‘Yes…, I’m sure, this is a very hard time for your family, but we need to inform you of our investigation’s results. It wasn’t an accident, it was arson. We discovered that your cousin has a history of pyromania and is undergoing treatment. And some neighbors also claimed to have seen her near the scene of the crime. We brought her in and she confessed to having started the fire, but it went out of control.’
Of course…it was her. We should’ve just admitted her, instead of letting her stay at the house, knowing how dangerous she could be. ‘Please proceed according to the standard procedure with this’ I paused before continuing, ‘I’m sorry but I want to be alone.’ ‘Yes, we understand. Then, we’ll be taking our leave’, they said, then turned to leave.
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I sat there by myself once again, waiting for Mom to wake up. Each second feeling like an hour had passed. The wait was agonizing. But, I couldn’t leave. I felt if I did I might lose her too. If I let go of this hand, I’ll get lost again. I can’t leave.
Two days later…
A nurse came out and told me that my mother had regained consciousness and that I can visit her for a bit, but warned me that I should be prepared and that I could only look at her through a transparent curtain.
I quickly stood up as I made my way forward to go in with trembling legs. I saw my mother, she looked nothing like herself, she was bandaged all over, from her face to her feet. It was as if there was no place she wasn’t burnt. I thought, ‘It must’ve really hurt.’ The kind and gentle yet strong woman from my memory was almost unrecognizable right now, in her injured and weak state. My heart ached.
‘Mom…’, she looked my way with her eyes as she heard my voice but couldn’t move her head. She wanted to speak but struggled to make a sound or open her mouth, before I could stop her, she managed to mouth ‘Your father…’.
I just looked down shook my head. She understood and closed her eyes which were brewing over with emotions as tears silently fell.
Despite her covered face, her heartbreak and melancholy were apparent. She didn’t say anything and she didn’t need to as her emotions were all conveyed to me. It was as if I can physically feel them. Those tears seemed as though they directly touched and thawed my heart which felt frozen after the incident . The numbness I felt disappeared as I felt that suffocating pain again, I fell to the ground and broke down in tears. I couldn’t hold on nor hold back anymore.
It hurt too much. So, I bawled my eyes out.
He cried out loud like a child to his mother after falling down. His cries gradually became sobs, which wouldn’t stop. He cried to let everything out. All the sadness, anger, loneliness, fear…he let it all out.
The mother and son wanted to hug each other, to console each other.
The mother wanted to hug her hurt child, to soothe him and tell him that she’s here, that it’ll be ok, while the wife who had become widowed wanted to be told it’ll be ok.
The son wanted to hug his mother to express his grievances, to feel he’s not alone, that he has someone who’ll protect him from the world and keep him safe, that he still has someone to lean on, while he wanted to console his mother, who had lost her husband and tell her that he’ll protect her and take care of her. That he’s there and she’s not alone.
They wanted to take care of the other due to their sense of responsibility, yet be vulnerable and taken care of.
However, no matter what they wanted to do, the circumstances didn’t allow them to. So they were just there, suffering on their own, yet together. Their presence reassuring the other, yet also causing pain and longing. Vulnerable, yet present.
The only family left for each other.
Ten Years Later…
The sunlight shone through the window as it reflected off the surface of the pool as a strong figure emerged. His back and shoulder outlined with muscles honed through year of training. He looked the same as if not a day had passed, but at the same time clearly a lot more mature as if he had weathered many storms over the years.
‘Even after all these years, I cant seem to be able to completely give up on this’ , he thought as he climbed out of the pool and walked to the showers with water still dripping, step by step. He then changed into his clothes and went back home after his early morning exercise.
‘Mom, I’m home’.
‘Welcome back, breakfast is ready. Quickly get changed, and come have some.’
I sat down at the table, across from my mom. She still had traces of that day left, though the most noticeable was the left side of her face down to her neck and arms. There was visibly no part left clear and unscarred. It pained me whenever I saw it, imagining the pain she must’ve felt, but as always I pretended nothing was wrong.
I smiled at her while saying, ‘Wow, it all looks so good, I have to hurry though or I’ll be late for work’, while starting to eat when I heard, ‘Are you sure you still won’t quit, you still love swimming don’t you?’ I paused for a bit before saying in a light and cheery tone, ‘Of course I love it, but I’m not a kid anymore, it’s just to stay fit now, that doesn’t mean I’ll quit my job.’
My mother continued in protest, ‘Why? You don’t have to do this because of your father, he wouldn’t have wanted you to suffer like this…’, I interrupted calmly, continuing to eat, ‘Its not because of dad. I wanted to do this. I became a firefighter because I wanted to save people like they saved you. And maybe thanks to me some family won’t have to suffer like we did with dad…and uncle.’
Even after all this time it was still hard for us to mention uncle, even though he had also lost his kids. But it was all because of his daughter.
My mother looked like she wanted to continue but I had quickly wolfed down my food and stood up hurriedly saying,’ I’m late, I need to get to work. I’m leaving, Goodbye Mom.’
‘Don’t say that’, she said in panic.
‘Shit’, I tgight
I hurriedly looked back and hugged her, then smiled and said, ‘Sorry, I meant to say, I’ll be back. Love you Mom’.
‘I love you too, son. Then safely go and come back. ‘, she said as she returned the smile, and let go while pushing me towards the door.
I left, feeling strange, for some reason I suddenly didn’t want to leave, as if I might not return. But that’s impossible, unless I die I’ll never leave my mom on her own and I’ll do everything I can to not die.
I arrived at the station, where it was chaos. A senior saw he and hurriedly said, ‘There’s a big fire at an apartment complex, they need reinforcements. Gear up and dispatch asap’.
We rushed and arrived shortly. The whole place was aflame. The first team had already brought the outside situation under control and made a path. We were told to check for any survivors and try to put out the fire.
We rushed in, but for some reason it felt off. I got a weird feeling here. Like there was something here, the energy? the vibe? I didn’t know what but something told me that it’ll be bad. I was getting goosebumps. It was a familiar yet foreign feeling but I couldn’t pay it any mind right now, people needed help, so I brushed it off. I couldn’t be like this now, I have people to save. I ignored the strange feeling and kept going, when I found a little girl passed out behind a table and quickly went to check. She was still alive! I put a mask on her and quickly picked her up, ready to take her out.
When I heard a weird crack over my head, I looked up and it seemed like it was about to fall. I immediately prepared to jump forward, but something weird happened. Looks like this was the bad feeling I was having outside. Everything went quiet and dark, the fire and heat disappeared as well as the child in my arms.
Only one spot had a tiny light coming from it, which gradually grew larger until it became like a floating door without a door knob. It slowly opened and a figure stepped out of it. But it wasn’t human. It looked like a humanoid orange-red lizard, but with wings? Wait was it a dragon? But it was wearing a formal black 3-piece suit with a white dress shirt, black tie, and for some reason cowboy boots.
There were silver chains hanging around its neck, to wings diagonally and the belt. He didn’t carry any other weapons, but I’m pretty sure those teeth would be enough rip me apart. And if it can breath fire…Wait, why am I even taking this as reality? Maybe the smoke got to me and I’m dreaming, passed out or am I hallucinating?
I wasn’t sure, but what I did know was that it’s dangerous. I could feel a pressure coming from it, and my years of experience on this job told me that if I tried anything I’d die and I can’t do that to Mom. Not that I could even if I tried though, since it seems I can’t move.
Every fiber of my being told me to run, to get out of here. But, I couldn’t. I tried to open my mouth to say something, but nothing would come out. I was trembling, I guess I’m scared. Or was it perhaps something else?
The dragon straightened its tie and cuffs before opening its mouth with its head lowered. It sounded like a regular woman’s voice nothing special but she seemed kinda annoyed, ‘What the hell, he went on about how the connection is glitchy, that I waited this long but everything seems ok with world203, I just wasted my time.’ She looked up at me and continued, ‘Let me guess who am I, what am I, Why am I here, etc etc right…don’t even start, its too predictable though it seems you can’t anyway, I guess you must’ve moved quiet ahead with your story,’ then she grumbled,’ Only happened cuz of that idiot though’.
Anyway, even if i tell you anything, you won’t get it anyway even with the communication program you’re too in sync with…or should I just say ignorant, maybe stupid hmm…just call me your collector. I’m here because you are the prefect ‘player 2′ to be added to the team. You’ll find out the details eventually if you live long enough’.
She said as if in a rush, then her hand shot out so quickly that before he could even notice he felt something gripping his left wrist, while dragging him towards the door.
I can’t leave like this, Mom will be alone. I told her I’d be back. If something happens to me…
He tried to pull her hand back, but he didn’t even budge. He couldn’t resist at all as if his whole body was paralyzed, he just kept getting dragged, step by step as she continued grumbling, We’ve already wasted ten years after player 1 because of that idiot insisting on generalizing his minor glitch, making us think there’s a serious system error or something. I swear, if I get my hands on him, I’ll…’ , then she disappeared behind the door into the unknown nothingness, with the strange creature both no longer in sight.
Only the hand or claw? still holding his wrist was there, he continued to try to stop, giving it his all, but his body just didn’t seem to listen. He thought, ‘No, I can’t go like this, Mom’s waiting for me. I…’ Those were his last words in this world as he was helplessly dragged into the door.
The lights came back on, and everything returned to normal with no traces left of what just happened. The building was still burning as firemen came in and saw the little girl unconscious on the ground. They quickly rescued her. Someone stopped and looked around, the other fireman asked, ‘What wrong? Who are you looking for? Hurry up we need to get out of here before it collapses.’ He said, ‘I don’t know…it felt like there was supposed to be someone else here as well.’ The other fireman replied in annoyance, ‘What’s wrong with you. There isn’t anyone else lets go.’
He looked back and turned to leave.
Meanwhile, at home, James’ mother watching T.V when she felt weird, she suddenly burst into tears not understanding what’s wrong. It felt like she was supposed to be waiting for someone, but didn’t know who. She turned around and walked to a photo of her and her late husband, she felt there was supposed to be someone else here too but there wasn’t. She felt extreme sadness but didn’t know why, until that feeling slowly faded away.
James still had her in his thoughts, not knowing that his existence in this world has already been erased.
To be continued…
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James after finding out(´。＿。｀) : What? no…
Alice: … ಥ_ಥ
(╯‵□′)╯︵┻━┻
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