The fountainhead shot out the water, occasionally sputtering. I looked at it’s maw. It’s tongue out. It took me way longer to find it than I thought it would. Most people hadn’t heard of it. The few who had could not accurately recount where it was located. After some trial and error I found it. On the west side of the Bronze Ring, through some back alleys, just past a textile merchant who was poor with directions, nestled against the wall to the Silver Ring, was a shrine. It took the shape of a stone fountain. Sculpted by an artist who had possibly only heard of a dog in passing. I stared at the Basenji hound shooting water out of its open mouth into a pool. Its eyes pointing in different directions. It’s proportions out of whack. Geez. Even her shrines were goofy.

I looked around, there were some residents who were using the thoroughfare as a shortcut to their house, but they only came occasionally. I was mostly alone, and yet I still felt silly. Was praying to the gods here similar to praying in the last world? I got on my knees in front of the shrine, and clasped my hands together. I focused on the dog, its mouth opened far too wide. I closed my eyes and focused.

“Oh.. Anubis…” I said, “Oh, Goddess Anubis. It is I, Egen. Formerly known as Aiden. I would like to convene with you, oh goddess.”

I opened one eye. Nothing. I got up and paced around for a little. I thought about going home. The sun was starting to get low and my mother was on edge. I sat back down and tried again.

“Please, Anubis,” I pleaded, “I’d like to convene with you, oh goddess.”

I could only hear the uneven gurgling of the fountain. It looked and sounded like the dog figure was choking on its own saliva. I sighed and looked up again, “Anubis… You promised me you would visit me. You said you’d check in. It’s been nine years. You haven’t been here once!” I started to get myself riled up, “I looked out for basenji. They’re royal dogs. I didn’t see many. I looked at any dog and wondered if it was you. I saw a mutt eat its own shit and then come right up to me and try to lick my face. I thought… ‘that’s gotta be Anubis!’ But… It was just wishful thinking. The truth is I’ve been all alone here. Well… not all alone. But you were the only person in this world I would get to be myself with… and you never came. Where are you?!”

Still nothing. The bubbling of the fountain distracted me.

“Where ARE YOU?!” Some people who were about to pass through suddenly turned the other direction. “Where are you, you crazy bitch?!”

“Hey! I am not crazy!!”

A familiar soft voice called behind me. I looked back, ecstatic. There she was. Wearing heavenly robes, and with straight black hair, and those ears. Big black ears coming out from under her hair. Anubis.

“Anubis!” I squealed. I ran up and hugged her. In this diminutive form, she was much taller than me.

“Hey, Aiden. OR should I call you Egen?” She looked down at me “Or maybe… “She said with a grin, “I should call you Danger?”

I stuck my tongue out at her. “You really think that’s funny, huh?” I said.

She cackled at her own prank.

“Where have you been?” I asked, “Why didn’t you visit me?”

“Geez, dork,” Anubis said, “Quit barking at me. I know it’s been nine years for you but that’s not that long in god-time. Sorry, If I’m a little late. Most people are all ‘goo-goo gaa-gaa’ for the first twenty five years of their life anyway.”

“Well, I called you here for a reason. I'm a Junior Paladin and,” I took a little pause, it felt like I was about to ask a girl to the dance, “It’s time to make a contract with my god.”

“Really?” Anubis asked, ‘Well, if you need me to vet anybody, I’ll be happy to. I’ve got the juicy gossip on every god. Who are you looking at?”

I gave her a head wag, and stared straight at her.

“What?” Anubis asked, smiling, oblivious, “Do I have some kibble on my face?”

“You. Dummy. You. I want you to be my patron.”

“Oooh,” She said, “Yeah, that’s not happening. I don’t contract paladins.”

“What? I asked, You don’t have any business down here? At all?”

“No, kid. Sorry. I mostly stay in the Land of the Rreeds. Hey, when you’re up there, I’ll show you all the cool spots! There’s this room where all failed dreams converge. It’s haunting but… the lighting makes my skin look amazing.”

“Yeah, that sounds nice for when I die,” I said, “But really, there’s nothing you need?”

She shrugged her shoulders.

“Okay,” I sighed, “I guess I’ll keep looking.”

“Alright, I guess I’ll go.”

This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

“Wait! It’s been forever for me since we talked! I’ve missed you, you…” and just as I was about to call her crazy, she gave me this look to warn me, “You sane bitch.”

She smiled, “Okay. I can hang for a bit.”

“Tell me stuff.”

“Like what?” She asked.

“You still dating that guy?”

“What guy?”

“The guy, who was texting the shrieking water spirit.”

“Oh yeah, that guy. Yeah, I’m still dating that guy.” She said it as a throwaway, as if it kind of bothered her that she was still dating that guy.

“How is it?” I asked

“It’s alright he’s…” Suddenly her eyes lit up. She got an idea in that tiny head of hers, “Wait a minute… I do have some business you might be able to attend to.”

I perked up too. I said, “Yeah? You’ll let me be your paladin?!” I asked, glee oozing from my words, “Anything you ask, I shall procure, my fair goddess.”

Anubis pumped her straight black hair, “Well, you didn’t tell me there’d be flattery. You shoulda lead with that.”

“What is it? What brave mission shall I take on?”

“Yeeeeah,” She said, her gears turning, “Here’s the thing: Dale, my boyfriend, keeps wandering off to the mortal plane.”

“And that’s unusual?” I asked.

“Not really. He’s the god of a large lake. Very large. Very respectable lake. Lake Edko”

“He’s the god of Lake Edko?”

“Well, co-god. Some of the smaller gods got together and decided to co-op Edko together.”

“Oh, Anubis.”

“What?!”

“He’s the co-owner of a single lake? You could do better, god-wise.”

“He was really funny. And nice. For a while.”

“Sure, honey.”

“Anyway, he always says it’s just some lake business, but he hasn’t just been going to the lake. My friend Horus keeps his eyes on him when he’s down there. Horus is great,”

“Why don’t you date Horus?”

“Ew. Not my type. He’s a good friend.”

“Oof.”

“Horus uses his little hawks to see that Dale has been going to a tavern in a mountain town, Jabali. It’s in the Edko Mountains. Six hours north east of the lake. He goes into a bar there and the hawks lose track of him. But they say that he meets with someone. Has been once a week for the last three weeks. I need you to go into the mountains and see what he’s doing in this bar. Can you do that for me? My honorable paladin?”

“Of course,” I said, “Do this and you’ll grant me my powers?”

“I’ll even give you powers now to help you with your quest, and if you succeed, you keep them! And you’ll be my paladin.”

“Awesome! What kind of powers will you give me?”

Anubis placed her finger on her mouth as she thought, “I don’t know. I’ve never given anyone paladin powers before. I’ll let you keep Seshat’s contract in place and I'll just add some that I thought of.”

“Sounds goood to m-”

Anubis placed her finger on my forehead. The energy that surged through her tip entered me and I was suddenly elsewhere. My eyes lit up and I was flashed with visions of a black dog running along the meadows with its tongue out, trying to taste the sprinklers. I could taste the bitter hose-water on my mouth and skin. I was a basenji. No, I was all basenjis. I was no longer in the meadow. I was in a kennel, surrounded by little doggies. Everyone else was cute and fluffy but me. One by one, they were adopted. I watched as my friends were given the chance at a happy home. I waited for my turn. Surely someone would see me. Surely I would be someone’s type? My serious exterior betrayed the soft mushy insides. Why couldn’t they see that? Why couldn't I have someone to love me for me and look past my angular portions? I was a good… girl?

I was no longer in the kennel, I was on a date. There was a man in front of me. He had cow horns and glowed the way the gods did. He looked sort of average. Weasley even. A thin mustache he had been trying to grow out for the better part of three hundred years. And yet… he was a smooth talker. He charmed me. The waiters were satyrs and they poured us wine. I laughed. He asked me about my parents and I said I didn’t have any. I was a god.

Days by his lake. Fishing. Canoeing. Nights in the Land of Reeds. Our favorite location was the place where all failed dreams converged. Gods, my skin looked good. That was when he proposed… that we continue to go steady. I was content. I was content because the other option would be to complain and how could I complain when someone finally wanted me?

Then… nights alone in my godly apartment (What the hell, Anubis? This place is a mess) I’m crying, looking in the mirror making sure I still looked cute even though my eyes were puffy. Where was Dale? He’d grown distant. Why was he no longer the man who tried to charm me? He had stopped dating me and started taking that energy elsewhere. Horus. He told me exactly where Dale was. He said he knew something was wrong and used his hawks. He offered to show me. Horus cawed and pressed his feathered finger onto my forehead. Anubis’ forehead. Wait… I’m going into another head? I’m Anubis. I’m Horus, As Anubis as me. It’s getting too confusing. I just want Anubis to be safe. For Me’s sake, Anubis. Why won’t you just be safe? You’re so beautiful and yet you run around with these… dogs! These dogs who won’t treat you right. Meanwhile I’m at her Bark and Caw and yet you don’t even look at me!

I'm a hawk. I’m all hawks. What can I see through my sharp eyes? It’s Dale. He’s entering a tavern called The Slumbering Lumberer. I can see a bird’s eye view of the trajectory to the mountain town. I swoop down. Once I’m near the ground, I hover. Dale opens door and goes in. I could catch a little glimpse of the bartender. Fluffy salt and pepper hair and big sideburns. A reddened nose from drinking. The door closes. I’m out of Horus’ mind. And I’m out of Anubis’ mind.

I doubled over and puked. Anubis patted me on the back, “I know. I thought he was a good guy.”

The first thing I realized was the power. I felt even stronger. Anubis gave me some of her juice and it felt good. Just how much juice did she give me? I looked at my arms and I could still see some remnant glowing in the veins.

“That about sums it up,” Anubis said, “Like I said, I’m not sure what a god normally gives a paladin so let me know if there are any powers that are really bad.”

“Wow,” I said, “I feel amazing.” I flexed my arms. The muscles looked the same and yet I was energized.

“Yeah, well,” She said, “go easy on that. You don’t want to get too dependent on a god’s powers. That’s got to be bad for a paladin. Now, you’ll accept my mission, right?”

“Yes, oh fair…” I chose my words carefully, “Oh fair and looks-hot-while-crying goddess. I shall deliver him to you on a silver platter.”

She perked up, stood up straight, bolstered by the compliment, “I just want to know if he’s cheating on me. Do NOT engage!”

“Yes, ma’am! Do not engage! When should I go?”

“It’s a long way to Jabali from here. You should go now if you want to catch their meeting.

I saluted her. She saluted back and disappeared. I was only left with that ugly fucking statue. I turned and bounced off, knowing exactly who’s help I’d need for this stealth mission.