"'You doing good?'

'Yes.'

'Are you sure?'

'No.'"

"I love eating cream puffs and cheese pizza with my friend on his private island with everybody else!"

"You may claim the entirety. The territory of which I own made of worthless soil. I shall leave you in utter disappointment. I shall leave you suffering in pain."

"Have I done anything meaningful? Have I done anything fulfilling?"

"When life gives you shit, put it in a bag, place it in front of life's porch, light the bag on fire and yell at life to not fuck with you."

A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.

"I don't know who I hate more: me or everybody else."

"I'm smart :)"

"Whatever. I'll just be doing what I got to be doing. And that's making snacks and eating ass."

"[ processing new information ]... [ COMPLETE ]. Well, MAYBE --"

"My greatest weakness? I have 3: being honest, authentic, not being able to remember the third one, and numbers."

"'Life is all a simulation.'

'I FUCKING LOVE SCIENCE!'

'Life is God's gift to us.'

'NO! THAT'S NOT POSSIBLE!'"

"Taiwan is a country."

"To make things equal we must first make things unequal for adjustment."

"Everybody I know who was born died."

"Die. Cry. Hate everything and everyone for convincing you that being weak was okay."