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Chapter 15

15

Alayna

Wednesday 31st January, Year 825

No members of the Guard came knocking at my door in the immediate aftermath of my temper tantrum unless you counted Michael, who stopped by before sundown to explain to my parents what he'd seen. I did not elaborate and I decided to miss out the bit with the sex bet, dying a little inside at even the thought of having that conversation with Dad. Luckily, I convinced Ben not to tell my parents what happened.

The night of my argument with Tiv, an unrecognised number rang the mobile he had given me. Turns out it was Marco accusing me of keying his car. It wasn't a long phone call; we both just shouted over each other until I eventually hung up, worried my temper would get me arrested.

I made a conscious effort to keep my phone off at all times. It was hard to resist the urge to check for a message or some kind of apology from Tiv, but I held strong. It became a nightly routine between wanting to turn the damn phone on just to see if there was a message and never wanting to hear from him again. But whenever the landline rang… fuck—I couldn't help but hope it was Tiv calling. It never was. But even then, part of me needed the silence between us; it was his punishment for being a coward and not telling me how much of an asshole his brother really was. So I stuck to my self-imposed exile from him, even though it tore at me from the inside out.

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Breakfast was very damn stagnant on Wednesday morning. It was Sarah and Lucy's memorial day. Now joined by their dead parents... I opted to wear a brightly coloured dress. I hated dresses and I didn't particularly wear colours that weren't black often. But Lucy loved colour. She spoke in colour. When she was angry she'd tell us she felt red. Yellow was happy. Blue was excited. Now she had no colour. Now she was ash in an urn ready for us to pay our respects to.

"Eat Aly," Dad ordered, looking at my untouched scrambled eggs. "We're leaving in fifteen."

I nodded solemnly and shovelled a mouthful in. It made me feel sick like I was eating soil.

"Ben you're not wearing that," Mum snapped as my brother entered the room, still wearing his sweats.

"I'm not going," he growled. "And I'll not make it worth your while if you force me."

Mum and Dad shot each other exasperated glances before Dad eventually piped up, "You'll never feel better if you don't at least try. I know Hayley's was-"

"I'm not fucking going Dad," he snapped.

Dad had trouble not rising to my brother's cheek, visibly trying hard to give Ben the benefit of the doubt rather than scream at him. I felt myself recoil. Ben had lost about a thousand people he loved and he was only twenty-five. Dad booting off at him wasn't going to make his grief evaporate but neither was Ben locking himself away again either.

"Ben, please come. Don't make me do this on my own," my voice sounded tiny. I didn't even mean to speak the last part. But I did and Ben's face momentarily crumpled.

"Ah, Aly, don't do that," he moaned. "It's not them. It's jars of ash."

My face pulled down into a frown as I swallowed back tears. The room was too still. Too silent.

"Fine. Just don't cry," Ben sighed.

I nodded as he left to change, holding the tears at bay.

Ten minutes later I sat at the kitchen table with Ben, who had a face like a smacked ass, while Mum straightened Dad's tattered tie. Ben hadn't made an effort at all, wearing the same ruined jeans and black hoodie he wore every day. Though I supposed it was better than sweatpants and a holey T-shirt. Neither Mum or Dad brought it up.

A sudden, sharp bang on the door made the whole room jump. Ben had been particularly on edge since I admitted keying the car. He was so bad it made me scoff the second he jumped to open the back door as Mum left to answer the front one. Dad, noting Ben's attempt to make a quick exit, glowered at him darkly.

"What have you done now?" he growled.

"Nothin'" Ben muttered before glancing at me.

He might as well have come clean. He told on me instantly with a look. Dad's eyes, wide and apprehensive, shot in my direction. I was his good child and his look of betrayal constricted my chest for a second.

"What did Michael not tell us?" he hissed.

Before I could open my mouth, a stern voice echoed from the front door, "We're here for Alayna Jameson."

"She ran off last month," Mum replied too quickly. "Haven't seen her since."

"She's wanted for vandalism of Hawes' property."

"For fu- Go!" Dad breathed, rushing out the room.

The last thing I heard was him futilely refusing the Day Guard entry into the hallway as Ben yanked me through the back door. We bolted around the side of the house to Kithry. The frigid air nipped painfully at my skin. Before I could catch my breath, Ben abruptly stopped and shoved me against the damp patio wall; Kithry was being held. His hand frantically searched his pockets, but came up empty; he had left his phone inside. Panic painted his face like graffiti on The Grange wall. A split second passed before he pulled me down the backyard to Cassibear Forest. The colours of the meadow beside our house blurred as we sprinted, the only sound was the squelching of old leaves under our hurried steps.

Running to the treeline, Ben shoved me up a tree as he hid behind it. He muttered profanities at me as we watched the back of our house, waiting for something to happen. After a few minutes, a guard exited the back door, his dark eyes scanning our yard and the meadow adjacent to it. Frustratingly, he didn't move, deciding to stand guard instead. Ben whispered another line of swears before ordering me out of the tree. I moved as silently as I could; if we got caught, Ben would get himself killed.

"We can wait them out," I breathed.

"Not in the damn forest we can't. I'm surprised Umbrith haven't found us already," he hissed.

That made no sense. Umbrith came out at night. We were safe for hours on the outskirts of the forest. Ben clearly disagreed as he led me along the treeline towards Cassibare Meadow.

Making it to the clearing free of the Day Guard, we tore through the meadow, Ben's grip on my arm feeling more urgent with every step.

"Jo's," I panted. He instantly nodded.

Sadly the universe had other plans for us. As we approached the far end of Cassibare Meadow where Jo's house stood, there was a flicker of grey uniform from beyond the trees. We froze in place as the flicker became fully fledged movement. The Guard were also at Jo's. It was enough to shatter my stupid illusion of safety. Ben's grip tightened again, and without words, he diverted our path. It made sense that the Guard would also check in on Jo. She was the only other one of us to attend Central College. They probably thought she helped me vandalise Marco's car.

You're such an idiot.

Our steps quickened, my heartbeat echoed our frantic pace and breaths raggedly misting in the cold air. I realised Ben was pulling me in the direction of The Grange.

"Are you mad? There'll be a load of them there!" I hissed.

"Yeah there will be. But there'll be more of us for the memorial and believe me, they'll riot if I tell them to. We just need to get you to Charlotte. I've hid in Piker's loads. If we can sneak you past them, you're golden. If that fails, Charlotte's lot will make all the distraction you need to run. Get to the flat directly above Daisy May's and ask for Aaron. Tell him I sent you."

As we approached the chainlink fence, Ben stripped off his hoodie, revealing his ragged grey t-shirt beneath it.

"Get this on, you'll stand out like a sore thumb wearing that." He indicated to the bright dress.

Pulling it over myself, I yanked my hood up and put my head down. Ben started speaking hurriedly to the first person he found, asking for people I did not know and instructing people to hide us. I was easy to hide, but Ben was huge.

The stalls seemed to blur around me as the hum of the marketplace grew louder, drowning out our footsteps. I risked a quick glance back, hoping we weren't being followed. It seemed safe but the fear didn't lessen. I was going to die because I couldn't hold my temper. I was going to die because Tiv told the Guard what I'd done.

I kept my hood up, head down, trying to become a shadow in the sea of people who were shuffling us to Piker's. The atmosphere in The Grange marketplace was different too. Haggling voices weren't present, neither was the clinking of coins. We were supposed to be mourning today and yet me and Ben were about to shit all over their plans. The stench of sweat and cooking food greeted me as we neared the concrete row of shops and flats. As we approached Piker's bar, I felt a fleeting sense of relief. It lasted seconds before our warning whistle started. A simple low to high tone which lasted a fraction of a second, not long enough for anyone to notice you doing it but loud enough to warn the people around you to stop unsavoury trades and dealing.

We were in danger.

With my hood pulled low, we slipped into the dimly lit bar, its customers lost in their own worlds. Ben, with his stupid temper itching to ignite, made a beeline for Charlotte, whispering angrily. She beckoned me over, shoving me into the storage corridor behind the bar. The plan was to keep me hidden. It lasted maybe thirty seconds before the whistling started again. Clearly, the Guard had been on the lookout for Ben too and his size made him a lot harder to hide. He didn't make it to the exit in time to slip away.

A sudden silence engulfed Piker's. Conversations stopped abruptly and eyes darted toward the entrance. The front door swung open revealing the unmistakable grey and blue uniforms of the Day Guard. Their entrance was a cold wind that swept away any safety. Panic tightened my chest as a big guy, a stern-faced officer, surveyed the room. He was flanked by at least five others. Heartbeat quickening, I clutched the edge of my hood, trying to merge into the shadows of the hallway, glancing at the fire door behind me. I instinctively took a step back, colliding with a spare barstool. Only one of the Guards looked up, the rest had their glares on Ben. The guy's shirt was creased. His emerald eyes quickly scanned me, then lingered on the fire exit behind me. With a subtle nod, he slyly offered an escape route.

I almost ran. I almost went to the flat about Daisy May's to find Aaron… But then, with eyes like steel, the officer leading the hunt narrowed on Ben. Time seemed to freeze.

His voice cut through the stillness like a dagger, "Benjamin Jameson, you are under arrest for aiding and abetting a fugitive. Where is Alayna Jameson?"

Ben started laughing, "My name isn't Benjamin, you fat fuck."

Charlotte swore and I had trouble not joining her. No sooner had the guard edged closer, Ben lost it, his temper shattering like glass. He lunged at the officer with a fury that would have shamed a thunderclap. I think I screamed, though over the chaos erupting around us it was hard to be sure. Every single person in the bar, Charlotte included, threw themselves into the fray. But they weren't trying to get Ben off the soldiers. They were trying to restrain the grey-shirts so Ben could continue his assault. The place turned into a madhouse, limbs flying and voices screaming. Rebels smashing against authority. And I caused it.

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All want to escape through the back exit to find Ben's mate went out the window when the Guard began brandishing their guns. I flung myself at my stupid brother, trying not to get knocked on my ass. Ben finally stilled, realising the guns were on me.

"Hi! I'm here. Sorry. How can I help? I heard I'm pretty famous right now," I grinned.

I had no idea why I thought antagonising them was a good idea. Maybe Jamesons just couldn't help themselves. Ben clung to me and my chest constricted as reality settled in. He'd just attacked a guard. He was going to die.

In the blink of an eye, several Day Guard surrounded us, faces cold and unforgiving. No chance to explain, no trial, no chance to plead our case. This was how it was for us. How it would always be. Because of Central assholes. Because of the Hawes family.

As they forcefully separated us, Ben's grip was snatched from mine. He continued to thrash and scream.

"Ben, shut up!" I begged.

I didn't know why I was bothering. He had done more than enough to die. So had I. He might as well go down swinging. And go down swinging he did. His massive frame was able to wriggle out of his subduers' grasps, smashing his face into another officer's before grabbing the man around the throat, forcing him to the wall. A guard eventually tasered him and he fell stiffly to the floor as I was held in place, gasping for air. How he hadn't been shot yet was a fucking mystery.

He swore loudly at Charlotte as he was dragged to his feet again and cuffed, "You better get them down when I hang! Burn the place to the fucking ground!"

Her face remained impassive until the guards' eyes fell from her before she gave a tiny, imperceptible nod… The shock of his words and her agreement made my body go rigid until I was forced onto the floor and shoved into handcuffs. With no explanations, a shock jolted through me like a lightning strike, a searing surge of electricity that hijacked every nerve in my body. Every muscle screamed in protest as if a thousand needles had pricked my skin simultaneously. My limbs betrayed me, flailing involuntarily as the electric current surged through my body. A deafening buzzing noise reverberated in my ears. And then, as abruptly as it started, it stopped. Though I hadn't struggled, I had been tasered too for good measure.

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Lucy probably would have thought it was hilarious we'd ruined her funeral; as Ben promised, a full-blown riot had started as we were dragged from The Grange. Lucy probably wouldn't have found it as funny that me and Ben had got ourselves killed for such entertainment though. It was weird that we'd been arrested at all, especially Ben. Anyone else would have been strung up there and then, although the metaphorical and literal flames of the riot spread so quickly, the Day Guard probably weren't able to get the nooses ready in time.

Instead, we'd been taken to prison and separated. Ben would be getting tortured, no doubt. They wouldn't let him get away with what he did without suffering before he died. I was lucky. I was just incarcerated.

The cold, sterile walls of the cell pressed in on me as I waited in silence. Even the prisons in Central were more pristine than any building in Outer. I despised it. Knowing I couldn't get myself into more trouble, I started scratching the paint off the walls. If I was going down for vandalism, why not make it thorough?

In our kingdom of rubble, we'll still stand.

For a second, the graffiti I'd etched into the paint felt like a giant middle finger to the Central assholes. That was until the realisation hit me that was only until they painted over it after my neck had been snapped in the courtyard of The Grange. At that moment, I was the one that felt flipped off.

It was Marco's pristine car that had sparked this disaster, and my boiling anger had escalated it. But he deserved it and I didn't regret it. It was only a matter of time before Ben flipped out at something and I protected him, getting myself killed in the process anyway. We would always go down together. My only hope was for our parents, but deep down I knew they were no different; we inherited their idiotic tempers. They were going to die too. Just like Mr And Mrs Hall. Me and Ben both knew all too well what the death of another child would do to our parents—no, those weren't the thoughts to be having right now... My chest constricted anyway as I took deep, gasping breaths, trying to stop tears from coming.

My fingers traced the words on the cell wall, my thoughts circling around Tiv. Blaming him was tempting; he'd proven he could get mad and throw a hissy fit with Michael. But doubt crept in. Maybe he wasn't capable of involving the Day Guard. We'd only known each other a few weeks. But I couldn't help thinking he was far too kind to let me die for a car. Or maybe I was giving him too much credit.

Then realisation hit like a truck. No, it wouldn't have been Tiv. He wouldn't do it to me. I knew that at the very least. Maybe… But I had screamed at his brother on the phone for several minutes and, unsurprisingly, it turned out Marco was the world's biggest prick. Keying his car had felt like the perfect revenge at the time. A little impulsive, yeah, but so was agreeing to a date with him in the first place. Regardless, I never thought Marco Hawes would be the reason I died when I agreed to a date.

The thought seemed to scream loud in the silence. Louder than any of the chaos in Piker's. It wasn't just about Marco's busted car or getting caught by the Day Guard. It was like a sneak peek into a future I didn't want any part of. Not like I had a choice—I probably had hours of future left. But it didn't stop my thoughts going to dark places. I wondered about the ones who had tried to help us at Charlotte's bar. What would happen to them? To Mum and Dad? Despair weighed heavily, making hanging seem almost like an escape from a bleak future working in the mines, always fearing Central's next move.

After what felt like an eternity, the heavy prison door groaned open and Ben was thrust into the adjacent cell. The metallic clang of the door locking behind him echoed through the air. His eyes were purple, his nose bleeding and he was hunched, gabbing his side as he slid down the cell wall, swearing under his breath. He shot me a glare, annoyance etched on his swollen face.

"Nice one, Alayna," he rasped.

I rolled my eyes. "Ah, like you didn't just charge at a Day Guard officer like a demented bull."

His jaw clenched and for a moment the only sound in the cell was the low hum of the ventilation.

"I told you to run," he eventually snapped.

"I couldn't leave you-"

"I told you to keep away from the Hawes family. I told you so and now we're both going to get hanged. I'm surprised they didn't do it there and then," he raged. "I should have known your temper would get me killed."

"Me? You're the one who can't control your psychosis," I shot back.

We lapsed back into a strained silence, the reality of our mess settling in. I leaned against the cold wall, stealing glances at Ben through the bars that separated us. We'd both be dead soon.

"Love you," I whispered.

"Shut up," he barked before adding, "Love you too, you runt. Thanks for getting me out of going to that memorial."

I didn't find him funny.

"I sort of wish they'd just shot us. Hanging seems slower," I breathed.

"It probably won't even hurt that much. Refuse the sack over your head and jump before the trap door opens. Better chance of breaking your neck." The horror on my face must have been obvious and he quickly shook his head and said, "Get a grip Aly; that's the worst-case scenario. They're dragging us kicking and screaming to those gallows. I'll do whatever I can for you to get away-"

"I'm not leaving you!"

"Shut up! The second you get the opportunity, run as fast as you can—don't you dare fucking wait for me. Hopefully, if Charlotte can make enough of a mess, they won't shoot you. Mum and Dad might stop themselves from getting hung if they've got one kid to live for. Get them to Stelduke in the mountains or if it's snowed in then go west to Garth and ditch the name Jameson."

I nodded, pushing the terror at his words deep down and put my head in my hands to stop the tears.

"Ah, don't start crying," he scoffed. "Don't give those pissants the satisfaction."

I took a deep breath, obeying him. The room reverted to silence as he pulled a pack of stolen cigarettes from his pocket. They had obviously been nicked after our admission to the prison because we'd been searched on arrival. Ben was lucky he didn't have his stolen phone on him, though I supposed they couldn't exactly hang him twice. I rolled my eyes as he took a deep drag of the cigarette but stayed silent. His old boyfriend had gotten him into smoking. Joshua had been a shit influence on Ben. When he got hung after a riot, I had hoped Ben might simmer down a bit. He did. He got real quiet for a while and kept his head down. Then Hayley died and it was the final straw. He just stopped giving a crap about anything after that.

It didn't take him much longer to spot the graffiti I'd etched on the wall and grin, singing the song loudly. I hadn't heard Ben sing in years. He had a great voice—him and Dad used to sing loads when I was a kid—it was what made me love music so much. But that was another thing that died with Hayley. Nobody sang in my house anymore. We were not long from the noose though so I figured it was one last fuck you to the Central elites and the shitshow we'd be leaving behind.

I smirked, "If you don't shut up they'll torture you more before they hang you."

He didn't stop so I joined him; I didn't want him to suffer alone. I started smacking the bars of the cell with my cuffs to add a happy little beat to the tune.

I know you think me little,

And so brittle and so fickle.

You just hide up in your tower,

In my kingdom I will stand.

My kingdom made of rubble,

In my kingdom I'll still stand.

Light the pyre of the fire,

Defiance just like thunder.

We're the whispers in the rubble,

In our kingdom, we'll still stand.

I know the black wall runs high,

But that won't make us comply.

I know your crooks in their grey suits,

United we will stand.

I know you think us little,

And so brittle and so fickle.

You can't hide from us in pursuit,

In your kingdom we will stand.

Your kingdom turned to fragments,

In your kingdom we will band.

Burn the pyre of that liar,

Destructive just like thunder.

We're the shouting in the rubble,

In our kingdom-

We were interrupted abruptly as I figured we were about to be beaten to bloody pulps for singing about rebellion. The heavy door swung and I gawked as Mayrina Hawes stepped into the room, Mum on her heels. Mayrina's composed demeanour seemed slightly ruffled, her golden-black eyes held a mixture of anger and relief.

"Can you two shut up!" Mum hissed before a word left Mayrina's lips.

We both fell silent, apprehension replacing the air in the room. Singing a song about burning Anthony Hawes alive seemed like an almighty stupid idea when his wife was standing on the other side of the door.

"Alayna. Ben," Mayrina addressed us formally, her tone betraying none of the warmth she'd shown at her manor. Her glare lingered on Ben like she already despised him. "You two have caused quite a headache for me."

Mum gave Ben a look from behind Mayrina that threatened a slow death if he opened his thick mouth. Thankfully, he obliged, keeping it shut.

"The Day Guard are furious, however I managed to pull a few strings. You're to be released immediately with no questions asked on the condition you refrain from going to The Grange and you never cause such a mess again."

I felt my jaw hanging open as two guards, including Michael, opened our cells.

Michael immediately hissed at Ben about familiars threatening to burn the prison down if we'd been harmed. I had no idea we'd been so popular…

"The Guard who tasered you somehow drowned in the middle of The Grange," Michael barely made a sound as he spoke.

Ben gave him a wicked grin and whispered, "Tell Riley he's a diamond."

Why the hells was my brother using familiars to kill people?

As the cell door clanged open I stepped out, Michael removed my cuffs giving me an exasperated smile. Rubbing my wrists where the handcuffs had left their mark, a cathartic pain rippled up my arms. Ben followed Michael, walking with a limp. An angry scowl etched his face as he glared at Mayrina with nothing but resentment. It was like he wanted to die.

Mayrina led us along the cold hallway, her heels clicking against the polished tile floor, until we got to the foyer. It was a beautiful building compared to the rest of the place. A nice little reminder that Central had more money to spend on the aesthetics of prison entrances than we had to spend on hospitals. Dad stood there, grim-faced as we emerged into the harsh light of the chandelier-lit foyer.

Mayrina turned to us, her gaze stern. "Consider this a favour. Be more careful going forward. We're not living in times where rebellion goes unpunished."

"Lambentian bitch," Ben muttered, definitely loud enough for her to hear, as he limped past us out of the building.

Mayrina stood wide-eyed and rigid as she watched him go. Mum hissed out a frantic apology before her friend held up a hand to silence her. Mum instantly shut up and I ground my teeth together. Considering they were best mates, it didn't seem like they were on mutual ground. If Jo or Lucy had done that to me I would have slapped them across the face. The difference was Jo and Lucy wouldn't have done it. They treated people with respect.

"You are lucky, darling," Mayrina spat at me. "Had Tiv not told me of the mockery the Day Guard were making of my husband's laws, you and your reckless brother would have most likely been hung on the spot."

She said it like it was my damn fault her laws were stupid. However, anger was momentarily quashed as I realised what she'd said. Tiv had told her about the riots in The Grange. Tiv had actually protected us. While deep down I knew he wasn't the reason the Guard had come for me, I didn't expect him to have helped either. The idiot really was a good person. How could two brothers be such opposites?

"You are not to see either of my sons again," Mayrina continued sternly.

Like only the sister of Ben Jameson could do, I barked out a harsh laugh, "Strangely enough, I don't want to see little boys who make bets on whether they can screw me."

"You- what?" Dad seethed.

"You heard me. Marco had a thousand ven on whether he could bed me. I don't make a habit of keying cars. I was just angry that Marco tried to fuck me for money and that Tiv kept that little secret to himself," I snapped before spitefully adding, "I'm not at all surprised to learn a Central car is more important than my life though."

I took great satisfaction from the look on Mayrina's face; she looked like I'd punched her. Now it was her turn to beg my Mum for forgiveness. In what I could only assume was an entirely purposeful action, Mum held up her hand, silencing Mayrina. They both stared at each other for a weird moment as Dad went more and more purple behind them. Eventually, he cracked first, leaving like Ben had before he also flipped out.

"We shall excuse your son's vile behaviour for mine," Mayrina eventually said. "My boys will be dealt with."

Mum nodded, stiff-faced.

Mayrina didn't speak again before she turned on her heels and left. The second the door closed I turned to Mum.

"Is Jo okay?" I hissed.

"Yeah, she's fine. Mayrina sorted it all out," she replied sternly.

Mum demanded an explanation from me and I told her everything, thankful Dad wasn't there. After I'd finished speaking, Mum's stupid unwavering loyalty to Mayrina shone through as she told me how lucky I was. I didn't feel lucky. I felt like a little mouse trapped in Central's cage. More surprisingly still, Mum told me how lucky I was to have Tiv.

"He clearly cares about you. Maybe destroying his brother's car was a stupid idea," she snapped.

I didn't say anything else. I had two great weeks with Tiv. That was enough. Ben was right; that family was dangerous. I was better off without him.

So why didn't it feel like it?