I yawn and stretch my shoulders. It had been a while since I remembered a dream so vividly. I grin, feeling all giddy inside. The dream reminds me of the my little pony movies I used to watch in my old world. How amazing wouldn’t it be, to be able to overcome any obstacle with the power of friendship and compassion. To be so powerful, that I could give the finger to this harsh reality, and make it so that everyone could live a meaningful and satisfying life. As I get ready to leave, I start focussing again on my goals of finding the town and avoiding danger. But quickly, I freeze, as my concentration drops like a brick.

I’ve been an idiot, no don't call yourself that, be kind, I've been a silly goose. I’ve been so caught up in my fear of getting hurt, that I didn’t realize I already have this kind of power. I’ve only been focussing on avoiding danger, and fighting what I couldn’t avoid. But, from the ones I fought over the last days, how many of them were really a threat to me? Sure, they came at me with the intent to kill, and I responded in kind. But they’re mindless, just following their nature. I am more than that, I can make a choice. Why didn’t I even try to avoid those fights in the same way I do for the dangerous ones.

Deep inside, I already know the answer to that question, a part of me loves the violence. I’d learned that very quickly after arriving in this world. And even though I’d sworn then that I would not start any unnecessary violence. It had only taken a few weeks for me to break that promise, without even noticing that I had. How easy it had been, to just think of the animals in this forest as challenges I need to overcome. That there was nothing wrong with killing them in self defense. When I was the one invading their territories. How easy, to justify it as just the cycle of life, I killed them, as they killed others. But I don’t need to eat them to survive, the myriad plants in the forest provide me with everything I need.

I grip little blue in both of my hands, and pray. Not for forgiveness, but to share my gratitude for having come to this realization. And to renew my conviction out loud, to always strive to avoid unnecessary violence. In this way, I restart my journey, no longer focussing on just avoiding danger. But also on the thought of avoiding unnecessary violence.

Following the guidance of my intuition towards the town, I pass by a place that feels familiar. While I can’t put my finger on it, I have been here before. Well, as good a place as any for a short break, I think to myself. As I find a comfortable seat against a tree, doing my best to recall why it feels like I’ve been here before.

After a while it hits me, this is where I originally arrived in this world. How is that possible? It had taken me mere hours to reach the boat the first time, but now, it has taken me more than a week to return here. After mulling over it for a while, I realize that in the end, it doesn’t matter. I needed that week traveling through the forest, I learned as much during that time, as during the week spent on the boat. Whatever magic had been at play here. I’m back at the starting line now, and this time around, I’m ready to face the world.

However, this isn’t just my starting line, I think. Someone’s life ended here as well. I wonder, was I just dropped in a random body that died recently. Or was this person killed to receive my soul? And even if she wasn’t killed to make room for my soul, what could the reason for the girl’s death have been? I suddenly feel guilty for never having considered these questions before. I know that I tend to become absorbed in whatever catches my attention. And learning magic and surviving in the woods was pretty all consuming. But really Zafira, I sigh internally, to not even stop and think for a second about who or what would kill a young girl like that and leave the body to rot.

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Aaaargh, I yell, I won’t be able to let this go now that it’s in my head. This will keep haunting me if I don’t find some answers. Ok Zafira, change of plans, the town won’t run away, let’s try to find out what really happened here first. Let’s start by looking around, and see if I can find any clues. It couldn’t have happened long before I entered this world, or the animals would have gotten to the body.

I spend a few hours combing through the area, but cannot find anything that would shed a light on this mystery. My intuition keeps guiding me to the same spot, the place where I woke up in this world, but there’s nothing there to see. I sigh, as I realize that I won’t be able to do this on my own. I haven’t called on the power of a spirit since the disaster in the creek, where I summoned the flame of destruction. And while I thought that I was just training my own power first. I notice now that I’m actually afraid to try. Even a gentle spirit’s power is way above my own, and I would be at the mercy of their nature once I manifest them into this world. Is this worth it, I ask myself.

I curse, I can’t believe this. The spirits have been a major part of my life all along, and just because of one bad experience, I’ve become a timid mouse, too scared to call on them. It doesn’t matter if this is worth it, I don’t want to live a life scared of the spirits. I’m going to do it slowly and carefully, but I need to start manifesting them again. To build up my self confidence and get over my fear. So I sit down in a cross legged position at the spot that my intuition has been pointing towards, and find the stillness in my head.

Flow of time,

streaming gentle but unyielding.

I wish to look into your waters,

and see the echoes of what happened here.

Name your price,

to sate my curiosity.

I don’t need to wait long, as a feeling of agreement comes over me. Good, always ask for the price first, it seems to tell me. The price is energy and pain. The energy you can supply in a day will provide the power to complete this contract. But you will feel the memories unfiltered, her pain, will become your pain. I swallow, as I steel myself.

Flow of time,

streaming gentle but unyielding.

I offer you my energy for today.

Let me look into your waters.

And see the echoes of what happened here.

By my will, so mote it be.