I feel a chuckle coming from little blue, and I decide to only hold my thanksgiving ritual when Big Blue is in the sky from now on. So I return to the cabin on the boat to go to sleep.

The next week goes by in pretty much the same way. In the morning, I start with gathering food. But now that I finally have a bag to help me carry stuff, I can bring some back and start storing reserves for a rainy day. Then I do my yoga exercises, after which it’s time for magical experiments till lunch. In the afternoon, I take a nap and then practice all the magic that I have already discovered. After which, I have a nice chat with Big Blue when They're in the sky, telling Them all about my day, and asking Them about Theirs. They never reply beyond ‘fine’, but I keep asking anyway, maybe one day They’ll also feel like sharing more about Themselves.

I’ve learned a lot by now about my powers and their limitations. When I’m using magic to do things that can also be achieved by mundane means, I usually either can do it, or not, but I’m not limited to how often I can do it in a day. As it doesn’t seem to put a significant drain on me.

There are a few things that I can also do without reservation that are not possible without magic. I can focus on something I want to achieve, and listen very closely to what my intuition is telling me. Sometimes the result is a mental tug in a certain direction, or the feeling of a thread I need to follow. Other times it is a sudden moment of clarity or inspiration, making me do something in a way I hadn’t thought of before.

Another thing is slowing time down to a crawl for a creature for some time. I first thought I was holding them in place, but if I don’t disturb them in any other way, they don’t even notice what is happening. I took a nut from between the paws of a squirrel this way, and the poor thing looked so surprised and sad, that I put it back the same way.

My telekinesis works like having an extra hand that’s floating and invisible. I can move it freely in quite a big range (for a hand). However I need to keep focussing on it for it to do anything. If I don’t, then it just hovers there. It isn’t as strong as my regular hands, but it’s fun to play with nevertheless. I like just hovering a stone around my head while walking through the forest to practice with it. Or if I really put all my focus on it, juggling a few stones with that one hand. I’m really hoping that if I keep practicing with it, I’ll eventually be able to have multiple of these hands active at the same time, and let them lift stronger things.

My most favorite power though, is the one to repair stuff. To restore things back to their previous state. It’s not as omnipotent as I originally thought. When I tried to repair Madam’s clock, it made it look completely new again, only it wouldn’t work. I also cannot use it to create something new from scratch, even if I have all the necessary parts and know how it should be made. But that doesn’t stop me from enjoying it immensely. The satisfaction I get from feeling the energy flow from the earth, through my body, into an item. And then to see it slowly become strong and clean again is indescribable. By now, I have finished restoring the entire boat, as well as all of Madam’s belongings, and I actually feel sad about that. But deliberately breaking her stuff just to practice my magic, no, that’s something i don’t even want to ask her permission for.

All of these things, I can do all day long, without tiring out significantly. Well, at least not anymore than when I used to spend the same amount of time behind a computer.

Beyond these, there are the actual rituals. Magic that requires me to take some time to arrange a proper magic circle, and whatever other setup I need. They usually take me around 10 minutes to cast, but I don’t seem to be limited to the amount of times a day I can cast them. I’ve managed to figure out 2 so far. One that causes an alarm to go off in my head when a creature enters a certain area. And one that makes food that isn’t safe to eat edible. I must say that I’m quite happy with that last one, as there were a lot of berries around that my intuition told me not to eat. Probably because the animals know better than to eat them as well. However with this ritual, I can eat them, and their spiciness is delicious.

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Another category I found is what I would call true spells. 2 times a day, I can command the energies around me, to achieve an effect that is much greater than what I can achieve by simply channeling the energy. The effects I’ve managed to achieve so far are to heal a wound instantly (versus slowly recovering while channeling), to make it so that I can travel faster without spending more energy for quite a while, to make it harder for a creature to touch me as long as I don’t touch them, and the last one, to block something flying at me.

In the last category, that I call manifestation, I haven’t made any real progress. I know that I can summon an elemental and ask it to do something. However, controlling it has proven still too difficult for me. So for now, I think that I’m better off not using this kind of magic too often, unless I’m really, really desperate and well prepared.

Armed with all of this knowledge, I feel that I’m almost ready to face the world, and start exploring further out. There’s only one thing still missing, a means to attack if I need to defend myself. While I have quite some ways to help preserve my life and try to run away, I don’t feel satisfied with just that. I don’t want to be a helpless lamb that can only run away. I want to be able to show my teeth if needed as well. However, I haven’t made any progress in harnessing the elemental energies to do damage so far. My skills in creating fire are still limited to a simple spark. When I try to shoot a stone at something, I can throw it harder with my hands. I haven’t been able to harness anything even remotely close to lighting. Let alone moving water in such a way that it can be used offensively.

No, if I want to be able to use my magic to attack, I’m going to have to search in a different direction. And sadly, I already know what the direction is that I should be looking into. My intuition has been hinting at it, but I don’t feel comfortable with it, and I was hoping there was another option. The complete antithesis of my favorite spell, repair, but at the same time so similar, that it will probably be trivial to cast it. Instead of calling the best state of something back through time. Reach forward, and speed up the decay that time would bring.

I sigh, I really don’t want to use my power this way. To take something so beautiful, and turn it into a scary weapon. But I’ve exhausted all my other options. And I would rather do this, than die at the hands of some creature or human in the future. So with sadness in my heart, I find the stillness in my mind I’m so familiar with by now, look at a fish in the creek, and start to chant while channeling. Using a song from the same movie that I inspired my repair chant on.

Wither and decay.

End this destiny.

Break these earthly chains.

And set the spirit free.

The effect is quick, and horrifying. The fish in the stream looks like it’s rotting quickly, as if I’m watching a sped up movie of a corpse decomposing. Its remains float to the surface, and I watch it drift away with the flow. Fully convinced that not even my purifying ritual would be able to make it edible anymore.

I drop down in a fetus position, and cry.

Because it was so easy.

Because I’m ready to start exploring.

Because I’ll likely have to do this again in the future.