Dream, dream.

A mind of business and my heart fell for intricacy of arts. I dropped out my business degree for designing buildings. For 12 years of my life and almost half of my father’s it was labeled to me “my father’s child, with mind of excellence. He should be the next best CEO.” A child of 10 celebrated it with enthusiasm of another fancy celebration. Since then, I was ought to love business, and I had liked it.

I had liked it how it made my father proud.

I had liked how my father would let me go out to explore the businesses.

I had liked how my father was so fond of business

I liked how my father eyes gleam.

I liked everything about it.

Then I hated to admit that child grew up on his own. He started exploring. His mind flew from places to places. The child become an adult and an adult with a dream like a child.

What I did not liked was; my urge to disappoint him with what I loved.

I hated how I had to water his hopes.

I hated how I had to say ‘no’ to man who ever did was say ‘yes’ to me.

I hated how I loved him less than myself.

I hated how I had A DREAM.

I hated how I wanted this dream to come true.

I hated how I had to be a rebel.

I hated how he had me.

I always remembered dates. Dates I had my life almost changed. 9th of December, my 5th semester got completed and I had dropped out. And I had to tell my father I had a dream.

Father, I had to because this girl I fell for made me happy, she showed me what happiness does look like. I was always happy; you did make me happy but she showed me the elation that came from passion. I loved business, I loved it but when I picked the charcoal pencil and drew a home for you; A life, a little life bloomed in me and it made me smile different. She never did anything wrong she just saw the gleam in my eyes and told me about it, she saw it dad. Why did not you? I lived with this business degree mind too much I couldn’t show it to you but when did you saw my eyes empty of dream. You saw me under the light of dream that you saw for me. Father, i wasn’t empty when I saw a dream is this how you shouldn’t be like? A child with dream was never yours. I am grateful you were generous for giving the life one could only wish. I had everything just a life empty of dream. I hadn’t this ability to have one, it was never needed but I saw someone living with passion and they shone the brightest in the crowd. Dad, I grew jealous of her, I was jealous of her that it thrived this zeal in me. Dad, I am sorry. I became a dreamer. It’s been years since you said I am no longer your son and you have nothing to do with an idiot driven by desire of time. Father, I make decent amount to live now. It was difficult to live at first, I missed you. I missed you. I wanted to run back at home and hug you then come back to my life of my dream. The luxury I left behind I never missed it, I missed; you. I know you love me. I know you love us. I know you love her as your own. Father, she loves you too. She cried everyday missing the love you gave her. She missed how you gave her family recipes as a secret but when she learned how to cook them, she couldn’t make them for you. She cried at night in the balcony, when she made your favourite dish and it tasted the same as yours. She slept empty stomach that day. She never cooked it again. She loves you to father. We love you. Each passing day, I wish we could always live like kids who lived for their parents but father wouldn’t it be betraying this soul god made. We only wanted to be fair to yourselves dad. Dad, this life of dream may not be the nicest but I come home tired and always fell asleep satisfied with a smile. Then I cry a little and dream of us together, happy, again. I liked living this life. We were living tight on paychecks but I was living a life of dream.

This novel's true home is a different platform. Support the author by finding it there.

I like it. I was satisfied.

But what I did not liked was. I became a fatherless child with my father alive. You will come to my condo, sit there looking around. I saw you face contort in discomfort of your child living a life you never wished to ever see me. Father, I knew all the groceries you left on the door. She always told me; I save us money a lot and every time I couldn’t get it. Hiding the tears behind silly jokes, she made sure we are smiling. Every day you made sure I had the food. With cracking this mystery, I lived my dream better. You were here, even if you didn’t wanted to be. You were my father. When you visited me and refused to even look at me some part of dying but was keeping me live too. I wanted you to look me as before, better than before. Dad, I hated myself too. I hated it. I hated how you grew this disliking for her when all she did was tell me my covet dream is killing me and I deserve to live, to live it.

I had lived a life by you and she did nothing. She did nothing just showed a smile. A smile of me when my dream had shone bright, a smile when I had a dream, I knew I loved and how it looked like.

4th of march I realized I had a dream and I had met her on the same day.

4th of march I realized I had selfishness that I had to make it come true.

9th of march I decided it the first one to celebrate my success should be you.

Father, don’t you want to know does this dreaming feels like? Dad, I feel so alive. I feel as if the world isn’t that bad after all. When I dare to play with lines, when dared to bend them to make it flower in wall. Dad, my own art mocked me and I did it, it pushed me to do better. It laughed in my face and I cried however your son never wanted to give up ever because why should he. I did better the next time until it got satisfied. I loved this tormented self because I started sleeping better at nights. Dad, I loved it. I liked business too but it never sparked my soul. Dad I never felt as I lived a life until I started to live my dream. It made me satisfied and happy; I was content enough. I had no regrets; I have no regrets. Dad, why did my dream make you angry? I never get to know the answer and I always dared to ask it. You never told me dad. What more I can harbor now? I still ask you dad why?

Why?

Why did this fate had to be so cruel that we had to part our ways? Why did you just let me go?

Was my dream so cruel that you killed being alive.